Another Auld Lang Syne…

Chapter 1

"No…no, Mom, it'll just be me this time. Don't stress out about the guest room, because I know you will," Blaine forced a smile as he shook his head, flipping through shirts in his huge closet. Thankfully he had some long sleeved shirts to pack since he seemed to be traveling more often than not, lately. He didn't have much of a need for them in L.A. most of the time.

"Why isn't Seth coming with you? It's not right to be apart during the holidays, honey," Pam scolded him.

"I guess he wants to see his family, Mom, and I really…I really don't," Blaine sighed, half a sardonic laugh coming out with it and Pam snickered, too. He'd never been a fan of his long time boyfriend's family. He and Seth had been together for the better part of 8 years now and not once had any member of Seth's family ever embraced him or offered him a genuinely heartfelt greeting. They were workaholics, wealthy from generations before them and concerned only with money and appearances. They were cold people, that was for certain.

You know what they say about the apple not falling far from the tree? Well that wasn't true for Seth, as he was nothing like them at all. He was warm and friendly, intelligent and easy going. He was a good friend, which is how he and Blaine had begun…as friends. Blaine longed for those days. Truthfully, Seth would probably spend Christmas with anyone but his family. With another sigh Blaine focused back on the phone conversation his Mom had kept up while his mind wandered.

"…and Pops had planned to come over, but I think we're going to head over there instead, especially since you'll be here. Gran's been getting around a little slower lately, ya know? I worry…"

"I know you do. She's getting up there in years, Mom. I don't mind going there instead."

"You know all of your cousins will probably show up now, and maybe bring their friends. Oh…Goodness…well…maybe I shouldn't even tell them you're coming home this year. Remember the last time we had Christmas Eve at Granny's house and your cousin Sidney brought that awful, awful girl with her and she tried to spike your drink and get you all-"

"Yes, oh my God, Mom, I remember, and I'd really rather not. Can we just…just don't tell them I'm coming home. It'll be a surprise for Granny and Pops. You know that means you can't tell Cooper either. He can't keep a secret to save his miserable life," Blaine smirked.

"You're right…absolutely no telling Cooper. He'll turn it into a three ring circus on the front lawn. I'm just so excited, Blaine. It's been a long time since we've all been here to trim the tree together. Your father will be thrilled. You know how he is with his traditions and all, and the four of us together to celebrate on Christmas Eve at Granny's house like we used to? He'll love it."

"I can't wait to see him, either, Mom. It's been too long. Everything's ok, right? You guys are ok?"

"Everything's fine, honey. I promise. Yes, there are hiccups in life, but we've moved past it and I think we're well and truly back to being 'us' again. I'm glad."

"I am, too. I really am."

"Well, honey, what time should I pick you up from the airport?"

"I'm not sure yet, really. I think…I'm thinking about maybe driving. I could use the time alone to think, ya know? I…I have a lot on my mind these days, Mom."

"Oh…Blaine, no. If you drive, it's that many more days we won't have you here! I'll pay for the flight if you—"

"Mom!" Blaine laughed. "Are you implying I can't afford a plane ticket!? Seriously?"

"I just…oh, don't make fun of your mother, Blaine Devon!" She giggled. "I don't see you as the big shot, superstar that you are, you're just my little boy! I know you have more money than you need or know what to do with, but I just…I'm your mother, Blaine. I want you home, all to myself, for a little while. Driving will take too long, and I'll worry. You don't want to worry your mother now, do you, Blaine?" She teased. Blaine grinned into the phone and chuckled, glancing out the window at the Christmas lights adorning his neighbor's balcony railing. Deep breath, Blaine.

"No, Mom…I don't want to worry you…not now, not ever…" he trailed off, and she was sure she heard a sniff at the end. Pausing with his hand on a clear plastic garment bag, Blaine ran his fingers over the navy suiting, the red piping around the lapels still as vibrant as ever.

"Blaine…sweetheart, is everything ok? Are you ok? You know how I worry and if you're planning to drive across the country from L.A. to Ohio by yourself—"

"I dunno, Mom. Maybe you're right…let me think about it. Maybe I'll just get a plane ticket and fly home. That's all I'd need is to fall asleep at the wheel and have an accident. I can see it now: 'Billboard Artist of the Year, Blaine Anderson, in the hospital with multiple injuries during cross country trip home for the holidays….' That would just be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it?" Blaine let his eyes fall closed and blew out a deep breath.

"Blaine…are you sure you're ok? You don't sound like yourself and I worry, you know? I'm your Mother, Short Stuff, and you know you can talk to me if—"

"I know, Mom. I…I know, and I love you for it. And I will talk…we'll talk about everything, you and me. Not right now…today…but we'll talk when I get there. I just have a lot on my mind, I promise. It'll all work itself out."

"You're too uptight these days, Blaine. There hasn't been a time when you weren't uptight since high school…back when you spent all your time with—"

"Mom…don't. Please…don't. Not today…not now, I can't…" Blaine trailed off softly, and Pam left it there, hanging in the open. They both knew and it didn't need to be said. Again.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just…you're doing everything I thought you always wanted to do, sweetheart, but I rarely ever see you…happy. Are you happy, Blaine?" Pam asked, genuinely concerned.

Blaine considered his answer before actually speaking, running the events of the past six months through his head on a loop, just like every night before bed, every morning in the shower and every spare moment of the day. Was he happy? He knew the answer without even thinking twice.

"Not really, Mama…but I think I could be. It's time for a change, I think."