Never Smiles Anymore

My first one - shot…my first yugioh! fanfic…yet I don't feel accomplished. Reason why? I don't wanna talk about it…I needed to get this off my chest. Dedicated to my dear cousin Carol, keep fighting, please.

Disclaimer: I own a lovely chunk of nothing.

Note: If you don't understand something, there are some explanations at the bottom of this story.

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Atemu/Yami's POV

I remember it like it was just yesterday. I woke up in the morning, brushed my teeth, jumped on my best friend Yugi's bed when he wouldn't wake up for school, and went downstairs to make breakfast. It was a normal day…yet as I drank my coffee things didn't feel right. Yugi's Grandfather was away on an expedition to some ancient Peruvian pyramids, so I couldn't talk to him about what was bothering me, and Yugi, who would normally be the first person I'd talk to about anything, still wasn't downstairs.

"Strange." I mused to myself as I finished up. "Yugi if you don't come down in five minutes I'm taking the car to school without you." Of course I wouldn't really do that, what Yami would do that to his Hikari?* I began to get impatient, my pointy shoes taping on the floor like a strange Egyptian dance. Eventually, I looked up at the clock, it was 7:55. If we didn't leave now, we'd be late for sure. I bounded up the stairs, wanting to barge into his room right there, but knowing Yugi wouldn't like that. So I politely hammered on the door instead.

"Come on sleepy! We have a test in math today!" I yelled, rolling my eyes so over dramatically, I could practically hear them. All I heard in response was…well I heard nothing in response. I ignored the fact that Yugi needed his privacy and barged into his room, the back of the door slamming into the wall. I looked around the room… nothing. But the bathroom door was closed, so anyone with the least bit of common sense could know that he was in there.

I walked up to the bathroom, trying the handle with a certain sense of dread. Locked. Rawr. I felt around the top of the door to find the key that would unlock it, and eventually found it. I heard the click almost instantaneously as the key turned, but for some reason; I didn't want to go in. I just wanted time to STOP. I took a deep breath, told myself I was silly, and went in to meet a sight that still haunts me to this day.

Yugi was out cold on the floor, his arm wrapped around his bare stomach as thought he was having belly pains, a bit of blood on the floor that seemed to be coming from his head. He must have hit it when he fell. My whole body went cold as though I had been dunked in a bucket of ice water, then I just turned off my emotions. I had to stay calm, so that was what I did.

I dropped to the floor beside him to take his pulse and make sure he was just out cold, not something worse (I refused to think he was dead) and found it, but it was weak. I put my arms under the back of the point where the first half of your leg meets your second half (you know, that crease just underneath the knee) and the other half underneath his shoulders to pick him up.

I was surprised by how light he was. Had he been eating much lately? I honestly couldn't say. I should have paid more attention. I internally kicked myself for not noticing whatever was going on with Yugi earlier, but I had no time to wallow now. I carried him like a baby to the car Mr. Moto had bought Yugi/I for Yugi's 16th birthday, and stowed him in the backseat. I climbed into the front, pulling out faster then I should, and zooming off towards the highway. I heard some angry yells and beeps from behind me, but I ignored them as I made my way to the hospital.

Eventually when we got to the hospital, someone noticed us and took Yugi away on a stretcher, and I was left alone, standing in a busy waiting room, unable to move my legs to sit myself down. Eventually a doctor came out with an expression on his face I couldn't quite place. Anger? Sadness? What was it? "Are you related to Mr. Moto?" were the first words out of his mouth.

"Yes," I managed to get out, my voice whispery, cracking somewhere in there. I swallowed, and then answered in a voice more like my own, "yes."

"Well we're not entirely sure what Mr. Moto has, but he's waking up now, and wants to see you."

What came next I can't even describe. There was that ice water again, pulling me under like a strong current. I walked into his hospital room and saw not that laughing, carefree Yugi I came to know and love, but a teenage boy that looked like he should have wrinkles. There was no twinkle to his eye, no smile on his face, nothing. He was just… there. When he turned and saw me there though, a little life returned to his face. I wanted to break down right there, but I couldn't. I had to be strong for him.

