Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Bleeding Potter. Bloomsbury and Scholastic do. Did I stutter?
Summary: Ginny's been told that she's too predictable. She's given three weeks to change because Ron is fed up. She's trying to act like an unpredictable young adult, but the screw ups will just keep coming. Can she deal with the pressure of Big Brother Blaise and an overgrown Ferret pushing her to the utmost edge?
Author's Notes: This is my third fan fiction. Bear in mind, this one will be my most humorous fic. Yes, some of the content seems a bit borderline, but if it makes you happy, it's because this is the fic that I'll let my rules have a longer leash. Doubt it? Read it and tell me if I made Draco an 'okay' character, personality wise. Tell me what you want to happen in future chapters, and I might just comply. By the way, I edited this chapter so it actually makes sense. And I'm looking for a Beta. Thanks.
Chapter I - - Dealing with the Devil
Ginny Weasley, a sixth year Gryffindor, felt the need to rush on a cold Wednesday morning. Usually, she was always the last to go down to the common room and the last to take her shower. She quickly jumped in the minuscule bathroom and read the time on the small clock. It read a quarter past seven. Ginny was already ten minutes late for breakfast.
She quickly washed up, rinsed out her flaming red locks, and shook them as she exited the loo. She quickly dressed and gathered her books in case she would study in the Library, shoving them hastily into her knapsack. She swung it over her shoulder and didn't bother to even think about putting makeup on.
When she raced down the steps to the common room, she accidentally tripped on the last stair. She quickly stood up, making sure her skirt was pulled down, with a flushed expression on her face. Ginny quickly trotted over to Ron, Harry, and Hermione, who tried to wait for her each morning.
"We almost left without you, Gin. You have got to change for the better and stop procrastinating." Ron, her overprotective brother said, looking irritated.
Hermione snorted and folded her arms. "And of course, you, Ronald, never have procrastinated in your entire life. Why can she not be late?"
Ginny nodded as thanks and watched as Ron spoke again. "She's just so predictable. We go through this every morning."
"I'm not predictable!" Ginny and Ron said at the same time, Ron mocking her.
"See, I already knew what you were going to say."
"Whatever. Come on, guys. Let's just go down to breakfast. And besides, there's barely anyone in the castle for the break. We can argue about this later."
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And that they did. Ron and Ginny didn't stop incessantly bickering. There was no pulling them apart from each other, as they tried to kill one another.
"Prove that you're not predictable then! I'll give you three weeks to change." Ron shouted, following up with almost taking a bite out of his empty juice glass.
"That'll be easy! All I have to do is act like you!" she shrieked and suddenly got out of her seat. She climbed onto the bench beside Hermione and launched herself onto the table.
"All of you," she began, looking around at the minimal people in the Great Hall. "Look at me!"
And they did. Every head turned, looking at the completely barmy Weasley. Professor McGonagall was the only teacher that had currently been in the Great Hall at that time, and she had fallen prey to her Christmas oatmeal. Their lovely Transfiguration teacher was hurling her brains out in one of the teacher's lavatories.
"My gosh!" she exclaimed, picking up her glass of pumpkin juice and dumping it down Ron's shirt. He fell backwards, taking Harry down with him.
The whole long table exploded into laughter and began to point at the youngest Weasel and her brother and his friend.
"I'm taking requests! Who wants me to sing a song?" Ginny shouted, taking the hair tie out of her hair, and letting the half tangled tresses escape.
"Take off your robe!" A certain Blaise Zabini yelled, smirking from across the room. She looked up to the end of the table, hoping to find Dumbledore giving her an ashamed look so she wouldn't do it, but alas, he was not in sight. They had probably made Miss Head Girl Hermione in charge of the hundred or so people staying. She grinned to herself and looked down at Ron, who was shaking his head frantically.
"Is that even a song?" She smirked and grabbed the hem of her robe. "You asked for it, Ronald."
"No. Not that. I did not ask for my sister to take off her- clothes. Get down now!" His ears were a plum purplish red, and his eyes were bulging. He smacked Harry in the head for nodding.
