Just a little one-shot of mine... Hope you like! And this is my first song fic, So I really don't know what I'm doing... but the song is supposed to fit with Erin's thoughts.

I don't own Chicago PD or its characters.

Song: Madness by Muse.

Erin's P.O.V.

I get out of the car, senses alert.

"Clear! I can't clear!"

"Cover back!" Jay yells.

Moving around the belly off the flipped van, I hear Jay identify a weapon.

" Gun! I got a gun!"

Alright Erin, a little faster would be nice. Adrenaline courses through my veins, making me remember why I love this job. Putting away scumbags like these gives me a special kind of pride. But the proud feeling disappears when I go around the front of the van to find a man pointing a gun at Halstead. In a slight panic I fire a shot into his back. He drops like a sack of potatoes.

Breathing heavy, I glance up at Jay.

"Are you okay?!" I basically yell at him. Smooth. Like he needs more encouragement that I like him.

He doesn't answer.

"Jay?"

He slowly ripped his gaze from mine to look at the growing stain in his shirt. Blood. O my god.

"Jay!" I scream his name as he crumples to the ground, me just catching him before he slams his face into the ground.

"It's ok, I got you. Just relax. I got you." I murmer as I lay him on the ground. I radio for an ambo before tearing my phone from pocket and dialing Voight. Please, please, pick up!

"Yeah!" Hanks rough voice answers, agitated.

"Hank." He must hear the panic in my voice, because he instantly softens.

"Erin? What's wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?" Voight starts firing off questions like a mad dog.

"Halstead's been shot." My eyes start to burn as I look down at my partner. Stay with me.

"Where are you?!" I look for a street sign or something. Nothing.

"I don't know! I-" I have to stop because I'm balling now.

"Erin? Erin!? Are you listening? " I nod, before realizing he can't see me.

"Yes." I choke out.

"He's gonna be fine. Just put pressure on the wound. Keep him talking. We'll be there soon." I hang up. Ok, you can do this. I put both hands on the hole in Jay's abdomen. He's unconscious. How do I keep him talking if he is unconscious?! The panic inside me explodes, making my chest tight, and I start to sob. Talk to him. A voice in my head tells me. Tell him everything. Talk to him and maybe he'll talk back. While I debate what to do, his breathing becomes shallow.

"Nononononono! Jay Halstead don't you dare do this to me! Don't you dare check out on me! I will kick your ass if you die!"

My tears stain his face. Drawing a breath, I do something I've never done - ever. I open up. to him. About us.

"Hey, do you remember when I dared you to put a bottle of lemon extract into Antonio's coffee? And you did? And he flipped shit after he found out it was you!?" I fear that if I stop talking I will completely lose myself to the realization that my partner in crime, is shot.

I, I can't get these memories out of my mind,

And some kind of madness has started to evolve

"...just about died laughing. I think that was when I realized I wanted- no, needed you." My eyes are waterfalls right now and have no intention of stopping. I draw in another shaky breathe.

"Then Hank banned us ever being together. And I thought it was for the best, you know? I didn't want to hurt you. I thought I could just move on."

And I, I tried so hard to let you go,
But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole, yeah

" And I did. For a while with Kelly, it felt better to be able to be with someone and not be afraid of getting him fired. But Kelly and I... we aren't like me and you. I don't get that spark I get when I look at you. I don't feel anything. I never understood what you meant by one day."

And now I have finally seen the light,
And I have finally realized
What you need.

" But I do Jay. I do understand. And I want it. God, I want to be with you so bad. I'm just soscared. Scared of what I would feel if I let you in. Scared of what it would feel like to-" I can't. I can't say it. Even on his death bed I can't tell him that.

Tell him what? The truth?

Sirens in the distance. It's now or never. I'm not even sure he's breathing anymore. My breath hitches in my throat as I stagger out the words I convinced myself I'd never say.

"I was scared of-of what it would feel like to love again. You her me, Jay? I love you!" I press my forehead to his, still sobbing, praying for him to live.

But now I have finally seen the end
And I'm not expecting you to care
But I have finally seen the light
And I have finally realized
I need to love!
I need to love!

And I hear it. So faint I'm almost thought I imagined it. No, it was there.

Paramedics pull me away and I just fell away staring at nothing, no longer crying but trying to process what was happening.

Come to me
Just in a dream.
Come on and rescue me.
Yes I know, I can be wrong,
And baby, I'm too headstrong.
Our love is-!

The EMT's move Jay to a stretcher. Tell me he's going to Lakeshore. Then wisk him away in the ambulance just as the rest of the team comes running down the street. Suddenly everything becomes clear. Live or die I will always love him. And he- I know he meant those four words.

"I love you, too."

Madness.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo how'd I do? I know I said this is a one-shot but if you think it I should add another chapter, tell me in reviews, along with who's P.O.V. you want it to be. And of course, if you liked it or thought it sucked. :D