Ron Weasley and the Madness of Captaincy: Part One

Dear Mr Weasley,

After having given the matter some thought, I confess I am at a loss as to which of you or Mr Potter deserves the Gryffindor Team Captaincy for the upcoming Quidditch season. As I am unable to make up my mind, I would be grateful if you and Mr Potter could discuss the matter amongst yourselves. If you are unable to agree on a decision, send me your arguments for or against your own selection as Team Captain, at which point I will make the decision.

The role of Team Captaincy is a responsibility not to be taken lightly, and I would urge you and Mr Potter to treat it with the seriousness it deserves. Needless to say, you would both make excellent Team Captains, and whatever the outcome of the decision process, I trust both of you would uphold the standards and honour of Gryffindor House.

I have, of course, sent a similar message to Mr Potter.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagal

Deputy Headmistress

Hogwarts

Harry,

I just got McGonagal's note – can you believe it? The crazy old bat's fallen off the deep end this time - you're captain for sure. I've sent her a note already saying I think you should have the job. I dunno why she couldn't decide, seems obvious really. I know I'm a brilliant keeper and all (I told you about that fourth save from Ryan King in the Ravenclaw match last year didn't I, where I pretended to fall for the feint but stuck my boot out and cleared straight to Spinnet?) but I'm no captain. Still, it was a fantastic save. Her mind must still be warped from my astonishing performance at the end of last year – you'd have thought she'd have got over it by now.

Ron

Ron,

You're more nuts than McGonagal if you think I'd make a better captain than you! I sent her a note saying to ignore any further notes from you on the subject until we had a chance to chat about it. I'll see you at the HQ soon, and we'll sort it out then.

Things are fine here, the Dursleys are pretending to be nice to me, which I've got to say is more disturbing than when they're telling me off. Big D can't do it though- he just tries to avoid me. I've spent whole days just following him around, popping up in unexpected places and grinning at him. I swear that vein in his forehead is getting bigger and bigger. Anyway, speak soon – and no more stupid notes to McGonagal.

Harry

Hermione, I need your help (so what's new?).

I think Ron should be Quidditch captain next year, but he's going to take some convincing. Enlist Ginny's help and go to work on softening him up. I can tell he's going to be stubborn about this. You know what he's like.

Harry.

PS How are you doing anyway? Did Dumbledore's talk with your parents go OK? I can't wait to see you all again, this summer has been very boring.


"NO, you would!"

"NO, you"

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

A silence.

"YOU!"

"NO, YOU!"

Another long pause.

"YOU!" blurted out Ron. Harry rolled his eyes, but couldn't keep himself from laughing.This was so stupid, yet for some reason so deliciously funny.

"Ron, don't be an idiot"

Ron swung round to frown at his sister, perched on the edge of Harry's bed in the boy's bedroom in Grimmauld Place.

"Yeah, Ron, don't be so stupid," came another voice, from behind them.

Ron turned, even more astonished, glaring at Hermione, who had just walked in, shaking large droplets of rain off her overcoat. "Hello to you too, Hermione," he said, sniffingly. Harry stood up suddenly, and gave Hermione a hug, grinning at her.

"Good to see you Hermione. Nice summer?"

"It was great thanks! Mum and Dad took me to Greece with them.You should have seen it! The Parthenon was..." She trailed off, and frowned at Ron. "Anyway, I can tell you all about it later. I have pictures." (Ron rolled his eyes surreptiously) "I take it you're arguing about the Team Captaincy?"

Ron grimaced, "Yeah, Harry's got this mad idea that...Hey! Wait a minute! How do you know about that?" He glared at his sister, who shook her head slightly to indicate it wasn't her that told Hermione, then seemed to realise this was a mistake.

"If it wasn't you, then...." Ron's gaze fell on Harry, who grinned at him. "You rat!! You sneaky...underhand..."

"Oh, come off it Ron." said Hermione in brisk, impatient tones. "Harry asked for my help convincing you because he knew you'd be stubborn.

"Outmaneouvered," muttered Ron."Disgraceful, unsporting..."

"..behaviour unworthy of the office of Team Captain.." continued Harry solemnly, still grinning at Ron, who was barely able to keep a straight face. Ginny laughed.

"And you!" Ron said suddenly, turning on his sister. "How did I not realise it!" He put on an insipid expression and said in a high pitched voice..."Oh Ron, could you teach me chess? You're so good at it! I wish I was as good at strategy as you, Ron. No wonder you always win at chess, Ron. Quidditch is a bit like chess, isn't it, Ron?" Ginny and Harry burst out laughing at Ron's increasingly constipated expression, and Ginny gave Ron a quick punch on the arm. "I do not speak like that!" she said in mock outrage.

"Well, they are right, Ron." interrupted Hermione in a no-nonsense sort of voice. "You would make a great team captain. You obviously have some grasp of strategy, not to mention luck, as you can beat me 3 times out of 4 at chess as you like to remind me from time to time..."

"..and you play in the perfect position for it," continued Harry. "You have to follow the game anyway from a distance so you'll see the shape of the game much better than I can."

"..and you certainly see the opposition teams chasers close up..." added Ginny.

"...Woods was the keeper, it's just the right position to be captain from.." said Hermione.

"...there's no way I can really do it," continued Harry, "I'm going to be busy this year with extra lessons from Dumbledore and all sorts, not to mention the DA classes, which'll probably get a lot bigger..."

"And if anyone can motivate Kirk and Sloper, Ron it's you." finished Ginny.

"ENOUGH! ENOUGH!" shouted Ron, who had got increasingly red but pleased as they went on. "I'll do it, OK! But I'm not sure how good I'll be...."

"You'll be brilliant," said Harry.

"Excellent," added Ginny.

"So that's settled. You had better write to McGonagal right away. Budge up." Hermione perched herself comfortably beside Ron and, taking off her shoes, sank comfortably onto the mattress, legs tucked beneath her.

"I just happen to have a quill and some paper right here," said Harry, laughingly.

Ron gave him a look, but a smile crossed his face he couldn't stop. "Extra training for being TOO BLOODY CLEVER by half, both of you."

"Yes, Captain!" said Harry, then threw off an absurdly complicated salute.. "I take it this means I'm still in the team?" said Ginny.

Ron snorted. "Of course you are." Ron stood up, and threw one arm up in a dramatic gesture. "Also- Harry, I hereby appoint you to serve as deputy captain," he intoned in a deep voice. "I trust you will not disappoint me in your new role."

"Can I get a badge?" asked Harry.

"You'd never have guessed we had to persuade him into it," observed Harry, watching Ron making increasingly bombastic pronouncements to the crowd of onlookers in the Gryffindor common room, a week later.

Hermione looked up from her homework, and shook her head in disgust. "Ridiculous," was her only comment. Harry noted the way her eyes slid over Parvati, who was gazing at Ron with intense concentration, and frown lines appeared on her forehead.

Ginny, sitting on the sofa next to Neville and catching up with her own work, said "It's kind of funny really. He was so nervous, but he's taken to it like a hag to mischief."

Harry smiled at her. The fire was setting off all sorts of highlights in her copper hair. Their eyes met briefly, then both turned back to their own work. A scrap of what Ron was saying made it's way through a lull in the common room conversations, making them all grin.

"Look, Sloper. I am The Captain" Harry could hear him capitalise the words. Ron had begun to talk in a third person whenever addressing one of the team. It seemed to be an unconscious thing."The Captain is displeased, Sloper. The Captain is working on a new strategy that will make use of your talents. But you must put in EFFORT! Remember, there is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in stupidity. So SHIP UP, or else!"

Ron had been going on at Sloper and Kirk in a similar vein for the past half hour. They had both tried to quit at the start of the season, as soon as they arrived at Hogwarts. Ron was taking a firm tack with them, and Harry had to admit they seemed to have perked up a bit compared with what he saw of them last year.

"Away! Away!" said Ron suddenly, and strode away from the group of onlookers. "Leave me in peace." Parvati grabbed him as he went past, and as the crowd dispersed, drew him away for a quiet word in the corner of the common room. Hermione glanced up at this, and frowned again, watching as Parvati laughed at something Ron had said, still holding him by the arm she had dragged him away with, before slowly letting go. Hermione, attention focussed on the two of them, suddenly became aware Harry was watching her and bent back down to her homework, looking slightly pink. Ron chatted for a while, then with a smile moved past Parvati and joined the rest of them in their favourite armchairs in front of the Hogwarts fire.

Hermione set her homework aside, a determined expression on her face. "Ron.." she began. "Homework," Ron interrupted with a grin. "You're about to nag me about homework."

A shocked expression crossed her face, to be replaced by anger. "I don't NAG, Ron. Don't say that to me, please."

"You DO nag, Hermione," replied Ron. "And yes, I know I'll have to finish the Potions essay, but I'll do that tomorrow, I've been thinking about some new tactics."

"You spend too much time on Quidditch, and not enough on homework," said Hermione. Harry, reading the signs, could see this argument was going to be a doozy. This was a bit more than their usual bickering. He quickly glanced at Ginny, who rolled her eyes.

"Calm down, you two," Harry interrupted. "Can't you argue quietly?"

"Oh quiet, Harry!" they said in unison. Comic looks of surprise covered both their faces, then both hardened into anger again.

"I'd never have agreed to persuade you be captain if I'd known you would be like this," said Hermione.

"PERSUADE me? It was between me and Harry, and he didn't want the job. You didn't PERSUADE me of anything," retorted Ron. "And what do you mean 'be like this'? Be like WHAT exactly?"

Hermione, stood up. "I'm going to bed," she said. As she moved off, Ron said quietly, but distinctly "Coward."

At this Hermione spun round. Maybe it was the insult. Maybe it was the long hours of work with too little sleep. Maybe it was the sight of Ron strutting around and shouting at Sloper and Kirk. But likely it was all of those things, and especially seeing Ron and Parvati share a private moment. Whatever the motivation Hermione said loudly in an extremely penetrating voice "Ronald Weasley, you have been acting like a complete BIG HEADED FOOL." Then as laughter broke out, she swept up to the girls dorms.

Ron stared up after her. "What is UP with that girl? 'Big Headed Fool'? What kind of an insult is that?" He sat down in her unoccupied chair and moodily began his essay. "Who even says 'big headed fool' anyway?"He seemed to find it difficult to concentrate, and after getting halfway through, muttering to himself, he went over to his tactics table and started moving figures about and scratching on a notepad with his quill. As the common room emptied, he gave up and sat next to Harry.

"Do you think I've been big headed?" asked Ron.

"She's just in a bad mood, mate," said Harry, avoiding the question. "You're doing great as captain."

"Hmmpf," went Ron.

"She'll probably come to you tomorrow and apologise," said Harry, scratching the end of his nose with his quill.

"I'll believe that when I see it," muttered Ron.

Rather than the situation defusing the next day, as Harry had expected it would, it seemed to get worse. Ron and Hermione had another shouting row after Ron haughtily informed Hermione she must "apologise publicly" since she had "detracted from his authority as Team Captain." Harry sat between them both, forcing conversation, and concentrated on enjoying his plate of eggs and bacon. Neither would speak to the other. It was pure Ron and Hermione.

Ron had decided to start their first tactics session straight away, so that night Harry, Ginny, Sloper, Kirk and various other Chaser hopefuls had gathered around a large tactics board Ron had borrowed from the Room of Requirement. Hermione had sat close by, pretending not to be listening. She was as curious as the rest of them what tactics Ron had been working on.

"Now, listen up," began Ron, pacing back and forward. "Some of you are already in the team. Some of you are hoping to get in the team. NONE of you should be complacent about your place in the team. I select on form, not friendship, so I expect 100 percent effort from all of you, is that understood?"

Hermione could be heard to snort softly. Without looking in her direction, Ron said "I don't think people who aren't part of the team should be here. We don't want any advance notice of our tactics getting out." Harry could see an anger line appear on Hermione's forehead...this was stupid.

"Come on, Ron,"said Harry seriously. "No-one who's here would say anything about this."

Something in Harry's face made Ron realise he was being out of order. It might also have had something to do with the way Ginny was fingering her wand and glaring at him, too.

"Yes, well..anyway. I trust all of you of course. Anyway, I have had a difficult decision to make. Kirk, Sloper!" Their heads both jerked up at being singled out like this. "You are both vastly improved since last year, but you are not out and out Beaters. You are fast and speedy, and both very good fliers, but this is not the most important thing in the skillset of a Beater. Therefore it would make sense to modify our tactics to use you both in a slightly different way."

"Now this may sound pretty strange at first, but bear with me and we will see where it takes us." Ron was beginning to get into his stride. In spite of herself, Hermione had laid down her book and started listening.

Ron turned to face them all suddenly and gestured with his hand, a look of intense concentration on his face. "What is the purpose of a Beater?" he asked simply.

Sloper looked at Kirke stupidly. "We...hit the Bludger?" he said. "Yes..." said Ron in a tone that clearly indicated he wanted more. Kirke added, more brightly, "We protect our teammates from the Bludger and use it to spoil the attacks of the other team."

"Is that all?" said Ron questioningly.

They glanced at each other again. "Yes?" they said.

"Not any more," said Ron. "You both have enough broom control to be up with attacking play, and to get back in defense should you need to. Why aren't you?"

