PART ONE - GOD'S IN HIS HEAVEN
From his old apartment, Shinji once again found himself staring down at the barren wasteland of New Tokyo-3. The gigantic lake where the city once stood- now colored by an indescribable mix of water, blood, and LCL fluids- reflected on the sky that had consequently taken a similar color. He'd never been much of a night person in the past, but the morning sky had become a bit too much to bear, the night lights now offering him the only true comfort left on Earth. He looked down at his watch, seeing it was just past noon, and stood up from his spot, making his way out of the complex in hopes of getting a good haul of food from somewhere nearby. With no one left to tell him otherwise, he'd begun using a car he found unlocked about a week after Third Impact with an almost full gas tank to go with it. At first, the sensation of operating a machine that didn't run off his thoughts was extremely disorientating. Once he'd gotten the hang of it, however, he found it a much more comfortable machine than the inside of EVA Unit-01. His driving skills were beginner- if even that- but outside of the cars scattered across certain highways, along with the occasional rogue animal, there was hardly anything that required much driving ability on the road. He got as much food as he could each trip, of course, to conserve as much gas as possible over time, but he stared wearily at the gasometer- teetering near empty- as he once again started up the car and drove away. As he drove down the road, Shinji couldn't help but let his mind drift to the only other person on Earth- the one he'd once shared his apartment with- Asuka Langley Soryu.
Asuka, the girl with a temper somehow hotter than her fiery red hair. He never would've guessed it when they met, but to him now it seemed a given he would eventually fall in love with her. The only one who wasn't content with who he was, the only one that wanted him to be better. It would be silly to claim she did this out of what one would define as 'kindness'.. but he felt in debt to her all the same.
It made what he did to her hurt even more.
He eventually made his way to the grocery store he'd been poaching all his food from. Since it only had to feed one person, the store would likely still have enough food for months, and that along with its proximity to his apartment made it the ideal stop. He got out of the car and again found himself in awe of the half-full parking lots. Some cars with their doors open, some crashed into others, with the LCL fluids of the people who'd died here all but gone. The calm, quiet chaos the entire world took on after Third Impact was a sight to behold, no matter where in the world someone was. He grabbed the shopping cart he'd placed next to his parking spot and walked inside. He again stared up wearily at the light fixture- electricity was still running through the place, but it was clear it wouldn't last long at this rate. He'd never expected it to, of course, and had been pretty much getting exclusively perishable products that wouldn't last long once the lights went out. At this point, a majority of the food he got had gone stale, and of course getting any fruits or vegetables was out of the question. He found himself following the same routine he'd followed for the last few months, grabbing a few bags of chips, along with instant ramen and yakisoba, as he went down the isles. It went by rather quickly, and before he knew it he'd filled his cart to the brim with many 'snack' foods and frozen meals. He made his way towards the exit, but something by the vending machine next to the store's entrance immediately stopped him in his tracks.
Asuka half-heartedly got herself drink after drink, filling them all into a rather large plastic bag she had next to her. She held a constant low hum as she did so, as if to create sound for the sake of sound. Shinji, about 10 yards away from her, watched this scene in complete silence, a blizzard of mixed feelings and thoughts whirling around inside him. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, before realizing he in fact had nothing to say, simply inhaling and exhaling as if he'd lost all other forms of cognitive function. The empty look her eyes had held since he first saw her lying next to him immediately began to tear away at his sanity. She trusted him. She trusted him with her life and he'd used that trust to fulfill his lust in a moment of weakness. That alone was something he could never forgive himself for, and the fact that he could do nothing but watch her as she went along with an empty life only fueled his self-hatred. Why had she come back? After she saw his each and every thought during Instrumentality, she and she alone had come down to him, to live out the rest of her life with no guarantee of any other company. Had she done it merely to spite him? To remind him every time they saw each other that he deserves every hardship that ever has come or will come his way? That's the only answer that made much sense to him.
"You made a girl cry, run after her!"
The voice of Hikari, his former class rep, rung in his head on queue. He shook his head, but the voice continued to get louder all the same. Eventually, all other thoughts were drowned out. This was when he'd first gotten to know Asuka, of course, so it was a memory he held dear. It was also the first time she ever let him see the part of her she usually hides.
