A/N:
holy. fucking. shit.
that's right guys, i'm back, with my second DGM fic. i figured it was about time i return. this is my first AU fic guys, so i really hope you enjoy it.
oh, and for those of you who were slightly miffed at the lack of allena in the last fic, don't worry, no OC romance in this one, just straight allen and lenalee
but, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy...
Explosions Make the Best Pick-up Lines
Lenalee Lee sighed and slouched in her chair, violet eyes sliding shut as her head tilted toward the sky. She didn't care if this behavior was unbecoming of a princess, she was freaking tired. Besides, she reasoned, she wasn't even inside the castle grounds anymore. She was nowhere near all those nitpicking nobles and servants. She had slipped out without telling anyone, taking only her two most trusted bodyguards along. She opened her eyes and glanced to the next table over, occupied by two men. One, with long, dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, had his arms folded over his chest and was glaring at everything around him like it didn't have the privilege to exist. The other man was slumped back in his seat, his feet on the table and his hands folded behind his head, lost in a mane of red hair. His one visible emerald green eye, for the other was hidden by an eye patch, twinkled mischievously.
Kanda Yu and Lavi Bookman. Lenalee's bodyguards ever since she was a child, and two of her closest friends. Thus far, they had thwarted every single attempt made to assassinate, kidnap, or otherwise harm her. She wasn't afraid about being out amongst the people of her nation; she was in good hands.
That brought her back to why she was out here at her favorite food stand.
Lenalee sighed again and covered her face with her hand. She could not believe this. That bastard advisor Rouvelier was trying to undermine her. Again. He was constantly debunking everything she said, even if the evidence he used to do so was completely false and created just for the sake of his case. This time it had been about the experiments being conducted to create a super soldier.
She had only become aware of this recently, seeing as the good Inspector, as he liked to call himself, had kept it hidden from her quite effectively. When she found out, however, she had immediately moved to have it ended at once. It was inhumane and sick, and she would not have the name of their country, nor hers as a human being, besmirched by such a foul act. But once again, Rouvelier had managed to weave his way into the minds of the council, using blackmail, bribery, and whatever other horrendous methods he could to be sure they would side with him in the debate. He was a fucking snake. And he pissed Lenalee off to no end.
She huffed. If she wasn't the only thing holding her country together, and if she didn't love the place so damn much, she would've been out a long time ago. But she couldn't just abandon the people who were relying on her, she would never be able to live with herself if she did. On top of that, everyone she knew and loved was here. Her brother, Kanda, Lavi, Miranda, Krory. Everyone.
Lenalee slid out of her seat, leaving a few gold coins on the table to pay for her and her servants' meals. Her bodyguards proceeded to get up as well, and fell into step not far behind her. No, she couldn't run. What she needed to do was get proof. Proof enough of Rouvelier's crimes that the council couldn't deny she was right. And if she got the right stuff, say, a list of everyone who had accepted his bribes, then maybe she could purge the upper echelon of her monarchy too. She knew that some of the council were still loyal to her, but she needed to know exactly who. Politics was a dangerous game. If she didn't play this right, she could very well make her whole situation worse.
"If only I knew someone who could actually get me that evidence, I'd be all set. I could actually change some things, maybe get this place up on its feet again." She thought for a moment, but came up with no one practical. "Maybe I could get the Crowned Clown to do it." She chuckled at her own thought. There was no way. The man was a legend, the best thief to have ever existed, even greater than the Phantom Thief G. He would take any job for the right price, provided he decided that it wouldn't break his moral code to do so. He had never even come close to being caught, and no one knew his identity. She heard that he had never once accepted a job from royalty though. So she would need to find someone else if she really wanted to get that evidence. "But who-"
Her musings were cut off when a voice suddenly blared out from a building to her right.
"OH, FU-" It was cut off by a tremendous explosion. One that blasted dust out of the windows and doors at an alarming velocity and launched the roof clean off of the stone building. It flew apart in the air, raining down chunks of wood and bits of stone onto the street in all directions. Something large crashed into the ground in front of Lenalee and rolled to a stop several feet away. The princess figured it was just a large slab of stonework dislodged during the blast, not being able to see very clearly at all due to the dust clogging the street, until it moved.
