To anyone in the room with Deja-vu- this fic has been subbed before, don't worry, you're not going insane... I just fixed a few spelling errors, that's all (and probably missed loads too!) The author's note below is also out of date, in case u were interested...
----------------------------------------
Heya, me again. Yep, I'm still here! Been a while, but here's the order:
UPCOMING PRODUCTS:
Hm/wk Induced Insanity 12 is in a bit of writers block (EEK!!!), but will go on!
The songfic for FFVIII will be done (...eventually....)
Working on a new project "Quistis Trepe- Tomb Raider", which was thought up back in August (!), and is *NOT* a humour fic (shock!). Expect chapter 1 in January. Or March...Or April...
...and a few more I don't wanna mention in case nothing comes of them
HAVE A NICE DAY %)
DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN FFVII OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. SHAME.
Sephiroth- Sucka!
Cloud- Hey!
Sephiroth- What? I just think it's a bit... pathetic, that's all
Cloud- Meanie!
Sephiroth- (rolls eyes) Rinoa possession...
Cloud- EEEKKKK!!!!
Sephiroth- Mwa-ha-ha!
---------
SO NOW WHAT?
A fanfic of indecisiveness
Cloud sat in the small, cramped coffee house overlooking what was left of Midgar. It was a strange place, on a cliff in the middle of nowhere, but no-one seemed to have noticed. It didn't matter. Not to Cloud, who was right now going for the champion cup in the Cupball championships, a world-famous contest. He lined up a sinkline shot that would break the world record 3 times over and have the whole audience cheering- this was his moment, his proclaimed glory! He was a STTAAARRR! Yeah! Pulling his finger back, the audience held their breath as the shot to win the cupball championships became the most momentous occasion in the history of sport due to his...
Earthquake?
Huh?
As Cloud flicked the blue peanut Mn'M the whole table shook, sending the perfectly aimed shot a few metres across the room and straight into the Cappuccino machine
Cloud- Hey!
Barrett- (Stumbles over the table) Bloody no-good piece of crap! (sits down)
C- You messed up my shot, you bastard!
B- Whaaa?
C- For your information, I was about to break a world record for flicking a peanut Mn'M a distance of exactly 0.8m into a paper cup
B- Is there even a record for that?
C- Dunno. There's one for sugar cube towers, so who knows?
B- Hmm. So waddya doin' in a s***house like this?
C- Breaking a world record, till you showed up.
B- Ah.
(Cid + Vincent enter)
Cid- Hiya, suckers!
C+B- Hey Cid.
Ci- (Stops) Man, you look depressed
B- Yeah. Yo never seen an unemployed skint lowlife B4?
C- Now that the game's over, we're officially unemployed
Vincent- (Shrugs) Makes no difference to me. I was unemployed anyway.
Ci- Sucka!
V- ||:( No need to be nasty about it...
Ci- Hmm...
Tifa- So what'll it be,, guys?
B- Hey! Never 'erd you cumin!
Tif- Nah, I work here. After 7th Heaven blew up, I built this place for the surviving regulars.
V- ...who were?...
Tif- You guys
V- Oh
B- So Vince, whadda you gonna do?
V- ...dunno... sleep?
Ci- You and your bloody sleep! Remind me to buy you yellow pyjamas for your birthday
V- Oh dear god, no
Ci- Heh, heh, heh...
V- Red
Ci- Huh?
V- Red pyjamas. Better
Tif- (Oh god, Inter-sequel Fujin possession! It's worse than I thought...)
B- Oh for the love of...
(Aeris and Sephiroth enter)
B- (Points) Hey! You're dead!
Aeris- Yeah the game had no need for us to be dead anymore so now we're... erm...
Sephiroth- Undead
(Aeris sticks her arms out zombie-style and rushes moaning @ Cloud, who shrieks and runs behind Tifa. Aeris pisses herself laughing (not literally))
Ci- Hey, this ain't no f*@!#^g Resident Evil!
(Cait and Yuffie enter)
V- On second thoughts...
Yuffie- Hiya, suckers!
C- Woah! Deja-vu!
Seph- When the world becomes overly repetitive, there's only one thing for it...
Cait- Huh?
(Sephiroth steps back, pulls a small can out from under his cape and, placing his left hand on his hip, tips his head back and drinks, Diet-Coke ad style
Everyone stares.
He lowers the can)
Seph- Sugarside Cola- a different rush every time
B- Huh?