Still, Shinji could say nothing. He put his hands over his ears and closed his eyes in a futile attempt to stop the voice inside his head.
"Shinji..."
He shook his head harshly once more.
"Shinji..."
Again, he shakes his head in an attempt to ignore the noise.
"..Hey, Shinji!"
All of a sudden, a massive force hit him on the head, knocking him back and leaving him dazed for a few seconds as anger suddenly built up inside him.
"What was that for!?"
"You're the one who was standing there looking like an idiot."
He came to, finding Asuka standing over him with mild annoyance plastered on her face. He gulped. They'd seen each other a couple of times by chance since she'd arrived here, but neither of them had said anything during those encounters. The fact he was on the floor right now was a shock.
"A-Asuka..."
"Yeah?"
His voice got caught in his throat for a moment before he continued, "..I-I'm sorry..."
Her annoyance grew larger, "For what? You better not still be stuck on that."
Shinji slowly stood himself up, face to face with her, as he tried to speak with more confidence, "Clearly you are too, you can't even say it."
Asuka chuckled deviously, "Say what? That you jerked off while looking at my comatose body? We've already established you're disgusting."
Despite being shocked by how quickly Asuka said it, Shinji couldn't act too surprised- she'd always been this way, "Well, of course I'm still sorry over that..."
Asuka sighed, annoyance turning to disappointment, "I should've expected as much... sorry doesn't cut it. If you really want to start making it up to me, go with me somewhere." With that, she started to walk away for a few moments before realizing she heard no footsteps behind her, turning her head back, "Are you coming or not?"
He contemplated this, not wanting to do anymore to upset her but also not wanting to take a detour, "Well, I don't kn-"
Asuka grabbed his wrist with her free hand, almost viciously before dragging him ahead, "Don't be an idiot, what else do you even have to do? Hurry up, I'm not going to drag you the whole way." She smiles triumphantly, "After all, you're driving me there~"
"Why!? Don't you have your own car?"
Asuka briskly made her way to his car, "The thought of getting one never crossed my mind, but never mind that." She swung her arm out, sending him flying into the car as he struggled to regain his balance. "A girl asks you on a date and you get upset over having to drive? You should die a virgin."
Though Shinji found himself wanting to get mad at this, a weird part of him had missed Asuka's patented verbal barrages.
"Fine, fine, I'll drive you! Just tell me where you want to go."
"Well, I don't know the exact way..."
Shinji got in the car and started up the engine, "I guess I should've expected as such..."
Asuka got in right after, crossing her arms, "Once we're in the general area I'll know where to go! Just drive me to our apartment and I'll tell you where to go from there."
They drove back down the road, once again passing the same scenery that would forever fill the environment. They stayed in silence for a few minutes, silence filled by nothing but the sound of the engine and the music from the disc Shinji had put in earlier.
Asuka finally broke the silence, "Well... what have you been up to?"
A good question, Shinji didn't entirely know the answer himself- at times feeling like he was just living for the sake of killing time, "You know, whatever, I guess."
She sighed, "Yeah, I had my doubts that someone who's lived his entire life at the direction of others would adjust well to being the only person in a mile radius."
Shinji let out a small giggle, "Yeah, you were right in feeling weary. It's pretty lonely..."
"At least you get Pen-Pen, I've had no kind of social interaction at all!"
"Well, actually..."
"Hmm?"
"..Nothing."
With that small exchange completed, they once again went silent for a while. Shinji attempted to peer at Asuka through the front mirror, luckily going unnoticed in doing so. Despite the months that had passed, not much had changed in her appearance. She kept her fire red hair the same length at all times, and she hasn't grown taller. However, he couldn't help but notice that her assets seemed to have grown a little before focusing back on the road.
Deciding he needed to say something to get it off his mind, he asked about the only other thing on it, "What exactly are you looking for?"
Her face reddened at the question, "That's none of your business! You'll find out when we get there, alright!?"
"A-Alright..." Shinji went silent in the face of such a violent reaction, and remained so for the rest of the ride.