It sat up, revealing itself to be a young man, though she couldn't make out the details of his face. He stood and brushed himself off, mumbling to himself all the while. "Are they fucking insane? Who the hell shoots a flaming arrow into a cloud of gas like that? Don't care if I was trying to escape, idiots nearly blew us all to hell…" He continued grumbling until he spotted Lenalee. "Oh, erm, hello."
"Hello." Who was he? "Did you cause this?"
He shrugged and opened his mouth to reply but was suddenly cut off by a voice calling through the cloud of debris. "Find 'im! We finally cornered th' bastard, can' let 'im scamper 'way now!"
The young man cursed quietly before swiveling his eyes back to Lenalee. "Would you mind accompanying me for a while?"
"Wha-"
"Excellent!" He clamped his hand around her wrist and set off in the opposite direction of the voice. While they moved he produced a cloak seemingly from nowhere and wrapped it around his shoulders, pulling the hood up. Lenalee wondered where Lavi and Kanda had gotten too, only to realize that they probably had been unable to see a thing within the dust cloud. She was on her own. Even though this man didn't seem to wish her any harm, she still felt uneasy. She hadn't the faintest idea who he was, and it was very possible he had caused the explosion.
They suddenly cleared the billowing smog, and Lenalee took a few deep breaths of fresh air before turning to her mysterious companion. She tried to get a good look at him, but his cloak's hood was well-positioned and hid his face from view. She wondered vaguely if he had meant for it to be like that.
Suddenly one of the city guard was in front of them, glaring at them with hard eyes, his hand resting on his sword. "Halt! Who are you, and where are you off to in such a hurry?"
Without missing a beat and seeming completely comfortable with it, the young man spoke up in a voice distinctly higher in pitch than Lenalee had heard earlier. "W-We're just going to the d…doctor's, sir." How he managed to make his voice so shaky was beyond her, but he sounded like a small, frightened little boy. "My sister here, she was…she was hurt in the explosion." He pulled Lenalee forward, as if to present her as some sort of prize. It was a rather stupid thing to do. Didn't this boy realize who she was? There was no way this guard would not recognize her, and then this young man would be arrested. The man scrutinized her closely before sighing.
"Hurry along now, it's dangerous here." What?! "And be sure to get her arm fixed up, you hear?" Lenalee looked down at her left arm, wondering what the man was talking about. Her eyes widened slightly when they saw the gash below her shoulder, blood flowing lightly but steadily from the wound. She hadn't even felt it. It was then that she noticed she was absolutely coated with dust. It was no wonder the guard, or her unwanted escort for that matter, couldn't recognize her.
"Yes, sir! Of course, sir! Thank you, sir!" He continued along the street, pulling Lenalee with him. Around them people were yelling and screaming and generally running around like decapitated chickens. When they were out of earshot of the guard, the young man breathed a sigh of relief, his voice no longer shaking. "That was close. Thank you, My Lady, for your assistance."
"But I didn't-"
"Hey, you! Boy!" Lenalee was beginning to get angry at her words cut off. They both turned to find the guard they had just talked to jogging toward them. Maybe he had recognized her after all.
Immediately, his helpless boy voice returning, Lenalee's companion spoke up, "Y-Yes, sir? Is something the m-m-matter?"
"Here," the man said upon reaching them, holding out a small, white box. "It's a first aid kit," he explained, as the boy took it and turned it over in his hands, inspecting it. "Use it on your sister. The nearest doctor isn't for another two miles; if you don't treat that wound fast enough, it may become infected."
"Oh, thank you, sir!" He made as if to hug the guard, but the man jumped back.
"Yeah, yeah, just get moving. We're not supposed to be letting anyone leave, so if I get caught…" He let the sentence trail off, though Lenalee knew exactly what would happen. He'd be expelled from the city guard immediately, and might very well face a trial.
