What is Christmas?

It was a snowy December afternoon and the Gems, Greg and Steven were hard at work while Lion slept in front of the fireplace. It was that time of year, Christmas time. They had already finished the outside and most of the inside. They had just finished placing the last ornament on their Christmas tree, so now, there was only one thing left to do.

"Steven, do you have the star?" Asked Pearl.

"Right here!" Steven excitedly exclaimed as he removed a gold painted metal star, that sat atop a spiral of metal so that it would sit comfortably from atop the Christmas tree, from its box.

This was his favorite part of decorating, putting the star on top of the tree. Just as he started making his way to Garnet so that she could lift him up for him to perform his task, the warp pad activated and out from it emerged two Gems, Peri Peridot, and "Doc" Ruby. (In this universe, Jasper was cured of her corruption because she wasn't corrupted for very long. Afterwards, she and Bismuth were redeemed as friends after finally seeing the error of their ways. Later on, the Ruby Squad joined them as well. They even accepted their new nicknames and started going by them so that the others could specify who they were talking to. Peri even started using her nickname like a first name, and her actual name like her last name.)

"You're absolutely wrong!" Argued the key-lime green skinned Gem.

"Oh, please, that episode is garbage!" Argued the red skinned Gem.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

"I WILL NOT!"

They turned to face the residents of the beach house but closed their eyes while keeping their hands behind their backs as Peri spoke.

"Ahem, Steven, would you kindly inform this erroneous clod that she is incorrect in assuming that the best episode of Camp Pining Hearts is—!"

Upon the word "clod", Doc opened her eyes, slightly, intending to momentarily give Peri a sideways glare; however, upon opening her eyes, she then took notice of the change in the appearance of Steven's home. Peri stopped talking once she too opened her eyes to see the scenery around her. The top edges of the walls were lined with red and white garland and matching blinking lights. A green wreath was hung on the outside of the screen door, red ribbon was found on some of the doors in the house, including the refrigerator, green, pine-ish garland went on the outer edge of the kitchen bar, and to top it all off, standing tall, in the middle of the room, was a tall spruce tree that looked just big enough to fit through the door. The tree was decorated with more bright, blinking lights, shiny, small, spherical objects, etc.

Peri and Doc stopped their petty squabbling so that they could continue to look around the room, silently admiring the decorations.

"Wow, these are some impressive meep-morps." Said Peri.

Steven chuckled at her assumption.

"Peri, these aren't meep-morps." He said. "They're decorations. You know, for Christmas?"

"Kriss-muss?" Asked Peri.

"What is 'kriss-muss'?" Asked Doc.

Steven gasped in realization, dropping the star in the process.

"Oh, my gosh! That's right, you and the other Gems have never even heard of Christmas!"

"I repeat what she said, 'What is 'kriss-muss'?'" Said Peri, repeating what Doc said.

"Allow me to explain." Said Pearl, stepping between the residents and the two barn Gems. "You see, a long time ago—"

"Wait!" Said Steven, cutting Pearl off. "They should all hear it. Maybe Lapis and the others will want to celebrate Christmas with us."

"That's a great idea, Steven." Said Garnet.

"Sure, I bet they'll love it." Agreed Greg.

"Well, what are we waiting for, Christmas? C'mon, last one to the barn's a cuppa rotten eggnog!" Joked Amethyst as she ran passed everyone, made it to the warp pad and activated it, warping herself to the barn.

The rest followed suit once Steven and Greg had on their coats. As the glow of the warp disappeared, the sight of the countryside soon came into view. Just about every part of the scenery was covered in a thick blanket of snow, especially the barn. Even the small lake outside of the barn became frozen solid. All around, tiny snowflakes floated down from the sky, only adding to the lovely, wintery scenery.

Amethyst was already there, and once the rest of them had finally arrived, they all made their way to the barn. Navy was seen sitting at the entrance to the barn, admiring the scenery. Once she noticed her friends approach, she joined them as they entered the barn. Upon entrance, the residents of the barn could be found doing their usual thing. Jasper was doing bench-presses with Eyeball sitting on the bar, spotting her. Army was practicing her combat skills on her punching bag. And Bismuth, Leggy, and Lapis, with Pumpkin sitting on her lap, were sitting on the couch, watching Camp Pining hearts.

In order to make room for their new "barnmates", Peri and Lapis had decided to put in a back room to keep their morps safe. They were planning on adding more space to the back room. Since things had been quiet for a while, Bismuth was convinced to spend some time at the barn so that she could become closer to the new crystal Gems, and it worked… sort of. Lapis was still getting used to her, what with Bismuth being partially responsible for Lapis being trapped in a mirror. Also, Peri, Doc and Bismuth installed a heater so that the silo-quarium wouldn't freeze.

