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Shifting through another overfilled file, Maggie feels the day dragging on. The clock on her sticky note-covered monitor assaults her with the time. Two minutes past noon, five minutes since her last check.
The heavy sigh she lets out as she slouches in her chair, head tipped back in defeat, is loud enough to earn a chuckle from the desk over.
"Shut up, Nick."
"Where's your girlfriend? Shouldn't she be here for lunch already?" He asks, rolling his chair away from his own files
"Not today, she's working through it." Maggie sighs, not looking forward to the day ahead of her
"So emotional." A teasing grin.
"Shut up." Maggie laughs, throwing a crumpled note at him. "Which one of us cried when Rose let go?"
Nick's eyes instantly turn innocent, his teasing look slinking behind the emotion. "He just- he sank, Maggie! He freaking sank."
"I know, man." Maggie replies sending him a smile
"I still don't see how you didn't cry. What are you a robot?"
"Ah, ah, ah," Maggie interrupts, pen waving in time with her words, "Borderline sociopathic, Nick."
"I never liked that one."
"We're all allowed our mistakes." A beat. A stare. "I'm sorry, do you not remember your few months with Ann?"
Nick shivers as the memories flash through his mind, "Agree to forget either of those ever happened?"
"Deal." Maggie laughs, reaching over her desk to shake on it
"I wa-" Maggie's cut off by the ringing of her phone.
Nick lets out a whistle as he spies the name Danvers on the screen. Maggie shakes her head at his antics. Unfortunately, it wasn't her favorite Danvers sister calling. "Little Danvers" flashes on the screen instead.
"Sawyer." Maggie answers the phone, rolling her eyes at Nick's miming antics
"Hey, Maggie!" Kara's voice meets Maggie's ear, fast and nervous. "Can you come to lunch with me?"
"Yeah, of course. I was just heading out. Where should I meet you?"
Maggie understands silence. She's good at it. She can stare down a suspect until they crack without a word. She's survived twelve hour stake outs alone before.
But this.
This was awful.
Maggie watches as across the table Kara shifts in her seat, eyes wide, hands shaking with nerves.
Letting a kind and comforting smile slip on to her face, she reaches her had across the table to cover Kara's shaking hand.
"What's going on, Kara?" Maggie watches Kara's eyes as they dance along the wall behind her, a slight shine of tears taking up residence in their depths.
"I- "
The buzzing of her phone draws both of their eyes to the screen. Noticing Alex's contact photo, Kara is quick to motion for her to answer. After a quick look analyzing the woman, Maggie relents and tries to tamp down her smile at Alex's voice.
"Danvers, how's it going?"
"Just got finished actually. I was wondering if you wanted to get some lunch?"
"Yeah, I'm actually with-" At Kara's vigorously shaking head, she pauses
"With who?"
"Ah sorry babe, I'm with Nick. Lot of paperwork. If I want to make it out by dinner I have to stay in."
Before Maggie can cover the phone's mic, the waitress breezed in asking for their orders with a bright smile. Kara's eyes fly open in panic as they wait to see if Alex had heard.
"If you're sure?"
The voice gives nothing away. Warmth gone, but devoid of all else.
"Yeah, sorry, Alex. Dinner tonight, though?"
"Yeah, see you later."
Maggie frowns at the phone hating the lie as it passed her lips. Setting her phone down with a slight smile to Kara, she relays her order to the waitress before they are left alone again
"Now what did you want to tell me?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing with my babies?"
Alex's eyebrow quirks as she forces herself not to hesitate in her purposeful jamming of keys.
"You don't see me playing with those laser gun thingies!"
"Uh, yeah, we did." A quick nod. "The armory has cameras, nerd."
"And mics?" His face becomes red
"And mics" Alex lies with a deadpan nod.
A sigh presses through the air as he flops into his chair, attempting to scoot between Alex's body and the keys as her fingers assault his precious keyboard. "What're you doing anyway?"
A blush. A tense glare to the screen. A mumble.
"Huh?"
