Disclaimer: Anything you recognize from the mass effect franchise is Bioware's, everything else is mine!
Quick Note: I've rewritten all of the old chapters and added some new one's to add more depth to the story, so just reading the new one's might be confusing. I've done some spelling correction as-well, no more heart with two h's :).
Part 1: Back From the Dead
The feeling of cold metal pressing against the underside of her arm brought her out of her thoughts, tired but to afraid to fall asleep she had forced herself to stay awake as she had taken a break from going through the dossiers sent through the Cerberus channel to her computer. Her head had come to rest on her right arm, her eyes fixed on the small red flashing dot in the right corner of the computer screen, the touch of metal brought her back to the Lazarus station were she had awoken a couple of days earlier after being "dead" for just over two years. It all seemed so surreal to her. She had died, that much was clear to her, and then they had brought her back and she didn't know what to feel about it. Even how strange it might seem to her now when she looked back at the last couple of minutes alive and the Normandy falling apart all around her, she had been at peace at last, all worries gone. Why couldn't they just have left her alone? As her arm began feeling numb, almost asleep, she raised her head, moving the arm around in the air as she tried to get back the blood circulation. A quick look at the watch on her wrist told her she had been sitting there for almost four hours, not for a very long time, but spending any more time without anything to do would certainty lead to her falling asleep. Moving her hand over the screen brought the computer out of sleeping mode, revealing the dossier of a Salarian scientist by the name of Mordin Solus on Omega, their first stop after leaving the Minute Man station. She turned it off, resting her back against the chairs back support, watching the black screen for a couple of seconds before pushing herself away from the table, rising to her feet. Not feeling like reading at the moment, she slowly made her way towards the bed were several outfits lay prepared for her, all marked with a big orange C. The initial shock as to whom had brought her back had settled down, she had never in her wildest imaginations imagined that one of her enemies would pour almost unlimited resources on her. She had firmly believed it had been the Alliance that had brought her back, up until she had met Jacob at the Lazarus station and he had explained the situation to her. There had been on more than one occasion during her hunt for Saren and Sovereign that she had stopped Cerberus plans, and now she was working with them, all kind of thoughts going through her mind. Would she ever be able to see her old friends again? What would they think about her new found "friends"? Would they believe her when she said that it was only a temporary alliance to stop the Collectors? Did she even believe it herself? What if she was branded an outlaw by the Council and the Alliance, would they send someone after her, just as she had hunted Saren? Would her mother be told that her daughter had gone rogue and aligned herself to criminals? She took a deep breath as she stood a moment in silence, trying to clear her head of all unpleasant thoughts that she had no control over at the moment, it wouldn't do anyone any good if she kept dwelling on them. Tilting her head backwards as she stared out through the window above the bed, her eyes followed the stars that passed by as the Normandy sped through space. She stood there in the dark for a couple of minutes, collecting herself, before once again turning her attention back onto the bed and the uniforms, reaching out towards one of the shirts, one that she had seen many of the crew wearing. The feeling of the uniform moving over her scarred skin pained her, the wounds were far from fully healed yet, but she was used to far worse. Finally fully dressed, she turned around and walked back up the few steps that separated the room, turning off the last of the lights before stepping out into the small corridor. Taking the few steps that separated the door leading into her cabin and the elevator, she pressed the call button to bring it up to her level. As it was the only elevator in the ship, she wasn't surprised that she had to wait some times when she traveled in-between the floors. Most of the crew would be using it to move in-between their working stations and the sleeping quarters of the SR-2, but she didn't have to wait for long this time. The door leading into the elevator slid open with a familiar beep, revealing the empty space within as she stepped up to the numerical pad inside which would let her chose which floor she wanted to move down to. Her hand remained stretched out as she had not given any thought to were she would go, the door leading into the elevator closing but remained still as no