"I'm not sure if I should!" she yelled to the small population of Hogwarts' boys. They began to boo, and she continued. "My brother says I shan't. Shan't. Isn't that a funny word? Hmmm… I think I'll go look it up. But damn- it's so hot in here!" she wiped her forehead and slowly began to take off her robe. . Seeing Ron's glare, she quickly threw her robe to the floor and stalked out of the Great Hall, straitening her tie and long white tee.
Harry was in awe and quietly muttered to Ron, "I'm going to the Library." Needless to say, Ron held him back and proceeded to slap him upside the head.
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"Gosh, how I love the Library!" Ginny shouted and broke into a fit of giggles.
She traveled around the Library, thinking about skipping her planned activities. This whole 'Predictable' thing would be a test of her family's and her own will. She was going to act like the female version of the twins, minus the formality of Percy, added the humor and wildness of Bill, throw in Charlie's sarcasm, and subtract Ron's clumsiness and ability to blush at a dime. Oh yes, Hogwarts had no idea what was coming.
On the way to the Library, she had plaited her hair within minutes, and she now had the sudden urge to let it unravel. Following Bill's philosophy of life, she went by feeling and quickly took out the braid, having her hair flow off of her shoulders. She shook it out and grinned to herself.
Predictable, eh? She'd show them. Quickly, she dropped her books onto the table. Ginny unbuttoned the sleeves and shoved them up her arms.
She was about to take off her shoes, when she felt a pair of hands grasp her shoulders tightly.
"Let go of me, you prat!" Ginny screamed, grabbing a hold of the captor's wrist. She let go when she saw his face. "Zabini? What do you want?" She then gulped, realizing that his answer would be one that she didn't like at all. Not one bit.
"Oh, nothing. I just happened to stop by the Library, and I saw your bright hair." He smirked and placed his hand on her shoulder, leaning on gently for support.
"Sure." She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. She wanted to shift under his weight, but he was the kind of boy that would get offended. Then she couldn't get the truth out of him.
"Really, Red. I was. I mean, how could I not find you? That was the most predictable place I could-"
"I'm not predictable!" she shouted, earning a satanic-like glare form Madame Pince.
"Sure, Weasel. And I'm a girl dressed in guy's clothes."
"Well, when you put it that way- Have you looked in the mirror lately?"
Blaise laughed and leaned more onto Ginny's shoulder. "You know, Red, there are only a few people in the castle."
"Took you that long to find out, eh?" Ginny started, but Blaise talked over her.
"And since there are only a few people, imagine how much less you're being watched. Normally, your brother would have made sure of where you're going. But now- Big brother Blaise can take over for him. You see? If you get into an accident- or, shall I say, find yourself cornered-" Blaise was now off of Ginny's shoulder. Ginny watched in horror as he came closer, her back already shoved into the bookcase wall.
"C-cornered?" she spluttered.
"Yes, and we wouldn't like that at all, would we?" he asked. Blaise put both hands on either side of her head and leaned in, a good six inches from her face.
"On the contrary, it depends who's doing the cornering." She replied, no longer afraid of his bluff. As long as he wasn't smiling, Blaise Zabini sounded and looked like a half decent person.
"Cute, Weasley, cute." Blaise smirked.
"Yes, and I believe it'd be even funnier if you were saying that to my brother."
"You don't get it, do you?" he asked with impatience.
"Sure I do. You think you can intimidate me. Oh, but you do. I'm scared, Zabini. Truly frightened. I do hope we can continue this conversation, but I'm afraid that I have to go." Ginny put a hand on his upper arm and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Blaise lifted an arm up to let her pass and dared not touch his cheek.
"I'm not into incest, Zabini. And just think, if you weren't my big brother, I'd have forgotten about predictable and concentrated on surprising." She winked and turned, breaking into a smile.
