Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
AN: First Glee fic. It might suck, but here it is: Faberryness.
Confusion
Quinn Fabray was confused. She wanted to kiss Rachel Berry. To feel her lips against her own and hold her hand. She wanted to date Rachel.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Not now with her reputation already on the edge. Not when she could be kicked out of her house at any moment. And most certainly not when she's pregnant with her boyfriend's best friend's baby. But she could not get Rachel Berry out of her head. The annoying, short, diva had been occupying her thoughts constantly lately and she couldn't figure out why.
She looked over to her boyfriend, Finn, conversing easily with the brunette that currently occupied her thoughts. She felt a wave of jealousy, wanting to be over there light and carefree, happily talking and earning shy glances and wide smiles from the other girl.
It had started when they sang that stupid song to her, "Keep Holdin' On." Rachel and Finn were singing to her, she looked over to Finn and locked eyes. His were filled with care – but nothing more. It was then that she realized that they loved each other but weren't in love. Then she was facing Rachel, and she couldn't describe the feeling she felt when their eyes met. That was what was most annoying about it that she didn't know how to describe what she was feeling toward the younger girl. She had felt rough calloused fingers interlace with hers during the song and there was a flash of desire to hold softer hands. She looked at Rachel's confused as to how she ever called her Man Hands, because in that moment she wanted to be holding Rachel's hand and not Finn's.
But if she was truly honest, she thought as she watched the brunette laugh, it might have even started before then. She would watch, enraptured, Rachel's online videos of her belting out show tunes. At the time it felt like jealousy, envy, but of what she wasn't sure. The comments she had left on the videos left her empty and yet she couldn't figure out why. She had always tormented Rachel Berry, if even unintentional. It was a habit that she had only come to break very recently. Rachel had been an easy target, but it didn't stop her from feeling a sting every time she saw Rachel's hurt face after an insult. Somehow though, Rachel would always get a look on determination that would outweigh whatever hurt she was feeling. Quinn liked that Rachel was strong, admired her for it. She knew if she had been in Rachel's position, humiliated and slusheed almost everyday, she wouldn't have been able to stop her tears.
Not saying that they were friends, but when all you have left is a Glee club for company, you learn to make changes.
Now as she found herself watching her boyfriend and enemy she was surprised to find she was jealous of Finn, not of Rachel. He could easily go up to her and have a conversation with the brunette because he was the golden boy. He never was one to purposely mean to anyone, even if he was friends with those that were making high school hell for others; while Quinn had tormented relentlessly those she now wished she could call her friends. But it wasn't that simple to just forgive and forget, which Quinn knew, just another reason that she stayed in her seat, instead of conversing with others.
She watched Rachel's lips move quickly as she spoke; Quinn was sure she had never seen anyone talk so fast in her life. Rachel's plump red lips moved quickly and Quinn was captured by them. She saw Rachel's tongue sweep out and lick her lips and she subconsciously felt her own tongue do the same.
Rachel quickly looked up and their eyes met. There it was again, the same look that Quinn couldn't figure out, the same feeling from when Rachel looked at her when she sang to her. She had the same feeling in the pit of her stomach when their eyes connected. She quickly adverted her eyes and looked away then turned her attention to Mr. Shue who had just walked into the room.
"Sorry, guys, I had to wait for the copy machine," he said passing out the sheet music and then grumbling something about Coach Sylvester under his breath. Rachel and Finn stood up to do their normal lead pairings and Quinn was glad for once that the diva had the lead because she could stare at her without being questioned.
She watched as the short brunette twirled around with her boyfriend, watching as her skirt flew out exposing her toned legs. Quinn felt her face grow warm as she watched Rachel's legs, moving as she performed the choreography flawlessly.
'What is going on with me?' She asked herself, 'It has to be the hormones' she thought as she forced herself to move her eyes up Rachel's body to her face. Rachel, who must've been watching Quinn, gave her a smirk, obviously knowing that Quinn was checking her out.
Quinn felt her face completely flush at the thought, she had been checking Rachel out, quite obviously too. And she had been caught checking out Rachel Berry by Rachel, of all people. She glanced around the room to make sure no one else had seen her. Her eyes met Kurt's and he quirked an eyebrow in her direction. Quinn quickly looked away knowing Kurt had caught her as well.
The music ended and she saw Rachel grin at the accomplishment of finishing a new song and Finn slung his arm around her. Rachel quickly brushed it off avoiding eye contact with Quinn and Quinn simply shrugged. She knew that Finn was into Rachel and only stayed with her because of the baby.
