Author's Note:
Ross and Chris are real people, which is rare in a fanfic. I do not know either of them personally, but I do watch their online web comedy show Hubar TV. I can't post a link but I can tell you to Google that shit if you want a good laugh. Anyway, I had a weird dream where I wrote a fanfic about them and thus this piece of fandom came about. Short, one-shot.
It was just another Monday night. Ross and Chris were getting ready to do their live broadcast for Hubar TV. However, the Internet was not cooperating with them at all. The two were arguing over how to fix it.
"Ross, you're doing it wrong." Chris said as he shoved his co host aside, to get a better look at the computer.
Ross fell to the ground dramatically and rolled around on the floor, feigning pain.
"If you don't stop moaning, I'll kick you like an unwanted puppy." Chris muttered to his friend as he fiddled with one of the wires.
With a smile Ross hopped up to his feet. "An 'unwanted puppy' huh? What the hell does that even mean?"
"Would you have preferred I drown you like an unwanted puppy?"
"Don't people drown kittens, not puppies?"
"Whatever. Would you just shut up, so I can think?"
In mock surrender Ross put up his hands.
"Fuck this shit, I need a smoke."
"Maybe Benny can figure it out."
"That'd be a good thought, if he was here." Chris emphasized the last part of the sentence.
"I forgot he was out of town. You didn't have to be such a dick about it."
"I wasn't being a dick."
"You were totally being condescending."
"No. I wasn't."
"Yes, you were."
Chris rolled his eyes and left the room, to take a much needed cigarette break.
Ross circled the computer but couldn't find any discernible reason the Internet wouldn't work. With a resigned sigh he sat down on the couch and sent a Tweet from his iPhone that due to unforeseeable problems there wouldn't be a show that night.
After awhile Chris came back inside. "Figure it out?"
"No and it's really starting to piss me off."
"I'm going to get a beer, want one?"
"Yeah."
On the way to the kitchen, an envelope caught Chris' eye. Wait a minute…was that the Internet bill? "Fuck!" He swore loudly.
"What's wrong?"
"I forgot to pay the bill."
"Seriously?"
"No, I'm lying. Yes, seriously."
"What the fuck? You've been an asshole all night."
"Yeah well, I'm pissed off."
"So am I but I'm not taking it out on you." Ross had gotten up off the couch and closed the gap between them.
"You'd better take a step back. You don't honestly think you could beat me in a fight do you?"
"You don't think I could take you?"
"You want to find out?"
The two began fighting and were soon rolling around on the ground, wrestling each other. Chairs got knocked over, papers scattered everywhere, and a lamp or two came unplugged as they rolled around on the carpet.
The scuffling came to a stop when Ross squealed, "Ouch! You just bit me!" He disentangled himself from Chris and sat on the floor sucking his injured finger.
"Told you that you wouldn't win."
"But you cheated!"
"Last time I checked, fighting doesn't have any rules to follow. Besides, consider that payback for having me eat all that weird shit on the show."
"Fuck you."