This story was inspired by ArcadianMaggie's story called I Wept Not. If you haven't read it stop right now and do so. It is that good!

I have finally reedited this to remove my thoughtless grammatical errors. *Hides head in shame* I can't believe I posted it that way...

Oh and here is the disclaimer-you all know I don't own Twilight and that that honor goes to the lovely (and much more pure of heart) Stephanie Meyer. I only make her boys do naughty things

My Super Secret Big Gay Crush

I was finally free of high school and in college. I only realized after I was accepted and registered for class, that two of my home town heroes had followed me to the University of Washington. I had been hoping for freedom of everyone I knew so I could come out. Forks was such a small town; I knew if I came out to even one person that everyone would know and judgments would be formed in two seconds flat. Everyone judges in a small town, everyone has an opinion and everyone knows everyone's business. I didn't want them to know mine.

As if it weren't bad enough that people had followed me from Forks, it had to be Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie was the all American girl; head cheerleader and most popular, voted prom queen and dated the star football player her whole four years of high school, Emmett. Emmett was the golden boy, he was always happy and had a lot of friends. All the boys wanted to be Emmett and all the girls wanted to date him. Emmett is the real reason for my discomfort in them attending UW. I have had a crush on Emmett my whole life. Okay, maybe not my whole life, but enough of it to torture me.

So here I was in a new city, a big city with a large gay community, and I was still scared to be out and proud. I thought I could get away from everyone, including the man who haunts my dreams, instead I hid from him. And until I can find the courage to tell everyone I have ever known that I am gay, I had to stay in the closet.

School was okay but I have somehow ended up in the same Freshman Interest Group with both Emmett and Rosalie. Freshman interest groups were the UW's way to help freshmen make friends and interact. Basically they were a core of classes that a group all had together. We had an English class together and music, as well as a general studies group. It was in Music that I found myself trying to focus on a lecture about the importance of music in history. It was boring and I found my mind wandering to Emmett, sitting next to me, and what he was wearing. He shouldn't wear shirts that cling so tight to those muscles. His pecs and biceps were on full display and I could only imagine that a man with pecs like that would have a matching set of abs. I wanted to run my tongue over them, one by one. I groaned as I folded my arms and rested my head. I had to stop thinking like this. I felt someone nudge my foot and I lifted my head, hoping it wasn't the instructor or TA catching me not paying attention.

"Hey Edward, you wanna get out of here. I'm bored and Rose will let us copy her notes." Emmett of all people was trying to get me to skip class. It wasn't that he wouldn't skip a class, because he was more jock than student, my surprise came when he wanted me to skip with him. We knew each other, that was a given. In such a small town everyone knows everyone. We weren't what I would call friends; more like acquaintances that happened to have the same friends.

"Uh, yeah I guess. She'll let me borrow them also right?" hell, if Emmett wanted to hang out with me, I was not going to be the one to say no.

"Yeah, I'll make you a copy. She'll be typing them up when she gets home and I'll print some for you. Let's go." We got up and headed for the door as quietly as possible. The instructor didn't even bat an eye at us leaving.

After we left the lecture hall we stopped to figure out what to do now. Emmett wanted to play Call of Duty so we headed to his dorm. I wasn't much for video games, but again, if Emmett wanted to play a game with me, I was in.

We got to his dorm, played for a while, and he kicked my ass. It was fun. He laughed at my failure, and I elbowed him for laughing. Elbowing turned into shoving and shoving turned into wrestling. Next thing I know, I'm pinned to the ground by Emmett, and he was sitting astride me holding my hands to the ground. I had never been happier to be held down by someone before.

"Why haven't we ever been friends Edward?" he didn't seem to think it was weird to be having this conversation while he held me down and sat on my groin. I wasn't going to be the one to complain.

"Um, I'm not really sure." I lied. My face flushed as the real reason played in my mind. We couldn't be friends because I was in love with him. I couldn't be myself around him when I was constantly fighting my attraction to him. I wanted so badly to buck my hips into his, but I forced myself to lay still. God, this was sweet torture.

