Hello, this is a first for me, in many ways. I really appreciate xXxMiserableLoveFairyxXx, for taking her time to betaread this.
Disclaimer- Tite Kubo owns Bleach. and The Cranberries own 'Linger'.
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
Rukia wished that things could be back to how they were at the beginning.
"Hey babe, its movie night, are you going to bring some takeout?" Rukia's voice was excited, her partner was as well, since it was their weekly movie night that the couple shared, snuggling close together and sharing in each other's warmth was the routine.
"Sorry honey, I've got a late night at the hospital again." The voice was disappointed to not be able to be together with Rukia. But Rukia was getting angry; it was the third week in a row that her partner had missed their movie night.
It was sort of a ritual in their relationship, since that's how they had met. Rukia had broken up with her boyfriend on the day she was supposed to take him to meet her parents. She had no one to turn to; she was comforted by her best friend. They didn't talk; they simply just watched a Disney movie and surprisingly that had made Rukia smile. They shared a kiss that night and started to go out soon after that.
Maybe it was because Rukia was on rebound that she quickly jumped into this relationship, but she knew that she was in love. But now she felt the love dissipating from their relationship, she didn't want it to go. It takes two to make a relationship work; she couldn't just do all of the work in their relationship. Rukia thought that maybe going back to how they first acted on their feelings would bring back their old feelings of love.
'I'll put on a Disney movie again. Also, I bought the popcorn and chocolate earlier, I know it will bring back memories or maybe some feelings that have disappeared. We did this so many times, so it has to work.' She prayed, she wanted it to work, but in the end she couldn't. You can't recreate your first moments together.
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
"How can you? You know that this is our usual night, why can't you request a night off in advance." Rukia was trying to keep her anger under control, but she couldn't let this slide, if she did, it would be just as if admitting that their relationship was weakening.
"Rukia, I think the health of the patients is more important than our movie night. So please try not to act like a brat." With that said, the only other thing Rukia heard was the dial tone, leaving her stunned.
'What, how could you? I'm not being unreasonable; I just want you to pay attention to me, to us. Is it so wrong to want to be comforted and be assured that everything will be all right? You never used to be like this, what happened?' Rukia couldn't hold the tears that were slowly making their way down her face; she let them fall while pondering over these questions.
'No, I won't let you give up on us, I won't let you ruin us and I'll make you realize that by being the perfect girlfriend that I can.' She watched Romeo and Juliet alone, only making her sadder and she went to sleep with tear soaked eyes.
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
Another week passed and it was just the same as the previous week before, another cancelled date on Friday night. Rukia decided to not wallow in self pity and went to the convenience store to get some food and some fresh air. She could see from the register outside the store and her eyes widened slightly when she saw the familiar head with the familiar hair color pass by. She wasn't surprised to see the hands of another girl in those same hands that caressed her body at night.
In the past when their dates were suddenly cancelled she wondered if there was another in their relationship.
"Are you seeing someone, huh? Tell me! Am I the foolish one in our relationship? I don't hang out with my friends, so I could make time for you. And I know you don't trust some of my guy friends so I stopped contacting them. For you, it was all for you." She was in hysterics after the long argument about how they weren't spending enough time together.
"No Rukia, I'm not cheating on you. You're just being insecure. You know I'd never do that, I love you. I would never hurt you and I promise to do better, but just try to understand sometimes." Ah...that soothing light voice, the voice that made her veins vibrate. Then she suddenly calmed down, trying to suppress the sniffles she possessed and while being embraced tightly.
"I know that you had mentioned that you like girls with bigger chests, is that the reason you don't make love to me sometimes?" Rukia looked up innocently, still wanting to rid of her unwanted thoughts.
"Yes Rukia, but that was in the past, I like petite women now." With that, Rukia felt her lips being crushed by the plump pinks ones, hard.
Looking at them, Rukia felt like a fool.
'Is this really how it is? I am being lied to? Was it all just a game?' Rukia wasn't shocked, because she knew somewhere in her mind she was the only one faithful in the relationship. But that didn't lessen the impact of actually seeing it with her own eyes, she ran out of the store with tears in her eyes.
But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
'Is this love or am I just a masochist, because I'm hurting myself being with you. I don't even care if I'm being cheated on as long as we're together. I'd do anything for you, even let your lies be perceived as the truth, and let you do as you please. So why, even when you know all this, you won't do this for me? Why can't you free me, since you know that I don't have the courage to do so?'