"LAPIS?! I TOLD YOU TO KEEP IT PAUSED UNTIL WE GOT BACK!" Shouted Peri while Doc held her face, groaning.

Lapis turned her head upon hearing her friend and first roommate shout her name from the bottom level of the barn.

"SORRY, LEGGY SAT ON THE REMOTE AND I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO PAUSE IT AGAIN!" Lapis shouted back.

"Oh… SORRY!" Leggy shouted, nervously.

"(groan)… JUST… FORGET IT, OKAY?!" Shouted Peri. "JUST GET DOWN HERE, STEVEN WANTS TO TELL US SOMETHING!"

This got everyone's attention, for they all sat up straight after hearing this, and then soon made their way to the visitors' location.

"What's goin' on, meatball?" Asked Bismuth.

"Steven wishes tell us about something called… um… 'kriss-muss.'" Explained Doc.

"Kriss-muss?! Oh, no!" Shouted Leggy. "… Um… what's 'kriss-muss'?"

At this, everyone just groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Well, Christmas is—" Pearl was once again interrupted.

"Wait!" Shouted Steven. "This needs the proper setting."

So, with the help of the Gems, a small campfire was set up right in front of the barn with some chairs, logs and rocks set around it for everyone to sit on. The Gems even went back to the house to get some hot chocolate and marshmallows and Steven helped make sure that Pumpkin was bundled up nice and tight so that she wouldn't freeze, what with her being produce and all. Once everyone was seated around the campfire, it was finally time.

"So are you finally going to explain to us what 'kriss-muss' is?" Peri asked.

"Why, certainly." Said Pearl, standing up to begin her explanation. "You see, Christmas is—"

"Actually, Pearl, I think Steven should do the honors." Interrupted Greg.

And so, as Pearl sat down, once again, being kept from another opportunity to explain something, Steven stood up and began explaining. He told the barn resident Crystal Gems everything he knew about Christmas. He told them about blinking lights, decorations and tasty food. About the giving of gifts and the story behind the holiday. He even mentioned other holidays, but his main focus was on Christmas. Finally, he mentioned the figure-head of Christmas, Santa Claus.

"What's a… 'Santa' 'Claws'?" Asked Jasper.

"I bet it's some kinda' monster we gotta fight!" Said Eyeball.

"I bet I could take it!" Exclaimed Army as she began to fight nothing.

"Wait-wait-wait, Santa Claus isn't a monster!" Said Steven, trying his best to calm his friends.

"It won't be when I'm done with it!" Army's statement proved that his attempts had failed.

"No, Santa Claus is a human!" This finally made the energetic ruby stop her close combat encounter with the air and falling snowflakes, thus allowing him to explain further. "Well, he's a human with Christmas magic."

"What kind of magic?" Asked Bismuth.

"Santa has been around for a really long time. He lives up in the North Pole with his wife, his Christmas elves and his nine tiny reindeer."

"I always thought it was eight tiny reindeer." Stated Greg.

"You're forgetting about Rudolf."

"Oh, yeah."

"What do these 'rain-deer' have to do with anything?" Asked Peri.

"And what's are 'elves'" Asked Lapis.

"The reindeer pull Santa's sleigh, and an elf is a short creature with pointy ears. There are a bunch of elves at the North Pole, and they all work for Santa and Missus Claus."

"Oh, so they're like pearls?" Asked Doc, before she realized what she had just said.

Once it finally hit her, she turned to see Pearl giving her a deep scowl.

"Uh, sorry." With the death glare she was receiving, Doc was eager to change the subject. "So, Steven, tell-us-more-about-Santa-Claus!"

"Oh, well, you see, Santa's been around for hundreds of years!"

"Hundreds? That's as impossible as it is for an ordinary human to live at the North Pole." Said Jasper. "Humans can't live that long."

"Well, Santa has, because, like I said, he has magic! Also, his reindeer can fly!"

Pearl took this opportunity to lean in close and whisper something to the barn Gems while Steven was busy with his explanation.

"I know this may be confusing, but he's really trying. If you can't follow, I'll tell you everything later."

"No thanks, I got it." Said Lapis, who then returned her attention to Steven before speaking. "So, Santa Claus is a human with magic that allows him to survive the frigid conditions of the North Pole, as well as live for hundreds of years with another human, nine magical flying reindeer and a bunch of short, pointy eared creatures?"

"Yeah, that's it." Said Steven, confirming her understanding of his explanation.

"Even if I were to believe any of that," said Jasper, "what purpose would such a human serve?"

"Yeah, and what does he have to do with Christmas?" Asked Peri.

"Oh, that's the best the part. For an entire year, Santa and his elves work hard to make toys and presents for all the good people in the world!"