Seph- Yes, you can't beat the rush of Sugarside Cola, voted World's Most Sugary Cola 3 years in a row.
Tif- What the hell was that?
Red XIII- (from under the table where he'd been memorising the entire script of graffiti tags on it whilst snatching Cloud's mis-aimed Mn'M's when no-one was looking) Yes. I thought I was weird, but that just gave weirdness a whole new meaning
Seph- I was just practising for my new job! Advertising Cola.
C- So you're the new PR rep for Sugarside Cola?!
Seph- Yep
C- ...
...
...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
Seph- Hey! With the game over, I gotta get paid somehow
V- True
A- What're you all complaining about? You all got paid 3 times more than me!
B- We did 3 times the work!
A- Hey! How was I to know they'd kill me off @ the end of Disc 1?!!
Yuf- Sucka!
A- Hey! Technically disc 3 was shorter than the others
R- She's right, y'know
Seph- Whaddya mean? Me and J-E-N-O-V-A got our asses kicked! D'ya know how bad the bruises were? I couldn't sit down for a week!
V- What? The script told us to "Beat the living shit out of the OWA". So we did.
Seph- Yeah, but didya HAVE to use Death Gigas? That retard packs one helluva punch!
V- Hmm... authenticity?
Yuf- Ha-ha!
Seph- Hey!
Ci- Hey yeah, what the f@*#'r you smiling about?
Yuf- Well, while you suckers were sitting here on your butts doin nuthin', I got some All Materia and... Hey! This' my super moneysaving idea! Nobody better nick it, y'hear me?!!!
Red- (Looks up from his notebook) Huh?
Cait- Well, Seph's advertising cola, Aeris's alive and Yuffie's on a Materia high, this can only mean one thing... Parrr-tay!!!
(Cait shrieked and started jumping around the room idiotically.
Everyone looks on.
Cait stops.)
Cait- What, it's madness! Shouldn't we all go mad too?
B- You're already nuts
Cait- Point. (begins jumping again.)
(Marlene jumps up from behind the bar onto Mog, knocking Cait off and grabbing Mog's ears as he proceeds to jump)
Marlene- Yay! Space Hopper!
Cait- Ow!
C- Hah! That's the funniest thing I've seen all day!
B- Really?
Tif- Yeah. Funnier than Sephiroth's cola ad, though that was just scary
Seph- Scary? How dare you!
Tif- Oh, give it up! It was like you were saying "Buy this cola or I'll burn all your first-born children with Meteor! Mwaaa-haa-haa-ha!"
Seph- (Looks thoughtful) I LIKE that! (Swipes Red's notebook) Could you repeat that, please?
Yuf- (Rolls eyes) Oh brother...
C- Y'know, if he used that to sell cola, I just might buy some...
V- But you don't HAVE any first-born children
Tif- ... UNLESS there's SOMETHING you're not TELLING us...
(Aeris gives Cloud an evil look)
C- But all the Mwa-ha-haaing was just sooo cool!
Ci- True...
Yuf- Y'know, no-one's enough of a total sucker to fall for that ploy! I mean, you'd have to be a real dumbassed sucky suck of a sucker to fall for THAT crap!
(Barrett enters with 7 6-packs of cans)
B- Don't worry Marlene, Daddy's coming
(All stare in silence)
Seph- Hah! Success will be mine! MWA-HA-HA-HA!
Tif- A-HEM!
Seph- oh... um... I mean mine! All mine!
Tif- (Stares)
Seph- (quietly + quickly) due to Tifa's input
Tif- (Nods) That's better
Ci- SUE! SUE FOR COPYRIGHT!!!
C- And give the money to me!
(All stare)
Ci- Ah, he'd only use it to fuel his gambling problem!
C- I do not have a gambling problem!
Ci- Yeah, ya do!
C- No, I don't!
Ci- You lost 8000g playing Chocobo Hot n' Cold!
C- THAT'S NOT EVEN IN THIS GAME!!!
Ci- ...Oops, my bad
C- And for your information... I went to the races 2 times, okay? 2. And one of those, I was riding. Gonzo was there! He saw it!
(All look @ Gonzo, the Blue river Chocobo)
Gonzo- WAAAAARRRRKKK!!!
C- See?
Ci- Hmp...
Cait- Hey! Excuse me! I was there too, dumbass!
(All look @ Cait)
C- And I was only there twice, right?