Eventually, they made it back to his apartment, and Shinji turned to face Asuka, "Where do we go from here?"
"Hmm..." Asuka thought it over for a moment, "Mind if we stop here for now? I'm sure Pen-Pen misses me, after all. We can get going again in an hour or so."
"..Alright, if you're fine with that." Shinji decided he'd rather her see for herself than try to tell her Pen-Pen was gone.
"I'm the one who suggested it, so of course I am."
They took to the stairs, walking past abandoned room after abandoned room of the lifeless complex. Asuka had plenty to say about the state of things, but for Shinji, they were mostly going in one ear and out the other. He gulped silently, recalling all the memories they'd shared here. Everything from fighting to kissing... surely her intentions weren't to make another one? He blushed at the thought of it.
Asuka's voice suddenly got caught in her throat before coming out in a more vitriol tone "Hey, just because we're alone together doesn't mean you can think about anything perverted!" She gave him a disciplinary smack on the back of the head.
Shinji, with no reasonable retort in mind, simply nodded solemnly, "Yes, Ma'am..."
Before too long, they appeared in front of the apartment door, the only one in the area not coated in dust. Shinji opened the door, which was unlocked for obvious reasons, and started to walk inside before a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind.
"Ladies first~"
Asuka took the initiative and walked ahead of him, going toward her room as Shinji closed the door behind him. Despite it not being necessary, it's clear that Shinji has kept the place as clean as possible- there wasn't any trash to be found, and the floor had clearly been recently vacuumed. Asuka opened the door to her room and found, to her surprise, that it stood untouched, "I'm surprised! I wouldn't expect you to respect a lady's privacy." After taking a moment to look around her room, she closed the door and turned towards him, "So, thank you."
Shinji scratched the back of his head out of reflex, "It's nothing worth thanking me for.. I just thought you'd like it this way?"
"Even if there was no guarantee I'd ever come back?"
"Well, yeah. It's still your room."
"Well, I would've eventually come here sooner or later, so I can't fault you." Asuka smiled, turning to another door and now opening it, "After all, I had to make sure Pen-Pen was being taken care of!"
Her expression quickly dimmed and twisted in confusion, the penguin nowhere to be found. She turned to Shinji, "Where is he?"
"Sorry, Misato moved him to a different house a while back, she thought he'd be safer elsewhere."
"Oh! Well, that's a-" Her momentarily brightened expression dimmed even more than before, realizing the full implication of the statement, "...oh."
Not able to say anything, Shinji bit his lip, somewhat upset at himself for not warning her beforehand.
"Why didn't you tell me before we left?" Anger rose from her voice for the same reason, "Coming here was completely unnecessary!"
"I just thought you'd like to see for yourself, I don't know if you would've believed me."
Asuka sighed, slowly closing the door, "You're right.. out of all the people who could've gotten to know me that well, it had to be the idiot..." After a long moment, she looked up, attempting to change her downtrodden expression, "Why am I even upset? It's just a penguin..."
Shinji smiled, "I felt the same way, anyone would. He's innocent, after all."
"Yeah..." She clapped her cheeks a couple of times, regaining her composure, "..Anyways, Shinji, make me something. I don't feel like heading out on an empty stomach."
"Oh? Sure, just give me a couple minutes. Be warned, though- it's mostly stale."
"Do you think I haven't been eating this whole time or something? All the food I eat is stale."
Oh, right, that was obvious. Shinji languished over his unrelenting density as he put on his apron and let himself get into the zone, intensely focused on preparing a couple of simple sandwiches, which he was able to accomplish in just a few minutes. He silently passed a plate to Asuka and sat down across from her, watching as she took her first bite. Her eyes popped open, surprised, as she swallowed.
"You know.. I've never said anything about it, not that I'd have any reason to, but you're seriously good at making food. Everything I've eaten these past few months has tasted like shiiiiiit."
Shinji, himself surprised at her appraisal, asked her something a little too enthusiastically, "Y-You really mean it!?"
