A/N: I can't believe that I'm writing this… what has the world come to?
-Sigh- anyway, so one of my favorite shows ever (House) is set in New Jersey, and while listening to Music Choice (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's like radio through your TV and they give you facts about the artist or band that they are playing) I found out that one of my least favorite bands, The Jonas Brothers is from New Jersey too and that's how I got this plot bunny…. Why me???
What, I'm Treating Who?
Dr. House was sitting in his desk chair, amusing himself by throwing wads of paper across the room into his trash can.
It was a rather slow day at the hospital, the only patient that he had needed to treat was sent home, after being diagnosed with a severe allergy to cat hair. Chase, Cameron and Foreman were doing something trivial that he, Dr. House had ordered them to, and he was enjoying his time by wasting it.
"Shouldn't you be treating someone?" a voice in the doorway asked.
"Well you see Wilson, I am so incredibly amazing as a doctor that I can send a patient home the someday that that we admit them," House replied.
"Or sometimes you can discover something that the ER doctors missed and that something can be cured by a simple prescription for allergies. If you're not working, shouldn't you be fulfilling you clinic duty hours before Cuddy comes to yell at you?"
"Well, Cuddy is currently in a meeting that started," House paused and looked at the clock, "exactly twenty-seven minutes ago, so I have about thirty-three minutes to waste before I have to look like I'm doing something, it's apart of my process you—"
"Or you could have exactly thirty seconds to gather up your team and start treating your newest patient before I decide to replace you," another new voice in the door said, it was Cuddy herself.
"I can't I'm cripple. And how's you get out of the meeting so quickly?" House replied.
"Can't what? Get your team together in thirty seconds? Fine then, I'll give you five minutes, he's in exam room three. Or can't get replaced? You are not above the rest of the doctors in the hospital, so get a move on!"
House sighed, "Fine, what's the case? And you didn't answer my first question."
"A teenage boy who is experiencing extreme headaches, muscle cramps and dizziness, have fun." She tossed him the folder and left the office.
"Can you believe her?" He asked of Wilson.
"Yes, I can," Wilson replied and left as well.
Ten minutes later…
"So you're saying that we have to cure a teenage boy whose symptoms are dizziness, muscle cramps and severe headaches? That sounds like something that the ER should take care of," said Foreman.
"You," House said pointing at Chase "you can hear me right?"
"Uh, yeah, why are you asking me?" he replied looking confused.
"So there is no reason for Foreman to repeat me is there?"
"Um, what?"
"You can hear me can't you?" House asked Cameron this time. "Because you must have hearing problems, because you never seem to always go against what I say."
"House, how is patronizing us going to save the patient?" she asked.
"Oh so you all want to defy me, is that it? Well then, go check the patient out and test him for everything. GO NOW!"
Scared, they followed his orders and left.
"Does it seem like there's something wrong with House?" Foreman asked as soon as they were out of earshot.
"You mean other then the usual?" Chase snorted.
"Maybe he hasn't taken all his pills today," Cameron suggested.
"You mean a whole bottle of Vicoden?" Forman asked.
But before Cameron could reply, the three of them had to attend to their patient.
"Kevin Jonas correct?" Chase asked of the boy on the bed, who nodded in response.
"Jonas? You mean of the Jonas brothers?" Cameron asked looking up in shock.
"Uh yeah, that's us, but please don't make a big deal of it or anything, we don't want this getting leaked out to the media. You're not a screaming fan girl are you?" asked an older boy who was sitting in the corner.
"No it's not like that, I swear," She said hastily. "I have a little cousin who adores you guys and whenever I have a day of I visit her, that's all."
"Ok cool."
"So let's check you out," Chase said looking back and Kevin. "I'm going to draw some blood so we can run some tests. You'll feel a slight pinch. And we're done." Chase gave the vial of blood to Foreman who walked out of the room and toward the lab.
"Hmmmn. Have you been drinking much water lately?" Chase asked Kevin.
"Uh, I think so; I mean we've been doing a lot lately. Rehearsal for our concert, we wanted to make special for our hometown and its usually hard work even if it is fun. Then we had all of the publicity stuff going on, and some hang time with our family."
"The nurse said that they had a hard time finding an artery for the IV, do you think he's dehydrated?" Cameron asked Chase.
He nodded. Cameron pulled out her cell phone entered a number and set it on speaker. "Foreman, look at the blood under the microscope."
"Why?" asked Foreman at the other side.
"We need to see if the red blood cells have suffered symptoms of dehydration."
"Hold on a sec," he paused, "Yep looks like your right."
"Thanks Foreman." Chase said and Cameron hung up the phone. "Looks like you're dehydrated, we need to keep you off solid food for a little bit and you need to drink plenty of liquids. We're also going to keep you here over night just to make sure that it is dehydration and not anything more severe."
"So looks like you kiddies found out the cure all by yourself, I'm so proud of you, now if you'll excuse me I need to go collect money from Wilson," House said walking in.
"Why?" asked Cameron.
"Because we made a bet a few minutes ago that I was smarter than all of the ER doctors, and you just proved me right."
"So you just had two cases that were the easiest ones ever and you have to go brag about it? And you didn't do anything! We did all the work on this one! That's not fair" Cameron protested.
"Yes, well sometimes life isn't fair." And he left.
The Next Day…
"Looks like your all better, you can go home now if you'd like," Chase said, checking up on Kevin.
"Cool thanks man! Here, these are for you and your friends," Kevin said handing him and envelope.
Chase accepted it and pulled out the contents. "Concert tickets? I can't accept these, it's our job to help you get better."
"Aw come one!" one of his brothers protested. "Take them! Or give them to someone; we're really grateful for helping us out."
"Ok, well then, thanks. I'll have a nurse escort you guys out."
Chase left the room and made his way to House's office. When he entered House looked up from his game of paper toss.
"Here House, take Wilson to a concert."
A/N: I still can't believe that I actually wrote that. So what do you think, if you hate it I can understand. I got the idea for the ending from the episode where Wilson took Cuddy to a play.
Yeah…. Not by best idea, but I think it's a little funny….