A/N: I know that this is not the story that I am working on and I am sorry for that but I just wanted to publish something real quick and see what you guys think. I have my next chapter started I am just at a bit of a lose as to where to go... But I am working on it and will hopefully update soon. In the mean time enjoy this sappy little turd.
I actually wrote this for Gossip Girl (Blair/Serena) but I just replaced their names and tweaked it a little so sorry for any inconsistencies. I would really like to know what you think. It is always so encouraging :)
Additionally, I am adding this message to provide the site to the original story when I wrote it for Blair/Serena posted in October of 2009.
http:/ artgrrl1989. livejournal. com/4994. html
Because, not to be mean, I have not even read Should have asked for directions.
Rachel Berry sat slumped in a chair her head resting on the cool marble surface of the vanity before. Her small body slightly quaked as she quietly sobbed out her heartache. It was the first moment of peace she had all day. Finally being alone allowed her thoughts to consume her, which had proved to be too much for the diva to handle, resulting in the tear shed. Rachel struggled to push the emotions down and looked up at her reflection. She was a mess. Rachel assigned herself the task of fixing her make up, trying to forget the turmoil brewing within her. She focused only on reapplying her eye make up and ridding herself of any blotchy red marks. She acted as if it were just like preparing for any other performance, a task that she was well acquainted with. Rachel finished and looked at herself critically. Her eyes were slightly red still but other than that she looked as perfect as she had moments before. She plastered a smile on her face having perfected the art of faking a smile over the years. She thought of the one person who could see through the mask but found it too difficult for her heart to bear. Instead she watched her reflection carefully, curious about how whether she was smiling or not, her eyes remained dull and lifeless.
"Ready Rae-bear?" her father asked entering the room. His voice grated against her nerves. It was far too happy for Rachel considering the circumstance. But Rachel turned to one of her fathers with that practiced smile.
"Yes." she said trying to get her voice to mimic her father's tone. After all, it was her wedding day, the happiest day of her life.
Heart aches, on your wedding day, double takes when they look my way
Knees quake, there ain't a shot gun in the place
You like the frostin', you just bought the cake your eyes can't fake
Still in love with nobody and I won't tell nobody
Rachel watched as her bridesmaids marched down the aisle before her in their red satin gowns with little interest. Tina and Mercedes looked beautiful, and Kurt looked flamboyant as ever in his suit made out of the same red fabric as the dresses. But she felt no excitement when it was her turn to walk down the aisle to meet her groom. She had detached herself from the events surrounding her in order to cope. Her body was there complacent and smiling, but her mind was running, madly in denial that she was going to go though with this. Everything was absolutely perfect from the church to the flowers to the dress to the groom. Rachel had spent the months before acting like a crazy person ensuring that this day would be flawless only to realize she had looked over a detail. The bride was a hopeless wreck.
"Our turn Rachel." her other father said quietly, his incessant smile was beginning to bother her. Never the less, she followed her father as she heard the Wedding March start and the congregation rose to greet the bride. Rachel began her duty march down the aisle, with a father on either side of her. The brunette looked like the blushing bride she should as she walked past the rows of her guests. Smiling and bowing her head the way she rehearsed. But on the inside she felt as though her fathers was dragging her down the aisle kicking and screaming.
Suddenly Rachel's body froze, she thought her heart was going to beat through her chest, and her legs did not feel as though they could not support her weight. All pretenses were abandoned as she spotted a familiar frame with bright blonde hair in the middle row, positioned at the very end of the pew. The blonde hair that had once flowed down to the middle of her back was now cropped short in a perfectly tousled bob but there was no mistaking who it was. Rachel would know those curves anywhere. Sure she had sent out the invitation, but more as a warning, a way to let the blonde know what was happening. What she did not expect was for Quinn Fabray to actually attend her wedding. And yet, the confident blonde stood there watching her through dark shades. Blair felt all of her feelings for the blonde that she thought she had repressed flood back. Quinn stood out from the her lavish surroundings and the other guest dressed in their finest, as she had opted to wear a black blazer and a white vee neck t-shirt with dark washed skinny jeans tucked into a pair of black riding boots. She could not see the taller girls eyes but she sensed the swirling, hazel orbs were trained on her and her alone.
Her falter only lasted a moment before she reestablished her facade and continued toward her future husband. She could not still love Quinn Fabray.