Asuka couldn't help but laugh at this, "Why would I lie? I wouldn't tell you that you were good at something like making food if you weren't. I hate eating shitty food." She sighs exasperatedly, "No matter how many books I read, everything I make turns out crappy... I've never been one for finer tasks."
Shinji finally took a bite out of his food, "That's for sure."
"It's a good thing the finer things are all you're good at, otherwise we'd be fucked." She smirked in an attempt to prod at him.
"Really now? I thought I was doing just fine actually. Who's the one that came up to me?"
"Who's the one that froze at the sight of me?"
"Only because I knew it'd end up this way."
"You knew? Wow! Perfect Shinji's even more perfect than I thought!"
"Objectively speaking, I'm probably the best out of everyone on Earth at a lot of things, so you're probably right on the money!"
Asuka couldn't help but break first, giggling at the last statement. There wasn't any good comeback coming to mind, so she simply wolfed down the rest of her sandwich before changing the topic, "I'm ready to get going. How about you?"
"I suppose."
The two of them quickly made their way down the unchanging landscape of the apartment until they again found themselves in the car.
A question popped up in Asuka's mind as they sat inside, "How'd you end up picking this car, anyway?"
"Huh? Oh. I didn't actually pick based on anything, I just got in the first working vehicle I found."
"Ahhhh, the 'Stupid Shinji Method' in full effect. Do you even know anything about cars?"
"Not really, they've never interested me much." Shinji tilted his head, "Why do you ask?"
Asuka simply sighed, "Typical Japanese response..."
"What's that supposed to mean!?"
"Cars were all the rage back in Germany! If I never as piloted an Eva, I'd have driven around in a Mercedes.. you got lucky, this car worked perfectly earlier."
"I wasn't expecting it to go so smoothly myself..." He inserted his key into the ignition and twisted it, at which point it became apparent his luck had ran dry, "...I'm all out of gas."
"What? How!?"
"It was teetering on empty for a long while, it was bound to run out eventually! You're the one who made me leave behind my food, now what am I supposed to do?"
"What am I supposed to do..." Asuka's expression quickly turned confused, "..You know how to refill a gas tank, right?"
"I-I didn't know how to turn on the machines, or what gas I needed to put in..."
Asuka sighed in the most drawn-out manner possible, "You're a rare breed of idiot, for sure. Where's the nearest gas sta- wait, I remember. Wait here, I'll be back in half an hour or so!"
Before Shinji could get a word in edgewise, Asuka had bolted out of the car and went forward with a one track mind. Shinji performed his best imitation of Asuka's sigh, slumping down into his seat and letting his mind wander. Why was Asuka being so friendly with him? Of course, it was still imbued with her typical icy overtone, but even knowing what he did to her, she seemed.. kinder than before? Like a huge weight had been on her shoulders the whole time. Had it been Instrumentality? He'd learned the context behind how Asuka lost her mother, something he could slightly relate with despite being a lot younger when he lost her and losing her under somehow less traumatizing circumstances, and he felt her desire to be cared for... that confused him more than anything else. Surely a girl like her could be with any guy she pleased- could she really be that self-deprecating? The more time that passed between Instrumentality and the present, the more the limitations of it he'd noticed from the start became clear. Sure, he'd been connected with humanity, of one mind and body, but he wasn't able to bring himself to care. He'd been like.. that with Ayanami, but felt nothing in the process. He didn't get it at the time, but it became clear that while significant thoughts and memories revealed themselves, feelings were never directly revealed. He'd been able to come to a breakthrough and find his own happiness during it- sure- but that was what had pushed him to return in the first place. Had Asuka had the same revelation, her own breakthrough? As much as he felt antsy with her at the moment, the thought of such a conclusion reaching her warmed his heart. The only other question on his mind involved the both of them. Sure, Asuka had seen the way he'd violated her comatose body, but that by itself said nothing. Did she get how he felt about her? Did he even get how he felt? The crippling doubt ate away at him.
His thoughts drifted like this for a while, but before he could think about these things for too long, Asuka returned- a gas canister in hand- as she popped open the car's gas lid.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? I'm filling the car with gas."
"Oh.. thank you."
"Dumbass... make sure to use a bit of speed when you're driving, I don't feel like taking forever to get there."
