A/N It's a sequel of the 'Last ones to know', story I wrote long long time ago. Golden Trio ROMANCE- if you don't like it, don't read. Sorry for any irritating mistakes I might have made. The three parts are situated in different time periods during and post Second War against Voldemort. A court hearing, a self involved confession and an interview.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, like my friend Luna says, love has multiple forms. I have never ever expected to meet it in that form. But in the end there aren't many thing that are the way they are supposed to be, are there? My life's been far from usual though most people see me as the eternal side kick. I somehow ended up married to my two best friends who I met when I was eleven years old. Well, that's twisted, you'd say. You'd probably be right. But before sentence me please hear my point of view.
But if you want to hear how I had a funny feeling in my stomach the first time I saw Harry in Express Hogwarts, how I fancied Hermione since the first glimpse of her, how the three of us sneaked out in night during our first year to make out, how we lost our virginities together during the third year and how we shagged constantly during the sixth year, it's not gonna happen, ok? It's not true! I'm raised by a rather conservative family and I assure you homosexuality or three ways or anything like that wasn't looked on with good eye. Actually like many wizard families we pretended that things beyond 'normal' didn't happen. So it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to me to confront a situation like the one I got myself into. Whatever happened between Harry, Hermione and me happened later, during the War. We were all adults more or less. To one extend Ginny is right that it's due to extreme pressure and isolation. I don't know if any of it would happen if we hadn't lived on the edge for months not knowing whether our loved ones are alive or dead, whether we'd be alive or dead the next day. The shadow of Voldemort was raised on the wizard world and the fear was suffocating. The whole cat and mouse game was driving us insane and may be it did a little. I personally did some things I'm not particularly proud of. Leaving my friends in a hard moment for example.
Well I guess it all begun when I come back to Harry and Hermione. Hermione was furious naturally. Thank Merlin she didn't have her wand otherwise I'd probably be torn in pieces. She tried though, even without magic. She pounced upon me, hitting me wherever she could reach. Never ever underestimate the strength of an angry woman, gentlemen of the jury, it's a big mistake. After some pitiful cries from me Harry quitted rummaging for the only wand in the place and rushed toward us. He tried to pull her away but she was just too rabid, tossing and waving her fists. I managed to catch her wrists as gently as possible and in the struggle the three of us got on our knees. Hermione's breathing got ragged and she bowed her head, Harry was holding her through the waist and I got a grip of her wrists. She was almost immobilized. I thought how she looked like a wild animal taken captive but then I saw tears rolling down her face. I wanted to say something but my lips couldn't move. I searched Harry's eyes for help but he looked as puzzled as me. We both loosened our grips a little, staring dully. What idiots we were!
"I… uh…just can't…my God" Hermione sobbed "Can't stand it anymore… I thought I've lost you… I was losing both of you"
She raised her reddish eyes towards me, her hair falling in front of her face, and I just stayed there frozen to the marrow of my bones. A wave of shame poured over me and I realized I've let go her wrists but she wasn't hitting me. Harry also withdrew and sat on the tent floor. I almost expected him to punch me for her but he too stared at Hermione like he hadn't seen her before. None of us dared to touch her or say anything; we watched her sob like a pair of absolute morons. We both wanted to comfort her but none of us knew how. Then as suddenly as before she pulled both of us in a tight embrace. "My idiots" she whispered. I hate how she's right all the time.
I don't know how long we stayed that way, ladies and gentlemen, but eventually Hermione calmed down. Feeling my friends' warmth was so comforting, I almost believed that if we stayed that way everything would be ok, someone else would kill Voldemort and none of us would need to worry about anything never again. We didn't talk, we didn't look at each other there was no need to; we moved occasionally to make ourselves more comfortable. We drifted off after a while, I guess. I woke up in one of the beds (where I have no idea how we got in) sometime after sunrise. I felt only one person by my side. When I opened my eyes I saw Harry's sleeping face. I tensed under the covers and tried to move away instinctively; a bit of homophobia I admit. I didn't want to wake Harry but with my every movement he pulled me in a tighter embrace. Then Hermione came with three cups of hot black coffee. Somehow she had managed to make a perfect breakfast that morning and you know what effect on men, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, has the food.
Since then the three of us slept in the same bed almost every night. While one was on guard the others was sleeping in each other's arms. At least at the begging there was nothing sexual in this act, only comfort, safety and hope. Like new born twins, you know their physical closeness give them strength. I realized I wasn't jealous looking at Harry and Hermione together and the intimacy with my best male friend wasn't making me as uncomfortable as it had been.
So that's how it all started, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It sounds a bit cheesy probably but I can't explain it better. You can't understand how closer people can get under the pressure and solitude of a run-away resistance to a dictate.