The young man bowed before hurrying off, Lenalee in tow, waving cheerily over his shoulder to the guard. This time though, even when well out of hearing and seeing range, the stranger stayed silent, hurrying through alleyways and across streets with a practiced ease that amazed Lenalee. He seemed to know exactly where he was going. It wasn't until they had put a great distance between them and the scene of the explosion that he slowed his pace, releasing her wrist as he did so.
But even as her arm slipped from his grasp, her hand clamped down on his upper arm, steering him into a dark and hidden alley. She shoved him against the wall, one hand tightly gripping his cloak. She yanked his hood off, finally getting a good look at her accidental kidnapper. He stared at her in surprise, blue-grey eyes wide open. White hair surrounded a handsome face, marred by a vivid scar running down the left half, over his eye and out around his mouth. A gauze pad was plastered at the top of the scar, concealing the skin beneath it. A recent injury…?
"Who are you?!"
He raised gloved hands and waved them about, trying to show his lack of hostility. "I'm no one! No one! Look, I'm sorry I grabbed you! Please don't kill me!"
"Then tell me who you are!" she said, angrily brushing a dark strand of her shoulder length hair behind her ear, eyes ablaze.
"Allen! My name's Allen!"
"Allen…?"
"Walker! Allen Walker! Please don't hurt me!"
Her grip on his cloak tightened. "Why were the guards looking for you, Allen Walker?"
"Um...they…they weren't?"
"Uh-huh, and I'm the god damned Princess." Well, technically that was true, but he didn't need to know that.
"You're going to bleed to death at this rate," he stated suddenly, glancing down at her arm.
"What?" Lenalee followed his gaze, suddenly remembering her injury when the crimson came into view. "It's just a scratch." Though it did seem to be bleeding quite a bit for a scratch. "Don't change the subject. Why were the guards after you? And why did you lie like that to that guard?"
"I didn't lie."
"What?" her eyes snapped back to his, and she was surprised by how gentle, how sincere they were all of a sudden, how kind the smile he gave her was. Her death hold on his cloak slackened a bit.
"I said I didn't lie. You were injured in the explosion, and I was taking you to a doctor to get treated." He reached up and brushed a gentle finger over her wound. Lenalee sucked in a breath as her cheeks flushed slightly. Who the hell was this man? He was confusing her so much. "Give me that arm," he suddenly said, and Lenalee realized that her hand was no longer holding his cloak. In fact, he was now at her side, staring intently at the gash on her shoulder. How did he… She looked at her hand, still curled up as if holding something. He managed to slip out of my grasp while I was distracted?
"Well, I can't treat it like this. It needs cleaned. In fact," he gave her a once over, "your whole body does."
"As does yours." Lenalee wasn't sure where her anger had gone. All she knew is that she was now intensely curious about this white-haired boy.
He glanced down at himself before smiling at her. "Of course, but I'm not injured like you are, so it's less imperative for me."
"How could you not be injured? You were right in the middle of that explosion, and you came flying though the smoke! It looked like you came from the second floor."
"I'm perfectly fine," he assured her. "I've got a tough body. Anyway, let's get you back to my place. We'll never make it to a doctor in time." He handed her a square bandage. "Put that over it for now and keep pressure on it, it'll slow the blood flow 'til we can get it properly cleaned and bandaged."
She mutely took it and slapped it over her wound, hissing a bit at the sting.
"C'mon then," he said, grabbing her hand once again, "let's go get you fixed up, Ms…?"
"Ah, Lenalee. I'm Lenalee." He smiled and pulled her hand.
And Lenalee let herself be led out of the alley and into the street, going god only knew where with a strange white-haired boy she had met entirely by chance.
Lenalee stepped out of the small bathroom, toweling her hair off. She was dressed in a pair of pants and a shirt, both too large for her. They were Allen's clothes, and since hers were currently soaking in hot water, she figured they were better than nothing. Besides, they were fairly decent clothes, Allen had good taste. She soon spotted her white-haired host lying on the couch, one arm covering his eyes. His shirt was untucked, his vest unbuttoned, bowtie undone and hanging limply around his neck, and his boots left haphazardly on the floor.
