Disclaimer for entire story: I do not own Naruto, but the new plot is my own.

New Strength

kkstev

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She had everything. It was all a blur – her life before and leading up to this moment. There had to have been work, strain, and effort that she believed were probably worth every second to get here.

But she could not remember any of those little details right now.

All that mattered was this. This moment where everything settled, calming her once-frantic mind, and she realized that she made it. She achieved every single thing she had ever strived for. How many people could really say that? From her perch, she overlooked everything that was her own, that she had made, and stood triumphantly, taking in the scene with pride.

… But then what was that darkness in the distance?

It was agitated and erratically progressing slowly toward her current position, a physical mass that she could not explain. All of the things she had been observing with accomplishment were literally swallowed before her very eyes. And once this unknown force consumed them, she forgot what had been there before it was gone.

The girl who thought she had everything suddenly panicked, latching onto her temples with both hands and crouching in on herself, trying with everything she had to just remember. She alternated agitatedly between clenching her eyes shut tightly and staring blankly at the darkness creeping closer.

By the time she finally dragged herself from her own fear, to stand tall and confront this demon head on, everything she once had was lost. Her emerald eyes were gleaming, partially from anger and partially from an early coating of unshed tears, as her mid-back length pink hair whipped around her form furiously. She took a deep breath – hoping with everything she had that it would not be her last – as the darkness approached her. But just before it made contact, the world around her went blurry, and Haruno Sakura felt herself falling backwards through the air as she lost consciousness.

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She woke, throwing her arms out as though trying to brace herself from a fall. Realizing she was steady, Sakura threw her torso forward to sit with such violence while gasping desperately that her room spun angrily in retaliation. Holding her head with one hand, closing her eyes, Sakura tried to calm herself. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt as though it shook her entire chest, and she felt tiny heartbeats at the ends of each of her limbs. Each tortured breath was so inconsistent and shallow she feared she may hyperventilate. Besides the fact that she felt as though she was prepared to vomit.

'Seriously, what the fuck was that?'

After nearly twenty minutes of just frantically repeating this thought, sometimes whispering it to herself out loud, Sakura felt calm. Well, calmer at least. Throwing herself back onto her pillows, she sighed and closed her eyes, trying to force sleep to return to her.

But she was finding it impossible to stop thinking about that dream – or at least what she hoped was only a completely random manifestation of thoughts or fears. Not being one to dream, or remember dreams, very often, Sakura had a tendency to believe what she did recall when awake was significant in some way. A memory she had forgotten or repressed, a prediction of the future, a warning, something. The events she was focused on now, along with the feeling of finally finding home, certainly never happened in her past, meaning the remaining options…

She shivered at the implications, suddenly feeling that the calmness of the night had become more menacing. Rapidly discomfited, she quietly folded back her blankets and proceeded to the kitchen for a glass of water, ignoring her dog's irritated grunt at her for waking him.

Maybe this had something to do with her stressful day.

Immediately before bed, Sakura had been thinking about everything that had happened, and everything she wanted. She had stared at the ceiling of her room for hours, tucked under her covers in an attempt to sleep. Starting by longing to get out of the village of Sengaku. Though highly aware of herself for a girl her age, she had no way of getting out of the suffocating village. She could envision where she longed to be. At fourteen, she was conscious of the fact that there was nothing entirely special about her, which was both sad and comforting. Besides her hair color of course – bubblegum pink, but this one physical attribute doesn't count. It was that there was nothing about her as a person – which is important – that was unique. The concept of each individual being special and important was developed for fairy tales. Some were great, and most were not. She, for one, was not; average intelligence, average looks, average social skills, average family, average life, average, average, average…

'This had to be why my thoughts manifested in such a messed up way.' Because she hated this.

She didn't know why she hated her life so much. Everyone around her seemed utterly satisfied with their expensive clothes, meaningless chatter, and frankly shudder-inducing forms of entertainment. This normality was fine for them, yet she was just so dissatisfied – even if she had any of those things, she couldn't imagine them ever being her.

But what's still eating at her; what had happened today? Was it even real? She supposed so. She 'officially' had no friends, all because she could not keep her mouth shut. Was it her fault that that Kouhi was a rude, mean, manipulative, and generally bad person? That Kouhi lost all of her friends, for these exact reasons, and so decided to take over Sakura's? Sakura figured that she could have just let it happen and followed along with all of her other 'friends.' Then proceed to join them in trailing Kouhi like a pack of lost puppies.

Kouhi was more popular than them after all.

Well, at least that's one thing she can take some pride in about herself. She has a spine. Nice, but gets her nowhere for the moment. This village is all about how close you can snuggle up to peoples asses.