OoOoOoO
Although Ron is rather defensive he's right. This is how it began. And it's pretty much how it ended too. After the War we broke off our secret relation on a mutual agreement. The post war world hit us like a sudden very bright light in the dark of the night. Returning to civilian life wasn't as easy as I have thought.
In the end of the Final Battle, I was a hero; a real one who has actually done something besides surviving a curse in his early childhood. I remember the way everyone looked at me when I walked in the Great Hall where they had gathered to dress their wounds or to mourn their losses. I have imagined that scene so often over the years; I've thought the feeling would be incredible. I've been an idiot; such a childish illusion. It was frightening, all these tearful tormented eyes full of expectation fixed on me. I felt guilt for putting them through all that, yet there was confusion about what they wanted from me. I had done what I was expected to do, what now? May be for the first time I realized what I was- a 17 years old kid who by chance had saved the wizard world. I felt weak and tired. I felt old. Ron and Hermione were by my sides and I squeezed their hands in mines. Then the reality invaded. Actually it was Ginny who swooped on me, hugging me tightly. At the same time Mrs. Weasley pulled Ron into a suffocating embrace and some people were getting to Hermione too. We were split apart.
That way it remained afterwards. More or less people were leaving Ron and Hermione alone because rumors about their relationship were flowing around for a long time. But I was in the spotlight. However…I started dating Ginny. She's very nice girl and I know she loves me and I am not entirely indifferent after all. I want you to know I never lied to her or cheated on her in any way. Ron and Hermione are officially together so they can do whatever they want but the three of us… it's an entirely different story. Even though the longing for my two friends remains, sometimes it is faint burning in my chest. In these moments I can imagine it was all an insane dream caused by the link between me and Voldemort and the three of us are only friends and that's all we want to be. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. But we never acted on our urge again.
I think if we didn't have the desperate need of each other we would drift apart because of the tension. But we can't lose the mere acts of friendship we still have. We take that liberty only in someone else's presence. When the three of us are alone we're so stiffed we barely move. The uncomfortable silence can kill. In private we hardly look at each other because we don't know if we begin will we be able to stop. So we avoid this kind of tempting situations as much as possible.
When there is someone else in the room it's ok. It would even be suspicious if we don't show any signs of affection. As it's told the road is clear only behind the enemy. Not that there is an actual 'enemy', it's only a proverb. In someone's presence we can talk untroubled and laugh at our little jokes. I can tap Ron on the shoulder leaving my hand just a second longer than I should. I can hug Hermione; even kiss her on the cheek. I can hug Ron once in a while. They kiss sometimes in public which is not really Hermione's way of doing it. She really dislikes publicity but they're supposed to be in a relationship after all. I like seeing them like this; at least part of our relationship still exists in theirs.
That's the way I live. It's been two years already. For two years I stare, like a child at expensive shop window, at something that I want but can never have. But it's fine. It really is. I kiss Ginny and I'm glad that at least she is happy.
OoOoOoO
"I never expected my boys to be so fair spoken. Years spent with me had had some effect, didn't they? I'm just kidding, they have their own styles.
However, my part of the tale to tell is the hardest for me. I guess each one of us tells what has been the hardest for him in our unusual relationship. I realize Ron's inner battle in the begging was the hardest for him. The prejudice and taboos deep rooted for ages aren't easy to overcome. His inner jury is his worst nightmare. Harry's years of solitude, pretending to be the perfect role model- brave hero, loving boyfriend- they wanted him to be, must have been horrible to him. So my hardest thing was coming out. I know Ron's family is conservative and includes Harry's ex-girlfriend, but for some reason I was the one with nervous breakdown. I understand everybody's reaction, because I agree with them this thing I have with my friends is wicked and disgusting. And I can't help it. You know how a guy sleeping with more than one girl at a time is playboy and a girl sleeping with more than one guy is a whore. I realize, at least my brain realizes, that something went wrong with us during our exile during the War. What we did, 'ménage à trois' on emotional level as well as physical contradicts human nature. In muggle psychology it would be called post-traumatic stress even acquired autism because our interpersonal skills were damaged. I'm not sure what it is but I know it's chronic now.
Let me get it clear how we got to 'coming out'. It was couple of weeks, may be a month, after celebrating two years since Voldemort's fall. Ron and I lived together though I don't know how I can describe our relations. I simply won't. One evening Harry came to our place. He was alone. It's wasn't a planned visit which was unusual, we tried to avoid these situations. He apparently had walked in the heavy rain without noticing it because he was soaked to his bones. His face was blank like the one of a person in shock. Needless to say something wasn't right. He stayed at the door numb and silent, not moving, not speaking, nothing.
"Come in" I tried to act normal. Harry did literally two steps forward and remained still. I just close the door and looked at him questioningly.
"Ginny broke up with me" he mumbled after a few minutes. My mouth formed an O.
