It took me a LOT longer than it should've. But here it is; another installment to the chaos arch. Meet the ever so delicate character that is Shikari..
lyrics.
Disclaimer: although Shikari belongs to me, neither this song ("Gomenasai" by TATU) nor Naruto belongs to me. I am using with completely and utterly without permission to contort and bend the characters to my own will... SO PLEASE DON'T RAT ME OUT!! I DUN WANNA GET SUED!!
Gomenasai - Shikari's Story
Waking up that day hadn't been easy. She'd been lying on her side, pillow hugged to her chest, blankets covering everything but the very tips of her toes... it was the perfect climate to sleep, and the only noise her acute ears could hear was the silent footfalls of her mother in the kitchen. That day was already a losing battle, why wake up to face what else might be in store?
For young Aburame Shikari, it was simple; if she didn't, within five minutes a loud, obnoxious Hyuuga-Brat would burst through her door and scream her out of bed. Even if he was supposed to be at the other side of the village that day.
She sighed, and willed her kikaichuu to crawl out from under her skin and push the bed off of her slight figure. Feeling unusually sluggish, she sat up, slipping her feet into the slippers under her bed as she stood to stretch her back. She almost tripped as she walked to the door, and her silver eyes glared down at the jacket she had carelessly thrown there at some point in the morning; she had been out training with Shikamaru-sensei until early in the morning, and didn't feel like sneaking into the Aburame estate, only to wake up Shibi-sama and get some perverted and brash comment... and with her father away on a mission, only her mother could wake up if she wasn't being particularily quite. And even then she wouldn't mind too badly; she would just ask what she wanted for breakfast and go back to bed.
But stepping out into the cold hallway, she couldn't find the usual luster in the wooden walls that she used to see; everything was mutely gray, and she almost tripped again as she started towards the kitchen. 'Is this what Hiiro feels like when he comes over to the Aburame estate? Like he doesn't belong?'
What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Was a one of a kind,
A precious pearl
The kitchen door was open, and she entered without making a sound, her mother busy with her back turned, making something at the counter; it smelled like... Shikari couldn't guess, but the only breakfasts she'd been having for the past two weeks were made by Shibi-sama, and poison was better than his food. Whatever her mother was making, it smelled divine.
"Ohayoo, Kari-chan," her mother chirped. Her long ponytail was held back with a butterfly clip, that sparkled as she turned to smile brightly at her daughter. "Did you sleep okay? I made bacon and toast for you."
"Arigatou," she almost laughed; of course her mother knew she was here. She was Hyuuga Hinata after all. No one can hide from her eyes, even if they tried.
"Why aren't you with your grandfather?" Her mother asked, her silver eyes watching her keenly as she sat across the table. She placed a plate in front of her daughter, and held a glass of water in her hands for herself. "I thought since your father was going to be away for the month, you were going to spend all your time training with Shibi-sama and Shikamaru?"
"I was just a little tired," Shikari muttered, pulling the plate closer towards her. Before she could say anything else, a dozen of her kikai bugs crawled out and grabbed a piece of bacon to pull apart in the corner; it was their favourite toy, whether or not she was supposed to be eating it. "Shikamaru-sensei and I were training very late last night-"
"I know," Hinata hid a smile behind her glass of water. "I heard you sneaking in at 3 in the morning. Do I have to have a word with your teacher?"
"No!" Shikari insisted; the last time she'd pushed it too far with training, she'd ended up in the hospital for three days. BOTH of her parents had had 'a word' with Shikamaru-sensei then, and the next time she saw him he had a black eye. Her mother only giggled at her, and they both settled back into breakfast for a time.
The light started spilling into the kitchen when both of them heard the front door open; Shikari looked up at her mother quizically, and Hinata placed her glass of water back on the table for the moment. "You're brother's coming over for breakfast as well, and then we're training for the day. You can join us if you'd like."
"No," Shikari shook her head, wishing that her father was back. I love you mother, I love you so much... but you just don't always understand what it's like to be an Aburame. She stood up from the table before her brother even entered the kitchen, thanked her again for making her breakfast, and turned to leave.
When I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed
She ran into Hiiro just outside the door; he was dressed in his usual tight clothing, boots with dozens of straps that hid dozens of knives making his footsteps louder than they should be, and a plate of armour covering his chest; his hair was messier than normal, and a quick glance showed that he was still carrying his ANBU mask. He must've just come back from a mission then... I didn't even know he was gone.
"Did everything go according to plan?" She asked.
Hiiro seemed confused for a moment, before he put together his sister's logic. "Yesterday I was asked to do a quick reconnaissances on a neighbouring village... just got back an hour ago to talk to Rokudaime-jii-san. How's training been? Thinking of becoming a Jounin anytime soon?"