destination had been chosen. The first thought that passed through her mind was that of going down to the CIC and head over to the Normandy's bridge and have a chat with Joker, but at this late hour he was most likely asleep. Finally, she chose the crew quarters as her destination. If she was lucky there might be something to eat. As she had skipped dinner to be able to read through the dossiers, she was feeling a little hungry. The elevator ride down took merely a couple of seconds, revealing the dim-lit corridor to her. Stepping out of the elevator she wasn't surprised to see all doors emitting a light-red color, letting her know everyone was asleep or had left their working stations for the day. As she slowly made her way down the corridor, a door on her left emitting a green light piqued her interest, she stopped next to it and read the nameplate that had been placed next to it. It belonged to the ships Yeoman, a woman named Kelly Chambers. She raised her hand towards the control pad, but stopped halfway. What if the Yeoman had simply forgotten to lock the door and she would awaken her? Well, there's only one way to find out, she told herself as her hand pressed the pad and the door slid open, revealing the room on the other side to her. O O OYeoman Chambers let out a yawn as she stretched out both her hands above her head, towards the roof, feeling the tiredness creep up on her. She had been awake for well over a day and skipped both lunch and dinner in order to be able to sort out all the dossiers, notes and messages that had been delivered to the Commanders computer, something that took more time than she could have imagined. But that was only one of her duty's on the Normandy, unofficially she was there to keep an eye on the crews physical health and offer an ear if they needed to talk so she had also been given a set of the dossiers on the different specialists they were picking up. She'd also been given an extensive dossier on the Commander herself, something she had been tempted to read as soon as she had seen it, but as they weren't to far away from Omega she had put her curiosity aside.
Kelly reached out for the glass of water standing next to her screen, placed it against her lips before sweeping the last of it. Every single one of the ones they were picking up had a very interesting background story, but for some reason, the only one that she couldn't stop thinking about was Shepard. Saving the Council, stopping Sovereign and hailed as humanity's hero, just to be killed shortly after and be brought back by Cerberus, a vowed enemy of the Alliance. Surely there must be a lot going through the Commanders mind at the moment, and Kelly wondered if she would ever get the time to sit down and talk it over with her. She didn't get to dwell on it for any length of time as the sound of someone pressing the door-pad on the door leading into her room reached her ears, the surprise to see the Commander standing there almost made her fall off her chair, it was the last person she had expected to come and see her at this late an hour of the day.
It was the first time that she was face to face with Shepard, the only glimpse she had gotten of the woman before was from a newscast after the defeat of Sovereign. Her short dark red hair, cut just under the ears, headed in all directions but Kelly was certain the Commander had more serious things to worry about than keeping a good haircut. The scars were clearly visible over her face, a big, nasty looking one going across the entire length of her forehead caught Kelly's attention before she stopped on the eyes. They were light blue and emitted a light glow, a side effect from the surgery on Lazarus station was the first reason that went through the Yeoman's mind, or lenses. They looked confidently on her, but there was something else, they seemed tired and not just from the lack of sleep, but she would have no chance to guess why. Whatever it was it, it all added to the mystery and beauty of the woman that stood before her. Shepard was wearing one of the Cerberus black and white uniforms, although most of them were in that color, it was the one that had been issued as a standard uniform amongst the rest of the crew.
- "I'm not disturbing you am I?" Jenna leaned against the doorway, crossing her arms over her chest as she studied the Yeoman sitting behind her desk.
The orange hair color made her stand out amongst the rest of the crew and Jenna was certain she had seen the Yeoman upon entering the SR-2 for the first time with Miranda and Jacob. Roughly her own age she would've guessed, Her green, bloodshot eyes looked as if they were about to fall asleep at any moment, it was obvious she wasn't the only one who had work to do that couldn't wait.
- "No, not at all." Kelly slowly rose to her feet, giving the Commander a quick salute before she made a gesture towards the chair on the other side of her desk to invite Shepard inside. "Take a seat, if you'd like."
