"Paulele"
Shakespeare's Lemonade
Rating: T
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
Summary: Steve's thoughts upon being rescued and taken home. He knows who he can trust, and now it matters so much more. Tag to 2x10.
Paulele: faith, confidence, trust, to believe implicitly, to lean against, rely on
When he sees Danny's head, he thinks he's hallucinating. Then he hears the shouts, and Joe is there. This is real. They've come to save him. It's too much to think about at the time, but after being betrayed by someone he trusted, Steve is relieved to see them all.
They're almost carrying him, Chin and Danny. They seem happy, which is odd to him, because North Korea is not exactly a happy place for him at the moment, or any moment, really.
Gutches and Jacks are there too. He's not sure why. This can't be a sanctioned mission. He's only been gone a day. He wonders if that many people really care so much about him.
They get to the helicopter, and Lori comes rushing out. She hugs him, which is weird, but he's not going to say anything mostly because talking hurts, and if it makes her feel better, he doesn't care. Still, he's not going to trust her as easily as all that. It sounds ungrateful in his head, but he'd liked Jenna better, and she betrayed him.
Then Joe is lifting him into the helicopter and settling him on the floor between his knees. Joe doesn't let go of his shoulders as he sits there.
Danny is sitting off to his left and he turns to say something to him, though he's not sure what. Danny shakes his head.
"You can thank me when we get back to Oahu," he says.
Steve's pretty sure he's smiling, and he looks over at Chin.
"You can thank me by being my best man," Chin says.
Steve can feel the mood in the helicopter brighten even more as Chin declares that he's getting married.
"Don't do it," Danny says, and Steve can understand. Still, he notes the humor.
Danny tells a joke about buying a woman you hate a house. Steve wants to laugh as everyone joins in the punchline, but it would hurt too much. He hopes Danny knows he's laughing in the inside. The conversation continues, but Steve's not really listening anymore. He's drifting off, feeling Joe's hands on his shoulders and wondering where Kono is. He hopes she's all right.
When he opens his eyes again, they've landed on the safe side of the border, and someone is patching him up. Everything hurts, but he's not complaining.
"He's waking up." Steve hears Kono's voice.
"See if he'll take this." Joe's voice.
"Of course he won't," Danny says.
There is a titter of laughter throughout the room. Steve tries to say something, but his throat isn't cooperating.
"Hey, calm down there, Boss." Chin's voice. "You're okay."
"Here," Kono says. "This'll take the edge off."
Steve takes whatever she gives him in spite of Danny's prediction that he won't. He wants to be able to move, to talk. It takes a few minutes before he feels the haze of everything fade away. The pain is still there, and he probably won't be doing more than sitting up. He's hungry.
As if on cue, Gutches and Jacks come into the room with plates of food for everyone. Steve can feel Danny's excitement.
"You think you could eat?" Joe asks.
"Yeah." Steve finally finds his voice. He tries to sit up, and Chin and Kono help him. Chin adjusts the pillow behind his back.
Danny brings Steve some food. "Don't eat too fast," he says. "With all those bruises, you'll get too full."
Steve knows this, but he appreciates Danny's concern. Yeah, I'm concerned, you jerk. Steve shakes his head.
"I'm sorry I got you all into this," he says.
"Shut up," Danny replies. "You didn't do anything wrong."
That's not a normal thing for Danny to say, so Steve takes it seriously. He knows it's true. Any of the others would have wanted to help Jenna too. They had no reason to doubt her.
Steve eats mechanically now, thinking about how they all got here. He knows they'll be in trouble with the governor. He knows none of them cared about that when they came after him. He wouldn't have either.
Steve thinks about trust, and who he feels has earned it in his life. Not as many people as one might expect and a few that would be surprising. He trusts the people in this room Lori, who is conspicuously absent has not yet earned that, and it will take longer now. Maybe he'll never trust her. It doesn't matter. He has his team, his family. She's like a second cousin he doesn't hate, but doesn't exactly love either.
It doesn't matter. She was there. It's a start.
Danny takes the empty plate from Steve, and Joe tells him he should rest before the flight home. They've still got a long road ahead. Steve is not past worrying about what will happen to his friends because they elected to help him.
When he wakes up again, he's in a hospital. And he's alone. Steve takes inventory of his injuries. He thinks it's mostly bruises and burns. Nothing that won't go away in a week or so. He sits up slowly and looks around. He's at Queens. He's home.