"Locating Maggie's phone."
"What, why? Is she okay? Oh my g-"
Alex stops his panic with a raised hand, only slightly shaking in her upset.
"She- well she lied to me about where she was. I just want to make sure…" Her voice trails off as her thoughts veer into darker directions, hurt shining through
"Alex, you can't! It's not right!" A pause. "She'll kill me!"
"I know! Okay, I know. I just, I won't show up or anything, I just need to know."
Winn's raised eyebrow has her freezing, emotionless mask taking its place.
"What happened?" Silence. "Look, if you want me to help I need to know what happened."
Alex releases a breath attempting to steady her emotions.
"I called her earlier to see if she wanted to get lunch. We usually get lunch together, you know? I was supposed to be working, but finished early and she, well she lied." Hands twist together, after catching themselves from their flutter through the air. "She said she was with her partner, Nick, that they had to work through lunch to get out on time."
"That's not un-"
Alex's look cuts him off, the concern in her eyes hitting him hard (nearly as hard as her fist has in the past).
"Right before we hung up I heard a waitress ask for their orders. Meaning she was at lunch with someone. Someone she wants to keep a secret."
"Oh, okay, that is kinda fishy."
Alex nods blinking a bit too fast. "I went by the office just to check it out, Nick was there but I couldn't see her anywhere. So, somethings going on and I need to know what."
Taking another glance at her hurt filled eyes, he gets to work.
Alex holds her breath as she wraps an arm protectively around her stomach.
It'll be okay. There's an explanation. There has to be.
The map zeros in on a hotel's café a few blocks from the precinct.
"Should I get the video feeds?" Winn asks after a tension filled moment
"No, no. I- uh-" Alex sniffs, "I don't think I can see it."
Winn nods, eyes glaring at the red dot blaring from the screen.
"Um, maybe you should call Kara?"
"I have been, it keeps going to voice mail." Another near silent sniffle
Winn panics.
He's not proud of it.
But his sister's crying and he's maybe-sorta-freaking out big time.
"While we're on a roll with disregarding our friends' privacy, we could always-" He finishes the sentence by gesturing to the blinking map.
Alex's eyes growing more warry as it glares at her.
Taunting.
"I need to punch something."
"Or! Or, we find Kara. You get your sister time on, she'll help you figure it out. Maggie was probably just…craving a sandwich?"
Alex's stern look has him wheeling around, typing in Kara's number and beginning the search before harm could come his way.
"Wait."
"Winn, I really don't need to re-see where my girlfriend is right now. I thought you were looking for Kara." She sighs, hand pulling through her hair
Bringing back up the data screen he double checks the number entered. It's Kara's.
"Wait! Maybe they're planning a surprise for your birthday or something!"
Unwilling to let the hope gain any momentum, Alex replies, "My birthday is in three months and they know better than to have people jump out and scare me."
Curiosity getting the better of him. Winn hovers his mouse over the video channel. Alex leans against his chair almost as if for comfort, seeing her nod her loads up the feed.
Scanning a bit, he finds the blonde and brunette.
The screen is a bit grainy but Alex is quick to zero in on their clasped hands.
"Um. Mayb-"
Alex is gone before he can finish the word.
She knew this would happen.
She knew it was too be good to be true.
Someone picking her first? Someone loving her first? A bitter laugh escapes her lungs.
Someone as amazing as Maggie wanting her? Why was she so blind?
The glass of bourbon in front of her blurs as tears cloud her eyes. She lets them fall, unable to care anymore. Unable to feel as they trek soft lines down from her reddened eyes.
Down.
Down.
Down.
Rock bottom never felt so empty.
The apartment's dark. She never bothered to turn any light beyond the kitchen's as she pushed herself into the room an hour ago. She never bothered to move from the seat. Couldn't be bothered to lift the drink to her lips. Could be bothered to do anything but think. The morning replaying in her mind.
She was right there. Pouring coffee as usual, god, she looked amazing in Alex's Stanford shirt. The sun had lit her eyes as Alex had pulled her in for a good morning kiss.