He always asked her that; she was apparently one of the smartest ninja in the village... next to Shikamaru-sensei, of course. And yet, she was still only a Chuunin. And she was quite happy with staying as one.
Instead of answering him, she pushed past and walked daintily back to her room, making less noise than he could dream of making... the only thing that ruined it was when she tripped (again). He snorted in laughter, and she turned to glare at him hauntingly, Hyuuga-eyes meeting Hyuuga-eyes. Her's were far more intimidating, kikaichuu buzzing behind them with anger, and after a moment he broke away from her gaze and entered the kitchen.
She huffed in annoyance, and entered her room to change.
Her closet had some of the prettiest kimono's in the village, and walking over to it she couldn't help but finger the silks and the cotton, her vision grazing over the delicate embroidery. Then she pushed it all aside and pulled out black pants, a tank top, and a netted long sleeve shirt. Her jacket came last, high collar covering everything below her nose, and buttons reaching down to her waist, where it flared out the rest of the way to her ankles. She stepped carefully over to the mirror, straightening her hair for a moment before glaring at her own Hyuuga-eyes. To be given such a powerful gift that I cannot use... yes, I'm smart, but I'm not skilled enough to be a ninja. She slipped her sunglasses over her eyes, and walked out the door.
The kitchen door was closed when she past it, even though both her brother's and her mother's shoes were still at the door. Trying not to think about it, she pulled on her knee-high boots and left the building; a beautiful lake was in front of her, but she didn't pause to look at it as she started walking towards the village.
She made the hand-signs for shunshin, and disappeared in a whisp of leaves.
Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
A few moments of darkness, and the chuunin was walking in the middle of the village, the Yamanaka flower shop just to her right, and if she continued following the street she would find Ichiraku's... and if she kept walking after that, eventually she would find the Aburame Estates, and the forest just beyond.
She made a turn, and headed towards the training grounds.
People passing by parting in front of her, not wanting to be near her. She was alone in an ocean, and no matter how much she called out no one would save her from drowning... she walked faster, trying to ignore the people. One of them got too close, and she bumped into them for a moment before pushing on; they fell down with a small yelp, and half a dozen people went to go help them up.
She was tempted to use shunshin again, but it would've been a waste of time. The training grounds were barely two minutes away, and the walking would serve as part of her warm up anyways... and seeing the training grounds in the distance, she started to remember the past.
When her and Hiiro were younger, they would always train together. Hiiro was only a little taller than her, and she always kept her hair short; no one ever mistook them for siblings, and people even began calling them the Hyuuga twins... but whenever anyone asked her if she could use byakuugan yet, she could only look cutely confused and bring out her bugs, wondering if that's what they ment.
It scared the people around her, and made Hiiro laugh. Eventually, a few years later, he explained exactly what they meant. Explained that in their parent's marriage contract, it was said that the first born child would become the Hyuuga Heir, and the second born would become an Aburame... that, while they shared the same eyes, she could never used the Hyuuga family techniques because of the kikaichuu destroying her body, replacing her sight with chakra aids.
She had cried for a week then, and tried to get rid of her bugs. Then her father found her, and consoled her and hugged her, and took her out to teach her how to call fireflies to light up her bedroom at night.
The siblings rarely trained together anymore, and when they did it was always out in the middle of the lake, in front of their parent's house. Hiiro always said I was too delicate for missions and the like, and now he trains with mother, and Neji-jii-san, and the Rokudaime and anyone else but me...
The gates to the training grounds were suddenly in front of her, and she moved to find herself a private spot.
What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain
Finding a place was easy; she found the clearing she wanted, just away from the main buzz of the training grounds, and the two people who were already there left without a word. The only advantage to being an outcast among a crowd of friends... everyone leaves you alone.
It started to rain as she started her training; she summoned two bug clones, who continuously tried to attack her. She'd dodge, counter attack one, and then attack the other... and she kept doing this, over and over again. It was strenuous, a type of endurance training her father taught her, and that Shibi-sama was notorious for forcing her to do; he would all but drain her of energy and chakra for their warm up, and then spend hours training with her until she literally couldn't walk anymore. More often than not she ended up in the hospital, but it was a quick fix and before she knew it she was back at home for a day or two of rest before it started all over again...
Shibi-sama always teased her, calling her a delicate little butterfly.
Doesn't anybody think I'm strong enough? She asked herself, destroying her bug clones yet again. She pulled them back together with her chakra and waited for another attack. My own genin teammates, after we all became chuunin they abandoned me. They both became Juunin, and went on duo missions together... now only Shikamaru-sensei will go on missions with me. And father, when he isn't off on his own missions.
