Author's Note: Hello, readers! I've decided to start another humor based series about Kuja. This was inspired reading eilie277's FF7 LiveJournal fic, which I found highly amusing. If you like this, I'm sure you'll find that one funny also. (/praises)
Disclaimer: It isn't like that I own LiveJournal or FF9… No, they belong to their respective owners. Sigh.
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A Drama King's LiveJournal
By: PsychDragoonX
Original Concept: Unknown, read Author's Note
Post I: Dammit!
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Welcome to LiveJournal, FeatherMage! We are so happy that you decided to join us and start telling everyone about your life! And –click-
Entry: March 12, 2006
Curse the gods
Hello, my name is Kuja, and I am posting on LiveJournal. I'm sure there's a support group for this kind of trauma. If so, that sentence goes out to them and please email me some contact information. My psychiatrist lacks the necessary intelligence to handle the permanent effects of this.
…But if there is a support group on this site, I will kill someone. Namely, the one who forced me into doing this.
Who, you ask? His name is Kefka. I lost a bet considering who could take over the world the quickest. …I'd prefer not to go into detail regarding the fact that I lost. The consequence was to start a LiveJournal. That psychotic freak with the fake feathers. And I'm as surprised as when Zidane found out our lineage when I discovered there are indeed computers with internet access in the afterlife.
I may occasionally throw tidbits of my REAL journal (the one I had that I documented IRL – Oh look! The mandatory internet acronym. Please, die) here and there, just to produce drama. I'm a drama whore like that.
I'll be dammed if anyone reads this.
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COMMENTS:
1: Masamune4eva:
Ha ha ha ha, loser!
REPLY:
Oh, you. –yawn- Don't you have Cloud to fuck or something? I hate you. Are aren't allowed on my friend list.
…Did I actually just say that?
2: Cloud9:
? What do you mean, Sephiroth "fucking" me!
REPLY:
Oh you pitiful blonde. To fuck is to have sex and/or have some sort of fetish with. I KNOW with your two ever-compensating swords and his leather "Flowers for 1 gil – Other Services for 1 gil" outfit, you two have some chemistry… Keeheeheehee…
3: Masamune4eva:
WHAT! I DO NOT LIKE HIM!
REPLY:
Oh, yes. Thank you for making that observation of my mistake. I meant to say that you love him.
4: UWEE666:
Uwee hee hee hee! I won! I won! I won! LOOSA!
REPLY:
Why do you type like that? Oh yes. It's because that you have such a case with pyrophillia, you became too stupid to make comprehensible language.
5: SexyGenome17:
Hey Kuja! Heh, so you finally got an account? Listen, there's this one site I think you should check out… check your email.
REPLY:
-Checks email- …Oh my god.