"I would like us to be friends, Edward. I would like us to be very, very good friends." He said softly as he leaned ever so slowly towards me and brushed his lips against mine. My heart stopped. "Rose doesn't have to know how good of friends we could be." He whispered and kissed me a bit firmer. My heart started again and was beating so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest. His lips were surprisingly soft and warm as he pressed them against mine. I was scared to move as if that would wake him from what he was doing and stop. I laid passively on the ground and let him kiss me.

This couldn't be happening. I dreamed about this for so long and it is finally happening. I didn't care if no one ever knew. I was fine with keeping my entire existence a secret as long as he kissed me again. He did and I moaned. I was passive no longer. My tongue jetted out and ran along his bottom lip asking for entrance in to his beautiful mouth. I was a little surprised when he let me in.

His mouth was wet and warm, his lips were succulent and his body, oh God, his hard body was pressed into mine and I could die from that sensation alone. In all the time I had known I was gay, I was in hiding. I had never even kissed a boy before and now the boy I had been crushing on my whole life was kissing me. I knew it was wrong. He had a girlfriend, he was straight, but I didn't care. I kissed him with wild abandon. It took only seconds until my body was writhing against his.

My jean clad dick pressed into his thigh and I moaned again. I had never felt this much pleasure before. I found my hands begging to be free from his grasp. I wanted to touch him. I needed to touch him. I was going insane with desire. I wondered how far he would let this go before jumping up and calling me a fag.

I turned my head to the side to catch my breath. "Emmett, let me touch you. Please, I need to touch you." I managed to pant out as I gasped for breath. His only response was to let go of my hands as he looked into my face. He leaned on his elbows and cupped my face in his hands and leaned to kiss me again.

"I have wanted to kiss you since freshman year. I was always too scared." He murmured against my lips. No way! There is no way Emmett wanted me all this time. Surely I would have noticed. And why would he be with Rosalie all this time if he wanted me? It didn't add up, but then I wasn't keeping score right now. Right now I had this glorious specimen of a man in front of me and my hands literally ached to touch him. So I let them.

I started with his hair. Emmett always wore his hair short so that just the very end of it was curly. I bed he had a wild mop of hair if he let it grow out. His hair was soft and thick and my hands felt natural in it as if they were home. I then let my hands roam down his neck and on to his broad muscular shoulders, all the while kissing his cherry red lips, massaging his tongue with my own. My hands trailed down his back until I found the hem of his t-shirt. I skimmed the bottom of his shirt waiting to be stopped but instead Emmett groaned in my mouth. I took this as encouragement and slid my hands under his shirt and caressed the ridges that defined the muscles of his back. There was not an ounce of fat on Emmett. He was built and defined. There was no better specimen of a man anywhere on the planet.

I let my hands move across his ribs and onto his chest. They found their way to his nipples and ran lightly across them. He gasped as his nipples pebbled instantly at my touch. He really liked this. Again I wondered how far he was willing to take this. I started to imagine my mouth on his cock and his mouth on mine, and once again started to dry hump his leg. Fuck, I was like a horny dog going after his leg like that, by shit if it didn't feel fucking amazing.

I found myself pushing against his chest trying to push his bulk off of me, only to have it feel like I was pushing against a wall. He finally got the hint and rolled to his back. "Fuck, Edward, was I smothering you?"

"No baby, I just wanted freedom to move." Baby? Shit now he was really going to kick my ass. I waited for retaliation, but none came so instead I found myself hovering over him kissing him as my hands worked his t-shirt up. I pulled his shirt off and kissed my way down to his nipples. Fuck they were so responsive! I couldn't get enough. I licked and sucked and even bit them and he just thrashed his head back and forth, moaned and held my head to his chest. I slowly inched my way down to his abs and traced my tongue around every one of them just like I had always imagined. This was the sexiest man I had ever seen. His body was perfection. My tongue found its way to the V that led to his groin and traced down to the top of his jeans. I looked up through my lashes to see if he would stop me, but he gave no indication of discomfort. The only look in his eyes was lust. His hands were still on my head, but they were unmoving, as if he was scared to move them or didn't know where to put them.