"Allen," she called softly. She wondered whether or not the young man would recognize her without the extra shell of dirt caked on. She was half hoping he didn't.
He sat up upon hearing her voice, turning to give her a small smile. "All cleaned up then?" Nothing about his demeanor changed when he saw her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she breathed a small sigh of relief. Explaining to him that she was the princess would just give her such a headache.
"Yes, I am. Thank you. Now, if you could," she held out her left arm.
"Right." He stood, nabbed the first aid kit off of the table sitting in front of the couch and moved over to her. As he opened the kit and prepared to bandage her, she noticed that he still had on his left-hand glove, but not his right. She though about asking him about it, but decided against it. He had probably just forgotten.
He gently wiped an antibiotic cream over the gash before turning back to the kit, grabbing out a square pad and a roll of gauze. "You've got a nice apartment," she commented offhandedly as he applied the pad.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. It's a real steal, this place. Got lucky to stumble across it."
Lenalee nodded. It wasn't anything fantastic, like the castle she lived in, or even any of the houses she visited every now and then, but even she could tell that it was a very good find. He had his own bathroom for one thing, complete with full shower. On top of that he also he had a kitchen and a nice sized living area, which were separated by a bar of polished wood. He had one master bedroom and one smaller guest room right beside it. He had populated the place with just enough furniture and decorations to make it seem homely. All in all, in was quite a place, right down to the small fireplace. She wondered what he did that he could afford a place like this.
"Done!" He proclaimed, setting the gauze back in the kit and snapping the lid shut. "That should do."
"That was fast."
"Yes, well, I've had a lot of experience at treating small wounds like this."
"Small?" Lenalee glanced at her freshly wrapped arm. "I'd classify this as at least a medium wound."
"Hmm, maybe. It's the depth that really counts. That wasn't too deep."
"Deep enough that you were going to take me to a doctor."
"Alright, alright. You win, medium wounds then. I have a lot of experience treating medium wounds."
"And why's that?"
"Oh, you know," he said, nervously scratching at the back of his head. "Work."
"You a nurse or something?"
"No! No no no. I meant that I get hurt sometimes at work!"
Lenalee gave him a curious look, forehead scrunching up. "What is it, exactly, that you do, Mr. Walker?"
"I'm a…delivery boy."
"You're a delivery boy?" she asked, sounding incredulous.
"That hard to believe?"
"How would you get injured being a delivery boy?"
"Well, I guess a more accurate description would be…a retriever?"
"Huh?"
He shuffled back to the couch and sat down, patting the seat next to him. After a moment of hesitation, Lenalee slid in beside him. "People pay me to get things for them they don't want to get by themselves. Sometimes it involves lots of travel, and sometimes I get hurt getting the items back to the customers."
"So you're a smuggler." Allen sighed and threw his head back against the cushions of the couch.
"No, I am not a smuggler. Smugglers are filthy, and have no honor or-" he stopped, suddenly realizing what he was saying.
Lenalee smiled victoriously. "So you do do something illegal then? You're just more honorable about it than smugglers?" Allen groaned. "C'mon, Allen, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, promise."
He looked at her curiously before sitting up and turning to face her. The sincerity in her eyes made him believe that maybe he could trust her with his secret. "You really want to know who I am, Lenalee? You want to know what it is I do for a living?" She merely nodded. Allen took a deep breath. "I'm a thief, plain and simple."
She brought her hand up to her mouth in a thinking pose. "Makes sense," she finally said after several tense moments of silence. "I mean, it explains why the guards were after you, and why you could lie so smoothly like that. Also explains what you were getting at with the injuries. But are thieves really that honorable?"
"Are you kidding? Of course we are. No," he shook his head when he saw Lenalee's mouth opening to retort, "I'm not talking about the common pickpocket or burglar you find on the streets and in back alleys. No, we real thieves hold to a strict code of honor, and if you break it you aren't likely to last long. We don't like people who break the code."
Lenalee raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You're kidding me. Thieves have a code of honor?"