The last she heard before Peeves dropped the water balloon on his sorry ass was, "Oi! Weasley! Seven sharp, tomorrow. Meet me by my common room and at the door, watch out for-" Then the balloon hit, and Peeves gave Ginny a thumbs up. Ever since Fred and George told the poltergeist to give 'hell', he seemed to be doing that quite more often than usual. Two years had been devoted to the protection of the two Weasleys, and the destruction of their enemies. That, and more messes for all the teacher's to clean up. Mainly exploding balloons in Flitwick's room because he couldn't reach.
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Ginny had managed to skip lunch unnoticed the next day and rushed up to her room after having a snowball fight with Luna. She had slightly smudged cheeks, gritty fingernails, and faintly tangled hair. Groaning, she gathered her necessities and headed toward the Prefects bathroom.
She opened the door and was pleased to find that there wasn't anyone there. She quickly discarded herself of her clothes and jumped into the already warm water that instantly filled the tub when she turned a few knobs.
She relaxed, washing out her hair and making sure to get her hands clean. She rinsed off and grabbed her red robe off of the wall. She checked the clock on the wall and noticed it was already six thirty.
Ginny searched for her clothes on the edge of the bath and huffed when they were nowhere to be found. She began to swear and pray that they hadn't been tossed into the water by a younger student. Or older for that matter.
She began to wipe bubbles off of the water's surface and found that her clothes were in mid-float. She swiftly scooped them out of the water and whimpered. It was her brand new jumper and a decent pair of corduroy pants. She also pulled out her undergarments and socks.
She searched in her old clothes' pockets for her wand and was horrified to find it missing. Unable to do a drying charm, she pulled on her half soaking undergarments and then wrapped her robe around herself. It was now a quarter till, and she concentrated on trying to dry her jumper and pants.
Then it hit her.
Blaise had taken her wand! She hadn't needed it at all today, for they had only reviewed Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. He had probably stolen it after dinner the night before.
She gruffly tied her robe and carried her soaking clothes toward the dungeons.
It took her a few minutes to remember where she would find Blaise to kill him, for she could not remember where the Slytherin common room resided.
Finding her way down a dark corridor, she recognized this as the hall to the Slytherin commons. If she remembered correctly, and she did, Fred and George had said that there wasn't any portrait or statue. Just a blank stone wall. They had a password like the other houses, but were known to keep them for three days and get a new one. Ginny groaned.
She began to rap against the stone with her fist, becoming agitated. It was freezing. She imagined that it was worse since her hair was still very damp. She swore words that she had learned from Mundungus, who was really a bad influence on everyone who had the unfortunate pleasure to meet him.
"Hell, Weasel. Didn't know you were that desperate. I actually almost feel sorry for you. Is that all that you can afford now?" Came the amused voice of Draco Malfoy, a picturesque vision of blonde hair and pale grey eyes. He had appeared from around a corner that was at the end of the hall.
"Not desperate. Cold. Pissed off. Wet. Not fully clothed. Cold. Anything but desperate. And if I was, I surely wouldn't go parading around the likes of you." She attempted to sneer, but had the vision that she failing miserably.
"Of course. As how it should be. Now, what is a poor little Weasel going to do in this position?" He came closer and folded his arms, smirking.
Ginny walked up to him slowly, still holding her wet clothes. "Let's see… I could shove my socks in your mouth… Hmm. No, not good enough. I could pull your knickers over your head with this neat trick Charlie taught me. Nah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Ferret Boy? How about a new and improved bat boogey hex?"
"How could you improve that?" Malfoy said unbelievingly under his breath.
"Oh, quite easy. Six brothers, two outlaws, and Uncle Moody. Myself included. Tested on my ex boyfriends, four Weasleys, and soon to be tested on Blaise Zabini. You should see it. It's wicked." She smirked and folded her own arms.
"Doubt that," said Malfoy cockily.
Not knowing what compelled her, Ginny grabbed his shoulder blades with one on each hand, making him directly face her. "Listen, I need you to pay attention. The quicker you comply, the faster I can take another shower from touching you. I need the password to your common room. I am going to locate Zabini. I don't need your comments or your cockiness."