Over the next few months different doctors tried different tests, but still nothing. Yugi turned 17, I made the football team. Yugi made honor roll, I got kicked off the team for beating up a kid that made fun of Yugi's height. Yugi's Grandpa died, I enrolled in college (but still lived at home so that wasn't a big difference). Everything was normal, and that was how I usually liked it. Yet, the feeling that there was something I was missing didn't leave.

I was at an extra night course for academically gifted students (I know I'm a nerd, you don't have to say it) when Yugi got the call. Halfway through the lesson I got a sharp pain in my chest, around the area of my heart. It hurt, too. The only reason I ever got a feeling like that was when one of my friends was in pain themselves. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Yugi needed my help. I stood up, and just walked through the exit (I really don't think the teacher cared; now there weren't enough members to meet the minimum requirement so he could go home). Again, I bypassed my emotions and became the same robotic person I was when I first took Yugi to the hospital. (By the way I got my own car)

I walked in, my eyes half closed, fearing the sight before my eyes. Could I take it this time? The answer was no, but I knew I still had to try. My eyelids dragged themselves open, partially against my will, and sitting on the ground was a broken person. Yugi clutched the phone in his right hand by his ear as though that phone was a life raft, and he was about to drown. Shock was etched clearly into his young features, as was pain and disbelief. Silent tears chased themselves down his face and dribbled onto the hardwood floor.

If there's one thing I can't handle, it's when Yugi cries. The pain of it can sometimes take my breath away, especially if the problem was serious. I could tell right from where I was standing there that the problem was defiantly serious.

I dropped down next to him, not asking any questions, not doing really anything, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He turned his face to cry into my chest as I rocked back and forth and murmured words of soothing nonsense to him. Eventually the tears slowed to the point where you could only hear them if you listened carefully, and the shaking in his chest came to a standstill too.

I don't know how long we sat on the floor, but eventually he fell asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake him up, or the strength to carry him to his room, so all night we were on that floor. I may have drifted to sleep somewhere in the middle there, but I honestly couldn't remember. When the sun began to rise, Yugi stirred very lightly, and I turned my tired gaze down to meet his confused one.

"We were on the floor all night?" he asked curiously, as he smuggled out of my arms to stretch.

"I couldn't wake you," I said, smiling slightly for no reason…maybe to comfort him. I didn't want to ask what was on both of our minds, but I knew I might as well get to over with.

"What did the doctor say..?" I trailed off quietly. Maybe Yugi didn't hear me. Maybe I didn't want him to hear.

He opened his mouth, but no sound found its way out. He began to shake quietly, and I was afraid he was going to start crying again, but he took a few deep breaths and pulled himself together. "They found out what the problem is…" he said, his voice barely a whisper.

There he stopped. I wasn't sure if he wanted to go on, or was stopping from what ever expression he saw on my face.

"Y-yami..." he tried to begin, his voice was scary, it had no strength.

"Yes little aibou?"

"I...I have cancer."

How I reacted when I heard the news is a memory that my mind keeps concealed away from me, I blocked it out because what happened next…the utter, heart – wrenching pain, was too painful to deal with. So I chose not to remember. Less than a week ago the doctors said that Yugi had a month, at most, to live. I couldn't tell him, he had to have some sliver of hope, telling him would only break him. So I treasured everyday like it was his, and my, last. Every day, such as the day before, could be.

Yugi's POV

I gave a weak smile in response to something Joey said, which made every person in my 'gang' laugh lightly, but I couldn't force myself to laugh along with them. I appreciated the effort to cheer me up, I truly did, but I had no energy. No matter how much sleep I got the night before I would always wake up tired the day after. Another thing I hated about the illness I had.

I looked to my left and saw my yami staring at me over protectively, as always, but more so in the last few months. Why? Why did he suddenly look like he was about to jump in front of a bullet for me, or like he was about to fight off the Grim Reaper himself if he tried to go near me-

Oh. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Suddenly everything that had happened over the past few weeks crashed down on me. I didn't have much time left, and Yami knew it. My vision became blurred as tears sprang to my eyelids, threatening to overfill onto my cheeks. No wonder why he didn't tell me, he knew I would react as badly as I did now. Something was wrong, more wrong than it already was.

