Leading Me Home
Author's Note:
Here's to the people who asked for a sequel/another part to Written In Ink. Thanks for the support, the follows, and the reviews! The whole thing might be a bit confusing, and it's meant to be that way. When the words five, and ten are in bold, that means it happened when Niña was that age. Italicized text represent dreams. The rest are happening in the present and in real life, with the points of view shifting from James to Niña. Remember that she's around 24 or so, I'm not exactly sure myself. Happy reading!
Five
The Winter Soldier had just gotten used to having a little girl waiting for him to come back. It was a weird feeling, he decided, though he didn't deny that the small girl who was currently asleep had become a big part of his life.
Were all soulmates like this?
He couldn't seem to remember this kind of thing happening, and when he tried to dig into his memories, all he got was a splitting headache.
"Ow."
His attention snapped back to Niña, who was now very much awake and rubbing her forehead. He winced at the thought of having caused her pain, going towards her to comfort her. She clung to him, babbling tiredly.
"I can't understand you when you're talking like that, Nin," he reminded her.
She stared up at him for a moment before giving him a mischievous grin and continuing on speaking in her mother tongue. He sighed, wondering where she got that kind of attitude from.
He didn't know how he managed to get attached to her so quickly, or why he felt the urge to protect her from everything he could. He wanted to distance himself from her in order to reduce the risk of hurting her, yet, he never wanted to be apart. It was a weird feeling, and he was unsure of whether it was good or bad.
The part of him that HYDRA strung along like a puppet said that it was bad, that having attachments and sentiments towards something he might lose was a horrible idea. The other part, the small part of him that still acted like the man he once was, said that Niña was the best things that ever happened to him.
He wasn't sure which part was right.
Finally, after what felt like hours of her talking nonstop, she grew tired and began to fall asleep once more. With a yawn, she wished him good night, and he didn't have the heart to tell her it was ten in the morning, or that he'd have to leave by noon. Instead, he let her sleep, hoping he'd come back soon.
"Hey, there, sugar. Maybe after your shift you'd like to go out with me for a while. My apartment's just a few blocks away."
Jeanine internally groaned at the guy, seemingly unable to take a hint. She knew it all but came with her gender that she'd get hit on by guys every now and then, but working as a waitress during a late night shift for a 24 hour café made the situation worse.
It had been almost a year since she escaped from HYDRA. Luckily for her, she had met a nice lady, Mrs. Kilman, who had helped her through it. She was, from what she told her, previously part of S.H.I.E.L.D., though she retired a few years back. She was also the one who got her a flat and a job; she owed the kind woman her life, really.
"So, baby girl, what do you say?"
She deadpanned at the guy. "You have a soulmate, I have mine. Back off."
The bastard had the nerve to pout. "C'mon, man. What they don't know won't hurt them."
"No. Take a hint."
He sighed before backing off. "Fine, then. At least have my number if you have a change of mind."
Jeanine groaned once more, knowing that this was going to be a long day.
She was right. The rest of it was filled with the normal "can-I-take-your-order"s and "thank-you-have-a-nice-day"s that came with the job. She didn't need to put too much effort into things, except for her self-control when it came to biting back witty remarks that may get her fired. Customer service, it seemed, was more of a test on patience than anything. After work, she went back to her flat and got ready for bed, like she always did.
She didn't mind the routine her job gave her, and the actions others perceived as mundane were like a breather to her. After HYDRA and after too much action for one lifetime, she wanted this kind of life. She wondered if that would ever be possible, if a normal life like this with James would ever be possible.
She wasn't an idiot, and she was no longer the naïve child she once was. She knew that James was the infamous Winter Soldier, and that the blood on his hands were a huge burden for him to live with. She knew that if she met him again, there would be no guarantee that he would remember her, or that he wouldn't see her as a target and kill her on sight. She knew that the possibility of being with him again was smaller than a grain of sand compared to the universe.
But that didn't stop her from hoping.
