Entry 1

Mother got me this journal because she thinks it will help me. She thinks I'm making it all up. No one believes me. She's there though… I know she is. I see her all the time. Why can't anyone else see her? It's not fair. She tells me things and then when I tell someone about it to try and be helpful, it's true but they still think I'm making her up. Anyway, I need to work on my handwriting. It's very messy. I think it's because the other kids make it hard to concentrate at school. They say she's just my imaginary friend, and they pick on me… sometimes they hurt me. Oh well, it's time for bed now. I'll write more tomorrow.

Entry 2

I'm not going to write the days in because I lose track easily, and it would make writing hard. I'll still keep the days together though. So one day would be under the same entry number, but separated by lots of space. Oh, I saw her again today at school. She told me that mother was going to lose her recipe book, that she put it in the desk drawer while she wasn't thinking. She walked home with me today too. She's very nice, I wish everyone could talk to her. Before we got home, she said I couldn't tell mother where her book was, but when I turned to ask her why she was gone. I wonder why she left so suddenly. She does that a lot. Anyway, when I came inside, mother was looking for her book! I thought that if I told her where it was I would get to help pick what was for dinner, so I told her that she put it in the desk drawer while she wasn't paying attention. She looked at me funny and then went to open it- and there was her book. She asked me how I knew and when I told her, she sent me to my room. She says I hid it there. Oh, mother's calling me downstairs… I better go.

I'm in trouble. Mother told father about what happened, and he's really upset. I don't see why, I didn't even hide the book! Even if I had, it's only a book. I tried telling him that the nice lady told me where it would be, and he sent me back up to my room. I don't think I'll get to eat anything tonight.

Entry 3

When I woke up today, the lady was already in my room. I usually don't get to see her until I start walking to school. Oh well, I need someone to talk to. Mother won't talk to me and father's out doing his job. He doesn't usually leave so early, but I think he's mad at me. I think mother is too. I asked the lady about it, but she wouldn't answer me. I asked her if they hated me, and she said no. I think she's lying. School was bad too. The other kids were mean to me again. They do it every day. They say I'm crazy, and that everything bad that happens to them is my fault because I try and warn them about it. I'm just trying to help them… One time, I told this one girl that she was going to forget her homework, so she should make extra sure she knows where it is. She laughed at me, but the next day, she forgot her homework. Right before she was punished, she told the teacher it was my fault. That I had stolen it from her. I tried to say it wasn't true, but no one listens to me. My punishment was extra bad… Only because it was me. He wasn't even going to really punish the other girl, just tell her to do it again tonight and turn it in tomorrow. The lady told me so. She's with me a lot more now. She hardly ever leaves. I'm glad. She's the only one who listens to me. Oh, father is calling me down for dinner.

No one said anything during dinner. Except the lady. She was there. I asked mother to set another place for her, but she just looked at me. I decided not to say anything else, because I would probably get in trouble. I was going to apologize to the lady, but she said she could read my thoughts, so I wouldn't have to say anything out loud. At least now I can talk to her without everyone hearing. I used to whisper to her, but people still heard. Anyway, I have to go to sleep.

Entry 4

She's been with me the whole day, and sometimes I hear whispers from others. She says not to listen to them, but I want to know what they're saying… She also says that when I warn people, I only make the event worse. I think I found a way around it though. If I warn them, but they don't know I'm warning them at the time, that should work. I tried it today. She told me that my mother was going to be the victim of a Kerran pickpocket in town today, so before I left for school I told her that if she isn't careful the rabbits will eat all the carrots. She looked really sad when I told her, so maybe she knows what it means. Or she will realize what it means when she sees a pickpocket. She should be home soon, so I guess I'll find out then…. There, just now… there was a whisper. I heard it. Everything went quiet, and it said, "You're in for it now!" The lady says she didn't hear it, and I shouldn't pay attention to it. Mother's home now, and she's calling me down. I think father's there too. Oh no… I'm going to be in a lot of trouble. I've been seeing the lady all my life…

The whisper was right. Mother was crying, and father was really angry. He told me to stop seeing the lady… That I was ruining everything. I told him she wasn't bad, but he didn't believe me. He hit me. It hurts really bad. Then he called me a monster, and said to go up to my room and stay there. I'm not allowed to leave unless he says I can. And the whispers are even louder. I told the lady what he said, and she said I can stop seeing her… But I can't stop hearing her, or anyone else. I asked her why and she said that my eyes were already open, and I couldn't close them. But if I really wanted, I could stop looking, and I wouldn't see her or any of the other voices. I tried, and she's gone. I can't see her. But I can hear her. And the whispers keep getting louder and louder…

Entry 5

This is day one of isolation. Father says that if I can't see anyone outside of my room, maybe the voices will go away. He still hates me. He told me so. He doesn't regret hitting me either. The only reason he isn't going to do it again is because it upsets mother, and she's more bothersome when she's upset. I never even see mother anymore… But I hear her. I hear her scream in pain when father beats her. He shouts at her that it's her fault I'm this way. Her blood poisoned me. And they aren't whispers anymore. I can hear them clearly. They tell me how they all hate me, but I could escape if I wanted. I could leave. I could show them that I'm not crazy. I just have to tell the voices that's what I want… But I'm scared. The lady says that it's not what I really want. That those voices are bad, and they only want to hurt everyone. They disagree. They say that they'll only hurt them as they hurt me. Because that's what they deserve. I told them no. I don't want to hurt them… yet.