Don't own any characters.

Chapter One
The Past, The Present, and The Future

You never know how strong you are until
being strong is the only choice you have.

Where is he? Annie Camden thought to herself

Annie had been sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for her husband to return home for six hours. He had been working late hours the past few months trying to open a second parish, but he promised he would be home no later than five today. She looked at the clock and saw there was only an hour left to this particular day.

Ruthie sat on the kitchen stairs, watching her mother repetitively check the clock. Annie watched as the minute hand ticked forward every sixty seconds. 11:07, 11:08, 11:09 Ruthie counted along in her head. She chuckled when she saw the time was now 11:11. Her brothers and sisters had told her years ago about this special minute-a minute where any wish you make will come true. They said Ruthie's wishes were more likely to come true because she was born on November 11, but that was a lie. Even on Ruthie's 11th birthday at 11:11, her wish didn't come true.

When the clock struck midnight, Annie went up to their bedroom their 30th wedding anniversary was over now. There was no point in staying up to celebrate the happiest day of her life with the one she could not live without. She spent hours tossing and turning wondering where Eric could be before falling into a restless sleep.

When Eric finally returned home at 5 AM, he noticed the dry tear tracks on his wife's face and felt a pang of guilt run through him. He wished for the days when things were simpler. When anniversaries we happy and celebrated to the fullest. He didn't fully understand why he did any of it, but he didn't regret it. His actions were completely right and he still stood by them. He did regret what it did to his family. What it's still doing to his family. When he finally fell asleep, his dreams were filled with the days when "family" actually meant something.

The next morning, Annie woke up to find her husband sleeping beside her. Typical of a married couple, yes, but his peaceful form angered her greatly. How could he sleep so deeply when she had tossed and turned all night long? How could he think she would allow him to share a bed with her when he had missed their anniversary, a milestone anniversary? She began shaking him awake.

"Where the hell were you last night?"

Eric woke with a start, confused as to who was yelling at him and why. When he remembered his broken promise from the night prior, he quickly exclaimed, "I'm so sorry, honey! I really tried to be home by five but it's not easy opening a new parish. You know that!"

"And you didn't think to call? I spent our 30th wedding anniversary alone!"

"I'll make it up to you, Annie. I promise!"

"Your promises mean so very little to me lately. You have been more and more distant over these past few months and I'm tired of it, Eric. This was our 30th wedding anniversary. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it does, Annie. I love you. You know that, right?"

"I understand that you have to work late, Eric, but it's every single night and it's not just an hour or two. When's the last time you came home before I went to sleep? I don't know if you love me, Eric, but I do know that, at least lately, you love your work much more than you love me or this family."

"We have been married thirty years, of course I love you. And I would die for all three of those kids, you know that. They mean the world to me, that's why I'm opening a new church! I want to give them everything they could ever want. I can try to do some of the work at home from now on, but I can't promise anything."

Before Annie could respond, there was a knock at the door, which then opened, revealing Ruthie.

"Sorry, don't mean to interrupt, but Sam, David and I are starting to get hungry, so I wanted to know if you were making breakfast or if I should," Ruthie awkwardly spit out.

"Yes, I'll make it. I'll be down in a minute. Please help your brothers get dressed."

Ruthie turned to do what her mother had asked but not without worrying about what she had just overheard. She knew her parents were going through a rough spot but didn't really give it a second thought. She had heard many arguments throughout her life, which was expected. Married people fight, but this was different. This was her parents questioning their love for each other. This wasn't yelling and screaming about a difference of opinion. This sounded more like giving up.

At breakfast, Ruthie watched her parents carefully, analyzing every facial expression, word, or movement. She did notice that their faces no longer held the glow once present whenever her parents looked at each other, the glow that had always confirmed for her brothers, sisters, and herself that Annie and Eric Camden we soul mates and madly, deeply in love with each other. For the first time in years, Ruthie Camden just wanted her big brothers and sisters to take care of it. For them to hold her and tell her everything would all be okay.