"I'm sorry" I said at last and rubbed slowly his arm, trying to be the friend he needed. "Sit down, Harry, I'll get you some tea and you can borrow some of Ron's clothes, you're soaked" I bubbled and bustled around like I always do under pressure.
"What's up?" Ron come in. I explained him the situation and he sat on the couch beside Harry "Sorry, mate" he said and patted him on the knee.
That night we stayed in the living room, talking, nothing happened. Sorry to disappoint but there was no 'free at last' sex marathon. This is not what we are about. We didn't sleep that night and spent as friends. Like the fallowing ones. But before we realized it Harry lived with us. The rest is history and I won't share with you the details and the personal stuff.
The coming out of the closet itself happened the fallowing Christmas at the Borrow. You know the story from Ginny's, George's and… my God… Mrs. Weasley's point of view. What happened wasn't pretty and it's totally our fault. It wasn't the way we wanted them to know and so soon (six months) after Ginny and Harry's break up. The day was terrible for all of us. I honestly wanted to die; I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I was petrified and apparently hadn't been moving for a long time because around noon Fred came to me. He lifted with a brusque movement the sheet under which I had curled and asked me if I were ok. If I were ok, imagine! He had a red patch on his face. Later I find out that Mrs. Weasley had hit him with a hot potato. Then he said something I… well I have never heard anything smarter coming from either of twins' mouths.
"Hermione, except if you starve yourself to death, there's no chance for you to die here, so I suggest you to come downstairs and to join the fun. It's Christmas after all." He grinned and no, this isn't what I was talking about "Dad will give a lecture about how to be open minded, mum screams like mad; Ginny will vomit in 10 minutes… Yes, it's hellish. But you've done nothing wrong, Hermione, at least not particularly. Yes, mum and dad will need time to accept it, Ginny will need some Anti Puking Pastilles…" he probably noticed that I was about to puke on him too"but the rest of us find it hilarious. Actually you've done us a favor; you have no idea how much fun of Ronnie we can make now. You need to stop worrying, Hermione, you cannot please everyone. Now get up and stand for yourself and your boy toys! I promise not to let mum strangle you but I still recommend you to get some clothes on because even though I do, mum might not enjoy the view of your naked body so much"
Suddenly I realized I was still naked and wrapped the sheet around myself as fast and as tight as I could. I listened to Fred and did go downstairs. I received an unexpected fatherly hug from Mr. Weasley and apologizing smile from Bill who was buttoning Victoire's coat. Terrible noises of crushing furniture and smothered glass were coming from the kitchen. I took a very deep breath and went in. Mrs. Weasley was a fury; the twins circled in big orbits around her not daring to come closer waving limbs which I figured wasn't very helpful.
"Mrs. Weasley" I tried but she didn't seem to hear me "Mrs. Weasley…"
"WHAT HAVE I GIVEN BIRTH TO!" she screamed "FREAKS! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SHAME? ANY RESPECT TO YOUR PARENTS' HOME? HOW DARE YOU TO BRING HERE YOUR SICK…"
"Mrs. Weasley!" I raised my voice. I only got a negative nod from George in whose eyes I saw respect and even admiration. Mrs. Weasley wasn't used to be interrupted while raving so I concentrated and yelled with as much respect as possible "MOLLY!" She indeed stopped but now her shining with rage stare was fixed on me. The twins looked at me in disbelieve, Mr. Weasley, Fleur, Ron and Harry stormed in. "I'm sorry you had to find out that way." I begun "And I'm sorry we didn't treated your home with the respect it deserves." She opened her mouth to say something but I raised my hand to stop her. Ironically I thought of Dumbledore doing the same to handle rough situations. Still I was trembling inside and my voice got hoarse from the effort not to shake. "Can we talk calmly?"
Despite all the terrified faces Mrs. Weasley just winced and said "O-ok". I couldn't believe no one had tried this move. I took her to the other room and we talked, mostly I did, but we kind of worked it out. When you live with seven men who mostly fear you, you forget how it works. In the end we were both crying but Mrs. Weasley promised me to try to accept us. Meanwhile we would be subtle and not showing off too much.
So, that's it. That's all you're allowed to write, Rita, nothing else. No exaggerations and if I see a sole thing not matching what I just said you, I'll turn you back into beetle."
"Oh, c'mon, Mrs. Potter-Weasley… however you're called now… What did you tell the crazy mother-in-low?"
"I strictly forbid to call her that and I'm not gonna tell you. Let your readers use their imaginations."
"Only a hint? Or a kiss between the three of you maybe?"
"That's all you got. Don't even try to make up some making out scene because I'll get you before your nasty quill reach the parchment. "
"Huh, don't worry with that Veritae Spell you put on me I can't even paint in brighter colors what you said. What's the conclusion? What do you want readers to remember?"
"Love is beautiful no matter what form it takes. Let it be."