"Alright, where?"
"Um.." Asuka peered over the city for a second before pointing ahead, "Just drive to the big hole." She got in the car as she said this.
Shinji just blinked. It was obvious what Asuka referred to, the huge carving of land that led to the Geofront. He hesitated. After all, what could Asuka want in there? Surely nothing to do with NERV or the Angels, or... it couldn't be...
His thought process was again interrupted, this time by a violent shake of his shoulders, "Beep beeeep, Earth to Idiot! Why are we sitting here?"
"S-Sorry..." He backed out of the parking lot, frowning at the look of Asuka's disappointment, before starting towards the Geofront. He had a good idea as to why she'd look so disappointed, given the lack of any growth he'd shown when it came to not apologizing for every single thing. Something that deeply ingrained into him couldn't disappear in just a few months.
Asuka took a moment to begin speaking again, "Well, whatever. We're going now, so we'll probably still get there before nightfall..."
Shinji looked ahead out of the window, what remained of the city slowly entering his vision. The site depressed him- everything and everyone he'd held dear really was gone. Of course, he came to this revelation many times over the course of the past few months, but it never fully clicked. His school, along with the friends he'd made within it, now belonged to the past. His vision turned blurry as his eyes watered a little, though he quickly wiped it away before Asuka could notice. He had been worried earlier, and still had some fear, but despite everything he really was so happy she'd talked to him today. He'd been lonely before Third Impact, but a world occupied by him and only him was a kind of loneliness he couldn't bare. He didn't even know if he'd be alive today, had Asuka not come back when she did...
"Humans need restrictions put on them... they need to see others to know their shape."
He thought back on the amalgamation of reality he'd experienced during Instrumentality. The voice of everyone and no one had told him this, and though he knew what it meant at the time, he was only now able to feel what it meant. Looking at, talking to, and being with Asuka validated his existence, it validated his reasoning behind letting people return to Earth if they please. He hadn't realized it earlier, but even when he'd gotten to know Rei, Touji, and Kensuke, a part of him was still empty until it was ignited by her appearance. Instrumentality was, as much as he disliked it, a truly wholesome sensation that he'd never felt before. If there was anything he missed about it, it's that.
Before he knew it, they'd arrived at the edge of the surface, a long, steady- if jagged- slope leading down to the Geofront. Around a month ago, when his curiosity got the better of him, Shinji had figured out that, unsurprisingly, none of the lifts worked anymore. Seeing as Asuka told him to stop here, he assumed she'd deduced the same. They both got out of the car, and before Shinji could say anything, she started to run down the hill.
"Hey! Don't just go running off all gung-ho like that!" He called out in distress.
Finding a steady platform to stop on, Asuka turned around and faced him, "And what, let you beat me to the bottom? Fat chance!" She stuck her tongue out at him before continuing her descent.
Shinji sighed, "I wasn't even going to race you..." He actually thought about racing her for a moment, but eventually decided against it. The air here, after all, was a special level of awful. Asuka was sure to tire out before she reached the bottom. Shinji's eyes instead began to track the growingly more detailed Geofront. The formerly serene war fortress now served as nothing more than a reminder of what Hell is. The impaled S2 EVAs stood out like a sore thumb, along with...
Unit-02, if you could even call it that anymore, stood out more than all the other carnage around it. Shinji mused on this for a moment- even in death, 02 was a spectacle. He looked at Asuka, who was moving at a more timid pace than earlier- albeit still faster than him. He couldn't find anything to say to her until they reached the end of the hill, Shinji finally deciding to pick up his pace and run up to her.
Asuka smirked triumphantly, "Ehh? The invincible Shinji couldn't even beat me in something as simple as running? What a disappointment."
Shinji frowned, "There aren't even any Angels left, how long are you going to keep doing this?"
Asuka threw her hair up in a flaunting manner, "Until the day I die, and even then, I'll come back and do it some more. After all, who else is left to treat this way?"
"You say that, but you didn't treat me any differently in the past."
"Hmm..." Asuka pondered this for a moment before her smirk turned into a full on grin, "guess you're right!"
