Sauron's Desperate Attempt

by Elvensong

After trying with orcs, uruk-hai, wizards and whatever else he can think of, he takes a clue from late night TV. My brief writing return after a long haitus - enjoy!

Do you need some extra cash during these tough economic times?

Have you experienced a 40% drop in your Mithril stock?

Do you think your realm is facing foreclosure?

We have the solution!

We are the Ring of Power guys!

Just send us your Ring of Power and we will send you money today!

Money for servants, horses, wars, invasions, defense from the guys invading that we just sent a ton of money to (fair warning) and MORE!

Best of all – your Ring of Power doesn't need to be new or even powerful. Old and broken Rings of Power are worth something (lake exposure, cave damage, fire and multiple close-up Hobbit caresses can affect market value).

So send us your Ring of Power today!

Send your Ring of Power in an envelope marked "Ring of Power" to S***** at the Tower with the (not at all threatening) Eye on Top. Satisfaction (kinda) guaranteed. If you are not satisfied with your exchange direct your calls to 1-800-too-late.