Cait- Yep. Once for 10hrs, and again racing to pay off the debts
C- (Rolls eyes) Gee, thanks Cait, nice'ta know I can count on you
Cait- (Oblivious) Thanks bud, anytime!
C- I was being sarCASTIC!
---------------------
And cos I've run out of ideas, here's what happened next...
Tifa ran her new bar for a total of 2 weeks, at which point it was crushed by a pizza thrown from the window of a Hyperactive alien's spaceship at 60000 feet, and the GPE was enough to crush it. Feeling sorry for her, the Hyperactive alien offered to help her, and they are now business partners at "Not-So-Rotting-Pizzas", Midgar branch.
Vincent offered to be a delivery guy for Tifa's pizzas, except he keeps falling asleep @ the wheel. They now have a new slogan- "If deliveries take longer than 1/2 hr think yourself lucky- at least it ain't spread on the A2!"
Barrett's still drinking cola. He got an award for Bulk buying from Sugarside, and he now works as their mascot- Sugarman Barrett
His career a success, Sephiroth moved into movies. After getting bored of Action, he tried starring as the guy in "Six Days, Seven Nights", but when he threw his co-star off a reasonably high cliff, decided it wasn't for him. Meanwhile, "Meteor Man V" is released in cinemas nation-wide next Monday.
Aeris has a new contract with Capcom and is the new star of "Resident Evil 457- When Zombies Go Good"
Meanwhile, Cait got an idea after the Space-Hopper incident, and runs a bouncing taxi cab around Junon. I hear it's quite popular with traffic calming... 5 car pile-ups help to keep our roads traffic-free!
Yuffie carried out her All Materia plan and got rich. She owns the Mansion in the Costa-Del-Sol, and has one of the Worlds Best Collections of Materia. Whether they were obtained legally or not is a different matter...
Cid joined the "Hell's Angels" and bikes around the world. Problem is the people of Rocket Town get VERY pissed when he brings his buddies over to visit...
The one remaining Mn'M that everyone was too polite to take still sits on the cliff overlooking Midgar.
Red contemplates returning to claim it.
****
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world...
"Hi, my name is Cloud, and I have a problem..."
---------------
So whadduya think? Review, flame, whatever! And yes, I really did lose 8000g playing Chocobo Hot n' Cold. Or was it 600g? I forget...
----------------------------------------
Heya, me again. Yep, I'm still here! Been a while, but here's the order:
UPCOMING PRODUCTS:
Hm/wk Induced Insanity 12 is in a bit of writers block (EEK!!!), but will go on!
The songfic for FFVIII will be done (...eventually....)
Working on a new project "Quistis Trepe- Tomb Raider", which was thought up back in August (!), and is *NOT* a humour fic (shock!). Expect chapter 1 in January. Or March...Or April...
...and a few more I don't wanna mention in case nothing comes of them
HAVE A NICE DAY %)
DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN FFVII OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. SHAME.
Sephiroth- Sucka!
Cloud- Hey!
Sephiroth- What? I just think it's a bit... pathetic, that's all
Cloud- Meanie!
Sephiroth- (rolls eyes) Rinoa possession...
Cloud- EEEKKKK!!!!
Sephiroth- Mwa-ha-ha!
---------
SO NOW WHAT?
A fanfic of indecisiveness
Cloud sat in the small, cramped coffee house overlooking what was left of Midgar. It was a strange place, on a cliff in the middle of nowhere, but no-one seemed to have noticed. It didn't matter. Not to Cloud, who was right now going for the champion cup in the Cupball championships, a world-famous contest. He lined up a sinkline shot that would break the world record 3 times over and have the whole audience cheering- this was his moment, his proclaimed glory! He was a STTAAARRR! Yeah! Pulling his finger back, the audience held their breath as the shot to win the cupball championships became the most momentous occasion in the history of sport due to his...
Earthquake?
Huh?
As Cloud flicked the blue peanut Mn'M the whole table shook, sending the perfectly aimed shot a few metres across the room and straight into the Cappuccino machine
Cloud- Hey!
Barrett- (Stumbles over the table) Bloody no-good piece of crap! (sits down)
C- You messed up my shot, you bastard!
B- Whaaa?
C- For your information, I was about to break a world record for flicking a peanut Mn'M a distance of exactly 0.8m into a paper cup
B- Is there even a record for that?
C- Dunno. There's one for sugar cube towers, so who knows?