I couldn't feel my legs. My head reeled drunkenly as my constant stomach pains started up again. Yet, now, it was worse. It felt as if my stomach was literally trying to eat itself. All the blood rushed to my head as my eyes closed. Miles away I heard my friends calling my name in alarm. I tried to call back but there was a weight on my chest, a weight that was dragging me under. I saw a light up ahead, and I tried to get up and walk to it.

Somehow, I knew that if I walked into it, my pain would go away. But there was a life force beside me, practically crying. I turned to comfort him/her, but there was no one beside me…how could that be? I opened my eyes to a bright white room, and at once became alarmed. I sat up in the bed of an unfamiliar room with no signs of decoration that I could see, and started to panic. That is, until a pair of strong, reassuring hands pushed me back onto the bed.

"Easy there Yugi," said Yami softly, his voice comforting me. "I don't want the doctors to have to sedate you."

I looked around me and noticed for the first time that I was in the hospital. I really despised this place. Medicines and IV's flowed into my body through a tube, machines beeped noisily, and people sneezed and cried. I'd wasted too much of my life here.

"I hate this place," I tried to say, but I was shocked when it wasn't my voice. Well, not really. It was just a whisper, too weak to be considered as anything else. Yami seemed to realize I was in pain and began to trace circles on the back of my hand to calm me down. I don't know how he always did it, but he did it. I was asleep in almost no time.

Yami's POV

"Maybe.." said the soft voice of Ryou, Yugi's friend and fellow hikari. "Maybe it's time.."

"Time for what?" I snapped, staring at him with wild, angry eyes. I tried to calm my voice down, after all it wasn't his fault.

"Easy, man." Bakura, a fellow yami, said. "Calm down. You don't wanna lose control of the shadows again."

I realized at once he was right. I didn't even realize I was slipping. It was always helpful to have Bakura by me, he could always sense when I was about to slip.

"...Time we give up." Ryou continued from before, he voice even softer.

My eyes widened to the point where they felt like they were about to pop out of my skull. I twisted around in place where my crimson eyes of fire met his sad, defeated chocolate eyes. I didn't process what he said, I just let it go right over my head.

"He...he might have a point..." Bakura said in the same defeated voice.

That time I couldn't ignore it. Like hell they were gonna take Yugi way from me.

"What, now your giving up on him now?!"

Bakura just shook his head, he opened his mouth to say something to me, but I cut him off.

"WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR HIKARI WAS IN THIS POSITION?!" I practically shouted.

Ryou's eyes widened slightly, but Bakura managed to keep his expression under control, yet his voice was still quiet as he answered.

"Yugi's in pain."

My anger froze in place, literally freezing me in my tracks. My body took on that too familiar feeling, the feeling I had been dipped in a bucket of ice. I realized then that Bakura was right, and it was selfish of me to keep Yugi close when it would only hurt him, and me, in the end. I took a look at his broken figure through the glass window, his form, not peaceful even when sleeping. He kept twitching as though he was having a horrible dream.

The life support machine next to him beeped away his heartbeats, and I treasured everyone, for now I knew that they were even more numbered then before. Tears filled my eyes when I saw him wake up and look around blindly, unable to see anyone there to comfort him. I quickly walked in, preparing to face just about anything.

"Hello Angel." I said quietly, a broken whisper. Yugi smiled slightly when he heard me use one of the nicknames for him.

"Hey Yami." he said as he sucked in a deep breath of air.

I bit my lip and knelt down next to him, grabbing his hand for comfort. But to comfort him, or me?

"Yugi...a-are you in...pain?" I asked, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Pssh. No..." he said, looking away from me to watch the hospital's busy hallways.

Him looking away said it all. I knew he'd never lie to me, but he would tell little fibs out of the goodness of his heart. He could never hurt anyone, I knew that, he knew that, everyone knew that.

"Yugi.." I said, taking a deep breath. "Next time you fall asleep..the doctors are gonna turn off your life support."

He looked at me with his wide, amethyst eyes, and I lost it. The tears I had been trying to fight off ran down my cheeks without mercy, not stopping for the tiniest second. My breathing became shallow and grave-like as Yugi sat up in bed and pulled me to his chest. Wait, what was that?! Yugi was comforting me?! Wasn't I the yami here? Wasn't I supposed to comfort HIM?