The bride-groom drags you 'cross that room
Said 'I do' but honey you were just a kid
Your eyes said I did, still in love with nobody, nobody, nobody
And I won't tell nobody
Quinn watched as Rachel walked down the aisle. Her heart still fluttered at the sight of the brunette. She was gorgeous in her white dress. Quinn momentarily let herself imagine that the brunette was traveling to her side; she pretended that she was the one taking Rachel's hand in marriage. But that was a dream that had passed. They had fought too much, and hurt each other too often. Their love had shone so bright yet burnt out so quickly. So Quinn had done what she did best, she run away. Having to share Rachel with Broadway had been too much for her. And now Rachel was walking into the arms of none other than Finn Hudson and it was almost too much for the blonde to handle. Quinn had seen the petite brunette waver. Rachel's eyes had always given her away. So when the blonde looked into the brown depths, she knew without a doubt that Rachel was in love with nobody. Something Quinn wanted to remedy.
As the service continued, Quinn fought to stay in her seat. She desperately wanted to object to the union of this man and woman. She wanted to stand up and announce that this "hole-y" matrimony was a hoax that they should all quit their charade and go home. But she could not bring herself embarrass Rachel who would have been mortified if Quinn spoke up. It only got worse as they exchanged their vows, promising to love each other forever and put the cap on the toothpaste. Quinn watched as Rachel's eyes welled with tears, everyone else assuming they were tears of joy. However Quinn knew better. Rachel cried for her lack of devotion, for her confusion, for her lost love. The blonde's misery peaked as the groomed kissed the bride. Quinn felt as though she was going to be physically ill as she was forced to watch Rachel kiss this Finn, the boy who picked up the pieces, and was now her husband.
The husband and wife merrily exited the church and everyone stood to go throw birdseed at them but Quinn had a different plan. She went to her new motorcycle to go to the reception. The shiny, black bike had been an impulsive buy. While Rachel had been finding solace in the arms of another, Quinn had thrown herself into work at the law firm, quickly climbing through the ranks. Then on the weekends, she spent her time finding new, sometimes-dangerous hobbies, like the motorcycle. She tired to fill the gaping whole in her heart where Rachel had been with things and experiences. But she found herself back at the Upper East Side almost every Sunday as she wandered passed their old apartment, still trying to fill the void. Now she realized that the only thing that could complete her was Rachel.
Take a look on your wedding night
In your wedding book see what name I signed, hey
Rachel and Finn ran down the church steps heralded with congratulations and birdseed. This is a stupid tradition Rachel thought as she shielded herself from being pelted with the tiny projectiles. She glanced at her new husband, blissfully unaware of his new wife's malcontent, as he generally was. And we have not even gone on their honeymoon yet Rachel thought ruefully. They finally reached the shelter of their car, her beau laughing brushing seed out of his hair that had not changed since high school. He turned and gave Rachel a crooked grin but it was not the smile she wanted to see. He leaned in to kiss her but she instinctually turned her cheek.
"Is everything alright?" he asked confused by Rachel's behavior. She heard the hurt tainting his voice. Part of her wanted to roll her eyes at that hurt puppy expression, but she shoved that urge down and turned to him with a small smile.
"Of course." she lied then forced herself to kiss him. But it felt wrong. His lips were too rough, his smell was not right, his stubble grating against her cheek. She settle back in her seat as they went to the reception were their marriage would be celebrated, her friend and family unknowingly rubbing her sorrows in her face. They did not know that she was in love with nobody.
Love nobody, nobody, nobody
Then nobody, nobody nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Quinn arrived at the reception before the happy newly weds. She had no intentions of staying watching the festivities. To watch Rachel dance in the arms of Finn was like a personal hell for the blonde. She just went to sign the guest book. Flipping to the back she scratched down her entry. As she turned to leave, the doors flew open as Rachel and Finn entered the grand hall. She halted all movements mesmerized by the stunning brunette. She saw Rachel stop as well who looked like she had seen a ghost. Finn looked at her concerned but she quietly told him to go on and she would catch up. The hulking man continued into the ballroom leaving the two girls alone, though he glared daggers at Quinn, which she returned.
"What are you doing here Quinn?" Rachel asked keeping her distance.
"Watching my best friends wedding," she said.
"Bull shit." Rachel whispered.
"What do you want me to say Rach?" Quinn asked, mildly surprised at Rachel's swearing.
"Don't call me that." Rachel said harshly. Quinn could see the anger flaring in her big brown eyes, letting it override her pain.
"Sorry Mrs. Hudson." Quinn bit back.
