A/N: Ok this is my first fanfic. So please forgive me for any grammatical and spelling mistakes and please, please review. I need constructive criticism. Plus reviewers get a cookie! :)
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Twilight. If I did, I would be writing real books and making real money, not fanfiction.
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Esme POV
I drove to the school and parked the car. Nervously, I walked to the principal's office wondering what my "children" had done this time. Although I was a vampire, I was constantly fidgeting.
I knocked on the door and heard a gruff "Come in". Obviously, he was not in the best of his moods. Definitely not good!
"Ah, Mrs. Cullen It's nice to see you again (A/N he must have seen her when she and Carlisle decided to enroll their "children" in school) Please, take a seat," He said.
"Please call me Esme"
"As you wish. As you might have guessed, I called you on accounts of some of the behavior of your children," he said, turning slightly redder. Oh great, this was not going to be good.
"You see, giving them detentions have very little effect. So, I was hoping you could help me in stopping such…uh...inappropriate behavior in school."
"Of course Mr. Waltz (A/N I forgot who the principal was. Sorry. I have no clue why I came up with Waltz. No offense to anyone if they have the same name.) But what have they done this time. And, more importantly, which one, or should I say, two did it?," I asked.
"Well, the 'who' part is easy ---- all of them. As for the 'what' part, that's more complicated. You see, I'm sick of giving them detentions. And frankly, I feel too embarrassed to do so after catching them…uh…in the act."
Still puzzled, I waited patiently. The poor man had started turning redder with each word. Seeing no other option, he continued, "Actually, you see, Alice and Jasper thought it would be funny to spend the first four classes in the janitor's closet. I was unfortunate enough to walk in on them during lunch. I was headed for the cafeteria, when I suddenly decided to check there for something" So that explained why Alice hadn't seen it coming. He continued "I would have given them detention but seeing their…uh…state, I had to leave them alone."
I was shocked! If I could, I would have blushed harder than him at the moment. Alice and Jasper! They did not do such things….or maybe; I was just unaware of them. Wait he said he was sick of giving them detentions. That meant…..
"Exactly how many detentions how many detentions had they had?" I asked. He looked embarrassed. Checking some papers, he said, "Without counting yesterday 47."
To say I was livid was an understatement. I could see my rage reflected in the man's eyes. Trying to be calm I said, "Please continue."
By now, he was scarlet." Next would be Emmett and Rosalie. They…uh…skipped school completely 2 days ago and were found in one of the park benches again unfortunately by me. I ran from there and shouted them to stop. They didn't listen. I ----"
I cut him off, "I understand your position. Anyone would have done the same. As for my children, they'll deserve what they get" I growled. "Anyway, please tell me what Edward did." Now I could imagine (though I didn't want to) the others doing this. But Edward, especially with Bella, was really hard to see.
"Well actually, Edward hasn't done anything…yet. I add his name as a precaution. Sure he and Bella have had pretty…intense moments, but nothing more than that. Even no skipped classes!"
At least one of them was sensible. I smiled a little, but immediately grimaced when 'thoughts' of my other children crossed my mind. "Mr. Waltz, I am very glad you informed me of this and would appreciate it if you could call them her so that I could 'talk' to them."
"Of course not" he said looking a little triumphant. He made the announcement and they trooped into the office five minutes later. During those five minutes, I tried to calm myself for Jasper's sake and started translating Romeo and Juliet into Arabic. Romeo and Juliet, how ironic.
Mr. Waltz spoke and addressed them as they came in, "Mr. Cullen, Miss Hale, Mr. Hale, Miss Cullen, Mr. Cullen and Miss Swan --- thank you for coming" he said. All six of them nodded slightly before turning their eyes to me.
"Mr. Waltz was telling me about some the things you do here" I glared at them and they flinched. Better. "Alice, care to explain why you were in the janitor's closet with Jasper yesterday?"
"But we didn't get any detentions. It's not fair to punish us now" she whined.
"On the contrary, instead of your detention, I am here." Just then I heard a sort of whoop. All eyes went to Emmett, even Rosalie's. He gulped and said, "well, no offense Esme, but you're too…gentle. Carlisle gives worse punishments. You ---"
I interrupted him. "Is that so? Well how do you like this one --- your not to lay a hand on Rose for a whole week." Immediately, Edward started laughing and Emmett started crying (well not really crying as vampires cannot cry. He was dry sobbing and shouting thinks like "Please mom", "You're the best mom" and "I love you mom") Both Rose and I rolled our eyes.
"As for your punishments ---" I started to say but was cut off by Rose. "What for?"
I glared at her, "for the park bench incident" She flinched. Good. I continued, "You'll hand over your car…" Jasper opened his mouth "…and bike keys…" he closed it again "…right now." (A/N Sorry, my timeline isn't correct. In my story, all of the Cullens attend school but Alice already has her Porsche and Jasper already got the Ducati)
"But how are we supposed to get home?" Rose screeched. "Walk" I said and added in vampire speed, "at human pace" Rose was livid, it was raining today, and so she would get her hair wet!
Edward laughed his loudest this time and Bella just looked confused. I immediately turned towards them. He froze in mid-laugh. "What did we do? We didn't even get one detention. Ever!"
"As I said before, you get me instead of one. "But what for?" Bella asked.
"Well…" I started but couldn't think of anything. I turned towards Mr. Waltz. Looked like he remembered something. "The prank you played on Mr. Newton wasn't nice" he said. "No, but it was very funny" Alice said in between giggles. "Besides, there's no proof we did it." Bella added. I noticed she was blushing. That's proof enough!
"What did they do?" I asked genuinely curious. Mr. Waltz answered, "Apparently, someone told Mr. Newton that Miss Swan wanted to propose to him and in his haste to reach her before Mr. Cullen, he ran out of the locker room completely naked!" Immediately I had to choke back giggles.
"That was very wrong" I said quite unable to glare. Really?I thought. Edward nodded slightly trying to keep his face impassive. I noticed the others weren't so successful.
"But there's no proof" Edward stated, his voice surprisingly even. Bella added, "Besides its no secret Mike follows me around like a lap dog."
"True" Mr. Waltz said, very calm, no doubt thanks to Jasper. "But next time…" he tried to be threatening, but his voice had a pleading tone, which none of us, not even Bella, missed.
"Don't worry Mr. Waltz, there won't be a next time" I said as I collected the keys from Alice Jasper, Rose and Emmett. (Emmett tried to hide his and pretend he hadn't brought them along, but I told him, he might find a pink Jeep in the garage. After that there was no argument.)
As I led them outside, I quietly asked, "Do you have pictures?". Wordlessly, Alice handed me some. I must say Mike's face was priceless. "Did you two really pull this off?" I asked Bella and Edward. They both shrugged and Bella said, "Alice helped, but really, he was starting to really annoy me." I smiled. Rose and Alice were rubbing off on her.
Just then Mike came out, again, naked!
"We thought you would like a re-demonstration. We told him that Bella was very upset about not seeing his 'hot' body. It only happened because Edward took her away early and she didn't dare argue. It was not a hoax. He bought it" Alice told me in vampire speed.
Everyone save, Bella, were in hysterics (she was blushing, again.) The last thing I heard before giving in to the laughter was the sound of Alice's camera and Mike's running footsteps.
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A/N I know the ending sucks, but I couldn't think of anything else. Any way, please please review. Reviewers get a cookie and a cyber bear hug from Emmett. Even if you hate it, review!! PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!
P.S. I don't know if a similar fanfic exists. If it does, please don't sue me. Give me the link, I'll read it and take suitable steps if it clashes with someone else's work.