TITLE: As Luck Would Have it (pt 1 of 10)
AUTHOR: dustytiger aka
Trista Groulx
RATING: M to be safe (or whatever is the equivalent
to R)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, and I am
certainly not making any money from borrowing them. They belong to
NBC their creator and the actors and actresses who portray
them.
SUMMARY: what would have happened in the early days had Kim
made a different choice?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: this is just a little
plot bunny that came to me while talking to a friend. You'll
probably figure out who the guy is pretty early on, but I don't use
his name right away. All the parts are done now so I can't leave
you hanging like I have in the past.
Kim looked at the piece of cardboard and plastic she groaned when she saw the indicator. She picked up the box again, hoping for a moment that she had had a dyslexic moment and had read it backwards. As she re-read the results she knew it was right, she sighed, and shook her head, fighting back tears. It was right, and her suspicions had been well founded.
She knew she didn't want to tell him the truth. She couldn't, afraid that if she told him she would lose him forever. He'd think she had trapped him. He was the first good guy she had found, and now she was certain she was going to lose him over this. It wasn't intentional she hadn't even realized the mistake until it was too late to take the proper precautions.
Five missed pills and one very memorable and amazing night would bring the best relationship of her life to a crashing halt. She knew she didn't want to do anything drastic. She even knew she wanted this to happen one day. This just wasn't how she had hoped it would happen.
She even knew she wanted him to be the father of her children one day; however, she didn't want to spend the rest of her life wondering whether he stayed for what they shared or just because he would want to do what was best for his unborn child. Feelings like that, she knew, could eat away at a person, and that's why she just couldn't tell him the truth.
She threw the test into the garbage, and put a note by her phone to call her doctor the next morning. Not that she could forget. She had heard that sometimes these tests were wrong. Maybe she would get lucky, and it was one of those false positives. But they also said a woman knew, and she knew that there was defiantly someone growing inside of there.
She felt horrible, and was exhausted. She knew she should try to get some sleep. It would be an ever harder shift to work if she got no sleep. Her mind was reeling, but as if on auto-pilot she got herself ready for bed.
When she laid down she couldn't hold it in any longer; she began to cry. Not because of the baby growing inside of her. She wanted it, even if it meant doing it alone. She was crying because a flood of great memories began to flow. She was sure that as soon as he found out that's all they would ever be, some of the most amazing memories of her life.
She knew the things she would miss the most were not the things they did in that bed. Those were pretty amazing; she knew if she had to she could be satisfied. What she could never replace would be the little things he did.
Like the way she would wake up the next morning to find him propped up on one arm watching her sleep. It was a wonderful feeling to wake up to, knowing that the man who had stolen your heart was next to you, seeing his eyes staring adoringly at you when you woke up would send anyone over the moon. When she would ask what he was doing he'd tell her just watching sleeping beauty, or something equally as cheesy. From his lips, however, it seemed sweet and even sincere.
At least until she dropped this bomb on him. When this detonated any adoration that might have been found in his eyes was sure to disappear. She was so mad at herself for forgetting those damn pills. She had never forgotten them before, at least not almost for a full week. He would never trust her again. She had promised him that night that they would be safe and she didn't mean from just infections. She could not see how he could possibly understand. Even if he did it wouldn't be the same as it was before.
A baby, they could deal with, but she had betrayed his trust. Neither of them was ready for this. They hadn't talked about it, but if he was ready protection would not have been such a hot button issue for them. It was impossible to win back trust after something like this.
Kim spent a very restless night, tossing and turning; thinking about all the things that could have been for them which now would never be. When she heard the unmistakable buzz of her alarm she knew she hadn't gotten any real sleep that night. There was too much on her mind to even properly rest.
She got out of bed, slowly, and when she saw her reflection in the bathroom mirror she was now certain she hadn't slept a wink. No amount of make up could cover the stress and the sleepless night she had had. As she stared at her haggard reflection she found one upside. She could lie.
The way she looked knowing the truth about her appearance she could almost convince herself that she really did have a hang over. She would tell him that a girlfriend had called, and needed to go for a night of drinks. She wished it were the truth, that would be easier to explain, and would go away the next morning.
But when her stomach began to lurch she knew the truth. This was not going to be fixed with a giant cup of coffee and greasy yet somehow delicious breakfast. This would not be over for months; she knew that she would have to go it alone.
End part 1
End notes: so this fic could have been one part, but doesn't like chapters being together so it's 10 it's pretty short, it's finished so nooooo evil cliffhangers such as some of my older fic I promise