"No, you don't get to be angry. You were the one that left." Rachel cried as she was floundering in her emotions
"I am sorry Rachel. I was stupid. I still lo-" Quinn began. Rachel's hands dramatically flew to her ears.
"Please no. Just go. I can't, I can't." Rachel abruptly interrupted as she began to crumble before the blonde. Quinn almost reach out to the small bride. She wanted to hold her again and tell her it would be all right. But instead, she respected Rachel's wishes and turned to leave. She paused in the exit before leaving Rachel with a final thought.
"I know you love nobody." she said quietly before ducking out of the hall.
Hips shake to the band for old time sake
Now you make your get away
And you're waving to the stage
But on the last page
Quinn's words echoed with Rachel for the rest of the evening. Even after she pulled herself together and rejoined her husband, the blonde haunted her. Rachel recalled the painful memory of the last time she had seen Quinn. They had been having one of their blowouts, which seemed to be happening more often then not those days. It had started as such a petty argument that had snowballed into a huge shouting match. Rachel could not even remember what had evoked the fight that had sent the couple careening over the edge; She just remembered her extreme hurt and anger.
"This is ridiculous Quinn! You are never here anymore! Do you know how awful it is going to bed, not knowing where the hell you are?" Rachel shouted angrily just one of the list of complaints she had.
"Don't talk to me about not being her. You are the one who is constantly at rehearsal or an interview or a cast party." Quinn bit back cruelly. Rachel was stung with guilt but she covered it by emitting more anger. Quinn knew how bad she felt about constantly working. But success had graced Rachel Berry early and now she had to fight to keep it.
"What do you want me to quit the musical? Just quit my dreams?" Blair yelled.
"You always do that! You discredit my feelings. You treat me like I am nobody. I am your girlfriend Rachel! This is not like Glee Club were everyone comes second to you!" Quinn erupted. Rachel's eyes blazed with anger. Quinn hit a touchy subject. The diva had really grown since high school, finding enjoyment in working as a team, with the occasional solo. But the blonde was mad and hurt and did not care how it made Rachel feel.
"Maybe you aren't my girlfriend anymore, it does not seem like you want to be. Maybe you are just nobody to me!" Rachel had ranted but in had only been in the moment fury. When Quinn had quietly left after that, she thought that the blonde would be back eventually. They need time to cool off but then she would return and they would talk it out and apologize like they always did. But the blonde never came back. There was no phone call, no goodbye, no letter, just her disappearance, leaving Rachel to cry her heart out and wonder all on her own with Finn hovering around giving her misery some company. Because the truth is Quinn was her everything.
Rachel did not even know how she got to this point as she sat at her wedding reception watching as the people around her celebrate her unholy matrimony. She observed the toasts and listened to how they would live happily ever after. She danced with Finn, supposedly the first of many. She tossed her bouquet into the sea of rabid bridesmaids. But her thoughts never left the tall blonde. She had to wonder, if this was her life now. Always comparing her spouse with the golden beauty of her past. Finn confused why he could never measure up to the brunette's standard no matter what he did. She imagined them growing old together, growing bitter, learning to despise one another.
Finally the party was over and Finn was leading her away to go to some honeymoon sweet of some fancy hotel where they would consummate their marriage. Rachel shivered with disgust at the thought shoving it out of her mind as she waved goodbye to her guests. Rachel thought it would be more appropriate to bow considering the performance she had just given. It may have been her best one yet.
"I know you love nobody," a voice whispered in her head.
Love nobody, nobody, nobody
Then nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Rachel flopped on the lavish bed in her big white dress. She lay perfectly still, physically and emotionally exhausted from the day. Her eyes scanned the room decorated with red roses, her wedding gifts stacked in a table, having been delivered there. She wanted nothing more than to slip into sleep and not have to deal with her handsome, ex-quarterback husband. She watched as he loosened his tie and removed his shoes. He was good-looking, charming, loyal, and successful even as a sport's team manager. Why can he not be enough Rachel wondered.
"I am going to hop in the shower. Too much dancing." he said stupidly smiling, not knowing that his wife had never really loved him.
"Okay." Rachel said sitting up.
"I love you," he said believing it, at least for now.
