So, this developed through a conversation with a friend of mine... we speculated if it was possible to logically explain a 'Sakura is the daughter of Jiraiya and Tsunade' without taking a dive into the ridiculous and obscure… well here is my attempt in short scenes.

The whole thing is not Beta'd and I wrote it in about 20 minutes at 3:30 in the morning, so please forgive me my mistakes (or at least point them out so that I can correct them).

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Chapter 1

Tsunade looked up when she recognized the chakra signature of her former Genin teammate but refused to budge from her seat in front of the slot machine. She had been wining every day since the start of this week.

Unquestioned Jiraiya sat down on the next machine and mechanically pulled the lever.

…

…

…

Jiraiya lost while Tsunade won again.

They sat in silence before Jiraiya finally whispered "Minato and Kushina are dead."

That night two of the Sannin found comfort in the arms of the other. It was the third time they had slept with each other out of comfort. It would also be more than ten years until their next encounter.

That night Senju Sakura came into existence.

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Tsunade hated the fetus inside of her. She hated it for making her vulnerable, for forcing her to stop drinking and take care of herself. For not being Dan's… for making her CARE.

Tsunade also regretted. She regretted that the child would be cursed with her as mother, that she probably would not see it grow up or ever be able to acknowledge it as being HER child in fear of calling down hunters on it.

Tsunade loved her child. It was a baffling and unexplainable love, one that had sneaked up on her and reminded her of the unconditional one she had felt for Nawaki such a long time ago. The flutter in her ever expanding middle made her smile and the kicks and movements made her chuckle wryly. The fact that it was Jiraiya's probably only made her love it more. Jiraiya was important to her no matter how at odds they were at times; he belonged to the small group of still living beings for which she would happily go on a killing spree for. No matter that she hated her condition in the beginning this alone would have stopped her from ever killing it… it was Jiraiya's; she would have never be able to do that to him.

This child would also be the last Senju… that was the only thought Tsunade had no opinion about. It just was.

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Jiraiya was fucking terrified.

He was going to be a father… he was going to have a child with Tsunade, the woman that he had loved since his teenage years. But everything else was just wrong.

How would he protect him or her?

Neither Tsunade nor himself were true Konoha ninja anymore. There would be no ANBU teams on 24/7 duty to ensure their child's protection. If its existence ever came out, Jiraiya knew that it would be hunted from all sides until it was irrevocably dead or used against them.

He wasn't sure if he would be able to survive that.

Like the fucking idiot that he was he already loved that tiny being that was growing inside his irate teammate. It was more than an accident, it was a fucking miracle. Both Tsunade and himself had been hardcore active duty ninja for over thirty years and were now nearly forty additionally Tsunade was a MEDIC. The conception should have been impossible. That the baby was still growing stubbornly inside of his blonde teammate let Jiraiya fondly chuckle, it was just as stubborn as its' parents.

Minato would have probably laughed himself silly if he had ever found out. The thought sent biting jolts of pain through him, the grief was still too raw to properly contemplate how his student would have reacted to such news.

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The birth, once the contractions had started was as quick as Tsunade and Shizune could make it.

Their daughter was born on the 28th of March only five and a half months after her conception, premature and a medical miracle. From what Tsunade could conclude afterwards her daughter's development had been sped up by her use of the Creation Rebirth Release when Tsunade had been stabbed nearly fatal for the baby at the end of her third month. The blonde Sannin had not been showing yet and when a group of S and A rank missing nin got the drop of her and Shizune one got a lucky hit in. At that time the Creation Rebirth Release had been Tsunade's only viable option to safe her child, since then Tsunade had also been nearly impossible paranoid about her health and possible attacks.

Tsunade couldn't say if it was a consequence of her using her seal or the Uzumaki genes rearing their head but her little girl had pink hair. Both Jiraiya and her had been somewhat baffled at the hair color though Jiraiya had found it quite cute if she had read his expression right. Her eye color though was eerier familiar, it was the exact same shade her own mother had had possessed.

They named their daughter Sakura… or well, Jiraiya named her. He blurted the name out two days after he had met up with them after Shizune had hastily sent a coded message to him. Tsunade herself hadn't felt any objections. The name fit their baby and while she would have liked to give Sakura a more traditional Senju name, she didn't dare for obvious reasons.

Sakura was a surprisingly well developed baby for being born that early, the only thing that concerned Tsunade was her chakra system. It was a bit on the small side. The chakra systems of clan children were normally on the bigger side of the spectrum and with Jiraiya had her as the parents Sakura should have been gifted with a big natural advantage. Instead her chakra system was not bigger than that of a civilian child. Tsunade wasn't sure if this was a temporary problem or if it would be permanent but either way she was just glad that Sakura appeared healthy in all the other categories.