"Oh, so that's what you needed. Why didn't you say so before?" Came his sarcastic reply. "I'm not giving you the password, Weasel. So I'm sorry that you need another shower. Looks like you need it anyway." He sneered.
"Do you really want that hex?"
"Do you really want me to disappoint you by telling you that you don't have your wand?"
"I hate you."
"I know. Isn't it ironic?"
"Where's all your amazing wit and charm?" Ginny asked, letting go of him and putting her hands on her hips. "Frankly, I think all your remarks are getting old. Do me a favor and think of some new ones, would you?"
"Oh, now you're really scaring me, Red. Now that all my wit and charm is gone, how am I supposed to woo you?"
"Woo me? God, you really are sick… Hmm… How about a deal, Malfoy?"
"I don't make deals with the devil's advocate. Or Weasels for that matter."
"Just because I don't have my wand, it doesn't mean that I still can't kick your ass when I find it."
"Why can't you just leave me alone, Weasel? You're killing me. Slowly, but surely, I'll have died from your stupidity."
"Are you calling me stupid?"
"Stupid? For lack of a better word I could always use, 'Unintelligent', 'Dim Witted', 'Dense', 'Thick', shall I continue?"
"Your cockiness amazes me."
"So does your audacity. But what the hell- it entertains me."
"Can you just give me the bloody password?" Ginny almost shrieked. She grabbed a hold of his school robes and pulled him closer.
"It depends. What are you offering?" He smirked, raising an eyebrow.
"The password to the Gryffindor Tower," said Ginny huffily. She was beginning to feel ashamed.
"Ah, the sixth year prefect is offering me a password that I'll never even bother to use. How… quaint."
"It gives access to the prefects quarters, the Head Girl's room, our dorms, the common room, and basically everywhere in our tower." She lied. It only got you into the common room. The other places had their own passwords. Hopefully, he believed her. Apparently not.
"Throw in the password to your quidditch locker rooms and we've got ourselves a deal."
"Fine. The Tower's is Pixie Guts, and the one to the locker rooms is Malfoy is our queen."
"Are you bloody serious?"
"Actually, I am. Ron and I pick the passwords for the locker rooms each week. It was his week. He and Harry thought it was hilarious. But you should have heard last week's password. Malfoy wears Snape's underwear."
"Who picked out that password?" Malfoy asked viciously, this time grabbing the front of her robes.
"I did," she laughed.
Malfoy looked into her face and shook his head. "You are one messed up girl."
"Actually, hadn't you remembered that the Head of House has to approve the passwords? McGonagall thought it was amusing. I say she's messed up. But then, who can resist Snape's underwear?"
"Weasley, I advise you to quit while you're ahead." Blaise said sarcastically. "What is this about not resisting Snape's underwear? And why aren't you dressed?"
"It's his fault," she replied, pointing at Draco who was smirking.
"You mean he-" Blaise stopped.
"YUCK!" The two guilty criminals shouted at the same time.
"So why are you two standing out here, arguing with each other like Crab and Goyle?"
"He wouldn't give me-"
"The password! To the-"
"Slytherin commons and-"
"Now have plans for-"
"Killing you-"
"Trying not to-"
"Kill him and his-"
"Gorgeous features?"
"You wish!"
"Ginger, why didn't you look in a nearby broom closet? A Slytherin is easier to find than you think." Blaise looked pointedly at her. Ginny didn't know where he came up with it, but she did not like the nickname Ginger. Thank Merlin Ginevra didn't sound remotely like it.
"Why am I even here?" Ginny proceeded to sneeze. "I've caught a cold from being in your moldy dungeon and from the molecules of Au de la Toilet Ferret in the air! I'm going to die!"
"Like anyone would miss your-" Draco was interrupted by Blaise.
"Potter's Dumpy." Blaise spoke to the wall. Suddenly, the bricks arranged themselves into a tangent and slid apart. There was now a dark tunnel ahead, and Ginny stood shocked.
