High Sensitivity
Part One
"Will you all just stop?" Quinn's harsh voice cut through those of the rest of the Gleeks, ushering them into hushed whispers. Rachel let out a labored breath, finally able to drop her guard a little. She'd just been suggesting a simple change to the choreography that would make their number run so much smoother, but Kurt and Mercedes freaked out. The singer had tried to ignore much of what they were saying to her, but it was hard not to hear when they called her a 'selfish, self-centered control freak who didn't know how to keep her mouth shut.' What was she supposed to say to that? It wasn't like she could try and refute their claims, especially not after Artie and Tina joined in, they just wouldn't listen to her. Instead, she just forced back her tears and tried to argue her point for the change in choreography. Just because they were being mean didn't mean that she had to back down. She'd never backed down before, after all, and they had never even tried to be nice to her. "Do you all want to win or not?"
Rachel was really surprised at the tone of Quinn's voice. It was harsher than any tone she'd ever used with her, and she'd been cutthroat. At least when they bickered, it seemed like Quinn was enjoying herself. This time around, she was just mad, and Rachel was getting the feeling that the rest of the Glee club did not want to mess with an angry pregnant girl, especially when that girl was Quinn.
"Because right now, you're all being inconceivably petty, and it's really starting to make me mad." Quinn continued. "Rachel's right, changing the choreography in the way she said will make the number run more smoothly, but you're all too busy acting on your dislike of her to realize that she has a valid point. I'm sick and tired of you all going after her like a pack of rabid dogs every single practice. She's just trying to help, so why don't you all just lay the fuck off."
Rachel couldn't ignore how her heart seemed to thump just a little bit faster in her chest. Her mind snapped back to the moment between her and Quinn only a few weeks before, the moment that she was sure was going to be the end of her, but turned out to be quite the opposite. Quinn had been acting nice for the past few weeks, smiling at her instead of smirking, greeting her in the halls, and sometimes even sitting next to her in Glee when no one else would. The brunette found it nice having someone who seemed to really care about her. For as much as she liked Finn and Finn seemed to like her, he'd never once stood up for her in Glee, not even when they'd attacked her in worse ways. He always just watched with that look in his eye like he was a giant puppy that had gotten kicked, but he'd never even tried to do anything about it.
There was just so much she didn't understand. She didn't understand why Finn didn't do anything about his obvious feelings for her. She didn't understand why she didn't care anymore if he tried or not. She didn't understand why she didn't get butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her, like she used to, instead finding them replaced with a feeling of uneasiness and dread. Most importantly, though, she didn't understand where Quinn Fabray fit in to any of this.
The girl had been so nice to her, it felt like a complete turnaround. She didn't understand why she wasn't feeling wearier of the girl than she was. Chalking it up to desperation didn't make sense. She was Rachel Berry, she didn't get desperate, not to the point where she would completely compromise herself and everything she stood for. Besides, it just didn't feel like Quinn was out to hurt her. She was acting too sincere for that, and Quinn wasn't that good of a liar. The singer was certain that Quinn had been blushing in the car two weeks before, and while she didn't know what that had meant, it had to mean something. It just had to mean something, in the same way that she couldn't help but remember the feeling of Quinn's soft lips in her cheek every time the girl did something nice for her. If she was going to be honest, Quinn Fabray just confused her in general.
It was frustrating that she couldn't figure out exactly what she was feeling and why. She didn't appreciate the loss of control in the matter. It was something she'd come to realize with her relationships with everyone. She needed to have some semblance of control, either over the course of her relationship or over her feelings. She'd done it with both Puck and Finn, but for some reason, she couldn't do it with Quinn. She couldn't stop herself from feeling whatever it was she was feeling for Quinn. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how long she laid awake at night and tossed and turned, the warm feeling in her chest would always seep back through. It was slow at first, but every so often, it would hit her like a hammer. Her heart would clench and she would feel dizzy, leaving her completely and utterly unable to focus on anything other than the girl with the sad hazel eyes. It was infuriating to no end, but she couldn't help but love it.
After Glee, Rachel found herself walking out of the school next to Quinn. Finn had gone off with Puck, they were having some sort of guy's night, leaving Quinn alone. It was almost a relief, because it left her able to be free and open around the blonde without worrying about Finn's pitiful gaze.
"I really appreciate what you did back there…" Rachel's voice was barely above a whisper as they walked down the front steps of the school and towards Quinn's car. "Thank you." Quinn shook her head softly, her blonde curls bouncing ever so slightly. The brunette couldn't help but smile at her.
