Disclaimer---Gah, these things are SO boring. -sigh- I don't own any of this, if u wanna sue, I have a nice collection of TY beanie babies...that's about all u'll have. But if u take them, I'll cry, I swear it! ;.;
The Only One
The way those eyes burn me, right to my soul. I've said it once before and I shall say it again, you wound me with those gloriously abnormal eyes. That sheer hatred that sends your blood boiling each and every time we meet. But do you truly hate me that much? I am not stupid my dearest Tsuzuki, I know your disdain for my methods of obtaining what I desire blind your eyes to me. Still, I find it rather amusing that you seem to forget I heal as well. It simply is not my fault that these people put themselves so readily into my hands to do with as I please. I also blame you Asato. The incessantly annoying stubborn quality you possess makes me crave you, go to any lengths to have you. If it gets you to come to me, so be it. Even now, as I place my hand, gently as I can, on your cheek, you turn away. Must I constantly break that admirable spirit of yours.
Though I must say, you are beautiful when you are broken. Tears have never looked like such invaluable gems but when they glisten in your amethyst eyes and slide down your pale cheeks. So vulnerable and so willing to give in when you are tormented.
And yet, there exists one problem. One person. The one reason you will never give yourself over to me completely. The child that keeps you grounded to the punishing existence you hold yourself to. The one that knows more about you than perhaps you know of yourself. Not of your past certainly, but of the you that exists now.
My fingers trail to your petal soft lips. I've always been rather fond of cherry blossoms, and you rlips seem to be crafted from them.
"Hisoka-"
Yes, there we have it. The name burns like acid on your lips and I regret having to pull my hand away. Certainly the boy is pure beauty given a human form, I cannot blame you for wishing to possess that. At one time, I longed to have it and, unlike you, I took it without hesitation. In retrospect however, I find myself regretting that action. Not for the sheer loathing of me by you two, but for your concept of honor. You turn yourself from me because of that. Many a time I have found myself wondering; if I had never killed the rabbit would you have been mine long ago? For you see, each time I come close to possessing you the brat pulls you back and, once again, you elude me. Quite a selfish little annoyance he is. Of course, the pursuit of you is alluring. Each near miss makes my desire grow. But Asato you must agree with me on this; desire begins to hurt after a time. And I do not bode well with that kind of pain.
How long as it been since you two have become lovers? You act surprised that I know. Please Tsuzuki, I told you I was not stupid. It is perhaps easier to tell in the boy though, he is rather possessive of you, you know. He should trust you more. If only he knew right? But he remains as clueless of your past as you wish yourself to be. So afraid you are of ever hurting him, that he will never know the true you. Does that not hurt you Tsuzuki?
Your skeptical look makes me chuckle. Honestly Asato, you are too amusing. Despite every wall you erect and mask you wear, you cannot hide from me. You cannot deny me. I know the real you. Have some faith in me, I've never lied to you. Chosen my words carefully and twisted them to fit this intricate web we've wound ourselves in. But I've never lied. No Tsuzuki, I will do nothing with you this night. Not with the child on your mind. When I have you, you will think only of me. I will lay you on a bed of rose petals and you will be mine and no one else's.
For now, you will go home and hold your brat. He will insult you, demean you with his calous mouth and sharp tongue. He will seer you with those eyes made of emerald fire. Then, he will love the you he sees before him with his heart and you will remember why you have not given in to me. In the early morning, he will thrash and scream in the throes of nightmares. Not all of those are my work, I'd like to add. But you will hold him all the same, reassuring him that you are there, not me,and he does not have to suffer anymore. He will again insult you because there is nothing wrong with him. And you will believe him, at least for the time. You will forget about yourself, your fears and your nightmares, and exist only for him. After all, that's the promise you made.
But Tsuzuki, I am the only one who puts you above all else. I survive things that would destroya normal mortal man so that I will one day have you. The boy craves to be more than you, craves revenge, and will not even allow you to stand in his way. He will not allow you to protect him in the way you wish to. Being around him will not chase your fears and nightmares away. You wake in the morning and are in the same place you have been your entire afterlife.
It is fear that chases you away from me and what you can become. Once you embrace it, you'll find a life so much greater than the dark corners you hide yourself in. You fear hurting people, and yet, it is what you were created for. Dear Tsuzuki, you make far too many promises you cannot keep. When all those promises you made fall apart, I will be there. To collect your broken pieces and help you become what you were meant to be. And then, I will be all you see. I am a very patient man, and I will wait.
Fornow, tangle yourself in the boy's arms, focus only on him and forget all about your past, your demons, and me. But we won't disappear, we will not be denied so easily. Asato, you will wake tomorrow and remember and you will try to hide your misery from the world. As a result, the world will cheer your mask and insult your stupidity. They will never bother to look below the surface -never want nor accept the beautiful suffering that is Tsuzuki Asato.
Hear my words my fallen angel. Hold Hisoka while he screams, believe the false words he gives you, and know that in the end, I will be the onewith you when the world abandons and betrays you. I will be the only one worthy of you.
Please baby can't you see Go on and hold her till the scream is gone Please baby can't you see Go on and hold her till the scream is gone
My mind's a burnin' hell
I got razors a rippin' and tearin' and strippin'
My heart apart as well
Tonight you told me
That you ache for something new
That some other woman is lookin' like something
That might be good for you
Go on believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong
But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
And I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
It's only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one
I'm trying to explain
I've been here before and I'm locking the door
And I'm not going back again
Her eyes and arms and skin won't make it go away
You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow
That holds you down today
Go on believe her when she tells you nothing's wrong
But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
And I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
It's only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one
Melissa Ethridge - I'm The Only One
A/N: I listened to that song just the other night and could not help but think of these two. Don't get me wrong, I'm an AVID lover of the Tsuzuki/Hisoka pairing. Muraki's kinda the character I love to hate... x.x This just kind of tickled the back of my mind so I decided to write it. It gave me a break from the two fics I'm in the process of writing. My brain's going in to overdrive.
Of course, it doesn't help that I'm sicker than a dog right now. Blegh, I'm going to lie down now. I hope this portrayed Muraki pretty well. I know that he wants Tsuzuki's body for his brother and all...but I cannot help but think that our dear doctor wants Tsu in so many other ways too... What am I saying? I have no idea.
Tell me how much you hate this, I didn't have the chance to have my beta readers look over it cause I just want to post it and then take some medicine and lay down. I ache all over x.x I think if I felt better it may have been written better, but, this is what I came up with and I'm losing my computer soon so I wanted to get it out ASAP.
Enough rambling...
TTFN