She spent a few minutes just dodging punches and kicks, before getting fed up with it. She attacked one of the clones, and let those bugs come back to her... then she performed a quick genjutsu on the other clone... and suddenly standing before her was her brother, ready to fight.
Knowing all her brother's moves, the fight was very realistic... and the closest thing she came to training with her brother in months. She only had to be careful not to attack the clone, and only be on the defensive... which proved to be more draining than she thought it would be. What did I do, Hii-kun? She thought sadly to herself, dodging a kunai which broke into kikaichuu behind her. What did I do to cause you to leave? To not want to be around me anymore? Is it because I am nothing more than an Aburame, where I could've been another Hyuuga?
She dropped all the jutsu's so suddenly her head almost spun, and dropped to her knees. Her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, tears started trickling down her face. "Why am I alone here?"
When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself
It started raining. Feeling caught, she unbuttoned her jacket, casting it to the side and throwing her sunglasses on top of them, despite the cold... then she did something she hadn't done it years. She put herself into a perfect juuken stance, and practiced the gentle fist style that the hyuuga clan was famous for... when she was a child, Hiiro had taught her the stances, and had explained the chakra manipulation to her; but no matter how hard she had trained, she was never as good as her older brother was.
"But I'm just a bug," she muttered to herself, not ever being able to completely submerge herself into dreams. Her body shuddered from the cold; she ignored it, and moved with more irritation and anger. "Just the scum under Hiashi-sama's boots, the bane of his exsistance along with my father, and my grandfather. And I'll inherit a clan of bugs that no one wants to visit, and that no one wants to know. I'll be alone, forever. Just me," she made a vicious punch towards a tree, and for a moment lost control of her chakra, "and my bugs..."
She felt weaker, and her vision swarmed in darkness for a moment, before she fell to the ground yet again.
But I don't want to be alone... she cried to herself sadly. I want to grow old and find someone who loves me, like father did... I want to make friends and laugh, and hang out with people at Ichiraku's. Nobody is afraid of father, or Shibi-sama... so why doesn't anybody like me? What do I do wrong?
Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to feel nothing but the rain pounding her delicate skin, plastering her dark blue hair to her skull as the sounds around her lulled her into sleep.
Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
Waking up was such a task. There was something warm tucked all around her, and a soft pillow under her head, and even though the lights seemed to be on they weren't harsh against her eyelids... she just wanted to sleep. So she did, drifting in and out of a delirious state where she forgot about Hyuuga's and Aburame's, where Shikamaru-sensei played shoji with her and Hii-kun took her to train after lunch.
Where people didn't run away from her.
... but eventually, she couldn't do it anymore. She drifted too close to consciousness, and her ears heard the rhythmic tic of a clock, and the weight of someone leaning on the side of her bed, and the warmth of a hand on top of her own.
She blinked her eyes open, and realized that she was in the hospital. I... wasn't I at the training grounds..? Am I really so delicate as to have to go to the hospital after being out in the rain for a little while? The light flicked on fully, and she realized that there had only been a small lamp in the corner before... she turned to look as the clicking of heels announced someone entering, and saw the tall, pinkette medical-ninja who always seemed to be treating her. Haruno Sakura.
"I see you're better already," Sakura smiled at her, sitting on a chair at her side. "I sent someone to tell your father; he's just upstairs with Naruto right now, but he should be down shortly. I didn't bother sending anyone else to get the rest of your family; he'll be able to take you home as soon as you warm up a little bit more."
"H-hai..." Shikari muttered, casting her eyes downwards... then she looked at her hand, the one that was warm with the skin of someone else; the hand belonged to a raven haired boy she barely recognized from back in the academy. "... who's he?"
"Dunno," she almost heard the medical-ninja shrug. "He ran here carrying you, said he found you unconscious in the training grounds soaking wet... by the way, I need to talk to you about-"
"Don't worry," a voice interrupted them. Shikari looked up at the door as Sakura spun around, both in time to see her father enter. Aburame Shino always had a calm air about him, but at that moment he was glaring... Shikari was worried for a moment, before she noticed that the glare was directed at the boy who was holding her had; she started wiggling her hand free from his grasp, but the boy didn't want to let go. "I'll talk to her about it. Thank you Sakura-chan."
"Of course, Shino-kun," Sakura said with a smile. "I haven't seen you in ages... how's Hinata?"
"She was perfect before I left for my mission, and hopefully she will be once I get back," Shikari noticed the lighter tone of voice as her father spoke of her mother, and Sakura must've too, because her smile grew, and with a quick good bye and a friendly hug to Shikari, and left.