"You don't have to thank me. They really were making me angry. It's all so ridiculous, you know? It's not like they're being subtle about their reasons for going after you." Quinn uttered as they reached her car. She paused for a moment at the driver's side door to look up at Rachel, her eyes asking for something her lips couldn't communicate, but it was something that Rachel didn't recognize. "Do you want to go for a drive?" Her voice was soft again, almost apprehensive. The singer wanted to tell her that 'want' was the wrong word to use in that question. Ever since the first time, she'd always wanted to go for a drive with Quinn. Even when they weren't talking, it was nice to just be in the company of someone that she could let her guard down around, at least somewhat.
Silence was where they ended up, but just as before, it was not unpleasant. They drove towards the outskirts of town, chasing the sun across the farmland as it began to sink below the horizon. It was well past rush hour by the time that they decided to stop and park for a moment, leaving them nearly alone as they sat in a small dirt pull off from the main road. Rachel couldn't stop thinking about how nice it was, to be sitting in a warm car with good company. No matter what her mind kept trying to tell her, her heart insisted that Quinn was a good person, and what kind of aspiring Broadway star would she be if she didn't follow her heart every once and a while?
It was Quinn that broke the silence as they both stared out of their respective windows, watching the stars slowly appear in the clear night sky.
"I'm sorry." The blonde sounds pained, like she's fighting to get her words past the lump beginning to form in her throat. It's a feeling that Rachel knows all too well, but its obvious Quinn hadn't learned how to hide it yet. Either that, or she just didn't want to. For once in her life, Rachel didn't interrupt, instead allowing Quinn to talk. "I've done such horrible things to you, and I don't even understand why. I mean, look at you. You're gorgeous, you're driven, you're passionate, and you've got a voice so amazing that I can't even describe it. You're everything most girls want to be and more. People treat you like crap every day, and you're still so nice to everybody. I don't understand it, but, I know you're something special. You're good enough to get out of here, Rachel, and I don't know why they're trying to hold you back, or why I tried to hold you back. God, I'm so sorry…" She choked out the last line with a sob, and Rachel quickly reached across the center console to place a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm not going to say its okay, everything you did to me, but I forgive you." Rachel spoke in a gentle voice, rubbing soft circles on Quinn's back. Even though she couldn't make out Quinn's features in the darkness, she could see her frame shaking softly. Without thinking, the brunette unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted over until she was straddling the center console, allowing her to wrap her arms around Quinn.
Quinn didn't cry like her, was the first thing she noticed. Quinn cried much in the same way that she seemed to hold herself, poised, graceful, introverted. She was nearly silent as the tears rolled down her cheeks in soft streams, her body shaking in Rachel's arms. It was almost like she was ashamed to be crying, or ashamed to be crying in front of somebody else. It didn't seem like something she would appreciate, so Rachel just held her until her tears stopped. It wasn't more than a minute or two, but every second that the pregnant girl spent leaning in to her felt like a beautiful eternity. Her heart was telling her that this was right, and she'd already decided that she was going to always listen to her heart when it came to Quinn, because her mind just seemed to confuse things.
Softly, Quinn pulled away and dried her eyes on the back of her sleeves, ushering Rachel back in to her seat. Within moments, they were traveling back down the nearly-empty road from which they'd come, ending up back at the Berry residence in less than a half an hour. For a moment, they just sat in a tense silence, the car idling. Neither Rachel nor Quinn seemed to know what to do, but both wanted to do something. Rachel acted first.
She leaned over, placing a gentle peck against Quinn's cheek. It was different than the slow, hesitant kiss the blonde had given her a few weeks before. It was exuberant, with only a hint of shyness. Still, it lasted just a moment too long, enough to raise heat to the singer's cheeks, but she just couldn't make herself pull away. Quinn didn't seem to mind, and she was smiling when Rachel pulled back. She paused for a second, her fingers curled on the cool metal of the car door handle.
"You're not the person you used to be, Quinn. You've changed, and in my opinion, it's for the better." When Quinn didn't look up from the steering wheel at her words, the brunette opted for humor. "I could write up a list of pros and cons for you, if you'd like. I could even color code it." That encouraged a smile out of her, and Rachel smiled brightly back.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Rachel." Quinn's voice was warm and sweet and genuinely happy, the smile painting her features finally reaching her crystalline eyes, forcing out the sorrow that had enveloped them for so long and replacing it with something much brighter. Rachel was certain she'd never seen anything more beautiful in her life.