Kelly watched the Commander as she pulled out the chair and sat down, pain washing over her face as she rested her back against the hard metal that was the chairs back support, obviously there was more scars than was visible to the eye that hadn't fully healed yet.
- "You always work this late?" Jenna's eyes wandered the small room as she spoke, almost feeling bad for having her own luxurious cabin all for her own when she saw how the others had to live aboard the ship.
The Yeoman's room contained no more than a small bunk-bed that had had the upper bed removed and a small desk next to it with an alarm clock similar to her own. A desk was centered in the room with one chair on either side of it and a personal computer, nothing personal had been left out in the open as far as Jenna could see from were she was sitting.
- "Sometimes, depends on how much work there is to do, it doesn't bother me that much." Kelly had to fight to keep the yawns at bay, she wasn't going to give the Commander an excuse to leave. "But what brings you down here, I'd expect you to be getting some rest before we arrive at Omega, Ma'am."
- "Please, you can call me Jenna, I get to hear Ma'am or Commander enough as it is." A smile formed on Jenna's lips as her eyes met that of Kelly's. "And to answer your question, I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk and happened to stumble upon your door, miss Chambers."
- "Okay Jenna, then it's just Kelly for you." Returning the smile, Kelly crossed her legs and clasped her hands together over her lap before continuing. "Was there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"
- "Perhaps you'd like to tell me a little bit about your role here on the Normandy, I doubt keeping track of messages takes up all of your time?" Jenna could see the surprise across Kelly's face as she brought the subject up, obviously she was right and as tired as she was the Yeoman had a hard time hiding it.
Kelly remained silent for a few seconds. She could of course try and talk her way out of the situation, but what good would it do? The Commander was no idiot and lying to her wasn't a good start to their friendship.
- "Well, that's only my official duty, I'm also here to keep track of the crew's mental state. We all know this might be a one way trip and we all react differently to the stress it brings along." They had all been handpicked by the Illusive Man himself, they all knew what was expected of them and that added even more pressure on some of the crew, even though it hadn't begun to show just yet.
- "That's true." It struck Jenna as odd that there wasn't someone like Kelly aboard every larger ship with the Alliance, sometimes they would spend months out in space hunting pirates or raiders and the VAO would be far away. "It's good to have someone like you aboard the Normandy, Kelly."
- "Thank you, but I have to ask, seeing as I have you here in my room, if you'd be willing to answer some questions regarding your time during the hunt for Saren and Sovereign?" Kelly knew she could probably get all the answers from the dossier on her computer, but hearing it from the woman herself whom had actually been there was far more interesting and it was hard to discern emotions from words written by someone else who hadn't been there and didn't know what to look for.
- "Go ahead, I don't mind at all." Jenna placed her right leg over her left, trying to find a comfortable position which wouldn't put to much pressure on her scars as she patiently awaited for Kelly to start the questioning.
- "Eden Prime, we've all heard of your actions to save the colony but you also lost one of your squad, Corporal Jenkins if I'm not mistaken, how did that feel for you?" Kelly didn't know if it was the mention of the Colony or Jenkins, but something clearly happened to the Commander as her eyes remained fixed on her, not moving at all.
Jenna closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath before opening them again and finding herself back at Eden Prime, just after their first encounter with a couple of flying geth drones. She was kneeling next to the young corporal, his face twisted in an expression of pain from the bullets that had ripped through his armor, killing him. His eyes was still open, staring up at her, accusing her of failing her duty of keeping him alive, as if asking: Why me and not you? It wasn't the first time she had seen that look and she often wondered herself what had kept herself alive when so many others had fallen. Slowly she moved her hand across his face, closing his eyes in the process. Picking up his assault rifle that lay next to him, placing it on his chest before closing his hands over it. The sound of explosions and gunfire caught her attention, she couldn't linger, there was still much to do and others whom relied on her.
