I'm tugging at my hair

I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows

Marti Venturi walked down the legendary Thompson High School, head held up high as only a Venturi could. Because of her brothers and step-sisters excellent reputation, she had taken on the role of Miss Popularity. Okay, it was Derek only really. Being the Captain of the hockey team, the school's best prankster, and D-rock's lead guitarist, he had the school pretty much under his thumb. It all rubbed off on his little sister and now she ruled the hallways. Everyone wanted to be her friend, be her lover, or simply be like her. Life was sweet.

I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

Well, almost. There was one person who could defy all the rules of the school jungle and actually hate her. Who? His name was Dimi Davis. Tall, broad, and Captain of the football team. He was known as the most popular guy in the school. Of course, since she was the most popular girl, it was expected of them to date. But, once again, Dimi had the power to get under her skin and on her last nerve.

I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

He was coming right at her. Both of them were too stubborn to turn away, so like always, they met in the middle of the hall, nose to nose.

"Move, Venturi." He growled.

"Awe. Is poor wittle Dimi's light dimming?" She replied with a smirk.

"Oh wait. Don't tell me. It's purple day, right?"

"Shut it idiot."

"Make me moron."

"Very mature," she said sarcastically.

"Get away from me you freak."

With that, the bane of her existence strode off to class.


If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight

She never understood how they could have been so close when they were younger. Their older sisters were best friends, which gave them a free pass to see each other day after day. Then, his older sister started going out with her older brother. Their families drew even closer. For three more years, Marti and Dimi were practically inseparable, just like their older siblings.


If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today

It was the summer before they started grade two. Marti and Dimi were in the backyard, playing in a patch of dirt.

"Hey Dimi! Wanna get married?"

"Sure"

Marti dragged Dimi all the way up to her room so they could dig through her dress-up stuff. She pulled out a long, white dress about ten times her size and pulled it over her clothes. She then found an old suit jacket that probably at one time belonged to Derek.

"Here. Put this on."

She then sneaked into Casey's room and did her make-up using lots of green, blue, and purple.

Their ceremony was on the back porch, those in attendance being Sir-monks-a-lot, Daphne, a whole array of dolls and stuffed animals, and of course, Derek being the one stuck baby-sitting.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride".

"Eww, no way Smerek!"

"Gross! She's all germy!"


Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

She knew very well what she felt about him. Just the fact that she got butterflies in her stomach every time he was around, or the way she could sense his presence before she even saw him, she knew.

She knew she had fallen for her arch-enemy, and hard.

It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind

Their friendship came to an abrupt end when Emily Davis committed suicide at the young age of twenty. Marti and Dimi were just starting grade six, and were starting to slowly drift apart.

No one knew what had happened, she had seemed so happy.

Then they found out the reason. Derek.


If it ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

Turns out she caught the love of her life cheating on her. And with her best friend, his step-sister.

The scandal tore the two families away from each other. The Davis' seemed to blame the parents for the whole thing. Suddenly, Marti and Dimi were forbidden to see each other. Once they got a bit of understanding on the subject, Dimi went on hating her too. That was the first time they went their separate ways without turning back.

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

She knows very well what the suicide did to her siblings. Derek and Casey broke apart and haven't spoken to each other since. Separately, Marti knows how much they pine for each other, yet she knows they'll never try to reconcile their relationship. It's was too dangerous the way their actions brought someone's life to an end. They both regret following their heart.

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight

Nobody outside the two families knew the truth. According to her schoolmates, Derek was the best thing that has ever happened to the town. She knows what he must have felt. The way he used to look at Casey told her everything she needed to know. Yet, her relationship with him changed as well. Gone were the legendary Smerek and Smarti, in their place were two siblings who could simply hold down a civil conversation during his yearly visit.


If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today

Lunch at any high school is the same. Disgusting. For her, however, lunch held a different meaning. The cafeteria is one of the few times she came across Dimi on a daily basis. She still doesn't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. She chose the latter.

As she picked up her tray and turned around, just her luck, she nearly collided with him.

"Watch it, Klutzilla."

Marti's eyes narrowed. She knew perfectly well where that insult originated.

Dimi leaned up close until she could feel his breath on her face.

"We all know what he was thinking when he said that." He whispered.

He leaned even closer, bringing his lips up to her ear. She felt her knees go weak.

"Incest"

He said it so softly, at first; she thought it must have been her imagination. But the look on his face told her all she needed to know.


Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

She blinked back tears. He was the only one who knew where to get her where it hurts. Without the usual retaliation, she shoved him back with her tray, dumped her lunch over his head, and ran out.

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away

She kept running right out of the building and down the street. Without even stopping to take a breath, she ran all the way home. She hurriedly unlocked the door and slammed it behind her. A few seconds later she was sitting in his chair, her cell phone in hand. She wanted to call the one person who, at one time, could make everything better, but she couldn't.


I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say

She threw her phone down in devastation and pulled her knees up to her chest. She couldn't hold it in any longer, the tears started streaming. She sat there, sobbing, hoping, aching. They were gone. Anyone who could possibly be there for her was gone. With that thought in mind, the sobs came harder and wouldn't stop.

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah

Too make matters worse, she still loved him. She tried so hard to hate him, but couldn't. He was still Dimi, the one she grew up with, just in a different context. She tried to hate Derek instead, yet in her mind, she knew exactly how he felt. The difference was, he acted on those feelings and brought pain to this family. No matter how much she ached for him, she'd never show it. These things were meant to be kept inside her.

Yes I'm wishing my life away

with these things I'll never say

The next day, she showed up at school as usual. Some people tried to question what exactly had happened yesterday, but she didn't bother to add to her vague answer. After all, family secrets are what kept her status around here.

She may look happy on the outside, yet inside, she holds the burden of five years of pain, all tied down within her heart. And she knew very well, that one day the ship would sink and she'd be broken, broken beyond repair, torn apart like cotton candy.


If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight

She passed him in the hallway yet again. This time, however, Dimi simply walked passed her without even acknowledging her presence. She was surprised he didn't try to rub in yesterday's events, which was definitely unlike him. She was expecting more than that.

She turned around, and sure enough, there he was, taunting her with that boyish stance she had grown to love.

"Someone didn't bother using a hairbrush this morning."

He smirked and walked off, not even bothering to wait for a reaction.


If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today

Once Dimi was around the corner and out of sight, he leaned against the lockers and sighed. He knew he had crossed a line yesterday. Never before had they brought up their family's fate. He never meant to hurt her, all he knew was that he always seemed to lose control when she was around. It was happening so fast, he had almost kissed her and it almost killed him to think he had to cover it up with one of the worst things he could possibly say. Love made him do stupid things.


Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

These things I'll never say

A/N: I didn't write this chapter. It was written by napd567 as part of his/her (just because I don't know) 30 one-shot challenge, Within Our Bounds. I will however, be continuing with the story, making it into a full blown story. Also, neither I nor napd567 owe the song Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne.