Disclaimer: If I owned Sonny with a Chance, well. I wouldn't be writing fanfiction, now would I? (Hint: No. I wouldn't.)
A/N: Hello, lovelies! I'm back, yay. It's been a whole fifteen seconds. I just can't stay away (: Anyway, I got this idea from a flash fiction I wrote in my (joke of a) Creative Writing class last year…and thought, hey, I can tweak this ("tweak" meaning I only kept the last line and a bit of the concept, hah). Enjoy, please!

"CHAD!" That voice came wafting—no, that's too tame; more like screeching—down the hallway.

Portlyn swaggered over to me and flicked me in the ear. "I think somebody's looking for you."

I waved her away. "Oh, I hear her," I said casually, staying seated. I had a hair out of place that needed fixed pronto. "But I'm not going to go meet her. She can come to me."

Portlyn crossed her arms and we had a mirror stare-down. Finally she rolled her eyes and made that I'd-be-sexy-if-I-wasn't-trying-so-hard pouty face. "But Chaaad," she whined, putting a manicured hand on my shoulder. "She's so annoying. She doesn't belong here."

Finally I spun my chair around to face her. "No kidding, Portlyn. She's a…" I wrinkled my nose. "…comedy actor. Now go brush your hair or something, would you?"

At that moment Sonny walked in, heels clacking against the floor. Her cheeks were flushed and she was clutching something. "Chad, you'd better have a good explanation for this," she hissed, waving whatever it was at me.

Portlyn pursed her lips and gave Sonny a very obvious up and down. "God, Chad, what do you see in that?"

I glared at her. "Can you please stop being so pathetically jealous?"

She huffed at me, then flipped her hair in Sonny's direction and walked away. Or strutted. That girl never lets up. Look, Portlyn. Chad Dylan Cooper won't date you. Went down that road once, just for publicity. Never again.

I shook my head, and then slowly spun my chair back around to face an angry little storm cloud. Get it? Storm cloud? Like the opposite of sunny? Like Sonny? I'm so clever. "Can I help you?" I asked languidly, looking as bored as possible.

Wordlessly, Sonny thrust her fistful of paper at me. I uncrumpled it and read it as slooooowly as possible, because it was making her mad and I really get a kick out of making her mad. Meanwhile, she crossed her arms and tapped her foot at me impatiently.

Oh yeah, I remembered this. It was a page of this week's Tween Weekly, an exclusive interview I'd given right after that godawful "HottiEMT" sketch. In giving the interview, I'd taken as much focus off the…pig kissing…(oh God, I wanted to throw up just thinking about it) and turned it around to focus completely on Sonny's falling in love with me. I mean, come on, that's why she let the pig attack me, right? I was there when she got stumbly around me, and when she got lost in my eyes. She knew I was right about falling in love, so she avoided it in any way possible. Kinda sad, really.

I looked up, and Sonny's face was still flushed and furious. "Well?" she said sharply, her tone matching her eye-daggers.

Shrugging, I handed the ripped out page back to her. "I think it's pretty clear," I shrugged.

"Chad," Sonny said quietly, like she wasn't opening her teeth. "You told millions of people that I am in love with you!"

"You know, all I heard out of that was 'Chad…I am in love with you,'" I remarked with a flash of my signature smirk. "It's nice that you're finally admitting it. I'll let Tween Weekly know."

Sonny growled (I'm not kidding. She literally growled. She was seriously pissed now. Heh.). "Chad, you are the most egomaniacal, pathetic excuse of a person I've ever met. I didn't want to kiss you because you are a pig, and not because I'm in love with you."

Ahahaha, my next interview with Tween Weekly was going to be sick. You see how you can clip that little tirade? 'Chad…I…want to kiss you because…I'm in love with you.' Isn't the press awesome?

I swear, I could practically see that smoke coming out of her ears. I half expected to hear a train whistle, like in cartoons? Ah, the Chadster knows how to push Sonny Munroe's buttons, and it is hi-larious. But I kept a straight face. I'm a real actor, after all. "Sonny, Sonny, Sonny," I said comfortingly, standing and putting my hands on her shoulders. "It's okay. I understand. Chad Dylan Cooper is irresistible. You tried so hard to resist, but you finally succumbed, and that frustrates you. But you don't need to lie anymore. Everyone understands. You might as well just kiss me. I'd let you, and I know you want to. I see it in your eyes."

Sonny sneered. "The only thing you see in my eyes is your own reflection." She yanked herself away from me and marched away. Right before she walked out the door she whipped around to face me again and said dangerously, pointing at me (oooooh, pointing. I'm sooooo scared), "Chad, you are going to regret this. You're the biggest megalomaniac I know, and I will never kiss you."

With that, she spun on her heel and stalked off.

I smirked. You see how I can bend that, right? "Chad…I will…kiss you."

Oh, she totally wants me.