Shinji groaned in defeat, "Look, we're here, so can you please tell me what we're doing?"
Her grin dimmed a little, "I wanted to check up on my EVA, is all. Got a problem with that?"
Shinji looked ahead wearily, "No..." but what was Asuka hoping to accomplish? It was clear as day that everything about her EVA had become a skewered mess of mincemeat, he could hardly bear the sight, "but why did I have to come with?"
Asuka had a harder time answering this question, "B-Because, you're Shinji! You're an EVA pilot, just like me! So we have to stick together, especially when we're checking on our respective EVAs, alright!?"
"Alright... I wasn't going to leave at this point either way- not when we've gone this far. I just wanted to know why."
"Well now you know, so shut up!"
Shinji grimaced, "Yes, ma'am." He'd clearly struck a nerve inadvertently. He knew Asuka could be a short fuse at times, but it was rare he saw her this on edge. On closer inspection, he noticed that she was shaking rather violently. He wanted to help, but was afraid of asking anything too personal, so he compromised, "A-Are you cold?"
"Well, I just-"
"I'm NOT cold, so shut up!" Her previous playfulness had completely vanished, leaving nothing but an angry, nervous, and vulnerable girl looking at him now. It scared him.
"S-Sorry! I just... felt a bit cold..."
Asuka turned back around and resumed walking toward her EVA at a much more intense pace than she was a minute ago. Shinji kept up with her, but merely trailed behind her. He shook his head. He really was such an idiot, a loser, a pervert, all of what Asuka had previously described him as. It was for this reason he didn't say anything the rest of the way. The atmosphere between them has grown increasingly more tense as they'd made their way down here, and now it was best described as constricting. Only able to walk and breathe in the face of her blood red presence. An impenetrable Wall of Jericho, as she'd previously described it, separated them. Even at their most intimate moments, he felt it there, denying him any form of relationship with her outside of whatever... this was. His mind again wandered back to the eternal question, why had she come back? Why was she here? Certainly not for him, he could figure out that much. For EVA Unit-02? Maybe, but in that case, what would she do once it clicked in her mind that it would never move again..?
He perished the thought. Someone as strong and prideful as Asuka would never succumb to something like that, right? If she would, she wouldn't have come back. Of that, he was sure. He was sure. He had to be.
After what seemed to be an eternity, they arrived in front of Unit-02. Shinji, still behind Asuka, angled himself in such a way that he could read her face. It was pretty much the same as before, but the anger had completely subsided. She timidly reached out her hand, slowly stretching it towards the skin of the EVA. Finally, her hand stroked it, in a manner more gently than she had for anyone else. Her entire body convulsed on contact, and a fraction of despair seemed to course through her entire demeanor.
"Ugh..."
Shinji was paralyzed by the completely foreign sight in front of him. Tears formed in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks, staining the already muddled surface below them as they fell to the ground.
"God fucking damn it... I promised I wouldn't cry, and I even brought that idiot with me, so why..? M-M-"
Shinji wasn't just scared of losing Asuka at this point, he was terrified. He felt like if he didn't reach out now, his darkest fears really would come to fruition. So, as if out of instinct, he now found himself clinging to her from behind.
"It's okay, Asuka..."
"H-Huh!?" Asuka turned around as best she could, already falling tears still streaming down her face as she pushed away, "No it-"
Shinji redoubled his efforts, his grip around her tightening, "It's okay! You don't have to cry by yourself, so..." a new set of tears dampened Asuka's shoulder, "please don't leave me alone again..."
She couldn't help but smile, her tears dried up a little quicker than she'd expected, and how could they not? She'd never experienced this before, "W-What the Hell... I'm having a personal moment of my own, but all you care about is being alone? Like I'd kill myself, idiot."
After a moment like this, Shinji pulled away to- though he didn't know it- both of their dismay, and felt a cog begin to turn inside of him, "Y-You know about my mother, right?"
Asuka's composure returned to her a bit quicker than Shinji's, "How could I forget? We kissed on the anniversary of her death."
"Actually... you're wrong about that."
"Ehhh? How so?"
