"Ugh, crap, my back went out… again, hmm!" Deidara grumbled. He was currently sitting on his worn out couch, eating some explosive bakudan while watching an old pottery channel he used to watch when he was 19 years old. Now this 79 year old Deidara spends his days as a lazy couch potato. Yeah his life sucked. How much he wished he could go back to his young days when he could see his beautiful art everyday and watch everyone be blown away. Yeah, good times. But he was much too old now, and using just the smallest amount of his chakara would put too much strain on his heart.
Bored out of his mind, he decided to take a little walk. When he got outside, Deidara noticed stacks of mail on his front steps, must have been from days of staying inside. He picked up the letter from the very top after some painful cracking of the back, and read the envelope. It said:
To: Deidara From: Pein
Deidara squinted his eyes, and scratched his grey-blonde hair in confusion. "Who the hell is Pein…?" the ex-bomber thought. Deidara stood there on his porch for five minutes, thinking, until finally, it came to him. He snapped his fingers. "Aha-ooooh, my arthritis!- Oh yeah Pein!" Deidara excitedly fumbled with the envelope to open it. 'Pein, man, it had been to long', he thought to him self, as he began to read the letter.
Dear Deidara… or is it Dendaka?
It's me Pein. And if you don't remember, the leader of akatsuki from like 60 years ago. I have nothing better to do with my life anymore, so I'm bored enough to go with my wife Konan's idea to summon all eight of you idiots for an Akatsuki reunion. So if you're not dead yet, then come drag your old ass over here within five days.
Your leader, -Pein
Deidara finished the letter with wide eyes. He hadn't seen the Akatsuki in like 60 years! They all went their separate ways after completely destroying the leaf village. He hadn't even thought about them, let alone visit them. Not even Sasori! And How did Pein even think a 79 year old man can get all the way from Japan to the village hidden in the waterfalls on foot within just 5 freaking days?! But then Deidara thought he could just ask one of his neighbors to assist him all the way to the waterfall village. It would work if he told him he wanted to visit some close friends. Besides, he was anxious to see all the crazy people after all these years… "Hmm, this will be interesting…" Deidara thought.
…
Exactly five days later, Deidara and his much younger ninja neighbor Deskasai arrived outside the old akatsuki base in the village hidden in the waterfalls. Deidara sighed. "Wow, I haven't been to this base for a long, long time! I barely recognized it, hm." Deidara looked at Deskasai. "Thanks for helping your old neighbor, son, I really appreciate it. I'd like you to never come back, hmm." Deidara explained.
Deskasai bowed in respect. "Of course Deidara-san. No problem. I will never return, if that is what you wish. So now, how do I fly this thing home by myself?" the brown headed young man asked, gesturing to the bird he was standing on.
Deidara blinked innocently. "Oh, yeah, well Uhhh, you just bring your hands up to your nose, and focus your chakra, you know in that position I showed you earlier, yeah…" Deidara instructed.
"Ok…" Deskasai said mimicking that hand position Deidara always used to do when he was younger.
"And then you just shout, HA!" Deidara said.
"Ok… HA! Deskasai yelled. And in a split second, Deskasai and the clay bird blew up into a beautiful sunset of smoke and flames. That was the end of young Deskasai. Deidara snickered quietly.
"Deidara, you still got it…fool, hmm" The grey-blonde said as he walked to the base.
When the old bomber arrived he was greeted with an old woman who for the most part had grey hair with small streaks of blue and had hazel eyes. "Deidara!" The old women smiled warmly at him. Deidara gasped. "K-konan?"
The old lady narrowed her eyes. "Who else?!" Konan said in an old women shaky voice. "I was the only female in akatsuki." Deidara continued to gape.
Konan? There was no way! Konan used to be so pretty back then, but now she's so wrinkly and saggy and so… not. Deidara shook his head and continued to stare. A few seconds past until finally Konan said, "Well… Come in!" Deidara slowly walked along side Konan, following her.
"So, where are we headed, hmm?" Deidara asked. Konan answered.
"To the rec room. Everyone's already here."
