I was running.
And it was raining.
I left the truck far behind. After driving for 20 minutes as fast as I could to get away from the tree, away from her, I just couldn't stand the smell of her blood.
Blood. I tasted blood. My tongue felt swollen, I must have bit it when I slipped on all of the blood.
No. Not blood. Rain. It's just rain. That's all I see. I kept running, my hair plastered to my face, my clothes clinging to my body with water and sweat and blood.
No Alice, you're not bleeding. There's no blood.
Thunder rolled out across the empty black abyss and I kept running. Lightning flashed and I caught a glimpse of where I was. Shadows loomed before me. A house? No. A gas station. Someone could help me.
Wait Alice, there is no one. You're alone. All alone. The only person you ever loved is gone.
No she can't be. That's not possible.
You saw the blood, you're swimming in it.
"NO!" I yelled out, thunder answering my cry. I reached for my gun. It wasn't there. You left it in the truck. I tripped over a parking bumper and fell into the blood.
It was everywhere. Her blood. Her blood was on my hands. Raining down on me, filling my mouth and nose with the metallic taste. I screamed and stumbled up, ripping off my jacket and running for the gas station. I ignored my common sense to get a weapon; I just had to get out of the blood. I ran in through the door. There was a sliver of light coming from a door on the far side of the room. I ran for it.
I slammed through the door. Empty. Just an empty employee lounge. I slammed the door closed and locked it, stripping off my clothes. I fell to the ground shivering. I saw a blanket hanging over a chair and I crawled over to it, wrapping the scratchy fabric around my body.
I couldn't feel anything, not my heart beating, not my eyes crying, not my hands.
My hands. One of them was closed, clenched as tight as it could. I slowly opened it, blood flowing back into my cold numb fingers. A silver locket lie in my hand, a silver rose blooming over the heart shaped necklace. I let out a sob and did the only thing I could lying naked on a dirty floor.
I cried and allowed the darkness to consume me.
I have to be dead. Or at least close to it.
I haven't moved from the room. I couldn't eat, and the only sleep I was able to get was filled with dreams of her face.
My fault. It's all my fault. She's gone.
No. No we just got separated.
No Alice, you had the gun, you had no choice.
I don't know how long I've been in this room, hours, days, couldn't have been weeks. I would be dead from lack of food. I know there is a zombie outside of the door. I heard him bang on it when he heard me crying. I didn't want to move, didn't want to feel, didn't want to remember.
I opened my eyes as I heard the zombie going through food in the aisle. He wouldn't eat it. It wasn't innocent flesh, not worthy of his taste buds.
I suddenly found myself standing, but it was as if it wasn't me. I watched myself put on my clothes, go over to one of the chairs in the room and pick it up by a leg. I swung the chair against the small counter on the right side of the room. I swung again and the leg came loose. I took the metal chair leg and walked to the door, slowly unlocking it and opening it. Sunlight shown through the store windows. The zombie stood on the far side of the room, blood dripping from it's mouth. A heat bubbled up inside of me.
Rage. That's what this was. It was her blood dripping from its lips, from all of their cruel mouths. He sprinted for me and I stood, waiting.
He got closer, I stood my ground.
He was almost upon me.
I stood.
He reached for me.
I stepped to the side and swung the pole against his head. He fell to the ground and I continued to swing. I swung again and again at his head. I thought I heard a voice chuckle in the back of my head but I ignored it. I finally stopped swinging and looked down at the zombie's head. Well I guess you could call it a head, it just looked like someone dropped a plate of red jello. The voice laughed again, louder this time. An evil, amused laugh that I heard in my head, and that came out of my mouth.
Me. I was laughing. Not my fault. It was their fault. All of them.
'Can't trust anybody.' The voice whispered.
"Can't trust anybody." I said aloud.
'Can't love.' It whispered so sweetly.
"Can't love." I Echoed, hoping it would stay.
'Can't let anyone in, you're all alone.'
"Can't let anyone in, I'm all alone." I closed my eyes.
'Who are you Alice?'
I opened my eyes and saw my reflection in the puddle of blood. Who I saw wasn't me, it was someone darker. I gave a heartless smile to my Echo.
"There is no Alice."
I shot the last zombie in the leg and continued down the aisle as he wriggled on the floor. I needed jerky, beef jerky. I don't know why I craved the dry meat, I just did. I made my way into the back storeroom, looking for my favorite treat. I skimmed the aisles and saw a box at the end.
"Bingo." I said to myself. I took out my knife and opened the box. There lie the neat airtight packs of flavored meat I longed for. I smiled and put my duffel bag on a nearby box, stuffing as much as I could get at the bottom of the bag under my weapons. I heard a whisper behind me. I whipped my dual pistols out and aimed at the grown man in a cowboy hat.
