The Ballad of Sentinel Cryme
a spoken word album by Leonard Nimoy
AWWWWW...
Activate the pillars, I'm Sentinel Cryme!
Perhaps I'll spare your puny human race some other time,
But I'll never answer to you, for I am a Prime!
Getting out of the Ark cost me a nickel and dime,
Now prepare yourselves for the lost master of rhyme!
Optimus, you fool,
You're just mankind's tool.
When will you ever learn to make the hard decisions?
Maybe after I butcher you all over this planet's television!
And to set the record straight and clear up any qualms,
I didn't betray myself, I betrayed your mom!
Even on a world I do not understand,
I can still tell I'm better than any of your awful bands!
I don't need no Matrix of Leadership decorating my trim,
Check out these chrome-plated Rosenbauer rims!
Sword, shield, 40 ouncer, the whores.
Am I forgetting anything?
Oh right, I still need to enslave humanity to do all my chores.
Hey, who changed the camera angle to Call of Duty vision?
It's not going to stop my blade from giving you a mighty incision!
I'm coming your way, so you better run,
Unlike the Fallen, I don't even need your sun!
I'd laugh if you all turned out like Ironhide,
I don't care what it takes to turn the tide!
We were gods once, all of us, and we will be again,
Just as soon as I turn your people into a labor bargain bin!
What's that, you say? You think I'm just a little insane?
All the more reason your culture deserves to go down the drain!
I was the leader of Cybertron before it became a barren rock,
And now I'm more gangsta than your own Tupac!
Sure, I'll overlook your condescending tone,
But you still better change it, or you're gonna get boned!
Even after reciting that Spock quote is done,
None of it matters when I am The One!