A/N: This is a one-shot that I wrote which goes along with the song "Mexico" by "Jump, Little Children". I absolutely cannot recommend this song enough! I heard it for the very first time yesterday, and I think it's absolutely beautiful. If you can, definitely try to download it so you can hear it with this story – the song is fantastic :)
I hope you enjoy this story. Please review – I would love to know your thoughts on it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones, nor do I own the lyrics to this song. I just love them both!
"Do you ever just, you know, sit on the beach? Pretend there's no such thing as skeletons?"
"Is that in any way fun?"
"When was the last time you got away?"
-- The Man in the Wall
I WON'T LET YOU GO
Booth cursed the sun that was shining through the curtains of his bedroom. He cursed the birds for singing so noisily when all he wanted to do was lie like this forever. But most of all, he cursed the airplane that was about to take Brennan away from him later that morning.
Temperance Brennan laid curled up beside Booth, her small toes poking out from beneath his tangled sheets. Her head gently rose and fell against his chest with every breath he took. Their relationship had begun over a year ago when their thoughtful stares and insurmountable tension had become too hard to bear. Though they had been officially together for that long, everyone knew that it had all begun when Booth picked up Brennan from the airport after her time in Guatemala.
Guatemala felt like years ago to Brennan, and when the opportunity arose for her to go on a four month sabbatical in Haiti, she knew there was no way she could turn them down.
Booth remembered how his heart sank when his partner told him the news. But there was just something in her tone; something in the way she said it made him think she didn't want to leave for that long. Though Booth wanted her to be happy, if there was any hesitation toward her sabbatical, he would do anything to keep her here with him in DC.
I won't let you go
I won't let you go
Not to Detroit City
Not to Chicago.
Lying there that morning, Booth sighed at the thought of her imminent departure that day and he knew that as much as he loved her there was nothing he could say or do that would make her change her mind. Temperance stirred slightly in her sleep as if subconsciously aware of his worried state, but continued to sleep on peacefully in the midst of his mental struggle.
It was certainly not as if Booth hadn't tried his hardest to make her change her mind. He was well aware that no amount of affection, sacrifice, or tenderness could thwart her stubborn mind. By leaving for Haiti she knew she was being the person she was before Booth came into the picture: a concentrated, hard working woman who valued her career over everything.
And I won't let you go
I won't let you go
Not to Mississippi
Not to Tupelo.
This is why Booth decided to give her a choice. It was not an ultimatum by any means, nor was it a way to make her forget her work. The proposition simply offered a way to let her reassess what she valued most in her life. This is why he bought the tickets.
He had surprised her with the tickets exactly one week prior to her scheduled leave of absence, as he had also applied for the same time off when he was made aware of her plans.
Two one-way tickets to Mexico lay in his outstretched hand, and she stared at them confusedly.
"I don't want to pressure you" he had said to her once recognition dawned on her face, "I just want you to have a choice. I'm not asking you not to go to Haiti… I just want you to know that there is more to your beautiful life than your job. I know it's what you love… but I love you too."
But if you're gonna leave
I'm asking you to please
Go all the way
To Mexico.
He wanted to take her on the vacation both of them really needed; an escape, really, from the death and darkness that they had learned to live with. He wanted to take her somewhere where they could be Temperance and Seeley, not just Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth.
Tossing and turning for three nights, she finally had come to a decision. She packed her bags for Haiti the next morning.
I won't let you leave I won't let you leave
I won't let you leave
Not with all my Django
Emmy Lou and Steve.
I won't let you leave
Not with my revival
Tucked down in the sleeve.
She did not make her decision with any ounce of ungratefulness or stubbornness toward Booth, but she simply could not turn her superiors down. Booth and Brennan never talked about it much after she had come to a decision, because he knew it would do no good to try to debate with her. Though he wouldn't dare say it, all Booth really wanted was for Brennan to choose him over her career. Just for once.
All of these thoughts were spiraling though his head the morning of Brennan's departure, when all he really wanted to do was hold her in his arms like this for as long as he could. But there was no holding this woman down – he knew that the moment he laid eyes upon her.
All of a sudden the blaring alarm clock chimed, causing Booth to snap back to reality and for Brennan to murmur against his chest in her last moments of slumber.
He reached over and swatted the alarm clock gently and then returned his hand to brush Brennan's hair out of her eyes that were staring up at him rather sadly. He returned the unsaid message of sorrow in her eyes, and the two stared at each other for a moment. Brennan lifted her head and kissed him slowly, not wanting him to open his eyes and see the tears that were forming inside her own.
She had made this decision to leave, and she had to take it seriously. She had to be rational. She had to leave.
She got up silently and headed for the shower; her plane was leaving in five hours, yet all she wanted to do was feel the scalding water beat against her skin and melt this all away.
But if you're going to go
Take the ones you gave to me
All the way
To Mexico.
The drive to the airport went relatively quietly. It was as if they were both running on auto-pilot as they ran through the list of the things she needed.
Passport?