"Whoa now." He held up his hands. I glared at him as a lanky boy who looked to be in his 20's stumbled into the aisle, holding up his hands. I pointed one of my guns at him.
"Hey we're not infected." The lanky boy said. I stared at them, saying nothing. People? How could there be people? It was just me, no one else. Can't trust them, can't trust them.
"I-I'm Columbus and this is Tallahassee."
"What the hell kind of names are those?" I said. It came out harsher than I intended, but I was not about to come off as some helpless princess or something to these people.
"W-We don't use names, we use cities. Where we're from or just where we'd like to be." The one called Columbus said. He looked scared shitless, but the other one, Tallahassee, just looked bored.
"Look we're not gonna shoot you unless you shoot us." He said. "So why don't you just take the guns off us and we can have a civilized conversation."
I still glared at them, I can't trust anyone. But I put my guns in the holsters at my sides, grabbed my black duffel bag and pump shotgun and walked past them. I heard footsteps follow me, but I kept my swift pace.
Why were they following me? What the fuck did they care?
"Hey, don't you wanna come with us?" Columbus said. I ignored him and kept walking.
"Now hold on spit-fuck when did we become the survivor rescue brigade?" Tallahassee said from behind us. Why couldn't Nancy here be like the cowboy and not give a fuck?
"We can protect you and-" I stopped dead in my tracks and turned on him, pinning him against the aisle. Tallahassee pointed his gun at me but I stared at Columbus.
Protect me? No one could ever protect me. She tried to protect me, and look what happened to her! No one will die because of me. My fault. It was all my fault. The zombies. Their fault, not mine. I don't need saving.
"Let's get something straight, I do not need rescuing, I do not need protection, and I don't need help. I'm pretty sure you haven't been through as much shit as me and I am sure as hell not gonna let anyone think I'm a princess that needs saving. I can already tell that I have more balls than you've ever had and that you're more of a pansy-ass than anything." I said, gripping the collar of his shirt tighter. "And if you think for one second that I can't take care of myself you are sadly mistaken."
I let go of him and picked up my gun and bag swiftly and walked away, leaving Columbus in shock.
"Wait!" He yelled, but I turned quickly down another aisle.
I don't need anyone. I'm alone. All alone. It's what I deserve.
"Hey!" I heard someone yell. I kept on walking through the parking lot. I probably shouldn't have wrecked my car, but that ramp looked so jump worthy. I can tell you what I wasn't doing, I wasn't failing at reenacting the best Dukes of Hazzard scene ever. I ended up just getting a few scratches and bruises, lucky some might say but I didn't care if I died. I was actually slowly working up the courage to just end it, everyone I ever cared about is dead, so why not?
Because Hazel wouldn't want that.
"Hey don't you wanna come with us?" I kept walking, taking a quick glance at the girl in the BMW. She was beautiful with straight hair and looked to be about the same as the Columbus kid. I looked back forward.
"I told your little friend no." I said still walking, the BMW keeping pace. I heard the cowboy tell them to leave, then another voice. I heard the passenger door shut and the car stopped. Then someone walked out from in front of the ca-
Hazel?
Hey eyes. Her eyes were the same blue. Same age. Same need to help others, kindness but confidence. Hazel stood before me with long brown hair.
No. Hazel is dead. I killed her.
I put my glare back on.
"We take shifts sleeping, and it's safer to travel with people. Less work." She said quickly. "And, uh, we have a car." She said motioning towards it. "We can give you a ride to where you need to go. Just, Just please come with us."
Why are these people bothering me? Should I go? Why am I even thinking of going with them? They'll only get hurt, I'll only get hurt…
'Don't push them away. Just be happy Alice, just be happy.' Hazel's last words, her last request.
"I'm Little Rock what's your name?" She said. I looked down.
My name? I don't have a name anymore. Because I'm not who I used to be. That person is gone. So who am I?
Eustis?
No that name's stupid. I was suddenly reminded of plam trees. A warm breeze, happier times on the beach…..
I looked back up and sighed. "Miami I guess."
Little Rock smiled. "So wanna come with us, Miami?"
Miami. I liked it. That's who I was now. Not a scared girl with a name, not a nameless wandering being, but a place of power, confidence, fearlessness, and jello shots.
Eh, I'll take it.
But did I want to go with these people? I looked at all of them in that car. Did I want to become a part of a group, trust these people?
I did. I honestly really did.
I wanted to follow those big blue eyes.
But I can't trust anybody….right?
I sighed again. 'What the hell. Couldn't hurt too bad right?'
"Fine." I said. Hazel, I mean Little Rock beamed at me and opened the door for me. Columbus moved over, not making eye contact with me. I put my stuff in the back and got in.
Miami…I could get used to that.
Well that was a look inside Miami's mind. Kinda fucked up right? Well hope you guys enjoyed and I hope this keeps some of you happy for awhile. Bye peoplez.