Hey all! So this is a oneshot series that I wrote for the TH September challenge. I started writing this before we found out what was really wrong with Sam so this is my own spin on what it is. I hope you all enjoy it!
Sam gently laid Scout back down in her crib. It took her a little while longer to get her down this time. She had read in one of her pregnancy books that babies could sense when something was wrong. Maybe that's what was the matter, Scout could sense that her mommy wasn't ok. Sam brushed her finger tip over her cubby cheek and smiled. Sam was completely exhausted. The hallucinations were becoming more frequent and increasingly disturbing. They were now plaguing her in her sleep. But looking down at the beautiful face of her daughter, Sam couldn't help but still feel so blessed that her baby was here when she could have easily lost her.
Sam pulled the baby blanket up over Scout and quietly left the room. She walked past the boy's room and for the first time ever, was thankful they weren't there. Jake was with his mom this week and Danny was still at his sleep away camp for the next 3 weeks. She missed her baby like crazy but knew it was a good thing he wasn't here. With things the way they were with Jason and her right now, it was bad enough Scout sensed the tension. She didn't need Danny noticing it as well.
Sam felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out. It was a text from Jason.
Be home tomorrow.
She felt a pain slice through her heart. That's all he had to say? She knew things weren't great between the right now but 3 words was all he had for her? She shook her head and put the phone back in her pocket, not bothering to reply to him. She wiped the single tear that fell from her eye away. She probably shouldn't have been that shocked. When he left last night to go and tell Sonny and Carly about the danger they were supposedly in, Sam hadn't been real supportive.
***FB***
"There is no one else that can go?" Sam asked him as he pulled down his gun safe. "Max or one of the other guards can't go? Or why not just phone them? Why…?"
"Sam, stop!" he yelled.
Sam jerked back as if he had struck her. "Carly and Sonny are in serious danger. This guy is no joke. They are going to need my help, not just my warning. You know what they mean to me. If you can't understand why I need to go, then you don't understand me like I always though you did." Jason said. He zipped up his duffle bag after he put his gun in and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. No goodbye, no nothing.
Sam stood there frozen. She couldn't believe what he had just said to her. She had always known what Carly and Sonny meant to him and she never once stood in the way of that. But they had a family now. He had a wife and kids. Why couldn't they mean something to him too?
***End FB***
Sam shook herself from the disturbing memory. She wiped the tears that fell away. She didn't know how they got here. They were so happy after Scout's birth. Even though it was dramatic, it was wonderful to be a family. And now it was all falling apart. Sam walked down the stairs and felt a dizzy spell coming one. She stopped and held on to the wall. These were happening more often also. She was getting them a few times a week now. She felt it start to subside and took a deep breath. She really needed to get some rest. But with an absentee husband and a mother who would rather spend time with her abusive ex than help out her daughter, Sam was on her own to take care of Scout. She continued down the stairs but as she reached the landing, everything started to blur. She reached out to grab something to steady her but it was no use. Her legs gave out and she went tumbling down the stairs, hitting her head hard on the wood floor. Her last thought was of her baby upstairs all alone before everything went black.
Lucas and Brad climbed off the elevator and walked to his sister's door. "They aren't allergic to kiwi, are they?" Brad asked his husband.
Lucas chuckled and looked at him with the pie in his hand. They had decided to stop by to see the baby tonight and Brad had been in a baking faze lately. "No, babe, they aren't allergic to kiwi." He shook his head and raised his hand to knock. "Do you hear that?" Brad asked. Lucas listened for a second and heard the faint cry. "Huh, Miss Scout must not be too happy. She clearly misses uncle Lucas." He said, knocking on the door.
"If she misses anyone it's me. She loves me way more than you." Brad needled him. They waited for a second and heard the crying go on but no one came to the door. "You think she's up with Scout? Maybe she can't hear us." Brad wondered. Lucas reached for the door knob and turned it. "It's open." He said. He pushed the door open and called out "Hello? Sam? Jason? Are you…?" he stopped dead when he saw her.
"Call 911!" he yelled to Brad. Lucas raced to his sister's side and immediately felt for her pulse. "She's alive." He felt relief wash over him. "Jason!" he yelled but heard no noise in the apartment other than his niece's cry.
"They're on their way." Brad said in a frantic tone.
"Go check on the baby. I don't think Jason is here." Lucas told him. Brad took the stairs two at a time to go and get Scout.
"Sam?" Lucas leaned down to her. "Sam, can you hear me? Come one, honey, wake up." he sat down by her side for he didn't know how long before he heard the EMT's come in.