Because maybe, just maybe, her little dream would come true.
There was blood, and sweat, and tears, and pain. So much pain.
There were times when she just wanted to stay on the ground for a bit, not moving, not going on, just giving up. Those times made up most of her free time, whenever she wasn't focusing on what to do next in order to get away.
Survival wasn't even a priority for her sake. She just wanted to be free.
James.
The name haunted her; the words on her skin seemingly taunting her somehow. She could hear menacing laughter in her head, telling her she'd never find him again, that he wouldn't remember her now.
She tried shutting the voices out, but her own mind was too strong for that.
James.
James.
James.
James woke up from a nightmare. It was similar to the ones he'd been having almost every night ever since he entered the small town. Renting a flat was easy, he'd just had to charm the landlady and pay the bills. Sleeping in the said flat was harder.
Almost everything reminded him of her now, of Niña. From the bed to the microwave to even the potted plant on the fire escape, all he saw was traces of her. Her smile, her laugh, her wit, everything.
He shook his head; dwelling on the past would do him no good. Instead, he got ready to start the day, wondering what'd happen next. When he was done, he grabbed his bag and went out, taking a deep breath and calming his nerves before walking.
Every morning, at 5 o'clock sharp, he would visit the same café near his apartment. The waitresses were nice and, after the initial flirting, refrained from asking him questions about himself.
That morning, they gave him his usual coffee and treat before leaving him to brood in the far left corner booth. He pulled out his notebook once he was seated and began to link together what he had learned recently.
He did this every morning, just to clear his mind for what to do next. He still had a long way to go, that much he knew, and was far from redemption, but he wanted to keep going. He wanted to be someone better, not only for himself, but for his Niña as well.
James snapped back to reality and realized he had been unconsciously writing her name on his notebook. He cursed himself as he tried to erase the pencil markings, wondering what had gotten into him lately. It seemed like she was always at the front of his mind.
"Oh my gosh, did you hear that Jen get hit on again last night?" he heard a waitress whisper not so discreetly to her friend. "Poor girl. Comes with having that air around her, I guess."
"Yeah," one said, adding her agreement. "Though I don't get why they find her so beautiful. She's not even that pretty."
"She is kinda cute though," added a male.
James wondered a bit on who this Jen was, pitying her ever so slightly for being hit on by random men. He wondered for a second why the name seemed so familiar, as if the name of an old acquaintance. He was about to ask them who this mystery girl was, if only for the sake of knowing, before deciding against it. He had to keep a low profile and not attract any unnecessary attention.
James drowned out their conversation, trying to focus on his work instead.
Ten
When Jeanine turned ten, they were transferred to a new facility. She didn't know why, but then again, they never told her anything of importance when it came to HYDRA. She had tried asking the guards, however, they stayed silent and stood by, like they always did. Not knowing spoiled her mood.
Still, she couldn't stay in a bad mood for long. She was waiting for James to show up in their new room, and she took the time to look around.
The bed was larger; she guessed they could lie down and still have space to move around, not that she was complaining. The room space was bigger too, and there was actually a door separating the bathroom and the bedroom this time. Instead of bars, there was a door which could only be locked and unlocked from the outside, which she guessed was better than having people stare at her whenever they felt like it. All in all, she liked it more than their old one.
Her head snapped up at the sound of footsteps approaching the door, and in walked James. She smiled upon seeing him and ran towards him. He grinned at seeing her, opening his arms to let her hug him.
"I'm glad you're back," she told him earnestly.
"I'm glad I am too, Niña," he replied, his voice softer than a whisper. "How have you been?"
"Bored." She pouted and stuck her tongue out when he chuckled. "Well, it's true! Everything's more dull when you're not here. Why do you have to leave all the time?"
"I already told you: when I'm not here, I'm on a mission, a very important mission, or in cryo, which is why I don't seem to look older while you grow up," he explained.
"Well, then, why can't HYDRA do it themselves? Why do they need you?" she added, frowning slightly. "I don't like it."