B- Hmm. So waddya doin' in a s***house like this?
C- Breaking a world record, till you showed up.
B- Ah.
(Cid + Vincent enter)
Cid- Hiya, suckers!
C+B- Hey Cid.
Ci- (Stops) Man, you look depressed
B- Yeah. Yo never seen an unemployed skint lowlife B4?
C- Now that the game's over, we're officially unemployed
Vincent- (Shrugs) Makes no difference to me. I was unemployed anyway.
Ci- Sucka!
V- ||:( No need to be nasty about it...
Ci- Hmm...
Tifa- So what'll it be,, guys?
B- Hey! Never 'erd you cumin!
Tif- Nah, I work here. After 7th Heaven blew up, I built this place for the surviving regulars.
V- ...who were?...
Tif- You guys
V- Oh
B- So Vince, whadda you gonna do?
V- ...dunno... sleep?
Ci- You and your bloody sleep! Remind me to buy you yellow pyjamas for your birthday
V- Oh dear god, no
Ci- Heh, heh, heh...
V- Red
Ci- Huh?
V- Red pyjamas. Better
Tif- (Oh god, Inter-sequel Fujin possession! It's worse than I thought...)
B- Oh for the love of...
(Aeris and Sephiroth enter)
B- (Points) Hey! You're dead!
Aeris- Yeah the game had no need for us to be dead anymore so now we're... erm...
Sephiroth- Undead
(Aeris sticks her arms out zombie-style and rushes moaning @ Cloud, who shrieks and runs behind Tifa. Aeris pisses herself laughing (not literally))
Ci- Hey, this ain't no f*@!#^g Resident Evil!
(Cait and Yuffie enter)
V- On second thoughts...
Yuffie- Hiya, suckers!
C- Woah! Deja-vu!
Seph- When the world becomes overly repetitive, there's only one thing for it...
Cait- Huh?
(Sephiroth steps back, pulls a small can out from under his cape and, placing his left hand on his hip, tips his head back and drinks, Diet-Coke ad style
Everyone stares.
He lowers the can)
Seph- Sugarside Cola- a different rush every time
B- Huh?
Seph- Yes, you can't beat the rush of Sugarside Cola, voted World's Most Sugary Cola 3 years in a row.
Tif- What the hell was that?
Red XIII- (from under the table where he'd been memorising the entire script of graffiti tags on it whilst snatching Cloud's mis-aimed Mn'M's when no-one was looking) Yes. I thought I was weird, but that just gave weirdness a whole new meaning
Seph- I was just practising for my new job! Advertising Cola.
C- So you're the new PR rep for Sugarside Cola?!
Seph- Yep
C- ...
...
...HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
Seph- Hey! With the game over, I gotta get paid somehow
V- True
A- What're you all complaining about? You all got paid 3 times more than me!
B- We did 3 times the work!
A- Hey! How was I to know they'd kill me off @ the end of Disc 1?!!
Yuf- Sucka!
A- Hey! Technically disc 3 was shorter than the others
R- She's right, y'know
Seph- Whaddya mean? Me and J-E-N-O-V-A got our asses kicked! D'ya know how bad the bruises were? I couldn't sit down for a week!
V- What? The script told us to "Beat the living shit out of the OWA". So we did.
Seph- Yeah, but didya HAVE to use Death Gigas? That retard packs one helluva punch!
V- Hmm... authenticity?
Yuf- Ha-ha!
Seph- Hey!
Ci- Hey yeah, what the f@*#'r you smiling about?
Yuf- Well, while you suckers were sitting here on your butts doin nuthin', I got some All Materia and... Hey! This' my super moneysaving idea! Nobody better nick it, y'hear me?!!!
Red- (Looks up from his notebook) Huh?
Cait- Well, Seph's advertising cola, Aeris's alive and Yuffie's on a Materia high, this can only mean one thing... Parrr-tay!!!
(Cait shrieked and started jumping around the room idiotically.
Everyone looks on.
Cait stops.)
Cait- What, it's madness! Shouldn't we all go mad too?
B- You're already nuts
Cait- Point. (begins jumping again.)
(Marlene jumps up from behind the bar onto Mog, knocking Cait off and grabbing Mog's ears as he proceeds to jump)
Marlene- Yay! Space Hopper!
Cait- Ow!
C- Hah! That's the funniest thing I've seen all day!
B- Really?
