THE ARRIVAL
"Just the place for the Snark!" the Detective cried,
As he parked the Range Rover with care;
Arranging his fashionable scarf round his neck
And adjusting his collar and hair.
.
"Just the place for the Snark! I have now said it twice:
That alone should convince all of you.
Just the place for the Snark! I have now told you thrice:
What I tell you three times must be true."
.
The team was complete: it included Lestrade-
(A DI of quite some renown) -
A Doctor, brought in to record their success -
And a Sergeant, her face in a frown.
.
There was also a Landlady, that sat in quiet calm,
Or would brew them some tea by and by:
And had often (the Detective said) saved him from harm,
Though none of the others knew why.
.
Mycroft was famed for the number of things
He brought when he started from home:
His umbrella, his watch, his tiepin and ring,
His assistant, his mobile phone.
.
He had forty-two files, all carefully sealed,
And 'Top Secret' stamped, clear and plain:
But, since he omitted to mention the fact,
They were all left behind in the rain.
.
The loss of his files hardly mattered, because
His assistant had brought her Blackberry,
And downloaded like mad: but the worst of it was,
He had wholly forgotten his teddy.
.
"His form is ungainly - his intellect small-"
(The Detective would often remark)
"But his courage is perfect! And that, after all,
Is the thing that one needs with the Snark."
.
He would talk with the enemy, returning its stare
With an impudent shake of the head:
And he once went a walk with a mass murderer
"Just to keep up my spirits," he said.
.
He came as an observer: but owned, when too late-
And it drove the Detective quite wild -
He was observing his brother – and this, I may state,
He had frequently done, since a child.
.
The Landlady, who happened to hear this remark,
Protested, with tears in her eyes,
That not even the rapture of hunting the Snark
Could atone for that dismal surprise!
.
She strongly advised that Mycroft should be
Sent home on the next London train:
But the Detective declared that would never agree
With the plans he had stored in his brain:
.
Navigation is always a difficult art,
When the SatNav has gone on the blink:
And he feared he must really decline: for his part,
Mycroft must map-read, and think.
.
The Detective's next course was, no doubt, to procure
A second-hand bullet-proof vest
(So Lestrade advised) –and always ensure
That he wore it right next to his chest.
.
The Assistant suggested (and offered her hire
On moderate terms, to obtain)
Two Insurance Policies, one Against Fire,
And one Against Damage From Rain.
.
Yet still, ever after that sorrowful day,
Whenever Mycroft was nigh,
The Landlady kept looking the opposite way,
And seemed unaccountably shy.