They asked a bunch of questions that he could only answer half of. He didn't know what had happened but he would like to know where the hell her husband was and why he wasn't with his wife. After making sure Brad stayed with Scout, Lucas rode in the ambulance with Sam to the hospital. When they got there, they took her back and didn't allow him in. But he trusted Griffin. He was a great doctor and Lucas knew he would take care of Sam. While he waited Lucas called Jason, Alexis and Sam's sisters. Neither Jason nor Alexis answered but Kristina and Molly did. He left messages for Jason and Alexis. Kristina was heading to the hospital and Molly was going to go pick up Scout from Brad. While Lucas sat and waited he found his anger growing. At Jason. At Alexis. And at himself. The last time he had seen Sam was two weeks ago. He had been pulling double shifts since it was summer and the hospital was really busy. But when he had seen her two weeks ago, she 1ooked so tired. She tried to hide it but he knew that she was exhausted. She said it was a temporary thing but he should have done something. He should have made sure. But he figured that with Jason there to help, she would be able to get the rest she needed. Clearly that wasn't the case.
"Lucas" he heard. He looked up and saw Griffin standing in front of him. He stood to his feet and asked "How is she? Is she ok?"
"She will be. She sprained her wrist and has a few bruised ribs. She also has a concussion from hitting her head. Physically, she should be fine in a couple of weeks." Griffin said.
Lucas narrowed his eyes "What do you mean physically?"
Griffin sighed and said "About a month ago, I ran into Sam here at the hospital. She didn't look too good and I offered to look her over. She was really tired and was in and out when we were talking. She was showing signs of having PTSD but when I brought it up, she completely rebuffed it. And she wouldn't let me do any further testing. We drew some blood just to make sure it couldn't be any kind of infection. But I think your sister is in serious denial about what is really wrong with her. And if she doesn't get help, it is going to get much worse."
Lucas couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sam had PTSD? After everything that she had been through in the last few years, it made sense that it would all be too much. He couldn't believe he didn't see the signs. He couldn't believe that Jason didn't. He lived with her and he couldn't see that something was off?
"She is awake right now but she needs to rest. I am going to go and drop off her blood at the lab and then I will be back to give her something to help her sleep." He told him. Lucas moved around him and made his way to her cubical. He walked through the curtain and looked at his sister laying there. Sam had a bandage on her head from where she fell. The circles under her eyes were darker than he had ever seen. And for the first time she saw just how thin she was. She looked even thinner that she saw before she got pregnant with Scout.
He swallowed past the lump in his throat and walked over to sit beside her. He picked up her hand and held it between his. She looked up at him and asked "Where is Scout?"
"Molly is on her way to get her. Brad stayed at the penthouse while I came to the hospital with you. She's fine." She nodded her head. "Why didn't you tell anyone about this, Sam?"
She shook her head "I was hoping it would go away. I was hoping that if I could just get one good night's rest that it would all be fine but even in my sleep they haunt me."
"What haunts you?" he asked.
Sam looked up at her little brother's worried face. The last thing she wanted to do was worry him. "It's nothing…"
"No, Sam stop! This isn't nothing. Finding you at the bottom of your stairs in a pool of blood isn't nothing. Looking like you haven't slept in months is not nothing. Now please tell me what is wrong." He asked desperately.
Sam closed her eyes and let the tears fall "I don't know. I don't know wat is wrong with me. At first, I thought it was a flu bug but then I started hearing voices and having these strange hallucinations. I can't sleep because I can't seem to turn my brain off and Scout, as amazing as she is and how much I love her, she's a lot to handle by myself." She vented.
Lucas shook his head "What about Jason?"
Sam laughed humorlessly and said "Jason? He's too busy helping everyone else. He's down at Sonny's island right now because of some threat he needed to warn him and Carly about. I can't seem to keep him at home for more than 5 minutes to even try and help me. And don't even ask about my mom. Last time I saw her she was having coffee with Julian at Kelley's. She's forgiven him for everything apparently and is now only focused on him." she wiped her cheeks of the salty water falling from her eyes.
Lucas was completely furious. How could the two of them desert her this way? There was no way they couldn't have seen the state Sam was in. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. The last thing Sam needed was more stress. And her health was more important than those two right now anyway.
He squeezed her hand in his and spoke "I know that you don't want to hear this but as your brother and a doctor you need to listen to me. Everything you just described that is wrong with you, they are all sings of you having PTSD"
"Lucas…" she started to say but he cut her off "No, you are going to listen to me. This is not just about you, this is about your kids. You cannot keep going on like this." He took a deep breath and said "When I found you at the bottom of those stairs, I didn't know if you were alive or dead. What would have happened to Scout if Brad and I hadn't come by tonight? We could hear her balling when we walked up to the door." he said.
Sam closed her eyes and tried to shut out the pain of her baby girl all alone. "You are only going to get worse if you don't get help. And there is nothing wrong with needing help, Sam. After everything you have been through, it's a miracle you have made it this far without breaking. So please, for the sake of everyone that loves you, please get the help you need." He begged her.