Shinji, now recomposed as well, told her just how, "I couldn't believe it myself... but mother was with me all along, in my EVA! I thought I'd been alone all this time, but ever since I got here..." he smiled, "she'd been protecting me. I never knew because I was scared of being honest, but opening up let me see that I was not alone. That's why I couldn't watch you looking like that..."
Asuka's face turned into one of clear exasperation.
Shinji was perplexed himself by the sudden shift in expression, "W-What is it?"
She needed to tell him, but felt herself holding back at the last moment, "...Oh, uhh, that's just really crazy, is all!"
"Y-Yeah. It was." That was all Shinji could say, but he could've sworn she hesitated. He decided to drop it for now, however, with more immediate issues at hand, "Well...what are you going to do now?"
Asuka seemed to be lost in thought, turning again to stare at her dead EVA for a long time, before inhaling, ready to answer, "We give her a proper burial, like you have for so many already. She's earned it at the very least."
"She?"
"That's just how I've chosen to refer to her as now." Asuka smiled, "I'll tell you why when I feel like it, but for now, it's a secret~"
"Even after I told you my EVA's big secret? You're no fun..."
She couldn't tell him that that's exactly why she felt the need to keep it secret, so she came up with something on the spot, "If I didn't keep the secret, there'd be nothing for you to think about. See? That's a lot more fun."
Shinji scratched his head, conceding the point, "Well, I'm not entirely sure how you plan on doing this, but if you have a plan, I'm in."
He returned her smile with one of his own before looking up at the sky, the brightest stars of night already showing themselves against the quickly darkening canvas, "Want to head back to the apartment for now? It's really starting to get late."
Asuka's gaze followed his, surprised to see how much time had passed, and sighed, "I suppose so.." she looked back down and gave Shinji a questioning look, "but from the sound of it, you're fine with sharing an apartment with me?"
"It was ours in the first place, why not?"
"..Fine, but we're going with separate rooms again. Remember- Jericho." Asuka emphasized.
"Of course! I just want to give you a place to sleep, and it'll be easier for us to commute that way."
Asuka smirked, "Your reasoning is sound, but we both know what you really want." She laughed faux-seductively.
"What were you expecting!? I'm 14."
"Probably the worst behaved, unmannered, childish, primal 14-year-old in existence," she flicked his head, "but yes, a 14-year-old. Now, ready to get beat back uphill?" Her smirk turned competitive as she ran ahead of him.
Shinji, however, followed close behind, "No way!"
They found themselves a lot more competitive than earlier. The air was a lot more manageable at night, which was really the only reason Shinji bothered. To his surprise, however, that boost was all he needed to get to the top a step ahead of Asuka.
She grimaced, raising her chin into the air, "I only let you win so we'd be even tomorrow."
Now it was Shinji's turn to smirk, "Really? Because I didn't even know we'd started counting yet- I walked the first time, after all."
Asuka pouted, "Dooooon't caaaaare."
"Of course you don't..." Shinji, catching his breath, walked the rest of the way to the car and again sat in the driver's seat.
Asuka walked right up to him, "Hey, can I drive?"
"Maybe tomorrow, but for now I just want to get home as quickly as I can. I'm tired."
"No fun..." She got in on the other side, sitting shotgun.
"You're sitting up front now?"
Asuka nodded, "Better view, obviously. I would've sag here the first few times, but I didn't want to look like I was coming onto you." She turned her head to face the side window, "Now, drive."
"Alright..."
If there was anything that bugged Shinji about Asuka, more than anything else, it was how overtly self-conscious she acted regarding anything that showed any emotion. It felt weird thinking that, seeing as she seemed to always aware her emotions on her sleeve, but he noticed her quirks in this regard much more than he had before. She had a tendency to doublespeak and backtrack whenever she could be interpreted as showing weakness, and it had begun to bother him in the weeks leading up to her mental breakdown. Her sudden crying from earlier was the first time he could recall her consciously letting him see any weak side of her, and it was honestly refreshing.
"Hey, Asuka..." he began.
"Hmm?"
He didn't know exactly how to put it, so he spoke carefully, "If there's ever something you really want to get off your chest, uh... well, I'm more than willing to hear you out." He found himself smiling as he focused on the road. "After all, we're the only people we can talk to, right?"