She shook her head as if it would remove all thoughts of the past from her mind. They were always there, no matter how hard she tried to erase them. It's been ten years since that day, the worst day of her life. Ruthie was certain that memory would never go away, even if all the others since did. That day changed her life completely and she missed what it had been before. Her life was most certainly not perfect, but it was still pretty good. She was loved and that's all that really matters. She would leave if it were not for Sam and David. Ruthie was their big sister and it was her job to protect them from any pain and hurt, especially when she herself had been through that pain multiple times. She would never purposefully put anyone through this.

When Eric drove his two youngest sons to their elementary school that morning, he could barely contain his tears. He knew what he was doing was unforgiveable and would destroy his family. His five oldest children had grown up with a stable, loving family. They had a good model for relationships and marriage and a mother and a father living in the same house and involved in every aspect of their children's lives. Eric knew that this would not be the same for Sam and David and it was his entire fault. Ten years ago, it seemed like the perfect plan and was best for the entire family. He had good reasons, though, reasons that still made sense.

Because high schools get out earlier than elementary schools, Ruthie and Annie had time to spend alone "just girls" until Sam and David returned home. This was Ruthie's favorite time of the day because it gave her a chance to talk to her mom without any interruptions, which is rare when you have six siblings. Today, however, Ruthie was not looking forward to this time alone. She wanted her siblings there to distract her from what she had overheard that morning. The minute she entered the house, Ruthie sprinted towards her attic bedroom, but was not quick enough.

"Where are you running off to? I thought we were going to paint each other's nails today."

"Um, yeah, I have homework…"

"Oh, you can do that later! This is our special time together and pretty soon you'll be off at college. I only have you full-time for a few more months and I want to make the most of it!"

"Well, if I don't go do my homework then I'll fail and won't graduate. Do you really think the cost of not graduating outweighs me staying another year?"

"Ruthie. I don't want you to forget about your homework. I just want you to put it off until the boys get home. I think you can spare an hour to spend with your dear old mother."

"Alright, mom. Do you have everything set up?"

"Yes, it's all in the kitchen. I thought we could also make some snacks while we chatted."

"That sounds perfect, Mom. Thank you."

"Oh, no, honey, thank you. You have no idea how much these afternoons mean to me. It's nice to be reminded that our family sticks together and can talk about anything. I love you kids so much and you're all just growing up so fast."

"They mean a lot to me, too. It's nice to be able to spend time together, just the two of us. I really will miss you guys next year."

"Oh, baby, we will miss you, too. Any thought as to where you would like to apply?"

"No, but I still don't want anyone to know. I love you all but sometimes I make decisions based on what you want instead of what I want."

"Well, you should definitely go with what you want. We will all try to stay out of it."

"Yeah, that's why I'm keeping all of that stuff at Peter's house. You can try all you want but no Camden has ever been able to stay out of other people's business."

"Yes, and you, my dear, are the queen."

"Hey! I think Dad is pretty good at it himself."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess he is."

"What's going on with you and Dad?"

"Nothing, sweetie, everything's fine. You know our family goes through life together. We can't be separated."

Ruthie couldn't help but to mutter under her breath, "Like we haven't been already."

"I'm sorry?"

"I said, 'Shouldn't we be painting our nails already?'"

"Oh, yes, of course! What color?"

"Hmmm…how about lime green?"

"Good choice! So, how was school today?

"School was school. I learn things I couldn't care less about."

"Well, in college you'll be able to take only classes that interest you."

"Yeah, but I don't really know what that is. I have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I grow up."

"You don't have to know what you want your major to be to take interesting classes. Experiment! That's what college is all about!"

"I guess you're right."

"I'm your mother. I'm always right."

"Yeah, Mom, okay."

Ruthie and Annie spent the rest of the time talking until the boys returned home. Ruthie retreated to her attic bedroom and lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She thought about how much her life had changed over the past few years and how much she wish it could go back to the way it was. Her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, Peter, she answered right away.

"Hey, Peter."

"You okay?"

"Ha, yeah, I'm fine. Just dealing with my stupid family as usual. I wish I could just get away from them all."

"No, you wish you could just get away from your parents. I know you would never leave Sam and David."

"Except I have to and that kills me."

"You're not him, Ruthie. He left because he was selfish. You'll be leaving because it's time for you to leave. You can't protect Sam and David forever."

"I have to. I'm all they have left."

"They can depend on each other."

"They need a big sister."

"They have one."

"They should have three."