Once again, the attention of the barn-bound Gems was caught.

"O-ho-kay," Bismuth tried her best to keep herself from laughing, "w-why?"

"It's his job. Every Christmas Eve, while everyone is sleeping, Santa drives his sleigh with his sack full of presents and candy in the back, being pulled by his flying reindeer, all around the world in one night. He goes inside people's houses just to give them presents! The stockings are usually filled with smaller gifts and candy, but he puts the bigger presents underneath the Christmas tree. Kids can write letters to Santa to tell him what they want, and if they're good, they might get them."

"Now, hold up!" Interrupted Bismuth. "If this Santa guy brings the presents, then why bother buying them yourself? Doesn't make much sense to me."

"To show that you care. But Christmas isn't all about the presents, Bismuth. It's about spending time with the people who care about you. You know, family and friends."

"Excuse me, Steven." Said Peri. "You said 'if they're good', that would imply that something happens to certain individuals who aren't 'good'."

"Oh, yeah." Steven adverted his gaze to the ground and scratched his head before speaking. "Santa only gives you presents if you've been good all year. If you've been bad, then he leaves you a lump of coal."

"Oh, I see."

It would appear that everyone seemed to understand what Christmas was, but then, Leggy asked a very important question.

"Hey, um, why are we all here again?"

"Leggy!" Shouted her former captain. "We're… oh, well actually, I don't really know why we're here."

"You wanna take this one, Pearl?" Asked Greg.

"Why certainly." She responded. "You see, Steven wanted to invite you all to spend Christmas with us."

"It'll be fun! What do you say?" Asked the eager human/Gem hybrid.

There was a moment of pause, where the Gems were just sitting around the campfire, thinking.

"Ah, why not." Bismuth was the first to answer. "I've grown to like these human customs."

"I'll admit, I'm also—somewhat—interested." Said Peri. "Count me in, too."

"It sounds like fun." Said Lapis before turning her attention to her pet. "What do you think, Pumpkin?"

Pumpkin responded with lots of happy excited barking.

"Sure, count me it." Said Jasper.

"Rubies," Doc addressed her former crew, now roommates and friends, "all in favor?"

"I." The rubies all said in unison.

"Well, I guess that's that." Confirmed Bismuth.

Steven smiled at the idea of his entire family spending Christmas together. Helping to decorate the barn, eating Christmas dinner, exchanging gifts… but then his smile disappeared for a second and then reappeared with the stars in his eyes.

"(gasp) Steven has an idea! Why don't we all be Secret Santas?"

"There's more than one?" Asked Peri.

"No… hold on, I'll be right back." Steven went into the barn and then came back with a pencil, paper, and a top hat. "Here's how Secret Santa works. First, we each write our names down on a piece of paper, fold them up and put them in the hat. Then, we each take turns taking a name out of the hat and whoever's name we draw, that's who you'll be a Secret Santa for. Whoever's name you choose, you gotta buy them an extra-special Christmas present."

Steven then proceeded to rip the paper into pieces and pass them out. Once he signed his own name, Steven passed the pencil down to everyone around the campfire. The names were then taken up and placed in the hat. Once everyone's name was in the hat, Steven took the hat and shook it, so is to mix up the names.

"Alright, now, who's first?" He asked.

"I'll go first." Said Peri.

Peri approached the hat and removed a single piece of paper from the confines of the hat. She then opened it up and silently read the name inside.

"Oh, I got—"

"No! Peri, you have to keep it a secret until Christmas. That's why it's called 'Secret' Santa."

"Oh, so I see."

"You're next Lapis."

Steven held the hat out in front of him and allowed Lapis to take a name. She opened it up and her eyes widened when she silently read the name written on the paper. She sat back down next to Peri and tried her best to inconspicuously avoid looking at whom she had picked. The hat was passed around from Gem to Gem, ending with Steven, who received the final name left in the hat.

"So, now what?" Asked Jasper.

"Well, we just finished decorating the house." Said Greg. "Maybe we can all go into town tomorrow morning and see if we can buy some more Christmas decorations to decorate your barn."

"Hey, Dad." Said Steven. "Instead of going into town, why don't try the Crystal Clear Mall in Empire City? That way, we can buy Christmas decorations and our Secret Santa gifts at the same time."

"Huh, I guess that could also work. What about you guys?"

The barn Gems only response was a nod of each of their heads, some even smiled. And so, the plan was agreed upon that the following morning, all of the Crystal Gems, plus Greg, would go to the Empire City Crystal Clear Mall for Christmas shopping. It's just twelve (or so) Gems, one human adult, and a human/Gem hybrid child in a public city mall. What could possibly go wrong?