A silence hung over them as they considered it. "Because that's not what Beaters do?" said Harry. "Why not?" asked Ron. "Where is the rule that says Beaters can only manipulate the Bludger?"

They all thought about this some more. Harry could see some appeal to the idea. "But, what would the Beaters do, in attack? They aren't allowed to score, I know that's against the rules."

"Who was our leading goalscorer last season?" demanded Ron.

"Angelina, of course," said Harry.

"So the other Chasers, what were they on the pitch for?"

"To act as feints, to help her out by taking away the other Chasers, or to act as pass throughs to get past opponents," said Ginny. She was beginning to see where Ron was going with this.

"Can you imagine how effective an attack it would be if there were 5 instead of 3 doing the same thing? If we set Kirk and Sloper back down the field, and we trained on a number of moves using them as pass through's, our attack would be practically unstoppable." finished Ron.

"There isn't any rule which says Beaters can't handle the Quaffle, I've checked. We could even have 4 part-Beater-part-Chasers, if Sloper and Kirk learned to pass the Beater bats between them and two of the Chasers. We'd have a more fluid system, those not in position for an attack could hand off the bats, and we'd keep one out and out goal scorer, probably you Ginny, to stay in an advanced position to feed off the four behind."

"Are you sure it's allowed?" asked Harry. "Pretty sure," said Ron. "I couldn't find anything AGAINST it. None of the professional teams try it, but they can't experiment much, can they?"

A palpable sense of excitement invaded the room. "That might just work," said Ginny musingly. "It's a great idea!" said Sloper. Even Hermione looked on, smiling, she seemed about to say something, then thought better of it.

"There are disadvantages, "continued Ron. "One, it would take a heck of a lot of secret training to get used to the system. We'd spend a lot of time on the bat pass, as that's the trickiest part. Two, its success relies a lot on their Beaters and what they do. Instead of sending the Bludger in to disrupt their defence, we'd be better hitting it off into space, making their Beaters chase it down and give us time to get our own forward to help with the attack. And three, most importantly it's going to be a huge strain on our Seeker, who'll be practically undefended."

They all looked at Harry. "On the Firebolt, I can avoid Bludgers blindfolded," he said simply.

Ron said "I hesitated over bringing this to you, as it's quite a gamble. We could win the Cup on the strength of the players we've got, but I think it would be a close run thing. Slytherin are very strong this year, from what I've heard. This way, we will steamroller them. They shouldn't be able to live with the tactics, and we'll be trying something new, something that no-one at Hogwarts has tried before."

"Of course it could all be a terrible catastrophe, completely fail and we'd be laughing stock."

"Let's try a few training sessions," Harry suggested. "Try out the new system, and play to our strengths."

"The main difficulty will be getting the privacy to try it out. The Quidditch pitch isn't exactly private."said Hermione, suddenly butting in. "I think I know a charm that could help.You could set up a wall of mist..."

Ron scowled at her. "I've already thought of that problem. I asked Parvati to round up a few volunteers to act as crowd control. They'll keep stragglers or spies away with dungbombs or a few jinxes."

"My way doesn't need Parvati to break any school rules..."

"But it does need you to show off as usual," Ron blurted out.

"Ron," said Harry quietly.

Ron turned his glare on Harry. "A charm like Hermione's suggesting will be like a billboard shouting 'GRYFFINDORS HIDING SOMETHING HERE!!' So what if a few school rules are broken, at least my way has a hope of being discreet."

"There's no need to be rude!" said Ginny angrily. "Come on Hermione. Meeting's over anyway."

Ron clenched his fists as he watched Hermione and Ginny stalk away. "Women...," he muttered. Then he seemed to collect himself, realising everyone was staring at him. "Meeting's over!" he said unnecessarily. "I'll post up the training times as late as possible, we'll book at the last minute so everyone keep up to date on homework or you might have to miss a night's sleep.The opposition'll try to spy on us, so I'll put in a few dummy bookings."

As the others moved away, Harry stayed by Ron and his tactics board. "You want a hand getting this back to the Room?" Ron didn't look him in the eye. "Yeah...you want to get the cloak? I could move it back tonight."

A few minutes later they were shuffling along to the third floor corridor where the Room of Requirement appeared. "Ron," began Harry. "You're not going to let this stuff ruin your friendship with Hermione. It's just stupid."

"I know Harry...she just gets me so mad sometimes. Why won't she ever admit...," he paused, "admit...she's wrong."

"I'll say sorry tomorrow. I hate it when we're not speaking."

"Me too, mate," said Harry fervently. "Me too."