Dear Mr. Niccals;
We are very sorry to inform you that your mother, Rosemarie Johnson has passed away. She was found in her room early yesterday morning, the cause of death seems to be a suicide. If you wish for further details of her death you may reach us at this number…..
He stopped reading after that point. He didn't want to call their stupid number, he didn't care how the awful bitch called his mother died. Murdoc shredded up the letter to the point where no matter how somebody tried they could never put it back together. Johnson; that was the name she had given to the mental institution when she was admitted, she admitted herself. Murdoc closed his eyes tightly; he leaned back against the wall. He felt dizzy, he felt sick, and purely disgusted with himself; with his family and every dirty secret that went into his creation. Those doctors didn't have a damned clue what was wrong with his mother, why she had been so violent, and so angry towards men. Hell he himself didn't understand until he was well into his twenties. He wished that he still didn't know, he could have went twenty lifetimes without ever knowing where he had actually come from, the filth that went into making him.
He opened his eyes and looked down at the white pieces of paper scattered on the floor. She was dead and he was happy about that, ecstatic about it. He knew he shouldn't be, after all nothing was her fault. This wasn't her fault, what Sebastian Niccals had done to her wasn't her fault. Even though Murdoc's father told him that she had asked for it, that she had enjoyed every second of it; he knew better. Some nights he would lay awake and just imagine what had happened, he could almost hear her screams; hear her crying, just begging for Sebastian to stop. It made his stomach churn, he felt responsible for this. His skin felt like it was coated in filth as he thought about it more, thought about what had happened when he was conceived.
He wished the stories he had heard as a kid about his mom were the true ones. That she had been some hooker or some bored school teacher who got a little too lonely and far too desperate. He had heard the real story once when he had been about seven years of age, but he never believed it and he really couldn't comprehend it. He didn't know about those things….
He slid down to the floor pulling his knees up against himself.
In his head he replayed the conversation with his father that lead to the sick revelation of how he had been conceived. The way that his father had smiled smugly at him as he told Murdoc that his mother was actually his older sister, Sebastian had raped her, and as a result Murdoc was born.
Now he was crying, but it had nothing to do with his mother….His sister being dead.