Her father stayed looming in the shadows, glaring at the boy, and Shikari laughed nervously; she looked back at the raven haired boy, and tried to remember who exactly he was... filing the concern away, she reached over with her free hand and gently tried to nudge him awake... he didn't budge. I wonder why he brought me here..? She thought. Without my jacket and my glasses, I must look exactly like a Hyuuga.
She nudged him again, and he muttered something unintelligible and squeezed her hand.
"Wake up Inuzuka," her father's voice boomed from across the room. The boy jumped, letting go of her hand and shrinking back from her father instinctively; suddenly, Shikari recognized him. His father had been on the same team with her father, and once, about a year ago, they both came to dinner. His name was Katsuro, and he'd always sit at the back on class at the academy and throw paper airplanes when the teacher wasn't looking.
Right then, he looked like he was going to die. "K-K-Konichi wa, Aburame-sama..."
"It's evening now," her father drawled out slowly. Shikari knew he was enjoying tormenting the boy. "Or were you too busy with my daughter to realize what time of day it was..?"
The boy flushed pink, and shook his head. "Iie! It wasn't like that... I saw Shikari out at the training grounds and I got worried cause she was just lying there not wearin' her jacket or anything, so I brought her here and..." he trailed off as Shino's glare intensified, and stood up. "I'll just be going now... hope you get better, Shikari."
What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
Her father sat down after Katsuro left, and took his sunglasses off to look at her in concern. "How are you, Kari-chan..?" She just shrugged, cradling the hand Katsuro had been holding. He knew it was me, and he still helped me... "Kari, look at me please."
She looked up at him, tears framing her lashes. Reaching out, her father brushed them off of her cheeks; she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. "I'm glad your home, father."
"I'm glad I'm home too, my little kunoichi," he told her lovingly, leaning closer to kiss her forehead. "Now... please tell me why you were out in the rain without a jacket on?"
"I just..." she shrugged again. "I got fed up with everything, I guess... Hii-kun just got back from a mission, and he didn't even tell me he went... Shibi-sama does nothing but work me to the bone... Hiashi-sama hates me... mother was too busy training with Hiiro... Shikamaru-sensei tells me I should find people my own age to hang out with, but everyone in the village avoids me..."
"Right, that's why the first time I see you after being gone for 3 weeks in a boy holding your hand," Shino snorted. Shikari rolled her eyes, and her father sighed. "Is this all why you're being depressed? Everyone was ignoring you while I was gone..?"
"Well... no one really understands, no one really wants to understand what it's like to be an Aburame..." she muttered. "And it feels like half my family would prefer if I were a Hyuuga instead."
"Now listen here," he sounded angry at her. She looked up, her silver eyes worried she'd said something wrong. "It's okay for you to be depressed now and then; everyone gets like that. And it's okay for you to feel out of place; I went through that as a child too, and so did my father, and I'm sure so did a lot of other people in the village did too, not just in our clan. And it's perfectly fine for you to be out training and to get caught up, so long as next time you wear your jacket the entire time and don't end up in the hospital! But it certainly, 100 percent is NOT okay for you to think that you should be anything other than who you are."
"But it was completely chance!" Shikari yelled back. "If I had been born first, I would be a Hyuuga! And then Hiiro would've been an Aburame!"
"But you weren't," Shino argued back at her. "You were born second, and you were raised as you were raised. I assure you if you were born first you would've been raised completely different and you simply wouldn't be the person who you are today. Now, you are a strong, intelligent kunoichi who just so happens to not have very many friends her own age; there isn't a thing in the world wrong with that!"
They lasped into silence, both just staring at each other.
After a long, long time, Shino sighed, and stood up slowly. "Besides, if you were born first, you would be more like your brother; which means that every time you saw me you would get into a cold, stoic conversation, which are completely awkward for me. I love you just the way you are. And so does the rest of our family. Now... are you coming home, or should I leave you to be depressed some more and come back in the morning..?"
She shook her head, not feeling completely better, but happy that her father was back to talk some sense into her. Cautiously she stood up, taking her father's arm and leaning against him heavily. "Aritagou, otousan..."
"Your welcome." He told her, walking slowly so that she wouldn't trip. "Now... all this depressing stuff is over with, right?"
"Probably not... but for the moment I'm past it."
"That's going to be the best answer I'm going to get... so, moving on. Should I ask Kiba and his son to come over for dinner or-"
"Father!" She hit him lightly in the side, and he laughed.
Thank you, father. I'm so glad your back...
Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
-Owari