Sam put her face in her hands and broke down. She shouldn't have let it get this far. She should have demanded Jason take care of his child too. She should have asked for help. She felt Lucas sit beside her and carefully pull her into his arms as she sobbed.
Jason kept the button for the 9th floor pressed so the elevator wouldn't stop. When he got the message from Lucas that Sam was in the hospital, he, Carly and Sonny got on the private jet and came home. He closed his eyes, wishing like hell he hadn't turned his phone off. He hadn't got the message until close to midnight and it took a while form them to gas up the plane. It was 7:30 before they landed. He asked Carly and Sonny to figure out where Scout was so he could head to the hospital. He had tried calling Lucas back but he wasn't picking up. And when he called the hospital they said that they were under strict orders not to allow phone calls to Sam's room because she needed her rest.
The doors opened and Jason shot off the elevator. He headed for the nurse's desk to find out his wife's room number but caught sight of Alexis and Julian talking to Lucas. And Lucas looked pissed. He walked over and heard the tail end of the conversation "… care who you are, you're not getting near my sister. You are part of the reason she's in here."
"Where is Sam?" he asked as he walked up.
Lucas turned his anger to his brother-in-law "Now you want to give a damn about your wife? After leaving her alone to go and relive your glory days?" he snapped.
Jason was taken aback by his tone "Excuse me?" he asked.
"What the hell kind of husband leave his wife alone when he knows that something is wrong? And don't even try to say that you didn't notice something was wrong. And you," he said turning to Alexis "was getting the man that tried to kill you back in your bed so damn much more important than helping your daughter and granddaughter? What kind of a mother choses that over her kids? What kind of a mother would rather have that then a healthy child and grandchild?" he seethed. "Sam has been wasting away and the two of you have been too busy screwing around to give a damn. But that is stopping now." He looked from mother to husband and said "When Sam is released she and Scout will both be coming home with me."
Jason shook his head "My wife and my daughter are coming home with me." He said in a firm tone.
Lucas walked up to him and got in his face "I found your wife at the bottom of your stairs in a pool of her own blood and your daughter upstairs crying her little heart out. I have no idea how long they were left like that. God knows what would have happened to them if Brad and I hadn't stopped by. But I do know that it never should have happened to them in the first place. Your wife is suffering from exhaustion and she had been diagnosed with PTSD because of the hell the people in this town have put her through!"
Jason stumbled back at his words. His heart dropped to his stomach at the thought of what his wife was suffering.
"If you had done your damn job as her husband and Scout's father, they wouldn't be here!" he yelled. "They are coming home with me so that they can get the rest and the help they need and the two of you are going to figure out where the fuck your priorities are." He turned and walked away leaving the three people that helped put Sam in the hospital reeling from his words.
Sam sat on the couch in Brad and Lucas's apartment. She had been released the afternoon she was admitted and agreed to come and stay with them. She was no longer denying that she needed help. All that did was put her in the hospital. She had made an appointment with Dr. Collins before she left for the next day. She needed to figure out how to get better. Danny would be home soon and she didn't want to alarm him. Lucas had told her that Jason and Alexis showed up at the hospital this morning but he wouldn't let them see her. Part of her was glad but the other part of her wanted her husband and her mom. She was scared of what was happening to her. But she had come to realize that she needed to do this on her own. She didn't know what was going to happen with her and Jason. She loved him more than anything but if their family wasn't going to be more of a priority for him, then there was no point in them staying married.
There was a knock at the door and Lucas went to answer it. "Seriously?" she heard him say to whoever was at the door. "You can't keep me from her. I need to see Sam." She heard Jason's voice. She closed her eyes and sighed. She knew they needed to talk and figured that it was best to get it over with.
"I can keep you from her just fine…" Lucas said.
"Lucas, it's ok." she said softly.
He turned to look at his sister and said "You don't have to deal with him."
"I need to talk to him eventually. It's best if I just do it now." She told him.
Lucas turned back around and sighed deeply. He really did not want Sam hurt anymore by him but he knew she was right. He moved out of the way and let him through.
Jason walked into the room and stopped dead when he saw her. Sam watched a look of pain come across his face. This was the first he had seen her since he left to the island. She had a bandage just above her eye. The wound had caused her to have a black eye as well. His eyes dropped to the brace the hospital gave her for her sprained wrist for a moment then back to her. Jason walked closer to her and asked "Are you ok?"
Sam and Jason both ignored the snort they heard from Lucas and Sam answered "I will be."
Jason looked around and asked "Where is Scout?"
Before Sam could answer Lucas said "She's asleep. And she is not getting woken up just for the father that finally decided he gives a shit all of a sudden." He looked to his sister and said "I'm gonna go check on her. Yell if you need me." He shot Jason a glare before going down the hall to check on his niece.