Tif- Yeah. Funnier than Sephiroth's cola ad, though that was just scary
Seph- Scary? How dare you!
Tif- Oh, give it up! It was like you were saying "Buy this cola or I'll burn all your first-born children with Meteor! Mwaaa-haa-haa-ha!"
Seph- (Looks thoughtful) I LIKE that! (Swipes Red's notebook) Could you repeat that, please?
Yuf- (Rolls eyes) Oh brother...
C- Y'know, if he used that to sell cola, I just might buy some...
V- But you don't HAVE any first-born children
Tif- ... UNLESS there's SOMETHING you're not TELLING us...
(Aeris gives Cloud an evil look)
C- But all the Mwa-ha-haaing was just sooo cool!
Ci- True...
Yuf- Y'know, no-one's enough of a total sucker to fall for that ploy! I mean, you'd have to be a real dumbassed sucky suck of a sucker to fall for THAT crap!
(Barrett enters with 7 6-packs of cans)
B- Don't worry Marlene, Daddy's coming
(All stare in silence)
Seph- Hah! Success will be mine! MWA-HA-HA-HA!
Tif- A-HEM!
Seph- oh... um... I mean mine! All mine!
Tif- (Stares)
Seph- (quietly + quickly) due to Tifa's input
Tif- (Nods) That's better
Ci- SUE! SUE FOR COPYRIGHT!!!
C- And give the money to me!
(All stare)
Ci- Ah, he'd only use it to fuel his gambling problem!
C- I do not have a gambling problem!
Ci- Yeah, ya do!
C- No, I don't!
Ci- You lost 8000g playing Chocobo Hot n' Cold!
C- THAT'S NOT EVEN IN THIS GAME!!!
Ci- ...Oops, my bad
C- And for your information... I went to the races 2 times, okay? 2. And one of those, I was riding. Gonzo was there! He saw it!
(All look @ Gonzo, the Blue river Chocobo)
Gonzo- WAAAAARRRRKKK!!!
C- See?
Ci- Hmp...
Cait- Hey! Excuse me! I was there too, dumbass!
(All look @ Cait)
C- And I was only there twice, right?
Cait- Yep. Once for 10hrs, and again racing to pay off the debts
C- (Rolls eyes) Gee, thanks Cait, nice'ta know I can count on you
Cait- (Oblivious) Thanks bud, anytime!
C- I was being sarCASTIC!
---------------------
And cos I've run out of ideas, here's what happened next...
Tifa ran her new bar for a total of 2 weeks, at which point it was crushed by a pizza thrown from the window of a Hyperactive alien's spaceship at 60000 feet, and the GPE was enough to crush it. Feeling sorry for her, the Hyperactive alien offered to help her, and they are now business partners at "Not-So-Rotting-Pizzas", Midgar branch.
Vincent offered to be a delivery guy for Tifa's pizzas, except he keeps falling asleep @ the wheel. They now have a new slogan- "If deliveries take longer than 1/2 hr think yourself lucky- at least it ain't spread on the A2!"
Barrett's still drinking cola. He got an award for Bulk buying from Sugarside, and he now works as their mascot- Sugarman Barrett
His career a success, Sephiroth moved into movies. After getting bored of Action, he tried starring as the guy in "Six Days, Seven Nights", but when he threw his co-star off a reasonably high cliff, decided it wasn't for him. Meanwhile, "Meteor Man V" is released in cinemas nation-wide next Monday.
Aeris has a new contract with Capcom and is the new star of "Resident Evil 457- When Zombies Go Good"
Meanwhile, Cait got an idea after the Space-Hopper incident, and runs a bouncing taxi cab around Junon. I hear it's quite popular with traffic calming... 5 car pile-ups help to keep our roads traffic-free!
Yuffie carried out her All Materia plan and got rich. She owns the Mansion in the Costa-Del-Sol, and has one of the Worlds Best Collections of Materia. Whether they were obtained legally or not is a different matter...
Cid joined the "Hell's Angels" and bikes around the world. Problem is the people of Rocket Town get VERY pissed when he brings his buddies over to visit...
The one remaining Mn'M that everyone was too polite to take still sits on the cliff overlooking Midgar.
Red contemplates returning to claim it.
****
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world...
"Hi, my name is Cloud, and I have a problem..."
---------------
So whadduya think? Review, flame, whatever! And yes, I really did lose 8000g playing Chocobo Hot n' Cold. Or was it 600g? I forget...