"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear"
C.S. Lewis
Time had frozen. The world (his world) was crumbling away in front of him
One
Two
Three seconds
and all he could hear was his heartbeat thundering loudly in the space between his lungs and the silence that took the place of where hers should have been.
And the blood. He could hear each drop as it gushed out and fell onto the asphalt. His fur was painted red with it and his eyes burned.
The radio made a soft click as his call was received by the other end. The safe end. The end where she should have stayed. The whole wide world was just too big for one small bunny, although she couldn't have cared less.
His broken sentences were hastily mumbled into the small device as he tried to talk over the pounding in his head.
" Carro-Jud- Officer Hopps"
(His rabbit)
"Nick?"
"Down..."
"What's wrong?"
"She's down Clawhauser."
"What are you talking about?"
"Hurt. Sh-shes hurt."
"Oh right! Down is something you say when there's something wrong which usually means someone's injured or they've- oh my goodness did you say Judy's hurt? Oh no! I'm sending backup right away! Hang on guys!"
"Um... yeah. That."
He was numb, and all he could do was sit there, trying to blink back hot tears that spilled over anyways.
She looked so uncharacteristically small and helpless cradled in his arms that for a moment he thought
Hoped
Wished
Prayed
that there was no way it could have been her. Not his Judy.
Four
Five
Six minutes
Where were the fucking paramedics?
Because there were several claw marks on her arms, cuts on her ears, and a bullet hole in her side. And when he held her close he smelled copper blood and fear and her lavender perfume.
But the scorching cold reality of the situation was finally beginning to sink into his brain, so he held her even closer and inhaled her unmistakable Judy scent that was hidden under all of the blood.
He was faintly aware of the ambulances and police cars when they began surrounding them, engulfing the two with flashing lights and wailing sirens.
And they had to pry her away from his arms but he did get to ride with her in the ambulance. He fiddled with the equipment and growled at anyone who asked him a question which required a response that was more than three words, and held her hand in his own, too afraid to let go.
Seven
Eight
Nine hours
That's how long he waited in front of the emergency room. That's how long he took to get four cups of coffee, call her parents, fill in her paperwork, and make up at least fifty different excuses in his head about why he had to see her right away or else.
That's how long it took everyone to come visit, bearing gift baskets and food and multicolored floral arrangements for his partner. Clawhauser was one of the first visitors, rushing in with a box of donuts in hand and a concerned look in his eyes. The entire precinct soon followed and Nick spent about half an hour sitting between Wolford and a bouquet of red tulips as everyone tried to convince the nurses to let them into the emergency room to see ZPD's finest rabbit officer.
Then came her family. Aunts, uncles, cousins and 237 out of 275 brothers and sisters with carrot cake in their arms and smiles on their faces. Her father was hysterical but her mother gave him a tight hug staining his already dirty uniform with tears and love and hope. She thanked him for protecting her daughter and Nick felt like crying all over again.
"Please don't thank me. I failed ma'am. She's hurt." His words were muttered quietly into the sea of long ears and buck teeth.
She glared at him and for a second, he saw a flash of Judy's trademark spitfire spark in her eyes. And all he remembered thinking was
Huh, so that's where she gets it from.
"Don't you dare say that, Nicholas. We both know that you did better than anyone else ever could. You're always with her, by her side, and she loves you for that; she told me so herself." She hugged him tighter.
He nodded silently because what else could he do.
The Hopps clan traded funny stories and pie filling ideas and life hacks for storing laundry. If anyone cared that there was a lonely red fox siting in the corner looking like he had been chewed up and spit back out, they didn't say, and for that he was grateful.
At two in the morning Finnick walks in with a lazy hand written card and a box of half eaten chocolates from last Valentine's Day. Still, it was the thought that counted. He had never seen his friend bat an eye for anyone else let alone bring them get well presents.
"Damn. You look like shit, Wilde"
Nick raised an eyebrow.
"Good to know." he says, too exhausted to put up a fight
The fennec throws the chocolates and the card onto a pile of other, equally crappy, cards made by Judy's youngest relatives.
"Look, I just came to make sure you wasn't dead yet. So since yer still decently functioning, Imma go home."
With a click of his tongue the tiny fox began to walk away but turned around before going through the door.
"Say hi to yer rabbit for me when she comes back around"
If, Nick wanted to say, If she comes back
A doctor walks out about an hour later. Nick is drowning in all flowers and balloons and hand drawn cards that have accumulated on the bench next to him. He springs up when he hears the whoosh of the opening door but can't find the strength to walk over. Or maybe he can, he just didn't have enough nerve to do so.
The doctor, a doe with tired blue eyes, trots over to him and begins to explain the situation. Nick only catches bits and pieces here and there.
Significant blood loss... in shock...heart stopped...stable now... pain killers... she's fine Mr. Wilde...
Fine?
Fine.
Fine.
Fine.
She was fine.
"You can go see her if you'd li-"
Nick speeds off before she can finish.
He finds that Judy has been moved to a room on the fourth floor, the Critical Care Unit. The monitors that have been positioned around her beep and blink and spew out data that he cannot decipher. He drags a seat over to the side of her bed and begins to talk. And he talks and talks and talks, blurting out random thoughts and nonsense and confessions.
"Delgato basically bought an entire flower shop for you. You should wake up and write him a thank you card or something, or at least a check."
"Your cousin, Nancy, gave me her recipe for roasted yams. You should wake up so I can make some for you."
"Remember that one time you found a donut behind your file cabinet? That was me, not Clawhauser. I accidentally dropped it and didn't want to pick it up. You should wake up and tell me how stupid I am."
But she didn't wake up so he kept talking. And counting.
And at five in the morning when the sun's first rays began peeking through the window blinds he told her that he loved her. And he had half expected her to wake up, like in those silly rom coms she made him watch, and tell him that she loved him back. But she didn't. So he counted.
Ten
ten days
six hours
thirty seven minutes
sixteen seconds... seventeen...eighteen...nineteen
And when the hand that counted the seconds on the clock hit twenty, her eyes fluttered open. He hadn't been there, which had upset him to some degree, but at least she was awake. And so he rushed to the hospital and sprinted up four flights of stairs to get to her room. The elevators sure did choose a great day to go out of service.
All of her gifts had been moved from in front of the emergency room to a table that sat in the far left corner of her room. The blinds were opened and the curtains were pulled back and the sunlight framed her tired face as she laughed with one of the many mammals that were crowded around her bed.
A hush fell over the room as the fox with the sunglasses and floral shirt slowly trotted over to the small, grey rabbit in the bed.
He paused. Looked around. Smirked.
"Damn."
The sunglasses came off.
"You look like shit, Hopps"
And she smiled at him, purple eyes lighting up, and said
"Good to know."
So there he stayed for the rest of the day and the day after that and the day after that until she was deemed fit to go home. And during those days, the fox and the (his) bunny talked. And they talk and talk and talk; about blood and lavender and hospital pudding and ambulances and waiting and sunglasses and flowers and cake and loving and counting.
And time began again and the world was restored.