"Ugh" Sakura ground out, hanging her head as she stared down at the sink. Time to scratch off the 'average' next to social skills and scribble in 'poor.' Though she still didn't fully understand that either. She really did go out of her way to do the right thing by everyone, to be nice to everyone, to be good. Regardless of what type of person they were themselves. But apparently it was not enough.

Trying to lighten her own mood, she actually giggled to herself, running a hand though messy hair. 'Guess we're going all "Woe is me! My life, my life!" I sound like a poorly scripted soap opera. Just standing here brooding, pitying myself. Geez I just need real life to start already.'

Her thoughts progressively began to make her feel much better – to lessen the actual blow she was feeling for the here and now. But this easeing began to ebb away once her mother shuffled into the room in her nightclothes. Sakura looked over her shoulder from her place by the counter, and tried to smile for her mother's comfort. It definitely did not come out right, but Ayaka didn't say anything. After a few moments of silence, Sakura's forced smile wavered. Once she failed to mask the slight extra buildup of water in her eyes, she turned her head away again.

"That good, huh?" Her mother sighed. "What did you do sweetie?" She asked in a calming voice while moving to sit at the table. Sakura could not help the single tear that fell. She liked that she stood up for herself, and even that she can see the bit of morbid humor in her situation. She can be as proud of her reaction as she would like, but in the end, being alone, in this moment, just hurts.

Subtly wiping away the tear, she sat down beside her mother, whispering, "Why do you assume it was me?" With still no response, she continued somewhat hesitantly, "I don't like Kouhi, I never did, and I never hid it from anyone. I just never snuck around behind her back like everyone else does! It's not like I was even mean, I was just being reasonable! I don't want her to ruin my friends... They'll no doubt end up exactly like her." Sakura was deliberate and careful with each word, trying to keep her voice from betraying how hurt she really was.

"Either way, I did not expect a note taped to the door of my home telling me that I am simply 'out' of my only group of friends…" Sakura paused, looked down, and her voice came out more quietly, "In my supposed 'best friend's' handwriting no less. Heh," she ended breathily. Shaking her head incredulously while furrowing her eyebrows in thought, she continued, "I mean, really, who does that?"

In a voice still quiet and gentle, her mother asked, "But couldn't you just try to play nice? I know you don't like others very much, but Kouhi seems perfectly nice to me –"

Sakura cut her off, trying to ignore what her mother 'knew' and focus on the real problem, "Of course she would, okaa-san. To you. She knows how to get her way. For me and most people my age, she acts however she pleases, and her money makes her friends. And her looks, I guess, if you're a really dumb boy. But I mean, that's not gonna to work if, to all the people she can get something from, she acts like a complete bitch." And as soon as that last word escaped her lips, in her overly emotional and bigmouthed state, she realized her mistake. The sharp sting at her mouth reminded her that her mother would not let her only daughter's cussing slide, regardless of the situation. It was improper for a lady, apparently.

Sakura took a deep breath, shuddering somewhat on the exhale, as a few more tears slipped out through tightly sealed eyes. It wasn't the pain that did it, but the embarrassment of being reprimanded over something silly – the absolutely horrible timing didn't help much either.

"You should know better! No wonder you get yourself into these situations! You're lucky this time it was me, who cannot leave you even if I wanted to." Her mother scolded, ending in a little huff.

Leveling her voice, Sakura droned out, "I understand, okaa-san, thank you for talking to me. I think I'm just gonna go back to sleep now." Sakura almost laughed out loud at how normal her voice sounded, so calm and obedient. But in reality she kept her eyes lowered, hoping her highly subtle dismissal would get her some time alone. What she originally intended.

That way, she could continually to peacefully pull out the knife her mother just pushed in deeper.

"Alright then, I will see you in the morning. Goodnight Sakura. It'll get better, don't worry."

Sakura just waited with her lips pressed in a thin line as her mother lightly kissed the top of her head and exited. She waited a few moments, making sure there would be no new unwanted appearances, before she clenched her fists harshly and ground her teeth together. Gripping her head tightly in both hands familiarly, she wanted to cry, to scream, to beat something until it shattered. But she didn't want the hassle of having someone else come by.

Though she knew that of course most fourteen year olds were oblivious to how life worked, but she was still a person. Her family should have some idea about her. She had coherent, rational thoughts of her own. Never did anything wrong, did what she had to do, knew what she wanted to do with her life, and knew (kind of) how to get it. She acted more like an adult than the actual adults in her life more often than not. It was just a matter of time before her age fit her attitude. But even now, she did not need to be scolded like a child.

Making her way back to her own room with stiff steps and foggy vision, she took a deep breath, trying to calm her harsh breathing. A familiar mantra started again in her mind.

'It's just another day.

Just another day.

Just another day.

Just ano – Kami-sama there has to be something more than this.'

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You may not know:

okaa-san : mother