Finally finding the courage to continue I released the button and zipper of his jeans and let his cock out. He was going commando and that only added to his sexiness. I shifted his jeans down a bit to release him fully and took a second to appreciate the man he was. He had a large, thick, uncut cock that was seeping precum in large drops. It was magnificent. I leaned down and ran my nose along the length, he smelled incredible. I had never been this close to a cock before. I had no idea what I was doing; my only guide being free internet porn. I decided to just go for it. After all, it's easier to apologize than to ask permission, right?

I gripped the base of his cock in one hand, braced myself on the floor with the other and leaned down and licked the pooling precum of the head of his dick. I let my tongue trace under his foreskin and traced around the ridge. He moaned and thrashed his head some more. He was spectacular in his enjoyment. I loved that I was making him feel this good. I flattened my tongue and licked up his main vein and found the balls to finally take him completely in my mouth. I sucked hard as I pushed as far down as I could without choking. He tasted as good as he smelled. He was earthy and musky and all man. I bobbed my head a few times and let him fall out of my mouth and plop onto his abdomen. I had to shimmy his jeans a bit more to get to my next destination, and he surprised me by kicking them all the way off. He now lay completely naked before me. I returned to my task and took his balls in hand. I used my tongue to stroke one of his balls and sucked it into my mouth and moaned when I had it all the way in. While holding it in my mouth I massaged it with my tongue, swirling my tongue around and around making him moan louder and louder. I then gave the same attention to the other one and he moaned even louder.

"Edward, Fuck, please." I didn't exactly know what he was begging for, but he had said my name while doing so. My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name leaving his lips in a moment of passion.

I returned my attention to his cock and wasted no time by plunging my mouth over his dick. I pumped him in my mouth as my hand worked what wouldn't fit. I sucked and licked and worked him until he was shouting incoherent words of praise and practically ripping my hair out by the roots. I never knew I would enjoy giving pleasure so much. I found myself grinding my denim covered dick into the floor to try to gain any kind of friction at all. I moaned as I felt his body begin to stiffen. I knew he was getting close. The thought that I was bringing Emmett to the brink just spurred me on even more. I sucked, and pumped harder and gripped his balls, rolling them in my other hand.

"Edward, fuck…gonna…oh God…move" But there was no way I was moving. I had worked too hard for this reward to let him waste it on his chest. No way, was I going to move when I had dreamed of this for so long. I just gripped harder and plunged as far down as I could as I felt his cock twitch as his seed spilled into my mouth. It was glorious. I had never felt as powerful as I did when his come was flowing into my mouth. I did this. I brought this gorgeous specimen of a man to ecstasy. I didn't waste a single drop.

I kissed my way up to his mouth and kissed his lips gently. "Thank you, baby." I said. And I meant it. I was so thankful for that moment. His eyes shot open at my words and I thought 'oh boy, here comes the rejection'; but to my surprise he just flipped me over.

"Thank me? I should be thanking you. That was the most unbelievable blow job I have ever had." He kissed me with so much passion I thought my heart would explode. He wasted no time getting me naked as his mouth found its way to my cock. It took all I had to not come as soon as his tongue touched me. I whimpered and focused instead on not thrusting into his mouth.

He pleasured me with this tongue following much the same routes as I had. Just as I started to feel the tingle in my balls, he slowly backed off. "Baby, please don't tease. I was getting so close." I whined.

"I don't want you to come until you are inside me." What he fuck? He wanted to have sex? And he wanted to bottom?

"Emmett, are you sure?" I had never thought we would kiss, let alone fuck. It was as if I had a fairy god mother that was making all my fantasies come true.

He crawled back up my body and cradled my face. "Edward, I fantasize about you taking me. I want you to take me. Please fuck me." Well shit, I wasn't going to ask again.

"Do we have supplies?" Him being with Rosalie probably meant he had condoms, but I didn't know if he had lube. I wasn't going to hurt him any more than I had to, so I needed lube.

"Nightstand" was his only reply. I crawled to the nightstand and sure enough everything we needed was in there.