"You too." Rachel mumbled as he disappeared into the bathroom. She could not even say it anymore. The sudden reappearance of Quinn had turned Rachel's world upside down. How could the blonde still have such an impact? She was over the taller girl she thought. But it sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Rachel distracted herself with the gifts. She slumped into a chair at the table and picked up a box rattling it slightly. Coffee pot. Taking another, she shook it. Toaster. The bored brunette then noticed her wedding book. Idly she flipped open the book reading the names of her guests and their words of congratulations. It all meant nothing. Rachel still felt painfully empty inside. She turned the pages until the end. Barely reading, until she recognized a familiar scrawl. Her heart nearly stopped as she realized it to be Quinn's loopy handwriting. Rachel almost snapped the book shut, wanting to ignore the entry completely. But her heart would not let her. She tentatively read the words before her.
I still love you.
I will wait for you.
-Nobody
Rachel felt an unexplainable wetness slipping down her cheeks. Soon she recognized them as tears, not having realized she had started silently crying. She attempted to wipe them away but more kept coming. She finally admitted to herself that she could not live this life. Rachel knew she could not ever love anyone, more than she loved Quinn. It was unfair to her and Finn to continue this rouse of a relationship. Her heart ached to be with the blonde. Despite the time and distance between them, her love for Quinn had not wavered and she could not be without her anymore. They loved each so fiercely and yet had caused each other the most pain. The brunette had been so afraid of her feelings; so afraid to accept such an undying love, that she had pushed Quinn away and the blonde did not fight for her. But after all this time, she realized that she could not live without it anymore. Rachel suddenly had to get out of there. She rifled through some drawers finding a pen. On the page with Quinn's message she wrote one word. Sorry. Slipping off her wedding bands, she fled from the suite, blindly running, not caring of the consequences that would follow.
That you're still in love with nobody, nobody, nobody
And I used to be nobody, nobody, nobody
Anymore more
Quinn leaned up against her bike outside the hotel. She wondered if the newly weds were wrapped up in each other's loving embrace. Quinn felt her anger rise as she thought of Finn Hudson caressing Rachel's face, looking into her eyes. Rachel was hers. He had no right. And yet he had every right. Rachel was his wife. The brunette belonged to him now. The jealously was almost too much for the blonde to handle. She imagined Rachel would not get her message until the next day. Or even after that. But she wanted to be there. Quinn had meant it. She would wait.
And then, as if a dream, a petite brunette in a large white gown emerged from the hotel, clearly distraught, blindly looking for something. The bride looked close to tears, her hair was slightly mussed as strands feel down around her face. Her dress caught in the wind almost making the blonde think it was a ghost and yet still she was achingly beautiful. Quinn was amazed for a moment, before she snapped out of it.
"Rachel?" Quinn called out. The brunette's attention focused onto the blonde in surprise.
"Quinn? What are you doing here?" Rachel asked confused. Quinn did not know exactly how to answer.
"Waiting." Quinn finally settled on. At that, Rachel fell into Quinn's arms as she dissolved into tears.
"I cannot do it. I cannot pretend anymore. I love you Q. I always have." Rachel stuttered between her sobs.
"Oh Rach, I love you too. You don't have to pretend anymore." Quinn choked out her owns tears falling.
"I know that we've messed this up. I know that there has been pain but you are the only one who can make me happy. I love you, can't that be enough?" Rachel asked looking into the blonde's hazel eyes.
"It is enough. I promise you baby, we will fix this. We are worth the fight. Our love is enough. It is the only thing. I am so sorry for leaving. Every day was agony without you." Quinn told the brunette.
"I am sorry for pushing you away." Rachel murmured into the blonde's shoulder. Their tears began to dry up and Rachel pulled away slightly so they could gaze at each other lovingly. Finally, Quinn closed the distance between them, as their lips met in a passionate kiss, their lips gently getting reacquainted. Quinn finally found what she had been looking for right back were she started kissing her gorgeous brunette. Her emptiness finally filled with love once again.
"God, I love you so much." Quinn whispered reverently as they parted.
"I love you too. Take me away from here." Rachel requested quietly. Quinn nodded and led her brunette to her motorcycle. Rachel questionably laughed at the vehicle but Quinn simply shrugged and helped her onto the bike. Quinn felt the brunette hold on tight to her waist as she revved the engine then took off into the night with Rachel's dress billowing behind them in the wind. As they drove through the city, picking up speed, Quinn felt as though nothing could touch them ever again. It felt as though the worries and the fears slipped away like the rapidly passing scenery. They were enveloped in their own world, as reality became a disoriented blur. And Quinn knew when they stopped she would still have Rachel and they would still be untouchable.
Neither woman knew what the future held but they knew that they would love each other happily ever after.