All Except Her (OT: Tous Sauf Elle)

Original Author: Hinaya-Chan

Adapted from French into English by theGWENismightierthantheSWORD

A/N: I love Hinaya-Chan's piece "Tous Sauf Elle," which I was able to read as a student of French. I thought that the English members of the Fanfiction community also deserved a chance to read it, so, with Hinaya-Chan's permission and the recognition of her as the original author, I have provided an English translation here. It is extremely literal, but I did change words here and there to make it flow as more natural English. I hope you like it, and please review, because Hinaya-Chan is bilingual and would love to hear your thoughts. Happy reading!

I don't care about their lives. They can all die in the most atrocious ways, throats slashed by their own classmates. This would provide me nothing other than a sense of intense satisfaction. They never had any respect or the slightest pity for anyone. Why should they deserve mine?

The youth of Japan has descended into violence. Year after year, they have become more and more unsustainable, more insolent, more aggressive. Not only between one another, but also to adults, parents and teachers like me, for whom they are supposed to show some semblance of respect for authority. It became impossible for me to properly teach my classes. I remained standing tall, always, ready to respond to their slightest defiance and never giving them leeway. I knew all too well the number of weapons they were bringing to class—they believed—"discreetly". I had long ceased to believe that my class could become a utopia. I considered myself lucky to have students in my classroom at all, until they decided to "boycott", as they said. Finally, it came to this…a classroom where each student represents a threat and where teachers spend the time begging their classes to lower their speaking volume, not to mention the daily insults to which they became accustomed and the physical force they endured, which become commonplace. It is strange how I deceived myself into thinking I was lucky, even at the worst. When the inevitability of it all hits you, everything is finished. This is what happened to me. When I am alone, what can I do with a mass of students who are completely out of control? I cannot manage. I am helpless. Then I stopped fighting by telling myself that if I let the students do what they wanted, that if they ran wild, then eventually it would become less exciting to defy their teacher, and they would be cured. I was wrong. Very wrong. Let them do as they please and they will always go further. Free a person from all limits, and in the end they will not listen to those who have the misfortune to try to tell them what to do.

This is why the "Battle Royale" Act was passed. Designed by members of the government who, like other adults, fear our current youth, it is designed to recreate a nation "sound of body and mind". Every year, a ninth-grade class is chosen by impartial lottery in each province of the country and sent to an isolated and unknown location. The objective: let teens be murdered until there is only one. And each year, it causes the loss of thousands of these young people and the mourning of hundreds and hundreds of families. These families must understand and support their children's selection for the Act rather than publicly disapprove, for fear of reprisals. Parents do not understand. This Act has no purpose but to cleanse the nation of its disruptive youth and to discipline those who survive. This legislation is the salvation of our country. Mentalities have evolved since its passage so that families still would prefer to keep their own children alive, even risking their lives in protest, rather than accept another way, a stronger way: teaching them to fear authority. But I, Takeshi Kitano, have suffered too for feeling sorry for their plight, as I once did. I still remember the day when Yoshitoki Kuninobu stabbed me, without reason, in the corridor of the school. The physical pain eventually disappeared. The emotional pain did not. And today, my old class, now Class 3B, was selected to fight, and I have been appointed to oversee the battle. It is an honor that I accept with a pleasure I know to be unhealthy. But all is to me equal now. They can all die. Every one.

All except her….

The face of Noriko Nakagawa blinds me while I list each day's dead. She is not among them. She is not yet, but I cannot delay. Since the beginning of the game, she has been with Shûya Nanahara, the best friend of that fool Kuninobu, who I also had the pleasure to see die before my eyes, neck exploded by the electronic collar which they all wear. Microphones placed in these collars have let me glean that Nanahara intends to protect Nakagawa. This is a stupid idea. Even assuming that he can and that they both survive to the end, what will happen then? Will he kill her to remain the sole survivor? Will they commit suicide in their collars before the imposed deadline? There are only these two solutions. Nakagawa is incapable of killing anyone. She is too beautiful, too pure, too innocent for this. Not even the slightest drop of blood will stain her hands as white as snow. She would die rather than kill, I know it. She has no place in this game. She is the only one, the only one who knows the meaning of kindness, honesty, conscientiousness and respect. She is the only one capable of human feelings amidst all this madness. She is the only one that has managed to catch my attention and the only one I would ever sympathize with if she had to kill.

Noriko Nakagawa is an angel. She is an angel who is too fragile, fallen from the sky to be thrown right into hell. How can she ever understand this world?

I can still see her face, constantly graced with a soft smile, despite all that she suffered at the school. She was too naïve, too nice, too honest—too herself. I heard that she suffered at the hands of her "friends," who once locked her in a bathroom stall and then left, until someone finally found her… I had already heard these same girls once call her a "dirty toad." Girls are not less violent than boys. They are certainly more reluctant to take on an adult, but between one another, they have no pity. And Nakagawa was the cost. Because she chose to be someone goodhearted. I remember the day when she ran into the classroom, apologizing for her delay. The room was empty. There was only me, sitting on my own desk, contemplating distantly the message written on the board, that all students had decided to boycott.

All except her…

And she remained there, a disbelieving expression on her face, clearly hesitating about what to do. She did not say a word that day, but her eyes screamed excuses about her delay for a class that no longer existed. And when our eyes met, I felt closer to her than to anyone else in the world. She understood what I felt and, at this time, we were both on the same side. And no one, ever, had been on my side. My marriage is a fiasco, my own daughter hates me, my job had become a failure… for years, I had forgotten the meaning of the word "happiness". Now, Noriko Nakagawa is the sole light for me. She only gives me an occasional smile when I think about her, but she still manages to make me feel affection. This father-daughter bond that I secretly choose to give her is because she alone is really worthy. She is the daughter that I truly have. She is the child that they should all be.

And today, I am asked to watch her die. This strange sensation that I feel in my core... I think it is fear. It is fear and a deep sense of injustice. Do they not that see that she is the embodiment of innocence? Do they not see that she is the only one that deserves to live? She is fragile and defenseless, and even as a survivor her life would be forever marred by this game, that for the first time, I find immoral. Outside, it's raining. It may even snow…. What is Nanahara thinking about right now?

As for my thoughts, I have long since abandoned the list of the day's dead—not very many since last roll call—to get back to my work. Because since I arrived on this island, I began drawing, despite the perplexed gazes of the men accompanying me. I even had to use my authority on several occasions because of their prying. They want to know what I'm doing. But they will not see. This drawing will be for Noriko. Tomorrow, she will arrive here, the sole survivor, and I will offer her the drawing that represents her. Radiant, she stands in the middle of her classmates, all of them dead. And it will please her. She will understand. I know that she will understand. Perhaps she will even hang it up? That would please me…

Out of a sudden anxiety, my eyes fix on the blinking dot that represents her on the large screen of the computer. Noriko Nakagawa. She is my daughter, my goddess, my light. The only one who does not deserve to be extinguished…

They can all die. All of them.

All except her.