Zoe's POV
I wouldn't say that I'm happy that Connor died. I wouldn't say that I'm sad either. I just felt blank. It took a while for my brain to process as I was on the line with 911. Sure, Connor has tried this before but he never got that close. Something had made me long for the brother I used to know while I was standing next to his still body. I couldn't come to terms that he actually succeeded. I didn't miss him. I missed the brother that used to give me piggyback rides in the backyard and would laugh and crack jokes with me. That Connor was gone a long time ago. It was hard to think that we used to get along. There was rarely yelling and rarely any arguments. But now here I am in the waiting room of a hospital awaiting news about the monster version of Connor. I knew he was dead. The moment I stepped into his room I knew it. But the doctors still try. Sure enough, 10 minutes later Dr. Shirley walks out to deliver the news I already knew.
"Mrs. Murphy?" She spoke with a monotonous voice but her expression gave it away.
"He's dead isn't he?"
"I'm afraid so yes. I'm so sorry. We tried everything we could to save him."
"It's ok. Thank you." I felt no signs of sadness in my body. He was terrible to me. Yet I still wished that he was here.
"We found this in his back pocket. You'd probably like to read it." Dr. Shirley hands me a piece of paper as she continues talking.
"We'll discuss arrangements once your parents get here."
"Thank you," I say as I unfold the paper.
I start to read. Dear Evan Hansen, Evan? Isn't that the guy Connor pushed today? Why would he write his suicide note to him? I continued reading. When I finished the letter is when I felt tears in my eyes. Connor wanted to know me. He wanted to have a relation. To be able to say that he was proud to have me as a sister.
I didn't go to school the next day. Or the day after. I couldn't bring myself to do it. My parents went to school to talk to Evan while I stayed home. Sulking in my bed. You didn't even know him. But you could've if you tried. No, I can't blame this on myself. This was his decision. There's nothing I can do now. I knew I had to go to school eventually. I didn't want to. I was going to get bombarded with sympathy, and questions like "How'd he do it?". I wasn't ready for that.
But alas, the day finally came.
AN: Thanks for taking the time to read this story! I might leave it as a one-shot but idk. Writing has never been my forte but writing fanfictions and getting feedback from all of you is really encouraging! On an unrelated note, thanks for all the support on my other 2 stories. Tips on my writing will always be accepted!