I am so sorry for not updating earlier! I was working on this chapter for a while before I got it right, so if you're still watching me I thank you graciously. The sequel is finally here! So enjoy chapter numero uno!

-Ashley

"I want him gone Gibbs." Those were the first words that left Abby Scuito's mouth one spring morning.

Special Agent Gibbs looked up from his morning coffee to see the gothic forensic scientist standing in front of his desk. Her eyes burned with a fire of intense hate and she looked like she was about to punch a hole in his desk if he didn't acknowledge her. "Who, Abby?"

"You know who."

"No, I don't." Gibbs said, his attention now focused on her.

"DiNozzo. I hate him, and I'm sick of him. I'm sick of his stupid laugh, his stupid movie quotes, his stupid, no good ass, even though I have to admit I have found myself staring at it on occasion." Abby said, her head bobbing back and forth. "He keeps hitting on me, Gibbs! It is so gross, words cannot describe."

"Abby, it's only been a few months. Four, in fact. So cut him some slack. He'll get over it sooner or later," Gibbs said, looking back down at the newspaper he had spread out over his desk.

"No! That's your excuse for everything! He's only been here a few months! You know DiNozzo; he chases any girl who looks old enough to get a driver's license! He'll grow out of it," Abby mocked him in a cruel yet accurate imitation. "I couldn't care less if he saved a bunch of orphans out of a burning building, Gibbs. I want him gone. I want him gone now." She slammed her hands down upon his desk, making his newspaper fall off into the trash can.

"Abby, calm down," Gibbs said, standing up out of his chair. He had never seen Abby so angry before. "DiNozzo couldn't have done anything that bad. So what did he do?"

For several moments there was silence as he watched her; fists clenched, legs shaking, and most of her hair had fallen out of her pigtails.

What she said came out muffled through her teeth, but the message was loud and clear.

"He smacked my ass!"

"He did what?" Gibbs asked; suddenly now awaiting his co-worker's arrival.

"You heard me. He smack my ass. A two to three second, hard smack right on the right butt-check," Abby said. "We just had a seminar on sexual harassment too! He had no right to do that, and if I didn't hate court I would sue his ungrateful ass for sexual harassment and two accounts of murder."

"Murder?" Gibbs asked. "Who did he kill?"

"Bubba and Sam," Abby replied, her eyes glowing with tears.

"Who the hell are Bubba and Sam?" Gibbs asked.

"You remember a month ago when I went to that forensic science convention in New Jersey?" Abby asked, and then continued on without waiting for Gibbs' reaction. "Well, I asked him to feed Bubba and Sam for me while I was away. And guess what? I come back to my lab to see two little dead things flopping around in the bowl! He killed Bubba and Sam! He killed my goldfish!"

"You're mad at him over goldfish?"

"No! Did you just forget about the whole raping my ass thing?" Abby asked, shaking her head furiously. "No, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of him. He has got to go, or I will."

"C'mon, Abby, let's be reasonable here," A new voice added. Abby turned quickly around in her five inch platforms to see Tony standing there, his bag slung over her shoulder. "I didn't rape your ass. I just… checked its tenderness. You need a tender butt. It means you have a good bone structure."

"You bastard!" Abby screamed, slapping him across the face.

"Have mercy, woman!" Tony said, violently rubbed his now red check. "I didn't mean anything sexual by it!"

"Of course not! You were just checking my butt's tenderness," Abby barked furiously, lunging forward. Tony stepped back, trying not to get poked by her spiked collar. She fell to the floor in a heap and Gibbs rushed forward and held her arms behind her back. "When I get my hands on you, DiNozzo-"she said, but was interrupted.

"-You sure you didn't mean anything sexual by that statement? I think this is yellow light behavior," Tony said, taking another quick step back as Abby struggled to get forward.

"When I get my hands on you, Tony, you're going to wish you were never born a boy," Abby said, her eyes narrowing. Tony took a quick look down and backed up against the wall along the windows.

"That's enough," Gibbs barked in his usual fashion. "If you two can't learn to get along I'm going to fire you both."

"But, but, she started it!" Tony said, pointing at Abby almost innocently. "She started it when she tried to glue my feet to the floor!"

"You started it when you killed Bubba and Sam!" Abby said.

"Who?" Tony asked.

"My goldfish, you idiot! Do you have short term memory loss or something?" Abby said, now furious.

"Now what a second-"Tony said, but was cut off by Gibbs.

"-Abby, go to your lab. Now." Gibbs said, finally releasing her.

Abby stomped her foot on the ground, making Tony jump. She smiled and then looked at him. "This isn't over," she said, and marched off in pursuit of the elevator.

"Boss, you can't honestly believe that I-"Tony said, but was cut off by one of Gibbs' stares.

"I don't really care, DiNozzo. Sit down on your ass and finish your paperwork," Gibbs said, and Tony sat quickly as though his legs were cut out from under him. Gibbs slowly walked back towards his desk, fished the newspaper out of the trash, and took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee. As he watched DiNozzo start his work, he couldn't help but shake his head and wonder,

How the hell did I get myself into his?