Jason sighed and shook his head. He looked back to his wife and stared at her, sitting with her feet up and looking more tired than he had ever seen her. She looked so weak and that was something that he had never seen before. Even at her worst, Sam was the strongest person he knew. "Sam, I'm so sorry." He started.
"Jason…" she said softly. "No, please. I know I screwed up. I know that I put too much on you to handle. I should have been there more and helped you more. And I promise that from now on things will be different. Just please, let me take you and Scout home." He pleaded.
Sam looked at him and saw the sincerity in his face and she knew he meant was he was saying. But that was the problem. "You know that that is the third time you have promised me things would be different between us?" she asked. "You always make me these promises and I know that you mean them when you say them. I know you want them to be true. But it's not long before someone else's promise means more and you break yours to me." She stated.
Jason stared back at her, devastated by her words because he knew they were true. "Sam…"
She shook her head "I'm not coming home. I can't. For the next two weeks at least, I am going to need a lot of help taking care of our daughter and that isn't something I can rely on you for. Between your need to be everyone else's hero and being a father to Jake, and only Jake, I have had to do it all on my own for a while now. I can't do that anymore. I need help, Jason. And I shouldn't have to ask my husband to help me take care of our kids." She said emotionally. She took a deep breath and continued "I know what Sonny and Carly mean to you. I know that Jake is your son and he needs you. But your wife and two other children need you too. Why are we less important than them? Why don't we matter to you enough like they do?"
Jason's heart broke. How could she think this? How is it possible that she thinks they mean less to him? "Sam, you and our family mean everything to me."
"I know that you love us and that we do matter, but Jason you have seen me struggling lately. And instead of helping me out you jump on a plane so damn fast to put yourself in danger." She said.
"Sam, you have never had a problem with my job before. You were used to me putting myself in those positions. What changed?" he asked softly.
"What changed?" she repeated "October 22nd, 2012 9:19 p.m." she said.
Jason jerked back as it finally clicked for him.
"That was the exact date and time that Sonny told me you weren't coming home. The exact date and time that my entire world fell apart." She said, feeling her eyes sting. "I know that your work was never a problem for me but it isn't just me anymore, Jason. We have a family. We have kids that need their father to put them first. That is something you haven't been doing for a while now."
Jason shook his head and sighed "I will, I promise…"
"Jason, your promises don't mean anything to me anymore!" she exclaimed. "and they obviously don't mean anything to you either because you always break them."
Sam sat back against the couch and closed her eyes, fighting off her tears. "Sam…" he whispered.
"I'm not safe with you anymore, Jason." She said, shattering his heart with her words. "I haven't felt safe with you for a while." She watched the heartbreaking look form in his eyes but she steeled herself against it. This was for the best. "Our marriage isn't a priority for me right now. It can't be. Right now, I need to focus on myself and getting better for the sake of our kids. They need at least one parent to be there for them." She took a deep breath and continued "And you need to decide what it is you really want."
He shook his head, letting his tears fall freely "I want you and our kids. I don't need…" she raised her hand and stopped him. "You need to take the next two weeks and really think about what it is you want to be. Things are different now, Jason. You cannot be a father to our kids and Sonny's enforcer. It has been proven too many time to count that it just can't be done. And I am not going to risk our kids that way. I thought that was something we agreed on but now it's clearly an issue."
"Sam, I am not going back to work for Sonny. This was a one-time thing…" he argued but she stopped him "A one-time thing that led to you blatantly telling me Sonny and Carly were more important to you than being there for me. You turned your back and walked out that door leaving me and your daughter all alone. That isn't someone who is putting their family first. And I am no longer settling for only being important to you when you have time for me to be important. And if that makes me selfish then I guess I'm selfish."
"It isn't selfish, Sam." He said softly.
"Clearly it is if I don't understand what Sonny and Carly mean to you." she shot back.
Jason brought his hands up and covered his face. He didn't know how they got here. They were so happy. They were finally back together after being part for so long. How could it have gotten this bad? He looked back at her and realized just how bad it was. He saw no love in his wife's eyes. They were hollow. She looked so exhausted and he couldn't believe what it had taken him to finally see it. But it was always that way. He only paid attention when he was faced with losing her. More tears filled his eyes as he took a deep breath and said "I love you. More than I have ever loved anything in this world. Everything good in my life is because of you. You and our kids are my life and I know that I have done a poor job of proving it. But I will do anything I have to to prove that to you. I don't have to decide what I want because it's you. It has always been you. I know that you need your space and I will give that to you because you deserve it. But I will never let you go, Sam. I can't. I spent too long without you and I can't do that again. I will prove what you and our life together means to me."
Let me know what you think : )