Boarding Card?
Carry-on?
Booth had planned to head on to Mexico for a week the next day, even though it would be an independent trip. He didn't want to go without Brennan, but he already had the ticket and it seemed a shame to waste it. Besides, he knew that either way all he would be thinking about would be her.
All the way to the shore of California Bay
And I'll be fine
'Cause I have taken you back for the last time.
Booth won the typical argument about carrying her bags, and helped her check them on to the plane. They walked as far as the Security Point, and Booth knew that was as far as he was allowed to go. They slowed their pace and looked up at each other; both of them had been dreading this moment.
"Be safe" he whispered as he pulled Brennan's body against his own in a tender hug. Brennan wanted to respond immediately but the lump of anxiousness in her throat left her temporarily mute.
She tried to take it all in. His warmth, his scent… this moment was going to last her for all of four months. She knew he would be waiting for her when she returned, but somehow this just felt wrong.
"I'm sorry about Mexico" she managed.
Instantly feeling sympathy for her, he tightened his arms around her. "Don't be…" he assured her. Never in his dreams did he want to pressure her, he just honestly thought that for once her decision would favor her heart over her head.
He pulled back from the hug and kissed her slowly, savoring the moment for as long as he could.
Brennan heard him take in a ragged breath to say something, but he said it so quietly that she could barely hear him.
"I don't want you to go."
Brennan kissed his forehead. "I know…"
Just then the faintly accented voice of the overhead speaker paged everyone on Brennan's plane to make their way to the gate.
"I'll see you soon, I promise." She said as she slowly backed away toward the growing security line.
"I love you."
"Goodbye."
And I won't set you free But if you're gonna go
I won't set you free
Not to say it's over
Come right back to me.
I'm giving you the key
But only if you'll go
To Mexico.
Temperance felt robotic. She put her bags through the X-ray machine, answered questions at Customs, and quickly found her seat next to the window of the large plane. She knew she should be thrilled at the chance to work in Haiti for four months. After all, international aid was her favourite part of the job. Except for working with Booth…
Brennan was not a woman to second-guess herself often, but she couldn't shake the nauseating feeling that she had made a horrible mistake by boarding this plane. There was something she had seen in Booth's eyes, something that made her want to jump off this plane just to feel his kiss once more.
All the way to the shore of California Bay
And I'll be fine
'Cause I have taken you back for the last time.
Booth hadn't slept a wink all night, and he felt like a zombie as he walked numbly though the airport the next morning. He'd received a phone call from Brennan late the night before letting him know she had arrived in Haiti safely, but the connection was disabled so they could not talk for long.
Part of him wished he had cancelled his trip to Mexico all together – it felt stupid to go there without Brennan. On the other hand, disappearing into the anonymity of a foreign country and drowning his sorrows in umbrella drinks wouldn't be as bad as last night. At least he hoped.
Boarding the plane, he quickly found his seat and made note of the empty one next to his that Brennan would have filled.
Silently, he reached for the empty seat's armrest and gave it a squeeze, imagining what it would have been like with her right there beside him.
All the way to the shore of California Bay
And I'll be fine
'Cause I have taken you back for the last time.
Booth had only been in Mexico for four hours and already he was bored. He had walked aimlessly around the hotel and checked his cell countless times with the hope that Brennan had tried to reach him. She hadn't.
Leaving the hotel, he walked to the beach owned by the hotel to experience the last of the sunset. The smell of the salt sea air permeated his nostrils and he longed to get closer to the water. Kicking off his sandals he let his feet sink into the sun-kissed sand just as the last sliver of fiery sunset began to be devoured by the horizon.
He sat down in the powdery white sand and listened to the melody of the crashing, murky waves. He sat quietly and deep in thought until the sun had completely set. Glancing down at his watch he realized that he couldn't stay here all night and should soon head inside the hotel.
It was then that he felt as if someone was watching him.
So if you're gonna go
Baby won't you please
Go all the way to Mexico
He glanced from side to side, but it was only when he turned slightly to push himself up that he saw the familiar figure standing quietly behind him.
"Took you long enough" Temperance said with a coy smile that broadened as she took in the shocked look on Booth's face.
His face also widened into a grin as he took to huge steps toward her and picked her up into his arms. She laughed as he spun her around in a circle before setting her back down on the ground. Their lips met in a passionate kiss as his hands roamed her body, thinking that at any moment she would disappear like a mirage. This couldn't be real.
"What made you change your mind? How…?" he asked finally, unable to wipe the grin off his face.
"I got to Haiti and bargained my way on another plane to get me back to you. This is the most impulsive thing I've ever done but I just… I couldn't… I love my job, but I couldn't make that sacrifice. You mean too much to me…"
He silenced her words with another kiss, beaming at those words from her that he'd wanted to hear for so long.
All the way to Mexico
They sat on that beach for hours more, basking in the moonlight and in the wonder of the discovery that sometimes the most irrational idea makes the most sense. If you're going to take a leap of faith, don't over-think it.