She was right there, not even twelve hours ago. Right there every morning for the past month. Right there with a kiss and smile every dinner. Right there with a hug, and cuddles every night. Right there with her light snoring, right there stealing the blankets, right there.
God, how could she be so stupid? Who would pick her over Supergirl?
Tears continue to drip down her cheeks unhindered. Maggie taught her to embrace her feelings, this is her embracing.
The lock on the door clicks as light from the hallway pools into the room, Maggie turning on the light as it closes. Alex is quick to wipe her eyes, as she's left blinking to adjust to the newly lit room.
Maggie finishes hanging her jacket, making her way to the couch before she's stopped in her tracks by the sight that greets her in the kitchen. Alex's tension radiates off her in waves, the drink noticeably clenched in her tight grip.
"Alex," Maggie whispers, approaching slowly, aching to help the woman. "What's going on, baby?"
Alex can't make herself move, can't keep herself from leaning into the support of the other woman. Can't help herself from savoring the last of what she can't have.
Maggie reaches to release her hand from the glass, encasing it in her own. Her heart breaking at the shake they emanate.
She goes to speak only to be silenced as the grasp has Alex plummeting out of her trance. Images of the café assaulting her mind. She pulls away, nearly toppling the chair as she forces herself to put the island between them. Maggie's presence was hard enough, but having her so close but not- not hers, not anymore?
That was unbearable.
Her tears won't stop, the flood gates already open.
Her eyes stay on the couch, willing her jaw to stop trembling. Willing her mind to give her piece.
Just yesterday she'd sat there in Maggie's arms, it had felt so right. God, why can't she go back to that, why-
Her loud swallow diverts her thoughts. Eyes glancing to Maggie's face, out of her own control.
"Babe, what's wrong?" The voice is soft, eyes full of concern of lov-
Of what Alex thought was love. Maybe she was wrong all along.
"Ale-"
"Look," A breath, "I just want you to be honest with me."
Maggie's eyes never stray from her distraught girlfriend as she agrees with a gentle nod.
"I know you weren't at work. I know you were with," More tears. A throat clear. "I know you were with Kara."
"Okay? Believe me, we're going to loop back to you tracking me, but why are you crying, hun? Did something happen?"
A watery huff. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
Confusion pulls at Maggie's mind, eyes focused on the slightly trembling woman in front of her.
"What's hurting you, Alex?"
"You lied to me."
"I know," Maggie pulls in a shuddering breath, hurt rising at the pain in Alex's eyes, "I didn't want to, it wasn't my choice."
"Then whose choice was it?" The words are soft, tired and broken
Silence.
"Look, I'm used to be second best," Alex breaths out shakily, "I am. I just-"
She pauses as her vision clouds again, tears pouring from her hurt-filled eyes.
"I just was never prepared to be second best to you."
Before Maggie can lunge, before she can pull Alex into a tight hug, before she can tell her just how much she loves her just how wrong she is, a breeze seems to harden Alex's gaze.
"Hey guys! I was- Oh my god! Alex! Are you okay?" Kara's greeting quickly turns from happy to concerned at the scene in front of her
Alex stands clutching the island counter, eyes raw and red, heart thumping. Maggie's eyes are full of concern as they reluctantly leave Alex's gaze to share a confused glance with the blonde.
"I really can't deal with you right now." Alex spits out, crumpling into the counter head in her hands
"She knows about lunch."
Some shuffling can be heard, but Alex's head is too busy pounding with the speed of her heart to look up.
She can't see this.
"So. You-" Kara takes a breath, "I mean, I'm assuming you know."
Alex lets out a bitter laugh as she forces herself to rise from her position, rise from her hurt, face this with all her strength.
She's not sure she's even strong enough for this.
When her gaze meets the duo, she can't help but burry more tears, allowing the anger to bubble instead.
"I do." Alex's eyes harden, not leaving her sister
Kara shivers glancing at Maggie with wide eyes.