Closing and opening her eyes once again, the sound of battle had died out and been replaced with the silent humming of the engine inside the cargo deck of the Normandy SR-1. Standing next to her on the right was the Mako but what caught her attention was the two coffins in steel that had been placed at it's nose. They belonged to the Specter Nihlus and Corporal Jenkins. As she made her way in-between them she let her fingertips of her right hand touch the lid on one of them, feeling the cold metal as if she was there once again.
- "Commander, are you alright?" Moving her hand in-front of Jenna's eyes finally caught the Commanders attention away from were her thoughts had drifted, a confused look was all Kelly got as their eyes met, as if Jenna wasn't sure what had transpired herself.
- "I-I'm sorry, old memories came back to me." Jenna moved her hand over her forehead, the scars reminding her that she had been dead as well, wondering if she had been placed in a similar coffin. "It's never easy to lose someone under your command, no matter the reason, they all expect you to bring them home in one piece."
- "I'm sorry, we shouldn't continue this if it causes you to much pain." No matter how much she wanted to learn more about the Commander, the pain and guilt she had seen for the minute or so that Jenna had been lost in thoughts was enough to tell Kelly that she had hit a soft spot.
- "No, it's alright, it's just that usually I don't talk about it." Thinking back, Jenna couldn't remember ever talking about it to anyone actually.
Of course, there hadn't been much time during the hunt for Saren and it wouldn't have done anyone any good if she had began dwelling on such things that she couldn't change. But as Sovereign had been defeated and she had been given some time to relax, the nightmares had began, first with a few days in-between until they returned to haunt her almost every night. It was something she hadn't told anyone, they all relied on her and what good would it do if they had to worry about her well being as-well? Therefore she had welcomed death when the Normandy had been attacked, all the pain had ceased and she would finally be rid of the nightmares.
- "How was it to see Tali again? I heard you met her down on Freedoms Progress." Kelly had skimmed through the report that Miranda had filed to the Illusive Man, there had been some heavy fighting, but nothing to serious. "I understand you let the Quarian, Veetor was it, go with her."
- "It was nice to see a familiar face, Tali was . . . is a good friend." They hadn't gotten as much time to talk as she would've liked, a lot must have happened for Tali in the two years that she herself had been dead. "And as for Veetor, he needed treatment, something I doubt Cerberus would've given him considering their human centric stand."
- "Not everyone who joins up with Cerberus hates aliens." Kelly shot back, obviously upset that Jenna might be pushing everyone in the organization over the same edge. "I respect Krogans, Salarians and Turians as much as I respect a human."
Kelly was also certain that most of the crew had been chosen, at-least partially, for their view on aliens. It wouldn't do anyone any good if there was mistrust between them aboard the ship as they hunted for the Collectors.
- "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." Jenna could see the sincerity across Kelly's face as she spoke and she was obviously upset that she was being placed amongst the larger group of radical pro-humans. "It's just that I don't trust the Illusive Man, he wouldn't hesitate to hurt the Quarian if he thought it would serve his purpose."
- "I understand, and I agree with you, but I don't want you to think that just because I wear a Cerberus uniform, that I agree with everything that this organization has done in the past." But she also believed the Illusive Man when he said that something had to be done about the missing colonists and the Reapers and if they waited for the Alliance to act, it might be to late.
- "That's good to hear Kelly." Jenna rose to her feet, pushing the chair back under the table before turning her attention back at the Yeoman. "I was about to get something to eat, and I could use some company. That is, if you're not to busy doing whatever you were doing before I interrupted you."
- "No, I'm almost dying of hunger myself, just let me shut this off and I'm ready." Kelly quickly shut down the computer before rising to her feet and headed over towards the door which Jenna had opened.
Stepping out into the corridor, Jenna waited for Kelly to lock her door before they began the walk towards the mess hall which wasn't far off. There was still no sign of anyone else, the corridor lights was turned into night mode, meaning that they only emitted enough light for anyone to see were they placed their foot and the only sound came from the elevator as it traveled in-between the floors. The walk between Kelly's room and the mess hall was a short one and it was as empty as she would've expected it to be at such a late hour. Gardner, the mess sergeant, had most likely gone to sleep as he had to be up earlier than the rest of the crew to prepare the morning meals, something which no doubt took some time.
