AN: Hey peoples! It's me! Yey! This is a one shot that me and XxXLaliceXxX come up with. It's hiwawious (Lalice's word. No one is aloud to use it. Lalice's rules!)! Review if you think this is funny! We came up with this while Lalice and I where cooking noodles. Lalice said something funny and I thought of Emmett so we decided to write this for you. A little bit of Sparko magic too! Enjoy! Hope you fall off your chair laughing (make sure the chair isn't on a tile floor. That could hurt)! We want to dedicate this story to ...(drum roll please)...NOODLES for being so freakishly noodlish and stringy! I love you noodles!
Disclaimer: This would be in Twilight if I owned it. Do I see any chapters with Emmett and noodles involved in Twilight? No. So that answers your questions.
XxCiaraxX and XxXLaliceXxX
One-shot No. 1- Noodles!
"Emmett, Bella will be waking up in a minute!" Alice yelled at a video game playing Emmett. "Esme and Edward are the only ones who know how to cook. So you and me, my friend, will be taking over. Now, do you know anything about cooking?" Emmett rubbed his chin and looked deep in thought for a second.
"Nope" he said, popping the 'p'. "Nothing. Nil. Zilch. Faic(AN: If your wondering, faic is Irish for nothing , back to you Emmett). You?"
"Nothing either. Hey what are we going to cook?"
"Em...em...em...Noodles!"
"Noodles Emmett? For breakfast?"
"Yes. Don't question the power of the noodles. Did you know that they are stringy?"
"Actually, I didn't know that. How do you cook them?"
"Throw them in a bowl and put them in front of her."
"Emmett, I think we have to cook them."
"No you don't. Don't question my smarticullness."
"Smarticullness?"
"Yes. You like?"
"Emmett you really don't want me to answer that. Now let's go."
"Does that mean a yes?"
"Come on Emmett." Alice pulled him by his ear into the kitchen.
"Ha! Told you that you had to cook them!" Alice said, jumping up and down with delight because she was right.
"Shut up" Emmett said, clearly peeved.
"Ha! I was right! You were Wrong! Ha, ha ,ha, ha, ha! Listen to my song!"
"Your just jealous!"
"Why would I be jealous of you!"
"Because I'm not a short stump like you!"
"Well, I'm not a idiot like you!"
"Hey! Don't make fun of my smartness!"
"Don't make fun of me because I'm small! Now lets get it ready before Bella wakes up!" Alice went into the press and took out a pot. Emmett opened the packet and poured it into the pot.
"What do we do now?" Emmett asked, completely clueless.
"What does it say on the packet?" Alice said. Emmett picked up the packet and looked at the instructions.
"Pour wa...wa...wat...watr...wate"
"Water Emmett. Water."
"Yeah, that thing you said into the pot with the...noodles? Why water?"
"I don't know. Just do it!" Emmett poured the cold water in.
"Emmett, it says here to put hot water in with it" Alice told him.
"Oh, what do we do now?" Emmett asked.
"I don't know, start over again?"
30 minutes. That's how long it took them to do the easiest part- put the noodles and the hot water together in the pot.
"What do we do now?" Alice asked, wiping the sweat off her forehead.
"Em, Alice, I kinda threw the instructions in the bin" Emmett said, looking nervous.
"Oh, well we'll have to improvise. I think we turn this button on..." She approached the button, her hand outstretched.
"NOOO! DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON ALICE" Emmett shouted in slow motion.
"Why?''
"Mom said only her and Eddie can touch that button."
"But this is an emergency Emmett."
"How?"
"Bella needs food." She pressed the button.
"AHHHH!" she screamed.
"What is it Alice?" Emmett asked running to her side.
"It...flashed at me and said...ready to...cook."
"It's okay Alice. It won't attack us. It's just a hunk of junk. What do we do next?"
"I think we put the pot on one of them circles." She picked the pot up and put it on a circle.
One hour later...
"Nothing has happened Alice. There not cooking." Emmett said. He was banging his head against the wall.
"I know why!" Alice squealed. " I have to press this button!"
"NOO! That button is worse than the last one!"
"Emmett get over it."
"No! Alice, last time I pressed it I almost burnt the house down. You were on a hunting trip and didn't see."
"That's why the kitchen looked different when I came back... I'm still pressing it." She pressed the button before he could say anything.
"What do we do now?"
"Die noodles! Die!" Emmett was screaming while stabbing a fork into the noodles. "Alice, they won't die."
Alice was watching Emmett, afraid to touch the noodles. The water started to bubble.
"Alice!" Emmett shouted as he ducked behind her and clutched her legs. "There coming to life! Stop them Alice! Help!"
"I can't see there future!" she yelled. "There blocking me! There know we're not mortal! Only if Edward was here! He could read their minds and find out their evil plots of killing us!"
Emmett and Alice at this stage where curled up in a ball under the table, watching the noodles.
"I don't want to die Alice" Emmett cried.
"Neither do I" Alice cried.
"Alice, I want to tell you something before I die. Your shopping obsession was not normal."
"I have something to tell you too. I always thought that you needed to go to a mental asylum."
They rocked each other back and fort as the watched the noddles come to life. Just then Bella walked in.
" Oh great noddles" Bella said. "Oh and there just about ready."
She got a fork and ate one.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Alice and Emmett shouted in unison.
"My god she's going to die" Emmett shouted."EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!".
"I can't see their future" Alice yelled.
Edward suddenly came out of nowhere.
"What happened" He asked.
"She ate our cooking" Emmett cried.
"Oh NO Bella" Edward was worrying now."Do you fell okay. She's dieing she's dieing!!!.CARLISLE!!!!!".
"What is it Edward" Carlisle said coming out of nowhere.
"She ate there cooking."
"OH NO OH NO NO NO. Bella to my office now" Carlisle ordered.
"There coming to life Carlisle" Emmett screamed."There coming to life. There starting to bubble".
Bella started laughing. Everyone looked at her as if she had two heads.
"What's so funny Bella" Emmett asked.
"You...thought...that...they...were...coming...to...life" She gasped in between laughs.
"There are Bella" Emmett cried. "They started to bubble."
"No Emmett" Bella said, shaking her head at his stupidity. "That means that they are cooked."
Emmett sighed in relief.
"Well now that we have that sorted, why don't we all watch a movie" Carlisle suggested.
"I'll make popcorn!" Emmett squealed.
"NOOO!" they all said in unison.
Alice was still curled up under the table. She was completely oblivious to her surroundings. She was thinking about how the noodles where blocking her.
"I still can't see their future!"
AN: Hope you liked our first one-shot! I hope you laughed lot! Mhawah! This is Ciara and Lalice signing! Back to you random person!
XxCiaraxX and XxXLaliceXxX!