"Ok guys, that's wrap," Mr. Schuester said and everybody grabbed their bags and stood to leave. As Quinn was walking down the hallway she found someone fall into step next to her.
"Do you want me to drive you home?" Finn asked as her interlaced their fingers.
"I think I'll walk," Quinn said dropping his hand as the reached the front of the school. She didn't really want to walk, but she didn't really want to be with Finn right now. A walk would help her focus her thoughts.
"Are you sure?" He asked glancing to her stomach.
"Yes Finn, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm incompetent. I can still walk," she snapped. She didn't mean too, but lately he had been treating her like a piece of glass and she was sick of it. He was silent unsure of what to do.
"I'm sorry, just tired you know? I'll walk, but thank you," she said pecking him on the cheek. He smiled and gave her a nod and walked off to his car. Quinn stood by the door of the school and watched him drive off and others leave as well. She exchanged goodbyes with everyone, as they passed her, not really questioning her standing around after rehearsal. Just as Quinn picked up her bag to start her trek home Rachel came out, the last person to leave as usual.
"Oh hello Quinn," Rachel said as she came out of the building, surprised to find the blonde still standing there. She looked around noticing that her car was one of the last in the parking lot and glanced back at Quinn.
"You're walking?" she asked and Quinn nodded. Rachel looked hesitant to let her walk; it wasn't exactly the warmest day in Lima, and she knew that Quinn lived far off.
"Hey Quinn, you want a ride?" she yelled to the girl before she walked too far off. Quinn turned and looked back at Rachel hesitating. She turned down a ride from her boyfriend, but she found herself eagerly wanting to accept one from Rachel. She glanced back at the road and thought of the mile walk she had ahead of her, in the chilly weather that she had misjudged before. She nodded her head, "Yeah that'd be great, thanks." Mr. Schuester saw the two girls walking towards Rachel's car and smiled at the fact that they were finally getting along. He didn't think twice about it as he climbed into his own vehicle and drove away.
She followed Rachel to her car and climbed into the passenger seat. Rachel sent her a smile before going to put the key in the ignition, but then she stopped to look at Quinn. Quinn felt Rachel struggling with a question and knew it would only be a moment before the brunette's curiosity won out. She felt the question coming from the moment she accepted a ride with Rachel.
"I have a question, more of observation really. But it is in question for so, technically it is a question," Rachel rambled only stopping when threw a glare at her.
"You were staring at me today," Rachel said, and it came out more as a statement rather than a question.
"The baby is Puck's," Quinn said almost on an impulse.
"What?" Rachel asked shock coming to her face. She looked over to Quinn who wasn't making eye contact with her. She saw tears start to form behind the blonde's eyes and roll down her cheeks and paint her face.
"Don't cry Quinn," Rachel said comfortingly as she scooted closer to the other girl wrapping her arms around her and pulling Quinn closer to her. Quinn rested her head in the crook of her neck. Rachel couldn't help but inhale the vanilla shampoo Quinn used and she took a deeper breath of the delicious scent, sighing.
"Shh, it's ok. It'll be ok," Rachel whispered as she felt Quinn shudder from her tears.
"How? How will it be ok?" Quinn asked causing Rachel to shiver from the feeling of Quinn's lips tickling her neck as she spoke, "I'm lying to my boyfriend, having his best friend's baby and I'm attracted to someone else," she exclaimed as Rachel held her. For the first time Rachel was rendered speechless.
Quinn found herself smile at the thought of a speechless Rachel and she positioned herself further into Rachel's neck inhaling her unique scent of strawberries. Quinn had calmed down but the two girls stayed huddled together.
Quinn sighed as Rachel's fingers worked through her hair massaging her scalp. She opened her eyes and look at Rachel's neck amazed at how soft her skin looked. She felt her face flush as she nuzzled further into Rachel's neck. Her lower abdomen twisted as she thought about touching every inch of Rachel's skin.
Rachel froze as she felt lips press against her neck. 'Maybe it was a mistake?' She thought but that thought quickly vanished as she felt Quinn's lips brush down her neck and latch onto her collarbone. Rachel gasped and cleared her throat, "Q-Quinn?" she managed to stutter out.
This was a first for Rachel, Quinn had made her speechless and stutter all in the same hour, not even Finn had had that affect on her and the singer wasn't used to not knowing what to say.
"I understand you aren't thinking straight, but you should think about what you're doing right now. I mean obviously you're not in your right state of mind, what with kissing me and all," Rachel grumbled out as Quinn's hands wrapped themselves around her neck and Quinn pulled herself closer to Rachel.