The two of them walked over towards one of the tables were the trays containing the dinner had been placed, grabbing one each and a set of tableware before taking a seat at the nearest table. Sitting down on opposite sides of the table to be able to talk to each-other, Jenna pulled of the plastic that kept the food in place. Had it not been for the different colors the substances had, she would not have been able to tell them apart from each-other, the small text which would let her know what she was eating next was barely readable.
- "Sometimes I wish I was assigned to some remote colony." Kelly moved her fork through a substance with a red-like color that reminder her of jelly, but as she took a sample she soon regretted trying it, it tasted no more than plastic and metal. "So you could at-least get a decent meal from time to time, you know?"
- "Believe me, I know what you mean." Pulling up her own fork from the tray, a brownish liquid substance began dripping of it back onto the tray, her appetite lost once again. "But I don't think I could take all the waiting around, at-least we get to travel to places were some people only dream of going."
Having being raised on star-ships ans space-stations, Jenna had eaten her share of military grade rations throughout her life. Sometimes however, they would be worse than usual and she would go hungry for days before she would've eaten almost anything that had been placed on the tray.
- "I see, so that's why you enlisted with the Alliance, you wanted to see what's out there?" Kelly picked up one of the pieces of what was supposed to be bread, it was dry and hard as she took a bite, but at-least it tasted something.
- "I guess that was a part of it, both my parents also serve with the Alliance, but mostly it was because I would be given the chance to do something good." Jenna forced herself to down some of the not so disgusting liquids, she would need all the extra energy she could get once they docked at Omega.
- "As in the Skyllian Blitz?" Even though Kelly knew very little about the Commander, most humans knew who she was, even before she had become a Specter and hunted Saren down. "I haven't met anyone else who has been awarded the Star of Terra."
- "Yes, I did what I had to do that day, just like anyone else would have." Jenna had been surprised to receive one of the highest award within the Alliance after she had helped stop the attack, she never considered herself as someone special. "And the medal, you can have it if you want to, I think it's somewhere with the other stuff that the Illusive Man sent me from the time when I was serving with the Alliance."
- "Heh, thanks for the offer, but I think it would raise an eyebrow or two if a lowly Yeoman wore one of the highest awards within the Alliance, don't you think?" Kelly pushed away the tray as she had eaten what she could, any more and she might be sick.
- "We're all capable of extraordinary actions when the situation demands it, you don't need a medal to acknowledge that." The only reason she still kept it around was because her mother had been so proud when her daughter had received it, but she never wore it, it remained inside the small decorative box that had been given to her during the same occasion.
- "Well, for whatever it's worth, I'm glad you're here." Kelly had the fullest confidence in Jenna's abilities to handle the situation, if there was anyone that had the slightest chance of stopping the Collectors it was her. "And I'm certain that you'll stop the Collectors."
- "Don't worry, we'll defeat the Collectors and be home before someone knows we've been gone." Jenna rose to her feet, picking up the tray in the process, it was time to try and get some sleep before they reached Omega.
- "The moment I saw you, I knew I could close my eyes and fall back and you'd be there to catch me." A smile formed on Kelly's lips. There was something about the Commander that made her feel safe, all worries about the Collectors gone from her mind, she trusted the woman implicitly.
- "Catch you?" Jenna returned the smile as she dropped the tray and tableware into one of the nearby trash-bins. "I might do more than catch you, Kelly."
Kelly was baffled, unable to find words to reply she remained silent as her eyes followed Jenna until the Commander rounded the corner, out of sight. She remained at the table for several minutes, her brain processing what had been said over and over again before the tiredness came creeping back onto her. Kelly rose to her feet and threw away the tray before heading back towards her room, there was still some reading to be done before she could get some sleep.