Rukia didn't sleep that night; she stayed awake all night for the person who never came home. She could guess where exactly they were, but she still pretended that the door would open and they'd cuddle while she'd be soothed of her insecurities again.
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
Rukia reminisced about their earlier days. She thought she had the world at her feet when they started going out. Her lover possessed gentleness, and gave her so much attention that Rukia felt undeserving of and the first sighting of flowers every morning when she woke up. She didn't need anything as long as they were together, it didn't even matter if there was work at the hospital, and there was always time for "precious Rukia." They went to restaurants, movies every weekend, shopping together and to amusement parks which Rukia loved and that used to be enough of a reason to go there. Nothing could go wrong; Rukia thought that she had found her happy ending.
But I was wrong
I was wrong
But how wrong she was, the heartaches kept increasing, she couldn't reason with herself anymore. Her reasoning depended on another now.
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
'I wish you loved me a little in return. Please be faithful to me, tell me how to make you love me?' Rukia knew it was hopeless though. She couldn't force someone to change their feelings.
'I'll keep trying; fate can't be this cruel as to keep denying me happiness.' Each day Rukia woke up with newfound optimism, by the end of the day she was exhausted from carrying the burden of two's relationship
"Honey, are you going to be home for dinner tonight? I made your favorite." Rukia knew what the answer would be; she'd been getting the same answer for a while now. But she hoped that her lover will miss her, even if it was a little bit, and come home tonight. When they would see each other again the next day, there would be the usual apology and promises made only to be broken later on. Rukia would believe every word coming from that sinuously beautiful mouth, hoping that it would be true this time.
She just sat herself up for disappointment. 'If only you wouldn't lie, things wouldn't be so confusing for me. I don't know if you want me or not, if you didn't then you would've ended this relationship. But then you wouldn't have cheated on me.' As of now she felt used. Knowing that if her lover asked her anything, Rukia would do it, anything her lover wanted, and Rukia will give it. She put so much into it, her time and energy. Rukia didn't mind staying home all day, waiting for her lover, or doing household chores. As long as she knew that her lover would be home and they could be in each other's embrace.
'You pretend that you don't know how much I love you, you always accuse me of smothering you, saying I'm trying to control you. When I all I want is for you to return that affection back.' Tears were forming unknowingly again, but it was a routine now, she didn't even bother to wipe them away.
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you
It didn't help when your lover knew your weaknesses and when you're vulnerable. Your lover would exploit them to get what they want under the pretense of soothing you, and taking care of you. Her weakness was only her partner, who knew Rukia wouldn't be able to survive alone, her lover knew that Rukia would come back running.
'But you always really knew how much I wanted to be with you, you just want me to keep proving it to you so I'll stay with you and keep getting used by you.'
And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to? Do you have to?
Do you have to let it linger
'Somehow that still doesn't deter me, I keep hoping that you'll love me back. As long as you still need me, I'll be with you.' Rukia heard the front door open and gasped in surprise to see her lover standing at the door with flowers.
And I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
"Rukia, I'm sorry. I know that I haven't been putting in my best or treating you right for the past month. Please let me make it up to you." Tears marring that beautiful face, combined with the scent of the roses only made Rukia's heart melt faster.
"Orihime, please don't cry. I won't bother you at work again. As long as you love me I don't care."
Orihime did love Rukia, but not as much as Rukia loved her. She felt suffocated sometimes, so she had taken to going out with other girls. But at the end of the day she still closed her eyes with Rukia's face and her name on her lips, while another girl lay in Orihime's arms.
Orihime was holding Rukia in her arms hugging her tightly, reassuring her, that she still loved her. Though it is true, Orihime doesn't want to open up to anyone, she's afraid of being hurt.
'I still remember that cruel rejection from high school by Tatsuki, I bared my heart to her, but in the end she just laughed it off.' Orihime never trusted anyone fully with her heart, but now she wasn't going to do the same to Rukia. Rukia, sweet Rukia, who never complained about Orihime lying to her or to spend time with her, and instead always gave her heart. Can she really open up her heart to her?
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger
'Can I start being a fool for you Rukia?'
A/N- Originally I wanted to keep the identity of the lover ambiguous, let the readers speculate. But whenever I heard this song, I could only picture it with Rukia and Orihime. This is a first for me, because it's my first song and yuri fic.