The Phone Call

A/N: Awesome title I know (Sarcasm) lol I finished this and couldn't think of a good title because my brain is clouded my anger and depression haha

Hope you enjoy…

Santana feels her phone vibrating in her pocket and sets down her glass of wine, to retrieve it. She sees Brittany's name flash on the screen, and glances up at Rachel, Quinn and Kurt who are all scattered around the living room with her.

Without a word, she gets up and climbs outside on the fire escape, sliding her finger across the lock screen. "Hello?" She answers, closing the window behind her. She sees Quinn, Rachel and Kurt looking at her confused, but she turns her back to them, ignoring them.

"Hey," Brittany says simply, her voice low and quiet.

"Hey." Santana replies just as simply. She places her free hand on the railing and looks down at the street below her. It's busy with cabs and cars, honking, trying to get out of the gridlock traffic. There are also hundreds of people crowding the sidewalk, walking fast, trying to get somewhere as if it's life altering.

The line is silent for a few minutes, and Santana gets a little frustrated, because Brittany is the one that called her. She shouldn't be expected to talk first.

"Are you in New York?" Brittany asks quietly.

Santana inhales deeply, and nods her head, even though she's aware that Brittany can't see her. "Yeah," She says simply. She doesn't know how Brittany knows she's here because she didn't tell her. But she's not really surprised she does know. There are plenty of people who could have told her.

"Why didn't you tell me that you quit school?" Brittany asks, sounding hurt. "And that you're moving to New York?" She adds in the same tone.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're dating Sam." Santana returns, her voice full of hurt as well. She tries to sound as harsh as possible, and it worked, because she did. But she also sounded sad, and almost broken, which she definitely wasn't going for. She doesn't want Brittany knowing she's upset by the news. Well not sad upset.

There is a sigh on the other end, and then nothing. It just makes Santana even angrier.

"Is that why you moved?" Brittany asks accusingly.

Santana rolls her eye and scoffs. "Yeah Britt, I needed to get away from you." She says sarcastically. Obviously, it had nothing to do with Brittany. It's not like she had to see the two of them in Louisville. Running away to New York wouldn't fix solve anything between her and Brittany.

"So why did you move?" She asks curiously.

Santana sighs, and stares down at the people below her. They all look important, and like they have somewhere important to be. Nobody looks lost, even though this city is huge, and she feels like some of them are probably lost. They have to be. How can everyone seem so sure of themselves and no exactly where they are going? She knows she felt lost wondering the streets earlier, having no idea where anything was. It was overwhelming with all of the people, pushing past her.

Sure they came to New York for Nationals, but it was different then. All they did was stay in the Hotel and visit Time Square. They didn't explore the real New York with the real New Yorkers. It's rare you catch many real New Yorkers at Times Square. It's all tourists there.

Here in this neighborhood is the real New York and the real New Yorkers. "I realized that I was just wasting my time at Louisville." She admits. "I was too afraid to come to New York without a job or without being in school. I had a free ride there and I just took it because it was simple. But I wasn't happy." She says with a shrug, even though once again, she knows Brittany won't see it. "And plus, I don't have a need to be closer to Lima anymore." She adds quietly. She won't admit that Brittany dating Sam, had actually had a lot to do with her decision. Maybe not directly, but hearing the news had just snapped something inside of her. It was a wake up call, and she realized she had no idea what she was doing and what she wanted out of life. She'd lost her soul mate, and she was living in a hick down, cheer leading. It definitely wasn't the life, she'd planned for herself.

She'd planned for her and Brittany to graduate together, and go to New York together. She'd go to school and major in Music and Brittany would major in Dance, just like they'd always talked about. She had it all planned to a T, but then Brittany didn't graduate. It changed everything. New York was suddenly the scariest place ever without Brittany going with her. She didn't think she could do it on her own, so she went to Kentucky. It was easy and safe, and only a few hours away from Brittany. From her home.

However, when she heard the news of Brittany and Sam, she realized that she really was on her own. She couldn't be a coward anymore. She was on her own, and she had to take chances, and make her dreams come true. She didn't have Brittany next to her anymore, and she had to learn to live her life without Brittany, without her crutches. Nothing was going to be handed to her, she had to be brave and go get it. So she did.

Again, the line is quiet and Santana almost hangs up on her, but she of course doesn't. She can't.

"Santana, I miss you." Brittany says after a few minutes.

It only fuels Santana's anger, and she clenches her fist at her sides. She wants to yell at Brittany. She wants to stomp her feet and scream for all of New York to hear her. Throw a huge tantrum right here on the balcony just like she used to do when she was a kid. But she of course doesn't, because she isn't a kid anymore. They aren't kids, they're adults, and life sucks. She's learning that now.

"Brittany, I need to go." Santana says, her voice only a mere whisper. She's trying to hold her tears in, and keep her voice steady, but she's finding it harder and harder to do.

"Do you miss me?" Brittany asks, and Santana can hear the pout in her voice.

How dare she ask that? Of course she misses her. She misses her so much it hurts to fucking breathe. Breaking up with Brittany was the worst decision of her life. She knew that before she did it, while she was doing it and especially after she did it. But she felt it was the right thing to do. Brittany was unhappy, and that made Santana unhappy. She wanted to be the best girlfriend and she tried, she tried as hard as she could, but it was impossible. They were too far away and both too busy to be able to talk as much as she'd like. Brittany was unhappy, and she had to let her go, no matter how much it hurt her. Now she has to deal with the consequences.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Sam." Brittany says, before Santana answers her previous question. "I wanted to, and I thought about how to do it a lot, but I never could work up the nerve to tell you." She explains. "I just didn't want to hurt you." She adds quietly.

