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There he sat with frown on his face and a glimmer of sorrow in his eyes.
It was a horrible night. The rain lashed against the boarded window of his room, creating a hollow noise which bounced off the wall's and made the air seem thin. This, together with the occasional crash of thunder and the common streak of azure lighting created a scene of depression and sadness, a type of sorrow that was not easily quelled by one person alone.
He snorted loudly, his breath creating a thin puff of white smoke which rose up to the stone ceiling. The room was freezing at this time of year; the lack of material objects and the absence of real body heat made the space frigid and unpleasant to be in. But, it was his space, so he would stay there, even if he was to freeze to death in the night.
In the corner, the glittering hourglass that housed the tender lotus flower seemed as radiant as ever, as if it didn't even notice the cold. The man, sitting with his covers wrapped securely around him, huddled the thin blanket closer to himself and turned his gaze onto the only noticeable possession he had apart from his sleek katana. There, it seemed to glow even brighter under its masters scrutiny. He snorted again.
What a horrible night it was.
Knock, knock, knock. He swivelled his head towards the battered door in surprise. He expected no visitors at all, let alone one at that hour. He debated internally; did he really want to leave the protection of his cocoon for the sake of whoever it was? The knock came again. Oh, what was he to do?
He rose, and shivered unpleasantly. His feet froze upon contact with the cold, cold floor, and the hair on his neck stood up like static. Maybe it was a bad idea after all…
"Who is it?" He hesitated before opening. He could hear the shuffling of naked feet against the hard paving of the Order's internal corridors alongside the grinding of the storm at his window.
"Lenalee."
He grimaced at her tone. How could anyone be so cheery at this time of night? He had to open the door now, and so grudgingly, he turned the brass handle and swung it open rather violently, allowing a wave of cold air to blast him. The thin, navy blue dressing gown was no protection. It didn't help that he was wearing nothing on his chest, and was wearing the thinnest blue trousers ever created. He wasn't prepared for winter at all.
"What are you doing here?" It wasn't said kindly. She pouted and clasped her hands together softly, her plush pink pyjamas ruffling at the motion.
"I was wondering," She started, trying to find a way to finish the sentence in a decent way. "If I could sleep in your room?"
His eyes narrowed in confusion. Behind him, in the dark, freezing room, the lotus was strangely the only light source, except for the jolts of lightning that illuminated the walls, revealing all the small cracks and holes left there by unknown circumstances. He turned to look at the window, and motioned at it with the flick of his wrist.
"You wouldn't want to sleep here." He murmured gruffly. "It's very cold." He lowered his hands to stare at her again, his eyes hiding a covert meaning to his words. He could not put the pieces of the puzzle together; why did she want to sleep in there?
"Kanda-kun…" She whispered. "You know…" She turned her head to the side slightly and withdrew slightly from the door. Kanda knew he should know what she was talking about, but he didn't. He tilted his head to the side slightly and jabbed her in the shoulder.
"Spit it out." He was getting even more cold now, and the bite in the air was making him agitated. All he wanted to do was to crawl underneath his blanket and brood, but with her there, he couldn't do anything-
"I don't like thunderstorms!" She suddenly blurted out, flushing at her words. He was taken aback a little, deciding to roll his eyes rather than feel sorry for her. He placed his hands on his hips defiantly and scowled at her in a manor that would have frightened any other person.
"Che." And he stepped aside to let her in.
He didn't know why, but he was always a lot nicer to her than he was to anyone else. Maybe it was because he knew how much everyone around her meant to her, or maybe it was because she was a woman, and therefore he dubbed her more emotional, meaning she needed to be treated more nicer in order to make sure she didn't burst out into tears. He didn't really have any idea as to why he was nicer, but he was.
She was happy. She bounded in in a flurry of pink and green, settling herself on the bed rather comfortably. He simply closed the door, headed over to the opposite wall and slid down it, onto the floor. She looked at him in surprise.
"Kanda-kun, why are you over there?"
"…"
He said nothing, and turned his gray gaze to the broken window, that was patched up with a single board of wood that looked secure but didn't keep out the cold. Lenalee followed his line of sight.
"Your so lazy." She remarked, wagging her finger harshly. "I can't believe you still haven't fixed that window!" In retort, he scowled viciously, but didn't manage to shut her up.
"But don't worry." She smiled sweetly and drew the covers closer to herself as he had done minutes ago. "We can get that fixed at anytime."
"You are not afraid of storms."
The statement caught her off guard. Kanda, an ambassador of truth, knew when someone was lying through their teeth. He could never remember her saying anything about being afraid of thunderstorms.
Lenalee, on the other hand, met his glare with a soft look which portrayed her natural innocence and beauty; an expression she used to get to people, and Kanda was sure to not let himself get caught up in the emotion.
"You got me." She sighed. "Truth be told… I wanted it to be like old times…"
His mind reeled.
"Old… times?"
Ah, he remembered. He remembered when Lenalee used to sleep in his room because she was scared of being trapped, taken away, tortured, ect. He used to like it somewhat; someone else to talk to late at night. They used to play games, and joke about stuff kids shouldn't have joked about, like how many Akuma they had killed in that day or how many people died in the process. That was all before Lavi and Allen came, way back when they were the only two…
"Why?" He murmured. "What do you get by coming here?"
"I don't know. It just felt right… don't you ever get lonely?"
"Lonely?"