"You don't have to. Just accept it."
Niña sighed. "Fine."
James couldn't help but smile at her reaction. "That's my girl."
The smile she gave him washed away all his fears, worries, and doubts. He liked it when he was around her; it seemed like everything was easier. Like the sun shined a bit brighter, and the air was a bit easier to breathe in. From what he knew, this was because of their bond, which he thought made sense considering they had no one but each other.
"James."
Niña's voice broke through this thoughts like a bullet hitting a glass vase. He looked down at her petite figure; she had her arms out, wanting another hug. He obliged, letting her ruffle up his hair and trace patterns onto his left arm.
"I love you, James."
He looked down again in surprise. She said them so innocently, not knowing the weight they carried. She looked up at him, expecting an answer to her statement.
"I love you too, Niña."
Again, she grinned; and again, his world brightened up.
"Are you sure she can't come in tomorrow?" Jeanine asked Mr. Roy, referring to her coworker, Micah.
Micah was a sweet enough girl, but her immune system wasn't so great, which meant that she had to miss work every now and then. She made up for it by working double time whenever she was around, but the harder part was finding a replacement for her whenever she wasn't.
"She told me she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. She can cover your shift, if you want."
"No. It's fine, but I expect to be paid for this, Mr. Roy," she told him jokingly.
He chuckled. "Alright, alright. Anyway, since her shift's from 5 to 8, maybe you can finally see that handsome guy Abby and Heather keep talking about. Who knows, maybe you'll actually get a date."
"Mr. Roy!"
The old man gave a laugh before hanging up on her, leaving her clutching the phone and a bit flustered. He was her boss, as well as Mrs. Kilman's husband, who took it upon himself to act like a father figure in her life. He was constantly trying to get her to go on dates with guys he deemed worthy, which, sadly, were often regular customers who she could never look directly in the eye afterwards. They didn't mind, and he thought it would be a good practice for her social skills.
The problem was that she could never see them that way, not when her heart was still beating for James, no matter what he did, Winter Soldier or no.
Jeanine pushed all thoughts of him to the back of her head, focusing instead on getting an early sleep tonight in order to make up for getting early tomorrow. Fixing up her uniform, she thought of who this mystery man could be.
He was quiet yet polite, from what she heard from Mark. She had often rolled her eyes at Abby and Heather's descriptions of him, mostly because the way they ranked the looks of a guy were often different from hers. Still, if this guy earned a 9 on their scale, then he must be at least pretty good looking.
She went to the café early, due to Mr. Roy's request, and began tidying the place up. Abby and Heather were already there when she arrived, gossiping between themselves. She heard snippets of their conversation, and she guessed that they were trying to get each other to ask Mystery Man out.
She almost laughed at their actions, wondering what their soulmates must think of them. When the time came for Mystery Man to arrive, she was all but pushed to the kitchens by the two, who wanted to personally serve him themselves.
"Way to treat a coworker, girls. Good job," she said dryly, knowing full well she no longer held their attention. Mark gave her a sad smile. She turned to face him. "What's the big deal about this guy anyway?"
He shrugged. "He's hot?"
She raised an eyebrow before going outside to check on the poor man. He was being interrogated by the two, and from what she saw, he was very uncomfortable with it. Realizing no one else was going to help him, she went over herself.
"Abby, Heather, there's a customer asking for you two," she told them, giving both of them a stern look when they were about to protest. "Go check it out."
They sighed before going back to the counter. Jeanine faced Mystery Man, wanting to apologize for her coworkers' behavior. However, the words died in her throat when she saw who it was.
"James?" she asked softly, her voice unsure.
"Hey, Niña," he replied, smiling as if they had never been apart.
Tears threatened to spill over, and it took every bit of self-control that she had to not break down right then and there. Instead, she stepped forward and allowed herself to be engulfed in a hug.
"I missed you, so so much," he whispered.
"I missed you too."
This was it. This was what home felt like, right here, in his arms.