Allen frowned at her. "It's not that hard to imagine is it? And on top of the general code, each thief has their own personalized set of standards. Like I, for instance, will only take a job if I deem it inside my morals. I won't steal from the poverty-stricken, nor will I steal something that somebody created by with own hands and work. And my friend, G, always sends a notice to the city guard before he steals. And he only hits artifacts in museums and the like, so that nobody is directly impacted money-wise."
"G? Phantom Thief G? You know him?"
"What? Is it surprising that thieves have friends too?"
"No, just the fact that your buddies with such a well known thief caught me off guard." Allen shrugged. An idea occurred to Lenalee. "Say, by chance, do you know the Crowned Clown."
Instantly, Allen stiffened. "Why do you want to know?" she asked, his voice suddenly cautious.
She held up her hands. "No, no. I don't want to turn him in or anything, and it's not like I've got a vendetta against him. I just heard he's the best, and I was wondering if perhaps I could get him to do a job for me. If you knew him, that'd make my life easier."
"You can always just get a hold of him by normal means, like everyone else."
"Yes, but a request from a friend would have a lot more weight to it, wouldn't it?"
Allen was silent a moment. "You're a wily one, you know that?"
"And you're an odd ball. Quite a pair, aren't we?"
"Indeed, the noble thief and the cunning lady."
"Ok, don't go getting all poetic on me now."
Allen chuckled before standing and walking over to the master bedroom. She heard a closet door opening, followed by the sound of clothes shuffling around. "Unfortunately," Allen called out from inside the room, "the Crowned Clown currently has a job underway."
"He does?" She stood and moved to the doorway of the bedroom, leaning on the frame. She watched his back as he pulled down a small box from the shelf and pulling a few things from within it. He turned around, slipping whatever he had retrieved from the box into a bag he had picked up off the floor.
"Mhm. Though I'm sure it'll be done soon enough. I'll let him know whenever it's over that you'd like to speak with him. In the mean time, I can take you wherever you need to. I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you so much."
Lenalee found herself waving away his concern. "Don't be. I live a very…restricted lifestyle, so this whole adventure has been quite fun."
Allen gave a small bow, "I'm happy to be of service, My Lady." She gave him a small smile.
"You're more like a clown than a thief, you know?" He only gave her a lopsided grin before exiting the bedroom and making his way to the door. "So," she started, lagging behind, "what are you gonna do after you've dropped me off?"
"I've got a delivery to make."
"Ah."
There was a few moments of silence before Allen spoke up, "You don't wanna go back do you?" Lenalee looked up in surprise and opened her mouth to deny his statement, but found that he was right. She didn't want to go back. Not yet anyway. She was enjoying being out of the castle, away from prattling advisors, never-ending reports, and selfish, backstabbing politicians. Her step felt surprisingly light without the worry of a whole nation pressing down on her. She closed her and mouth and swallowed, then slowly shook her head. "Hmm…" Allen mused for a second, before his face split into a grin. "You know, if you want me to put in a really good word with the Crowned Clown for you, you could always help me out again."
Lenalee smiled. "I'd be glad to."
"Well then," he stuck out his arm, "shall we be going, Ms. Lenalee?" Laughing, she slipped her arm through his, and together they left Allen's apartment.
Lenalee was happy. After all, she had found a thief. And even if she couldn't recruit the Crowned Clown, Allen himself might just do.
A/N: well there you have it. expect the second chapter soon, unless school fucks me over. i hope you guys enjoyed it, cause i had a lot of fun writing it. i hope lenalee and allen didn't come across as too OOC. also, if you couldn't tell, language is gonna be a little rough, but i'm gonna leave it at T rating, cause, you know teenagers these days cuss up a storm. to be truthful, i was planning to have a different DGM fic up at the beginning of the month, but i discovered soon after starting to write it that it kinda sucked, and that i wouldn;t have the motivation to finish it, and then this idea popped into my head, and i really got into. i've got a bunch planned for it. So, review, review, review guys! whether you're an old fan of mine or a new one, tell me what you thought! ooh, and tell me what you thought of the chapter title too, i tried to be creative.