Asuka blushed lightly, in spite of herself, "Uh, yeah." She looked back outside, muttering to herself, "It's not like I need to talk things out, but..." she didn't mind it.
Despite not seeing her blush, Shinji's smile widened all the same.
Eventually, they got back to the apartment. They wordlessly walked back up to the apartment and were back inside by the time Asuka decided to break the silence, "Could you make me something else to eat? It's gotta be around time for dinner."
"Hmm?" Shinji looked back at her, "It's not like you to ask kindly." He said teasingly.
"Well, I'm asking tonight, so count your blessings." Asuka let out a grunt and sat down on the table.
Shinji put on his apron and went about his usual business, assessing his kitchen. It didn't take him long to identify tonight's meal: a grilled spam and cheese sandwich. He pulled four slices of bread and two slices of cheese from the freezer, letting them thaw as he started cooking up the spam. He then put the sandwiches together, cooking them as well. A few minutes later, his food was completely cooked. He pulled the slices apart, putting spam meat in between both sandwiches and finally serving them, again sitting down across from Asuka.
"Aren't you going to get something to drink?"
"Didn't you get drinks this morning?"
Asuka's face pressed together, "Oh, duh." She pulled out a drink for both of them, taking a sip from hers before continuing, "Thanks for the meal." She half-heartedly put her hands together for a second before taking a large bite out of her food.
The contrast in enthusiasm between the actions was enough to get a giggle out of Shinji.
"And washo funny?" She spat out, still chewing on her food.
"Nothing, nothing. You just reminded me of Misato just now."
Asuka fake-choked on her food for a moment before swallowing, a grimace washing over her, "Please, anyone but her."
"I don't know..." Shinji sighed, "You and her are vastly different people if you ask me, but neither of you are bad people, not in the slightest." He took a bite out of his own food, which would be bittersweet if not for the complete lack of either taste.
Asuka couldn't help but frown, her chin falling into her hand, "Fuck, it's lonely around here..."
"Tell me about it."
The rest of the meal passed in relative silence. By the time all was said and done it was only 9:30 PM, but they both felt tired regardless.
Asuka stood up, stretched out and let out a mighty yawn, "I'm tired. Wash my plate for me. See you tomorrow."
"Of course."
Shinji started to wash the plates when Asuka's voice called out one last time.
"Thanks for letting me stay... consider yourself, like, half-forgiven I guess. Good night." She walked into her room, closing it before Shinji could say anything in response, so he simply sighed, smiling for a moment before focusing on cleaning the plates.
With everything taken care of, Shinji soon found himself in bed as well, the SDAT player buzzing at a low enough volume to let him hear his own thoughts. All told, things had probably gone much better today than they had any right to. Asuka's usual antics were intact, much more so than the last few times he'd talked to her, and he supposed some form of normalcy would return to their daily lives soon enough as long as she rooms here. There were some things, however, that were undeniably different. Her antics seemed to carry a much more mellowed out tone to them, and he still couldn't shake the image of her hollow eyes from when he'd first seen her today out of his head. Perhaps most miraculous of all was that he'd seen her cry. Asuka! Someone who he assumed would make him cry a million times before she said a single tear. It was slightly amusing to think about, but most of the amusement he could've taken out of it was overshadowed by his worry. What in the world was her EVA's secret? Surely, it couldn't be the same secret as his. Asuka's mother, as far as he could tell, had physically died after all. But what if it was..?
He had to stop himself from panicking over the thought the moment he felt it rising, sure if he let that train of thought continue, he'd be up all night.
Just focus on the matter at hand, Stupid Shinji.
A/N: Hello everyone, this is the first story I've written for the Evangelion fandom and am excited to finally release the first of the two parts I'm planning on writing for it. I challenged myself by writing a post EoE fic focused solely on Shinji and Asuka, as only having two characters interact with each other for an entire chapter, while something I've done before, is something I've never done even close to this extent. Here's hoping that it didn't drag too much at times and the characters acted believable to you all! Any feedback is appreciated.