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It's so damn cold outside….

Ganondorf was standing by the window, gazing out across the snowy Hyrule Field. It had never snowed in the Gerudo Desert, but ever since the humans broke threw the Hyrule Mountains and turned their entire kingdom into a theme park, he had been stuck in Hyrule Field. Those damn humans had turned his home into a giant beach, and used their dynamite to draw Hyrule Lake next to the desert.

He could here the large door to the cold outside open and close. He wasn't a popular exhibit, Link, Zelda and even those damn Zorans were more popular than him, so it surprised him to hear the door open. It was most likely Link, coming to gloat again. He turned around, expecting to find a haughty Link, only to find a tall willowy woman peering around the room. He was freezing, even in all his thickest cloaks, yet she was only clad in short shorts, and a T-shirt that proclaimed, 'I Glomped Ganondorf' in green letters. A scarf was wrapped around her neck, and her long red hair was hidden under a sock hat, yet a few strands escaped. A pair of long pointed ears poked out from underneath the hat.

She was tall and slim, and he wondered how she could carry such a large, heavy looking backpack on her back. She had deep greenish grey eyes, framed by long dark lashes he could see even from across the room.

He let out a breath of air he didn't know he had been holding, sending a wide cloud looking gasp of air dissipating into the air. He looked at her closer, something was off about her. It wasn't her dark red lips that seemed so inviting, or her strange outfitting that was off. She just seemed…familiar, somehow.

"What do ya want?" He said gruffly. At his voice, she glanced up from a miniature model of his pig form that she had been examining. When her eyes fell on him, her entire face lit up with recognition, and she smiled widely.

"I've been looking for you!" She said in a happy sounding voice.

He looked at her and laughed in his deep baritone voice. "As you can see, I'm really busy. Maybe you should visit Link or someone else."

She frowned, discontented. "I can see your sense of humor hasn't improved much. Besides, Link is booked up for the next month, Zelda has an interview with Vogue Magazine she can't miss, Malon's heading up to the city tomorrow to be in a shoot for Playboy, and Epona… well, Epona's a horse." She huffed. "You're the only one left. That and you were my first choice. Now come on, I'd like to get to the Temple before its packed full of people."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Yes you are. Now hurry up."

"Go to hell, girl. No way am I going anywhere with you, not now, not ever."

Her voice dropped an octave, and she growled at him, "Your coming with me, whether I have to tie you down and drag you there myself!"

He smirked. Her voice, when it had deepened, it seemed almost sexy. He decided to make her mad again. He said aloud, "I'm stronger, bigger, and tougher. Not to mention I'm a warlock. Even if you could convince me, why should I even go?"

"Because you want Gerudo Desert back." She paused. "I can see it in you r eyes. You want your home back, you want to save your people from having to be exotic dancers and concubines. For once, you desire to be the hero." She gave him a Cheshire cat grin, and continued. "And I want to be able to come back home, without being ashamed of what I've caused."

"Uh huh…. Apparently, you can read me like an open book" He rolled his eyes. "…. Although I have no desire to be the 'hero' as you save, nor will I ever want to be. I am the villain, and I shall remain the villain." He walked closer to her, intending to shove her out the door.

"I'm a Gerudo, you know." She said, moving closer to him. She leaned close enough to his ears that he could smell her cinnamon breath. She whispered in an alluring fashion. "You want it, don't you? You want to hold in your heart the feeling of basking in the glorious sunshine that only the hero's deserve. You want to claim it, the hero in you wants it." She nimbly moved around to his other side, and whispered into his other ear in the same fashion. "You deserve it…. To play the hero once in a while. To fight the good fight, to win the glorious battle, to get the girl. All of that is possible if you come with me.

"You can get your kingdom, people, and claim back your desert. And," She grinned, knowing she had him hooked, "you can get the girl. And you know who I'm talking about. That adorable little farm girl, the one who makes goggle eyes at you, the one who can't love you because you're the villain. Come with me, and you'll soon see, that you deserve much more than what you have."