Santana scoffs, and brings her hand up to her cheek to wipe away the stray tear that had escaped her eye. "Yeah, well it hurt even worse to have to hear it from Kurt." She says angrily. "Do you know how embarrassing that was? He was asking me how I was, and if I was okay because of you and Sam," She starts, only to stop when a lump forms in her throat. "He had no idea that I didn't know." She continues. "And what's even worse is that everyone knew, but me. Rachel, Kurt and Quinn, they all knew and I didn't."

Santana hears Brittany sniffle, and she hates herself for feeling bad. She shouldn't feel bad. Hell, Brittany shouldn't even be crying right now. She doesn't have a right to be crying.

"I'm so sorry San," Is all Brittany can say.

"Stop apologizing." She says harshly. "I don't need your pity alright?" She continues, just as harsh. She stops to take a breath, and calm herself down, before she speaks again. "I broke up with you, and like I said before, it's fine if you date someone else." She says as evenly as possible as more tears fall from her eyes. "Just…" She says, only to stop, not knowing if she wants to ask her next question. It may be too hard to hear the answer. "Are you happy? Does he make you happy?" She finally asks, her voice cracking.

There is a long pause on the line, and Santana wonders if Brittany has to think about the question, or if she's trying to spare her feelings. "Yeah," She finally says, and Santana feels her heart break into even smaller pieces.

"But not happier than you made me." She adds, and a sob escapes Santana's lips. "He was here for me when you left and I was really sad. He has been the only person that's made me feel even just a little bit happy since you've been gone." She explains, and Santana doesn't know whether or not to be happy or even more upset. "But I'm still not as happy as I was with you Santana." She says once again. "I love you, and I always will." She adds after a small pause.

Santana sits down on the step and leans her head against the railing. Tears fall freely from her eyes now, and she doesn't even bother wiping them away. "Brittany, I'll always love you too." She finally says through a sob. "I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone else as much as I love you." she admits brokenly.

"We're soul mates San." Brittany says quietly but Santana can hear the smile in her voice.

"So why are you with Sam?" Santana asks, confused. If Brittany is so sure they're soul mates then why is she dating someone else."Be with me." Santana adds desperately.

"You broke up with me." Brittany says simply.

Santana inhales through her mouth, not even being able to breath through her nose anymore, form all of the crying. "I know." She says just as simply. "It was the stupidest thing that I've ever done." She admits honestly. She'd been wanting to tell Brittany she regretted that decision ever since she did it, but she hadn't let herself. She'd convinced herself it was for the best and that Brittany was happier without her. Brittany needs someone who can be with her physically and treat her how she should really be treated. And Santana just couldn't do that miles away from her. "I just wanted you to be happy." Santana tells her, not even bothering to hide the fact that she'd been crying.

"I was happy." Brittany insists. "I was sad that I couldn't see you and talk to you as much as I wanted but just knowing that you were mine and that I was yours, made me happy." She says sincerely. "Yeah, I missed our sweet lady kisses and definitely the scissoring, but I was still happy. I was more upset when you broke up with me." She admits quietly.

Santana bites down on her quivering lip, and closes her eyes again. She can feel the rust of the railing on her temple and she knows she probably shouldn't have her head against it. Who knows what's on it, but her head just feels to heavy to hold up on her own. "I don't know what else to say Britt." She finally says after a long silence. "I did a stupid thing and now you're with Sam, and I'm in New York." She says, stating the obvious. She wants to tell Brittany to break up with Sam for her, but she doesn't. She's been down that road once before and she'd been rejected. She didn't want to feel that again. And also, what would that mean? They'd do the long distance thing again and be unhappy? Nothing has changed. The reasons for their break up are still there, even worse now that she is further away. She's not just a few hours away from Brittany anymore. And she doesn't think Brittany will want to go back to that. Why would she choose that over a boyfriend who can be there with her all the time?

"I don't either." Brittany says defeated. "Do you want me to break up with Sam?" Brittany asks, after a very long pause. A pause so long that Santana had to check and make sure they were still connected.

"Do you want to break up with Sam?" Santana counters. She can't ask Brittany to break up with someone for her again. Not only does she not want to deal with the rejection, but she wants Brittany to make the choice. She wants Brittany to choose her because she wants to be with her. Not because she'd asked her.

There is a sigh on Brittany's end and Santana's heart clenches. "I want to be with you." Brittany admits.

"Break up with Sam, Brittany." Santana tells her.

There is once again a long pause and it unnerves Santana. She starts regretting telling Brittany to break up with Sam, thinking that Brittany doesn't really want to do that. She gets afraid that Brittany is going to reject her again and tell her that she can't break up with him and that she can't hurt him.

Why did she have to say that? Why did she have to tell her to break up with him? She should have just told her to do whatever she wants to do. Now, here she is about to get her heart broken even more and chosen second to Brittany for the second time.

"Okay." Brittany finally says, her voice even.

It makes Santana's heart skip a beat. "Okay?" She asks a bit unsure, worried that Brittany is only doing it because she told her to. She needs Brittany to do it because she wants to and not because Santana told her to.

"Okay." Brittany confirms, her voice confident and Santana can hear her smiling.

It's not one of those small smiles that she'd been hearing in her voice a few times throughout the conversation. It's that bright smile that she loves so much. She's happy. She's doing this because she wants to.

"Okay." Santana repeats, a smile growing on her own face.

A/N: Yeah, so this episode made me angry. Idk, this idea popped into my head so I just kinda started writing and this is what came out of it. Hopefully you guys enjoyed! Also, I'm finishing up How I Met your Mommy right now and it'll be up later tonight! (:

Let me know what you thought of this please! Also how awful was tonight's episode? Am I the only one pissed about the Brittana fandom bashing?

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