She shuffled along the bed so that he could come and sit on it with her. He looked at her critically, and then decided it wouldn't hurt, as it was freezing on the floor. The bed was only made for one person, however, so if they wanted to sleep, one of them would have to sleep on the floor… Kanda shivered unhappily.
"It's every humans nature to feel lonely, sometimes." The bed shifted as he sat down on it and turned to her as she spoke. "I bet sometimes, you want to talk but you can't."
"Who are you to say that?" He puffed and turned away.
"It's ok, Kanda-kun." She threw half of the covers around his back so they were both covered by it. She moved closer to him, and he moved further away, until he was almost at the end of the bed. It looked childish, if not immature.
"Kanda." She yanked his arm towards her, and in response, his whole body stiffened. "What is wrong? Can you not sit near someone you have known since you were young and not feel comfortable?"
There was a brief pause before he relaxed again, and settled under the blanket beside her, their backs against the wall, their legs crossed. The storm outside was getting worse, throwing its full force at the Order, and at his boarded window, that was letting in so much cold air, the man was sure one of them would freeze in the night. However, beside him, a few centimetres away in fact, he could feel the faint warmth of another person. It was odd.
"Lenalee," He started. "I can never go back to how I was before."
"You were not much different that you are now!" She laughed quietly. "Though, you were a little more fun." She stuck her tongue out at his expression, which looked rather like a pout.
"It's a shame. You were a lot more cuter then too."
It was her turn to pout as he smirked, knowing that she didn't like it when people said her younger self looked cuter.
"You win." She giggled. "But you see, this is what we used to do. I enjoy these times… I enjoyed those times." She sighed heavily and turned her sad eyes on his flower, in an empty corner by itself. She wanted to touch it, for people always want to touch things which are hard to touch, but she refrained, knowing how fragile it was and what it was to him.
"I don't want you to be so reckless in fights anymore." She said stubbornly. His eyes widened at her hard gaze, as if she was trying to set the lotus on fire.
"I'm not reckless." They both knew that was a lie.
"Look. Three of your 'lives' have gone." She indicated the three petals that sat at the bottom of the hourglass with a petite finger. "I don't want anymore to fall off."
"Since when are you my boss?"
She whacked him over the head with the palm of her hand. It wasn't painful, but it was surprising.
"I am not your boss," She yawned, "But I do care."
He hissed silently at her affection, and noted her dazed expression with a turn of his head. She caught his look, and smiled in response. She knew that he knew that she was tired, and so his look was hard and commanding. She gave in.
"I am a little tired." She yawned again. "It just suddenly dawned on me what time it was."
"What time is it?"
"Somewhere around three in the morning."
Kanda cringed. He knew that they had to be up in just a few hours to prepare for duty or whatever task awaited them, and they were still awake, talking about trivial things as if it was the early afternoon.
"Get to sleep." He ordered, pointing to nowhere in particular. She raised her eyebrow.
"Since when were you my boss?"
"Since the second you walked into my room."
"Ok, fine!"
She stretched out her arms, arched her back and collapsed on Kanda, taking advantage of his position on the bed. Her head on his chest, his head painfully against the wall, her body against the side of his. He jumped in momentary panic and confusion, and swept his eyes over their interlocked bodies. If anyone was to catch them like that… he thought of what Komui would do to him, and tried to escape, but she wouldn't let go of his arm.
"W-hat?!"
"You told me to sleep." She said dozily. "So I am doing that."
"But-"
"Good night, Kanda-kun."
He knew that when a woman indicated the conversation was over, the conversation was over. It felt uncomfortable, but if it meant not sleeping on the floor, then he was… ok with that.
She smiled. He was going to have to get used to people more, because she was never going to let him go as a friend. And she had no problem sleeping on him, like she used to do, when there were only two little exorcists in the Order. Just like before, he would be shy, but he would accept it, if it meant her being quiet, and she would be happy, because she got what she wanted and slept good at the same time.
She could never tell him that, but he was probably the most comfortable person in the world to sleep on. He smelt of copper and of flowers and of the new morning, all at the same time, and he always bended his body to suit her whenever she slept on him. She didn't want it to be like a relationship thing; she didn't like him, but she did want to teach him that you could do these things and not be in a relationship at the same time.
Under her hand, he tattoo felt like it was burning at the rush in human affection. She resented it, yet loathed it, wanting to know how it came to be, why it was there, if it hurt sometimes. But, she didn't want to pry too much. The drum of his heart against her ear was enough to tell her he was still there, and would remain there for as long as he felt like it.
She fell asleep on that cold, stormy, winter morning, feeling as if she was eight years old again.
He, on the other hand, looked down at the girl whom he had known for the best part of his life, and allowed somewhat of a smile to appear on his face, before letting it fall. He knew what she was up to. It was just like when she would fall asleep on him when she came back from missions because she never liked her bed. But it was not going to change anything. He would still remain as he was.
Things… never return to normal, no matter how much you want them to.
She would keep trying, because it was not Lenalee's nature to give up that easily, not to something like that. But, something inside was tugging at him, making him feel weird. Was it the feeling of another human against him, the feeling that he had deprived himself of for years, coming back? He looked mournfully at the patched up window, and wondered if he was ready to remove that obstruction and let all the old, forgotten emotions rush in.
It was early in the morning, and there he sat, with frown on his face and a glimmer of sorrow in his eyes.
And by the time dawn had broken, on that winter's morning, the storm had stopped, and he, the man who had been kept up by the cold, was asleep.
I hoped you liked it… My first fic… :3
Hell. Fire. Feline x