"Snape approved that?" she demanded, placing her hands on her hips.
"You'd be surprised how cute you look by doing that." Zabini grinned and held out his hand in front of the door. "Ladies first."
"Good. Ferret Boy goes first and then you go." Ginny smirked while rolling her eyes.
"Although I'd hate to admit it, Weasel is the closest thing to a girl that we've got… Even if it doesn't look like it." Draco sneered and suddenly Ginny felt a large push from behind and became filled with fright, thinking Filch had caught them. Instead, Draco was steering her by her shoulders.
Blaise followed after them as Ginny protested and Draco shoved harder. "Rules: No touching anything! Do not ask Avery where he got his tooth necklace unless you want to be damaged… On second though, feel free. Do not speak unless you're spoken too, don't laugh, and don't cry. Do not tell anyone that you're not a Slytherin. Do not tell anyone that you're a Gryffindor. Don't make fun of Snape. And you as sure as hell don't want to tell them that you're half-" Malfoy seemed to be out of breath at the moment, and he swallowed. "Naked. Got it?"
Ginny laughed. It sounded a bit psychotic. "I think I'll have a problem with the last one."
"You better not have. It's not my job to look after you, Weasel." Malfoy sneered and gripped her shoulders more firmly.
"Yes well…"
"Well what?"
"Never mind. Why is this taking so long? It feels like the walk to the lake from the back of the castle."
"It is."
"What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean? The Slytherin common room is partially under the lake. Jesus, Weasley, do you need it in French? Latin? German?"
"Latin would be nice."
"Tough luck. We're almost there. About fifty feet away, just so you don't ask me. Now shut up, the lot of them will still be up, and we have to make it all the way up to the girl dorms before anyone sees your stupid lion crest."
"Huh?" It was still dark, and Ginny couldn't tell whether she was in the Slytherin Common Room or still in the dark tunnel.
"Shhh!" He hissed.
"Alright, let go. I can handle myself." Ginny said, watching as Blaise muttered a spell to turn her robe a dark green. There wasn't a crest on it now.
"I doubt that. But fine, be my guest."
"Who's this lovely dish?" A devilish fellow with a thin look about him replied. Ginny automatically recognized him as Theodore Nott. Apparently, he didn't recognize her. Her hair was still damp and askew. She was slightly shivering and had a very pale complexion at the moment.
"Ginevra," she replied uneasily. She felt a hand grab her shoulder. And again, she thought it to be a creepy figure. Then again, it was Malfoy after all.
"That's a pretty robe. It would look even nicer wrapped up in a ball next to my bed." His gazing at her was really starting to scare her. That and his comments. Nott was looking her up and down with an expression that she couldn't describe.
"Is that the best pick up line that you could think of? How smashed are you?" She rolled her eyes and Malfoy and Blaise began to chuckle.
"C'mon, Ginevra, we have to go."
"Wait a minute, Draco. Don't get your knickers in a twist. I'm trying to have a decent chat." 'Decent my arse.'
"Should I try again?" Nott asked, trying to focus his eyes.
"Go ahead."
"Okay. Kissing is the language of love, so how about a conversation?"
"Drop dead," she replied smirking.
"Wait! I know the perfect one." He cleared his throat and grinned. "I've lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?"
"Nice try. I want whatever you're on." She joked.
"Here, try this then." He handed her a cup and it was then that Ginny realized that both Draco and Blaise had left.
"Thanks." She put it up to her lips and vowed to only have one drink. Well, you've been in this situation before. You can't just have one. And apparently, her will power wasn't that strong when she was subjected to the strangest wizarding alcohol she had ever had the chance to have.
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Author's Notes: Oooh, pwetty cwiffhwanger. No, I'm not smashed. ;) (But at the time you read this, I just might be.) PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE! Thanks, love ya'!
Mellia Black 6/10/05
P.S. Yes, I am planning on updating Against All Odds. And please check out Now I'm Really Scaring Myself. I only have one review for it. :( I might delete it soon if no one reviews. ;)