"I didn't tell her." The soft whisper hits Alex hard, so it is true.
"Why are you acting this way?" Maggie asks, protectively placing herself in front of the trembling blonde
"Why am I-" Alex shouts, "She's my sister, Maggie!"
"We just, I didn't think you'd be this upset." Kara musters up the whisper, gladly taking Maggie's cover
"You didn't think I'd-" The wet laugh escapes loud and painful, "I love her," Sharp gesture to the brunette, "why wouldn't I be upset?!"
Instantly, Maggie and Kara take a step back, confusion hanging heavily between them.
"Don't look so shocked you both know that."
The statement seems to take the last of Alex's energy leaving her crumbling back into the safety of her hands.
Silence overcomes the room until-
What the hell.
Was that a laugh?!
Alex takes a breath and steadies her piercing glare.
"What the hell's so funny?" She grumbles, voice catching as she stares helplessly at the nervous chuckles emanating from her sister and girlf- ex-girlfriend.
Fuck.
More tears fall.
"Babe, we're not-" Maggie starts, taking steps to close the distance between her and Alex, only to stall as Alex steps away.
"Not that Maggie's not insanely attractive, and smart like-"
"Kara! Not helping!" Maggie cuts the nervous rambling off, motioning to the breaking woman
"Maggie and I, we're not doing anything. We would never do anything."
Alex takes the bait and glances into her sister's earnest eyes. The same eyes that greeted her on her sixteenth birthday with a burnt –barely edible- cake held with pride.
Some anger dissipates.
"What?"
Maggie moves closer. Relieved at the lack of retreating.
Placing her hand to wipe away the wetness from Alex's cheek, Maggie is sure to meet her eyes.
"There's only one Danvers woman, scratch that, there's only one woman for me, Alex. That's you." She speaks softly, the truth bandaging the cracks in Alex's heart. "You are never second best, and you will never be second best to me."
Alex nods averting her watery gaze for a moment, trying to will the tears not to fall. Quickly she pulls Maggie into a fierce kiss, reveling in the fact that it won't be their last. Reveling in her worth. Reveling in her love.
They pull apart as Kara's nervous shuffling pollutes the air. Before looking away, Alex brings her hand up to brush off the tears from Maggie's own face. How did she miss their falling?
"Now, " Maggie forces out over the tears in her throat, "if I'm reading this right, I think Kara has something to tell you." She finishes the sentence with a questioning glance to the fidgeting woman on the couch.
Kara's nod has Maggie linking their hands before leading Alex to the couch (a soft kiss to Maggie's hand pausing their progress).
They settle beside each other, cuddled as closely as possible (screw niceties). And if Alex makes sure she's between Kara and Maggie, if she makes sure her arm is wrapped around the woman's shoulders, if she sends a little warning glare to Kara…well that's just to be expected.
Kara stands, pacing in front of the fireplace.
"Are you okay?" Alex asks, nerves already on edge only building at the pacing
"I am."
Glance to Maggie.
"She is."
"I just, um." Kara pauses, hands twisting among themselves, "I'm bisexual. There I said it." A breath. A smile. "Maggie! I said it!"
Maggie, not able (and not wanting) to pull too far away from Alex's hold, she pulls the woman down for a tight side hug. "Yeah, you did!"
"Wait, so, that's what this whole thing was?" Alex's cheeks color in embarrassment
Kara nods.
Alex's mind tries to calm itself, until a nudge from Maggie draws her back to the present. Away from the what ifs, away from the loss, away from the pain.
Shoot, Kara's waiting for a response.
"I love you, Kara. Everything about you, I'm so proud of you for figuring this out about yourself." Her voice never wavers as her eyes meet Kara's wide ones
The smile that spreads across her sister's face is bright and free.
"Maggie's been helping me figure everything out." Kara beams before quickly backtracking, "Well not like she helped you figure everything out," Two attempted winks. "She was just-"
Alex flexes the hand still rested securely around Maggie's shoulders, pausing her sister mid-ramble. "I know, Kara. She's amazing like that."