I made my way back to him and sat between his spread legs. I leaned up and kissed him. I was feeling quite nervous about this whole thing. "I've never done this before Emmett."

"Me neither, just go slow." I figured this was good advice. I leaned down to kiss him again and took his semi hard cock in my hand. I pumped his cock until it was rock hard and sat up. I took the lube and coated my hand and traced a finger from his balls to his crack. I lightly circled his hole and he moaned. Emmett liked ass play apparently. I circled and circled, pressing slightly harder at each revolution, until I pressed a finger in. It was a weird sensation to have my finger in a man's ass, but my cock liked it as it jumped with anticipation of replacing that finger. In the porn videos there was always a decent amount of ass play before actual penetration, so I assumed it was a necessary part. Given how tight he was to just a single finger, I was pretty sure of my assumption. I pumped my finger in and out until I felt Emmett relax and only then did I add another finger. With two fingers in I twisted them together and spread them apart. Emmett really enjoyed this as he started pushing against my fingers demanding more depth. I obliged as best as I could. I knew by how thick my cock was that I had to put a third finger in so I added more lube to my fingers and pushed it in. Emmett gasped. I stilled.

"Did I hurt you?" fuck I didn't want this to hurt him, but I wanted to fuck him so bad. He reached down and took his cock out of my hand. I had forgotten all about it, I was so immersed in what I was doing to his ass.

"No, it just hurt for a second. It's fine now." He stroked his cock and started thrusting his hips into my finders again, so I resumed thrusting my fingers as well. "I'm ready Edward. Fuck me. Oh, God please fuck me." Shit, I loved how he begged. I wasted no time and slid on the condom and lubed it up.

I pulled his legs around my waist and pressed my dick at his entrance and took a deep breath. "Ready?" God, say yes, please say yes.

"Yes. Fuck me now." He started to push himself onto me but if we were going to do this slowly he had to hold still, so I grasped his hips and held him tight. I sank slowly into him, pushing as gently as I could past his tight ring of muscles. He groaned as my head made it past the ring.

"Okay, baby?" I was in heaven just being in his tight hole, but I wouldn't go on without encouragement.

"Mmm, yes. It's a good hurt, keep going." So I did. I pushed ever so slowly into him, inch by glorious inch until my balls rested against his ass. I held myself still trying to gain my composure and let him acclimate to having me stuffed in his ass. I could die a happy man being so far into Emmett. There literally are no words to describe the emotion of the moment. I am sure they were mine alone, but I fell in love with Emmett even more right then. I was in him balls deep and I was head over fucking heels in love with him. The enormity of my emotions was almost overwhelming. I took a shuttering breath.

"Move damn it. I need you to move." He used his legs to force me to thrust into him. I relented and pulled almost all the way out and thrust gently back in. I continued my gentle strokes until he growled in frustration. "Harder damn it." I shifted his legs up to my shoulder and practically folded him in half and I slammed myself into him. It felt so good I cried out. I must have hit his magic spot, because his cry was louder than mine. "Yes! Right…fucking…there, yes!" he yelled as I continued to thrust into him. I kept up my motions and slammed into him over and over. His cock was trapped in between our bodies but even without direct stimulation it only took a few more hard thrusts and he was coming hard. What surprised me was how tight the muscles in his ass contracted with his ejaculation. It caught me so far off guard, that I had no warning before I was coming as well. I released his legs and fell on top of him. I was euphoric, floating in my orgasmic high. I had just made Emmett come twice. I was spent. I found his lips with what little energy I had left and kissed him sweetly. He returned my kiss with the same tenderness. I laid my head on his chest in contentment.

I felt a hard shove from behind and jerked up to find myself still in class. I looked around confused and realized that I had fallen asleep in class and that it was all a dream. A wet dream, I realized as I looked down to my lap. I was in fucking class; having a wet dream. I hope I didn't talk or make noise. I found myself blushing from head to toe at the thought of my classmates knowing I had just jizzed in my pants in class. I tried to compose myself as I looked around again only to notice the luckiest girl in the world was leaving class on the arm of my super secret big gay crush.