"Berry?" Quinn said as she removed her lips from Rachel's neck.
"Yes?"
"Will you shut up?" Quinn said, and before Rachel could speak she attached their lips. Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn instinctively and relished in the feeling of her soft lips. She heard Quinn moan as she tangled her hands in her loose blond hair again and she smiled. As Quinn tried to deepen the kiss Rachel felt herself become more aware of whom she was kissing and she pulled away, much to the dismay of the blonde.
She couldn't really place when the crush had started to form; all Quinn knew was that she felt safe with Rachel. With Finn she was safe, but it was empty; something was missing. With Puck, he only cared on his own time. But with Rachel she was safe and she felt wanted. Rachel made her heart skip beats and her stomach flutter and all she really wanted to do was kiss her again to get that sensation of timelessness back. Because when she was kissing Rachel nothing else mattered except them.
"So you're obviously upset and I honestly think this pregnancy is messing with your hormonal balance. Are you eating correctly, a good diet will help keep the hormones in check as well. Are you taking pre-natal vitamins?" Rachel asked. Quinn just watched the brunette as she spoke before she busted out laughing.
"Obviously it's the hormones," muttered Rachel.
"Rachel," Quinn said demanding attention and Rachel listened because it was the first time Quinn had said her name without an insult attached, "It's not my hormones. I've been wanting to do that for a few weeks now," Quinn said taking in the singer's shocked face. It was adorable how her mouth almost made an "o" shape. Then a thought dawned on her.
"Of course, I understand if you don't feel the same way," Quinn said making space between her and Rachel, "I just sprung this on you and I've basically tortured you your entire high school career, so there's no reason for you to even talk to me right now. And you probably think it's pathetic that I'm now a pregnant ex-Cheerio delving into the realms of possible lesbianism. All I know is that I can't really help what you feel and now I know you think I'm a freak." 'Oh how the tables have turned' thought Quinn.
"Quinn, as a girl with two gay fathers I am perfectly open to accepting you and as far as being a freak, you are far from it. And I'll have you know it is not pathetic to follow what you feel, it's perfectly normal be attracted to the same sex. You're not my first venture into feelings for other girls. Of course, you would be the only one where any acting on my feelings was just a fantasy in my head," Rachel said smiling lightly. Now it was Quinn's turn to look surprised. She never thought the brunette to having feelings for another girl, let alone her.
Quinn sat there in the car, unsure what to do. She had been thinking about this moment for a few weeks and now it was happening and she didn't know what to say. So she did the next best thing, she leaned closer to Rachel again and started kissing her. This time there was no hesitation between the girls when their lips met. Rachel's hands eagerly tangled in Quinn's hair knowing it made her moan the first time. Quinn's tongue slid across Rachel's bottom lip and access was granted almost immediately.
Quinn's hands tickled at the bottom of Rachel's shirt and her fingertips slid under playfully. Rachel's stomach was soft yet firm and Quinn felt her muscles tense and quiver under her fingers. Rachel's mouth moved to her neck and she threw her head back allowing her to have better access. She shivered as she felt Rachel's tongue slide across her neck. Rachel's hands slid under the back of her shirt drawing patterns on her skin and Quinn brought herself closer to Rachel, throwing her leg over Rachel's and straddling her. Quinn connected their mouths again in a hot, passionate kiss moaning at the feeling of Rachel's tongue against her own.
Eventually the two pulled apart to catch their breath. Quinn rest her forehead on Rachel's breathing heavily. Quinn looked into Rachel's dark chocolate eyes at grinned, they were definitely darker now than they had been.
Rachel finally broke the silence with the lingering question, "What about tomorrow? Finn? Puck?" she asked. Quinn swallowed to clear her throat, which had gone dry. She pulled away from Rachel but not by much, so that they were still touching.
"It hasn't been right with Finn, and I know he's not in love with me anymore. I think he staying with me because he thinks the baby is his, but I can't do that to him anymore. I'm going to end it. Besides he obviously has feelings for you," Quinn said looking pointedly at Rachel who grinned sheepishly.
"I might have noticed that he had feelings for me," She responded and Quinn chuckled.
"As for Puck, that was a mistake that won't happen again. And tomorrow we'll deal with that when it happens," Quinn said. Rachel nodded. Quinn knew the girl would need a plan eventually but for now, everything was good. Rachel leaned over and kissed Quinn on the lips lightly. Unlike the kisses before, this one was sweet and simple but caring. Then she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.