Soon enough, Danny shows up. He's cleaned up and looking his usual self, sans tie. Still no tie.
"How you feeling?" he asks.
"Better," Steve says, nodding. "Can I leave soon?"
"Yeah. In a while. The governor wants to come lecture you about something before he lets you loose on the unsuspecting public again."
"So we're not in trouble? I mean, going to prison sort of trouble."
"Ha. No. Lori flew back as soon as we got back to Frank's place and smoothed things over. That's her job right?"
"No, her job is to keep us from doing crazy stuff like that in the first place."
"Well that's not gonna happen."
"No." Danny shakes his head. "No, it's not."
The governor soon arrives, and Steve listens patiently to what he has to say. He tells him that he wouldn't have done anything else given the choice. Denning seems to have expected that. When he leaves, Danny brings Steve some clean clothes and helps him check out.
Danny drives. Steve really doesn't care. Because Danny is one of the few people he feels like he can actually trust, and that's suddenly far more important than it used to be.
"You wanna talk about it?" Danny asks.
"No," Steve says. He's sure that's not going to be sufficient, but he tries anyway.
"We... we found Jenna."
Steve nods. "I know. She tried to help me escape. She knew she was gonna die."
"Why'd she do it?"
"She thought her fiance was still alive. She would have done anything to save him."
"Even... trading you?"
Steve stares out the window. "Yeah... I think I said I didn't want to talk about this."
"But that's just code for, 'I know I need to'."
"Not really."
"Sure. You okay?"
"Hmm?"
"You. Okay?"
Steve shrugs. "I'll be fine."
"Will be... When do you suppose?"
"What is this?"
"You've just been through a traumatic experience—"
"Oh, come on."
"I'm serious. Yeah, you've had a lot of other similar experiences, but I doubt you've ever been lured to your certain demise by someone you trusted."
"Certain demise? I'm still here."
"Sort of."
"What does that mean?"
"You're gonna sit there and say this hasn't effected you at all?"
"No."
Danny looks across the car in surprise. "No?"
"No. But I don't want to talk about it. Not now."
"When?"
"When I've slept in my own bed and eaten my own food."
Danny nods. "Okay. I'll make spaghetti if you want."
"Yeah... That'd be good."
Steve knows there's a good reason he's letting Danny stay with him. They get back to Steve's house and go inside. Chin and Kono are already there, but it's just the four of them. Steve wonders why it's just the two of them.
"Everyone wanted to make sure you're okay," Chin says as they sit down. "But we thought it would be better if it were just us."
Steve nods. "It is."
Kono is helping Danny with dinner, so Steve and Chin have a lot of time to talk about things. Inevitably, the conversation turns to Chin's wedding.
"I never answered you," Steve says. "I will be in your wedding if you want me to."
Chin smiles. "I think the term best man is used a little freely these days, but of all the people I know, you are mine. You're one of a group of people I can count on one hand that really trust me."
Steve shakes his head. "It shouldn't be that way, but I'm glad I could be that for you. After everything that's happened, I'm starting to pay a lot more attention to who I really trust and who I trust conditionally."
Chin nods slowly. "I'm glad to be on the first list, then. You really had no reason to trust me at first."
"Yeah, I did. My dad was a lot of things, but he never misplaced his trust. Ever."
"I hope I deserve it."
Steve leans back against the couch and closes his eyes. He's glad to be here with just his team. Not the official team, but the one he chose. The one made up of people he can really trust, people he loves. He hears Danny and Kono laughing in the kitchen, and his heart aches a little for a time when this was all so simple. His life has never really been simple though. It was just that Danny, Chin, and Kono made him feel like it was.
They're all quiet over dinner, but Kono sits next to Steve, and he feels that she needs to know he's okay. He doesn't know why, but the fact that she wasn't on the helicopter bothers him, and he thinks it bothers her too. Someone had to do what she did, but that doesn't make it any easier.
So, as Chin picks up the dishes, Steve leans over and hugs Kono. "Thanks," he whispers.
She smiles and nods, and that's all that needs to be said. Danny is watching them from his chair, and he smiles too. Then Chin comes back into the room, and the four of them share a look. They know that no matter what happens, they can always trust each other, and that's enough for all of them.