A small voice in the back of my mind said, "You two comfort each other. You two are always there for each other through and through. Especially when it really counts." I didn't have the heart to tell it to shut up. I knew it was right.

"Shh.." Yugi said, his small hand rubbing circles on my back. Eventually the flow of tears stopped long enough for me to look at him. His face was set, determined. There was not an ounce of fear or sadness in them as I suspected.

"A-are you afraid?" I managed to get out, as soon as I was sure my voice wouldn't wobble.

"Of death? No. Of losing all my friends, yes," he said tiredly. He probably knew I wouldn't leave. I couldn't. It would take more than an army of magic welders and every villain I could name to get me out of here.

Over time Ryou and Bakura came in to say their goodbyes. Ryou was emotional, as always, and I even saw Bakura's eyes get a nit watery. Not more than two hours later, Yugi was asleep. The doctor trudged in with a monotone face. He made his way over to the life support machine as thought he was on fast forward. I closed my eyes and whispered "Goodbye my angel."

I trudged back home like a robot, half expecting to see Yugi watching TV or come running downstairs to greet me, but no such thing happened. The house was cold and dark without him. I saw the answering machine blink and made my way over to it slowly, not truly caring who it was. "One missed message." said the voice of the cool woman as I pressed the "listen to" button. "7 months ago 6:43, pm." "Strange." I thought to myself dully. "I don't remember seeing a blinking light for that long." Then I remembered, that was just before Yugi got sick for the first time.

"Hey Yami!" said the cheerful voice of Yugi. I instantly alerted, and grabbed onto the answering machine as though it was a lifeline. "I just wanted that tonight I'm spending the night at Ryou's, come on over if ya want. Bye!"

I remembered calling Yugi about that. I got mad at Yugi because the message never went through (at least not until now) and because I was so worried about him. But after that, why didn't I go? Oh yeah, I had a biology test the next day. My teeth gritted as I remembered, why oh why didn't I go to Ryou's? So many mistakes I'd never be able to apologize to Yugi for. So many times I wish I could redo. The tears started flowing again as I fell to the floor to weep.

!!! A few months later !!!

Just to sum things up fast, thing's have not been going well for me. I'll spare you all the boring details and skip to one night. The night, in fact, of what SHOULD be Yugi's 19th birthday. I tossed restlessly in bed as horrible image after image sprang into my mind, most of them involving Yugi crying out for help but me not being there for him.

"You know." said a voice that was so painfully familiar. "I can't move on with you hanging on to me so tightly."

Dream-me spun around in place as a shock went through my body. There was Yugi, standing there as if it was just any other simple day. I reached out to hug him, to hold him tight and never let go, but I went right through him, like a ghost.

"I can't go to the afterlife if you won't move yourself." he said again, staring at me, unleashing the full power of his eyes on me.

"I...I can't let you go." I said dejectedly.

"We're not parting forever."

"We're...not?"

"No Yami. Live a full life. Die a natural death. And you will be let in the same afterlife as me and we will re-meet...besides, you know I'm always with you."

I could do nothing but nod dumbly back. "Live a full life..." Yugi said as he faded. "Keep me in your memories."

I awoke with a start as cold sweat poured down my back. I got up and tiptoed downstairs to listen to Yugi's message for old time's sake, but when I hit play, the message was gone.

!!! 75 years later !!!

I sat peacefully under the cherry tree in the backyard on a warm, Sunday afternoon. I never found someone to share my life with, but I really didn't need love. I still had Ryou and Bakura, so my life was full. Time to time I would let my thoughts wander to my lost best friend, but I never truly cried for him. I was ofter saddened by the fact that he was gone, but happy at the same time...you know? It's impossible to describe.

I closed my eyes as the birds began to chirp a cheerful tune. When I opened them again, I was met by the shining face of Yugi standing by a pair of golden gates, welcoming me into the afterlife.

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If ya didn't catch it at the end, Yami died to of old age. So please, PLEASE, review, this story took me forever. Once again it's dedicated to my cousin Carol, may the Lord be with her. Anything else...hm..nope that's it for now. Expect more from me soon ^^

- Chrissy