Straight red long hair, dark green eyes, every time I blink I see her hair, and I can't stop imagining you and her, her bedroom, your strong arms around her, her smooth hands all over your body just like my hands were two weeks ago before she arrived, you suddenly changed, you were going to her house every afternoon for tutoring, "Autumn, baby, she's just tutoring me, you shouldn't be jealous" you said, I tried not to be, but just seeing the way she looks at you, the way you two leave after class to her house, the way you laugh at her jokes and she laugh at yours, the way she stares at you during the football practice, Mia told me I should be keeping an eye on her and that other girls have been saying she really wants to be with you and I swear I'll try, for you, for me, for our relationship.

I was walking with Hannah, you know another artist friend, we were going for some art supplies when I spotted you and her sitting on a bench at school's park, you were looking at your textbook and then I saw it, I swear she did it on purpose, she placed her hand above yours, you turned your head up and your eyes met, you two kept staring for what felt like years even if it was just 20 seconds, still it hurt that you looked down but never moved your hand.

From: Julian 11/19/2015

Where r u baby?

From: Julian 11/28/2015

Baby, y r u avoiding me?

From: Julian 11/30/2015

Y r u ignoring me baby? Y?

From: Julian

Autumn this isnt funny, answr my txts!

After those messages I hid my phone under my pillow, I couldn't bare talking to you right now, especially because maybe at this time you were still at her house, this has been going on for almost two months now, I tried to act normal but the night you forgot our special night, our anniversary, just to 'study for Mr. Olsen's class' well that's plain stupid in my opinion, you spent our anniversary with her, in her house, doing I don't know what. I spent the whole night waiting for you with a home made dinner I made, Payton helped me and all but you still left me hanging in there…

After another week I was carrying my easel and my oils when I saw what shocked me the most, what broke my heart in million pieces, you and HER kissing behind the football bleachers, I dropped everything, just to see you turning back to me, I felt tears running down my cheeks, after two years, you decided to throw everything away because of her, I ran away, not before I saw her "scared" face and how she grabbed your arm as if hiding from me, I turned and ran, you screaming for me to stop running but I just couldn't, the images from you and her in her bedroom, calling her all the names you called me broke my heart even more. I just had to keep running, and never stop.

I kept crying the whole week, I didn't went to school, the simple thought of seeing you walking down the hallway with her and holding her hand, kissing her, telling her you love her, I couldn't stand that. Nishan, Sakura, Payton and Mia came to see me yesterday, Mia told me how you still spent time with her on the library or in the school park but then you snapped and yelled at her for kissing you and began frantically asking her where were you, as the good friend Mia is she didn't told you a word, and I'm glad, you don't deserve my forgive anymore.

You appeared a night after the second week I wasn't going to school, you kept throwing rocks at my window until I decided to open it. You were standing there, your football tights and your team jacket, you climbed the tree next to my bedroom and tried to get inside, I yelled at you, I threw stuff at you and then I fell to the floor crying my heart out, you tried to soothe my with a hug and stupid nothings but I pushed you away, your eyes looked a bit hurt but I didn't care, you hurt me the most and now I can't be weak again. I stoop up trying to leave my own room when you grabbed my arm, pulled me against you and hugged me hard, so hard I was starting to feel a bit nervous, you whipped my tears and began kissing my head, then my forehead, then my eyes, then my nose, then my cheeks and finally my lips. That night became one of the most significant ones of my life, we have already had sex before but this time you told me this was you 'making love' to me. After that we were cuddling in my bed, then you abruptly stopped "Autumn, love, look at me…please" you said moving my face so I could see you straight in the eyes "Kallie isn't someone as important in my life as you are, I swear I never was with her, in any way, and yeah I do admit I might have had some feeling towards her-" I remember I began crying when you said that but then you grabbed my hand a kissed it tenderly "-but I swear Autumn, I swear, I never had anything with her, I would never betray you, she kissed me that day, she confessed to me and I was confused but I always knew you were my girl, I waited for you day after day after day, you never came, I was getting worried, I thought you…you might have…" your eyes began watering and you looked away, I kissed your neck softly while burying my nose in it inhaling your musky and sweet smell I could only identify as 'Julian'. You turned around and hugged me tight, then kissing my forehead "I love you, I love you, I love you." you kept whispering until we fell asleep. "I love you too…"

She went down the hallway crying the day I went back to school, I know you feel guilty and I saw how she tried to kiss you again but this time you said no. "I love Autumn Kallie, she's my heart owner and it will always be hers", she was a mess, she even threated hanging herself, but thanks god she was stopped. You made it up for every missed date, for every missed touch, and tonight before I fall asleep once again wrapped in your arms, I can proudly say I'm the only one who has every touched you the way I do, make you feel the way I do and that I love you and you know that will always be true. My true love, my Julian.