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Giving up their baby girl was probably the hardest thing both Jiraiya and Tsunade had ever done. It broke their hearts in a way that they would probably never recover from and made Tsunade withdraw even further from reality. That this was for Sakura's safety didn't help in the slightest.

They had informed Hiruzen-sensei after the near miss with the missing nin of Tsunade's condition as well as their intent of sending their child away. It was the Sandaime who arranged the adoptive family after being send a picture of Tsunade, Jiraiya and the newborn.

The old Hokage had arranged for a couple of his deep cover spies from Iwa and Taki to take up the role of Sakura's parents. The two informants had been Chunins before they stopped their shinobi training to immerse themselves into their covers. Now that the War and the last major consequences were over they had returned to Konoha to retire and live out the rest of their lives as civilians. Nagisa and Eiji, two Konoha orphans became the married couple Mebuki and Kizashi Haruno. Hiruzen found it fitting to call them Haruno in deference to Sakura's birth in spring as well as her hair color. Eiji also started to die his silvery blue hair in a fitting magenta color to pose as Sakura's biological father. Nagisa's eye color was similar enough to pass of a relation to Sakura.

Within a year after their arrival in Konoha the pair had seamlessly reintegrated into the village and soon no one even remembered that they had ever NOT been a part of Konoha.

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"An invasion! Jiraiya we gave her up to protect her from harm not to put her in the path of Orochimaru!" an irate Tsunade hissed while she clenched her fists.

Her baby had been in danger and she had been nowhere close to protect her. In the last twelve years she had deliberately kept herself from seeking information about Sakura's childhood to keep herself from even more heartache. The only thing she knew was that she had been put on the same time as Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke and Hatake Kakashi. Tsunade wasn't sure what she should feel about that placement but in the end decided that it wasn't her right to say anything about it. She only prayed that Sakura would not attract more trouble than she was ready for.

"I know! You don't have to tell me that! but she is fine, she had a few cracked ribs from her encounter with Suna's Jinchuuriki but otherwise she was fine."

"Kami-sama." Tsunade mumbled while she buried her face in her hands, a Jinchuuriki?

"She is fine… and she is beautiful." Jiraiya said in a near whisper voice.

Tsunade looked up just in time to see the tender and slightly broken gaze of Jiraiya's.

"She has your face and Hashirama-sama's forehead… her eyes have the typical Uzumaki shape. She is going to grow into a real beauty once she has grown a bit."

The bitter sweet smile on Jiraiya's lips forced Tsunade to look away. She wasn't sure if she could return to the village and lead it and be in such a close proximity to her daughter without ever acknowledging that fact.

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"You have taken her as an apprentice." Jiraiya stated calmly.

Tsunade bit her lip and sighed defeated "I couldn't say no to her. She was so determined and she reminded me of myself when I went to proof that I was more than a pretty face… and, and it's Sakura!"

Jiraiya smiled dryly at that before asking "How is she doing."

At that Tsunade's face lit up "She has near perfect chakra control and easily picks up the medical jutsu I have been showing her. Her chakra capacity also seems to be able to expand; her small reserves don't look like it will be a permanent condition. I will be training with her on that and try to coax more chakra capacity out of her."

Jiraiya laughed at that "Have fun… and take care of our girl."

Tsunade bit her lip before taking a step closer to the father of her daughter and hugged him "Always."

With a gentle kiss to her forehead Jiraiya left the private quarters of the Godaime Hokage, he had to prepare for the journey he would be taking with Naruto for the coming years… and he also wanted to see Sakura one more time before that.

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"How the hell does nobody connect it?" Shizune said somewhat baffled to Jiraiya, she was slightly tipsy from what he could see.

"There is a saying about hiding in plain sight Shizune-chan. Nobody would expect from Tsunade and me to have a daughter, or that said daughter is Tsunade's apprentice."

"But… they look more and more alike with each day, the only thing that differs is the coloring."

"That they do." Jiraiya laughed while he took another drink of the sake.

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

Jiraiya hummed but didn't deny or confirm either way.

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Sakura wasn't sure who was more surprised, Tenzou-taicho or herself. She had been training one on one with Tenzou to increase her reaction time and help him with his wood release when she miscalculated his next attack and was nearly skewered on one of the wood spears. She wasn't even sure what had triggered it exactly but in the next moment she had jumped back into the trees on the training field to get some more coverage and when one of Tenzou's wood clones had tried to sneak an attack on her back the tree on which she sat somehow grew around her and interfered with Tenzou's attack.

Sakura still gaped when Tenzou came to a halt on the branch beside her and inspected the branch that had moved and grown in size to protect Sakura's body.

"Tsunade-sama?"

Sakura could just nod mutely; her shishou could hopefully help with whatever had happened just now.