"Oh, hmm" They walked in silence until they reached the rec room, and Deidara was greeted with all the rest of the akatsuki members. They were all smiling and talking, and laughing. They all looked as old as ever too. Deidara grinned, feeling this warm feeling in his heart. "Hey everybody, yeah!" Deidara shouted, making his signature pose with his two hand mouths sticking out there tongues'.
Everyone turned to Deidara and smiled or smirked. "Well if it isn't the old fart!" Hidan grinned at Deidara. "It's been too long. " Deidara smirked.
"Yeah, I'm the old one! If you haven't forgotten, I'm he the youngest one in here!" Deidara and Hidan slapped hands.
Deidara looked around and saw Tobi. His orange swirly mask was all too familiar. He… actually looked the exact same, since Deidara couldn't see his face. "Senpai!" He yelled in his same energetic voice. He stood up with his cane and slowly limped towards Deidara and gave him a tight hug. "I've missed you so sooooo much!" Tobi squealed with an old man voice. Ten loud cracking noises could be heard, and Deidara screamed to the high heavens.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAWBOMBBLASTIT!" Tobi gasped.
"Oh, sorry Deidara!" Tobi let go of Deidara and Deidara fell back, about to pass out from the pain, until he felt strong. Hard arms catch him from behind.
"Tobi, have a little respect." A smooth familiar voice scowled. "Were all old people now." Deidara's eyes widened, and he turned around and saw a still young looking Sasori with the same bored expression he used to always wear.
Deidara grinned once again. "Sasori my man! How's it goin', yeah?" He bellowed. Sasori showed a hint of a smile.
"Brat, not much." They shook hands, and then Deidara glared in realization.
"Hey what are you talking about? You have no right to call me brat anymore; I look way older than you now!" Deidara protested. Sasori rolled his eyes and chuckled.
"Yeah…. And man am I glad about that, cause'… you guys all look like old, ugly bags!" Sasori pointed to all the akatsuki members, and everyone went silent for a second, and then everyone erupted with angry protests.
Deidara's faced morphed into confusion. "Hold up, hmm!" He yelled over the crowd of Akatsuki members. "Sasori, why the hell do you still look the way you did when I last saw you anyways, yeah?" The grey-blonde questioned.
Sasori stared in disbelief. "You're telling me you don't remember…? I'm a puppet! I don't age" Sasori practically yelled while throwing his arms in the air in exasperation.
Deidara smirked. "Wait then… how old are you really…?" Deidara asked Sasori looked away and mumbled, "I'm 95." Sasori put his hands on his hips "And I'm very proud o-"
"BBBBBBWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA-" The whole Akatsuki erupted with laughter. "Man that's freaking hilarious!" Hidan yelled.
"You little old puppet man!" Zetsu laughed. Sasori fumed in embarrassment then looked over at Kisame laughing. "Well at least I don't look it! At least at I don't look as old and butt-ugly as Kisame who's only three years younger than me!" Sasori defended.
Kisame looked down in shame. "Yes, you're right, Sasori." Kisame said in his normal creepy voice. "I am indeed, butt-ugly now." Itachi tried to comfort the sulking Kisame. He glared at a wall thinking it was Sasori.
"Sasori don't make fun of Kisame like that. Now, now Kisame, its ok…" a very old but still very good looking Itachi patted Kisame on the back… or was it-
"Um Itachi, I'm not Kisame." Pein dead panned.
"Oh… gomen." The blind Itachi apologized patting Kisame on the back this time.
"So, if Sasori-san is 95… than how old is Kakuzu-san?!" Tobi asked, horrified.
Hidan scoffed in irritation. "Tobi ya' retard! Didn't cha' hear?! KAKUZU DIED 58 FRICKIN' YEARS AGO! PAY ATTENTION TA THAT KINDA – OOOH!" Hidan fainted of over anger, his tongue lulling to the side of his mouth. Konan gasped and ran-limped over to him and started fanning him off. Pein rolled his eyes.
"Ha, Hidan can't afford to get worked up, nowa days huh? Ha-ha… , If Kakuzu were alive today he'd be…151 years old." Pein said with amusement.
"…,so anyways…" Deidara turned back to Sasori and Tobi, and continued talking, as did all the rest of the Akatsuki, and after the reunion, they all decided that they'd just live together for the remainder of their lives, because they realized that they only had each other.
