Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls.
This one-shot is set after "The right person" another one-shot I wrote. I'll be glad if you read it, but it's not really necessary to understand this.
Now, enjoy~
Dating stories.
Mabel let out a big yawn while she took a sit in the kitchen's table. Last night had been pretty emotional for her and, even when it was already 11 am, she felt pretty tired.
"Pancakes?" Dipper sat at her side, and he raised an eyebrow at Stan, who was just finishing the breakfast.
"You like them, don't you?" Stan placed two plates in front of the kids and Mabel immediately took the maple syrup.
"Mabel, please, don't put too much of that in your breakfast" Ford entered to the kitchen and sat in front of the youngest twins "It's really not healthy."
"Geez, good morning to you too" Stan took a sit beside his brother while watching him with an annoyed look "They're kids, let them fill their bodies with sugar."
Mabel chuckled at Stan's comment and took a bite of her food. It was delicious!
"Thanks for the breakfast, grunkle Stan" she said after swallowing.
"But it's been a while since we had pancakes for breakfast" commented Dipper with a thoughtful look "What's the occasion?"
"Well, It actually was Ford's idea" Stan said and Ford gave him a "shut-up" look "He said Mabel would like them, especially after last night."
Well, Mabel could instantly feel her cheeks blushing in embarrassment.
"Aww, that's nice of you two, but I feel better now" the girl said with honesty "Mark was a jerk but he is not the worst date I've had…"She stopped talking suddenly and cringed "Forget it, even compared to last year, he is the worst."
"Now that I think about it" Ford put his hand under his chin, "You only have mentioned the ones you dated last summer, but we never heard any details."
"He's right" Stan looked at his niece with curiosity written all over his face "Why don't you tell us about us."
"Um…" Mabel and Dipper shared a meaningful glance.
"Well, I guess you can talk to them about those dates" Dipper said to his sister with a nervous smile "But, just so you know, Mabel really has the worst luck on dating" he said as a warning to the two men.
"Hey" Mabel looked indignantly at his brother before frowning "Well, you aren't lying"
"Come on, it can't be that bad" Stan said while laughing at the twins' expressions, surely they were exaggerating.
"Well…" Mabel twirled her hair nervously while talking "My first date was with a boy named Norman…"
"Who I thought was a zombie" Dipper commented.
"… But he turned out to be a bunch of gnomes. They wanted me to married them and be their queen."
"Well, that wouldn't have been nice" Ford frowned after hearing his niece's story "What happened later?"
"They all made a giant gnome monster and chased us. We escaped in a golf cart and beat them with a leaf blower" answered Dipper while smiling at the memory.
"That was kinda cool" Mabel commented, chuckling a little. "Who was next…?"
"Gideon..."
"Gideon"cringed at the memory of the boy.
"Ugh, discovering that you were dating him was awful" Stan said without hesitation.
"Was it really that bad?" Ford asked, while raising an eyebrow.
"He basically tried to kill us" Mabel said as an answer, surprising Ford "Dipper broke with him for me and after that he tried to destroy him with a weird amulet he had."
"Mabel saved me that night and told him she will never date him" the boy gave his sister a friendly pat in her shoulder.
"Well… It can't get any worse than that" Ford commented with a frown.
"The next boy was Mermando" Mabel put on a dreamy smile, and Dipper rolled his eyes at his sister's reaction.
Stan raised an eyebrow at the mention of the boy "What kind of name is that?" he asked.
"He is a Merman" Mabel chuckled while thinking of him and Dipper just sighed while he continued the story.
"She met him at the pool and helped him to go back to the ocean" the boy explained.
"And he kissed me" the girl said this in a dreamy tone while smiling widely.
"And… he got married"
Ford and Stan instantly looked worried at Mabel. Thankfully she only sighed in resignation at the memory.
"He had to get married with the queen of manatees" she explained. "It's sad, he was really cute."
"Next is… the puppet guy?" Dipper frowned, trying to remember.
"You are forgetting Sev'ral Timez" Mabel said to him.
"That… doesn't count as dating"
"Wait, isn't that the boy band you were crazy about last summer?" asked Stan with confusion in his voice.
"Yes, I discovered, with Candy and Grenda, that they were just a bunch of clones. We took them here"
"You what!?" Stan stood up abruptly "Are you serious?"
"We left them in the woods after that" Mabel said, calming her great uncle "They must be somewhere deep in the forest."
"And last one… the puppet guy" Dipper frowned "What was his name"
"Gabe" Mabel face palmed at the memory "Ugh, I liked a guy who kiss puppets!"
"Puppets? That's why you set up that puppet show, right?" asked Stan.
"Yep, but everything got ruined because that was they day Bill used Dipper as a living puppet."
Stan and Ford's eyes flashed with anger while Dipper sighed at the memory.
"It was awful" the boy commented "But at least everything turned out fine"
"And… that's it, that is my love story" Mabel smiled at finishing her speaking but almost immediately frowned "It's… not very nice."
"We can tell that" Ford said with a sigh.
"Well, it's settled then, no more dating for the rest of the year missy" Stan said firmly and crossing his arms in his chest.
Mabel eyes widened in horror "What!?" She knew she wouldn't try to date any guys for a while after what happened with Mark, but…
"It's for the best, why don't you wait until you are older to date boys?" asked Ford smiling gently at her "Twenty five years old sounds good to me.""
"Grunkle Ford, you too?" Mabel couldn't believe what she was hearing and Dipper watched everything with amusement.
"Twenty five?" Dipper raised an eyebrow to the six-fingered man "Aren't you exaggerating a little?"
"No" Ford stood up and carried his niece in his arms, surprising her "Now, go to the attic"
"What? Why? I was going to…" Mabel looked offended at her grunkle "Grunkle Ford I'm not going to flirt with anyone!" she exclaimed.
"I know, you'll stay in the shack today"
"Aw, come on!"
Stan smiled with satisfaction, while Dipper laughed uncontrollably.
"I'm surprised that grunkle Ford reacted like that" he commented after a few seconds.
"Well… he probably thought that he only needed to protect you from monsters and stuff" Stan snorted "After finding out about Mabel's short dating life… he just wants to make sure that she doesn't get hurt."
Dipper smiled at this and looked with tenderness the entrance of the kitchen, where Ford and Mabel had been a few minutes ago.